Broken Fairytales (40 page)

He nodded.
“
Yeah, so
I was on the phone
with her
until five this morning
,
which is when she finally decided I wasn’t lying and she could trust me,
and then
I
got woken up at nine by mom asking if I could give Randy a bath and mow the grass because the guy who was supposed to do it is sick today and can’t come until next week, and that won’t work because mom and dad are having some friends down for the weekend, so I can I please mow the grass since the mower is too hard for her to work
, and if the grass doesn’t get mowed it will look unsightly
. I
t
was fucking awesome. For future reference, I don’t do well on less than eight hours of sleep
a night
.”

“I can see that,” I said, rubbing his shoulder.

He shrugged me off in annoyance.

“Okay, whatever,
” I said, glaring at his unnecessary hostility. “G
o pass out on the beach for the rest of the day. It’s not like you have anything else to do.”

“I still have to wash the dog
and mow the grass!
” he said, as if I were dense.

“And kill Molly,” I reminded him
, letting it go that I assumed he’d already done what M
om had asked.

“That too,” he grumbled.
“Mom went shopping with some friend of hers, and she’s going to expect everything to be done by the time she get
s
home.”

He was being a little dramatic. The yard wasn’t that big
. He would just have to mow
the front and part of the side yards. It c
ouldn’t take more than an hour, but I was empathetic.
He’d had a rough night.

“So we’ll di
vide and conquer,” I suggested, and
Chase raised his eyes to me. “I’ll wash Randy, you mow, and
then
we’ll crash on the beach – or I’ll go help you kill Molly if you still want to.”

“Thank you,” he said, and I could see the relief on his face before he scrunched it up and sighed.

Man, he was cranky.

“So w
hat’s new with you? I heard you come home around four. Out with Zack again?”

I nodded, unable to keep the grin from
creeping
onto my face. “Yeah, I was.”

“Man, that’s like three nights in a row. I th
ought you guys were keeping things
casual.”

“We are,”
I insisted, but it didn’t sound convincing.

It wasn’t my fault Zack had kept wanting to hang out. I had
every intention of keeping things
casual, but he wasn’t making it very easy when he kept calling me. Not that I was objecting.

“Be careful,” Chase said, catching me off-guard.
“He’s not like the guys you date. He’s not Ben.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “I thought you hated Ben?”

“I wasn’t his biggest fan, true, but I know he was good to you. He cared about you.”

I raised my eyebrows. “And you’re saying Zack doesn’t care about me?”

“I didn’t say that,” Chase said. “I just know a little bit about Zack’s past, and I think you need to be careful. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

As much as I appreciated Chase’s concern, it irritated me that he didn’t trust Zack, or me for that matter.

“How do you know about his past?” I asked, suddenly wary of my brother’s knowledge. Did he know more than I did?

“I asked Molly.”

“You did?”

He nodded. “I also asked her about Jared. I want to be sure my sisters are hanging out with good guys. She filled me in on
a few, let’s say, unsavory things, about Zack’s past.”

I sighed. He was being sweet, and he wasn’t completely out of line.

“I know about his past, Chase,” I said calmly. “I also know he’s a different person now, so I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.”

“I know, Molly said the same thing, but I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

He got up and carried his empty bowl to the sink.

I turned to face him. “I don’t want to get hurt either,” I said, emphatically. “Trust me, I’ve got my guard up.”

“Good,” he said
,
and I couldn’t help smiling. My brother really did care about me.

“Chase?” I called after him as he was leaving the room.

“Yeah?” He popped his head back in into the kitchen.

“Thanks for looking out for me.” I smiled.

He returned my smile. “Anytime.”

***

For the next three weeks, I saw Zack as much as I could
.
It was like we couldn’t get enough of each other, and
r
egardless of what either of us said, there was something between us that was more th
an just a casual relationship. I was slowly falling for him
,
as much as I hated to admit it
, because I truly didn’t want to get caught in something so serious after getting out of a five year relationship, but I couldn’t help it
.
I loved how he
let his guard down around me
, especially when we were alone. I got to know the Zack that no one else did
, and that guy was pretty amazing
.

I noticed that for the most part, he was pretty reserved in public, aside from his gigs at Phil’s when he had to be the life of the party
,
which I
knew
was an act.
The real
Zack wasn’t a big fan of crowds
. He
preferred to
just
play his guitar or talk to his family when we were out at parties. Mostly though, he just liked to hold my hand or wrap his arms around me and steal kisses until he could convince me to leave with him. Once we were alone, he was a different person.

But those were the good days, and a lot of our time together was dictated by how his mother was feeling. On
good days
, when he was okay leaving her with her sisters, we’d go out and be social, but on
bad days
when he didn’t feel like he could leave
. Those were the days I hated the most because I knew they meant his mom was feeling especially bad.
The hard thing was
, as our time at the beach ebbed forward,
hi
s mom got
progressively wors
e.

Between juggling work and his increased commitments at home, our time together was often
limited
or squeezed in late at night
.
He would be by her side
as much as he could
when she was awake
,
attending to her ever
y need or just talking to her.
On those days, it wouldn’t be until after
s
he’d fallen asleep
that Zack would come over to my house, usually his head hung low in defeat, frustrated that he couldn’t stop the force that was killing
his mom.

The good thing was, h
e no longer stayed away for
days on end like he had when we’d
first started dating, but it was almost worse, because instead of seeing him after his mom was feeling better
and he was in a good mood
, I got to experience ev
ery emotion he was feeling as the ups and downs of her health
played out on a daily basis. He didn’t hide from me, and as much as I appreciated that, it hurt worse that I couldn’t do anything to take away the anguish he felt.

He absorbed a lot of her pain, so much so that it was
almost harder on him at times.
She’d made her peace with what was g
oing to happen, but he hadn’t
, and there were nights when it almost ate him alive
.
It was nights
like that when we’d end up at his
secluded beach by the rocks.
We’d sit at the mouth of the cave, holding hands, his head on my shoulder
, and look out at the ocean.
Sometimes h
e would want to talk,
other times
he preferred the si
lence
,
and other times he just wanted to bury himself in things that would take his mind off his mom
.
It was almost as if it got too tough for him to be sad, so he just shut down that emotion and forced himself to be happy
,
or at least blissfully unaware.

A few
weeks after we started seeing each other Zack asked me if I
wanted
to meet his mother.
He said it in such a way that made me th
ink he
’d
thought I would say no.
He said that a lot of people were af
raid of her
cancer.
He confessed that he’d had a girlfriend
when he’d been a
t
Duke
who’d been unable to deal with the whole situ
ation
.
He
had broken up with her
a few
months a
fter his mother was diagnosed
the first time
.
She apparently would burst into tears whenever
Zack
talked about his mom,
and s
he also started to get
weird about going over to hi
s
apartment after his mother had visited one weekend
for fear that
the disease might be catching.
From that point on
,
he
knew they would never make it as a couple.

I told
him I’d love to meet his mother and assured him I wasn’t afraid of catching anything.
It
was a ridiculous thought. So
,
since his mom had been having a good day, I went over to their house after dinner
one night
.

Molly was lounging on the
ir
porch swing, smoking
a cigarette when I walked up.
I knew from Chase that they were meeting up later to go to
a party
.
He’d apparently forgiven her for her lapse in judgment while high on X.

“Alright, Emily,” she asked, in that strange way that British people say hello.

“Hey Molly.
How are you?”
I asked, as
I knocked on the front door.

She shrugged. “Can’t complain. You here for board game night? We just finished dinner, so they’re setting everything up.”

Even though Molly and her family were staying in a different h
ouse
, I knew they all congregated most nights at Zack’s house if his mother was feeling well.

“Um,” I said, loo
king over at her, “I guess so.
Zack just wanted me to meet his mom.”

“Yeah, today’s a good day,” Molly said, with a look that said she’d seen her share of bad
days. “You’ll like Aunt
Lynne
.
She’s my favorite aunt.”

I smiled. I was just happy that Zack wanted me to meet her. It must mean I was
becoming
more than a summer fling to him, as well
. Of course
I didn’t want to think what that might mean in a few weeks when I had to go back to school
.

“Hey,” Zack
said, flinging the door open
and smiling widely at me. He pulled me into a hug, squeezing me against his chest. “I’m really glad you’re here
.” He seemed positively giddy. It must have been a really good day.

“You’re happy,” I said
, starting to feel giddy myself, al
most as if his
good
mood was contagious
.

He shrugged
but continued to smile. “Yeah, well, you know.”

I
laughed.
“Yeah, I do.” I wasn’t sure if we were talking about the same thing, bu
t I was glad to see him so unaffected, especially because it seemed genuine
.
It was a nice change
after a few rough days
.

Zack took my hand and led me to the living room where
Leo and Re
agan were
watching TV with
Jared
and two men who Zack introduced as his uncles, Mark and Tom
, who were just visiting for the week. I knew his aunts had taken leaves of absence from their jobs and left their husbands at home to be there for their sister for the summer
.
A few weeks earlier, I’d met Molly’
s sister Cat and her husband Simon who’d just been in town for two weeks. It seemed everyone in the family was going to make an appearance at the beach at some point that summer, and I knew it was to say goodbye, which was a completely morbid, if not accurate thought.