Broken & Damaged Love (12 page)

“Sorry.”

“Stay!”

“Are you ready?”

“Yes.”

And Frank realised he was. This was all moving so quickly, but he’d denied himself for so long he wanted to be who he was. And he wanted to be that person with Jake. No waiting. 

“I really can’t tonight. I want to, believe me. Is tomorrow OK?”

“Yeah.”

And Frank found his mouth being invaded one more time.

“Right. I really do have to go. Night Frank.”

“Night Jake,” said Frank, giving Jake one last peck.

As the door closed Frank took a place on the sofa and turned the TV on, knowing sleep would evade him.

He was so turned on and excited it’d be impossible. Besides, the night was still young. It wasn’t even eleven o’clock yet.

“Hey, I didn’t chase him away did I?” asked Pete as he came and sat on the sofa with Frank.

“No. No, he has work tomorrow.”

“Saturday job?”

“Weekend job. It helps pay the study fees.” Frank said glumly.

“Yeah, know that feeling. Sorry, I didn’t mean to walk in on you like that.”

“You weren’t to know.”

“I’m guessing it didn’t help though, so sorry.”

“Thanks. This is still new for me.”

“I gathered.”

“You did?”

“What? From the way you look like a startled rabbit every time he touches you in public? Nah.”

“Is it that obvious?”

“Only to weirdos like me, who notice people’s reactions. Trainee psychologist, remember?”

“Oh yeah.”

“You’ll get used to it, don’t worry. And it’s a lot easier these days so I hear. People are a lot more accepting of the LGBT crowd now. More than they used to be at least.”

“And how come you know so much about it?”

“My older brother’s gay.”

“Really? How did your parents take it? Has he even told them?”

“They’re pretty cool. They’re a bit ‘old age hippies’. Besides, they said they’d always known.”

“Wow, your brother’s lucky!”

The two spent hours talking about Frank’s issues with his dad, and comparing to Pete’s brother.

They ended the night with Pete offering to spend the next day and night away. He was volunteering the next day anyway, and would spend the night at his friend’s place again. It was what he’d half planned to do already, but he was just going to make sure he did that. Frank was just gobsmacked at his new friend’s kindness.

Frank was on tenterhooks all the next day as he waited for Jake to finish work. He’d gone shopping and bought some nice food and wine so they could have a romantic meal, candles included.

He’d even bought condoms, which was quite traumatic. He’d stopped in the supermarket, having found the right section, but was stunned by the amount of choice. He hadn’t got a clue which ones he should buy so he ended up with a few different packets, hoping Jake would know which to use. At least with self-serve checkouts he didn’t have to have the humiliation of an actual person handling them.

His shopping trip hadn’t taken very long, and Frank didn’t have anything else planned for the day, so he just got more and more worked up.

He tried to distract himself, but he couldn’t focus on his artwork or anything.  He tried cleaning his room again, but it was already spotless.

He had started to prepare dinner, and there was Beef Bourguignon cooking in the oven (thanks to a jar of sauce). And there was a toffee pecan roulade defrosting in his room.

He was showered and dressed. And still there was another hour to go before Jake was due to turn up.

He was trying his best to veg in front of the TV, but his mind kept whirring. What was he going to do? Would Jake be the ‘giver’? How should he act? Was it going to hurt? How should he start? Should he just let Jake lead the way?

But then what if Jake wanted to do something he didn’t? Was he going to have to put ‘him’ in his mouth? Would he like that? Did he want to even try? He had tried Googling some of his questions but it just scared him more.

As Frank was considering calling the whole thing off there was a knock at his door.

With wobbling knees and sweaty palms he opened it. An even more handsome Jake was standing there with a bottle of wine in his hand. He took a step into the room, closed the door and kissed Frank fully.

“Hello,” Jake breathed. “I’ve been wanting to do that all day.”

“Hi,” Frank replied before regaining the kiss.

His hard-on was instantaneous as he brought his body close to Jake’s. He could feel Jake’s own interest in return.

Their mouths collided as they both sought more and breathed each other in. The need which grew in them was almost too hot to handle. But it was Jake who broke off first.

“Ummm…can I put this down?” he asked holding up the wine bottle.

“Err…yeah, of course. Shit, I’ve got to go rescue dinner,” he exclaimed as he bolted out the door to the shared kitchen.

Fortunately it was just very hot and not burned. And the new potatoes were just a bit soft. He quickly dished up and took the plates into his room.

Jake had found some glasses and poured the wine, and had also lit the candles.

Frank put the plates down on the table (which had been cleared of art supplies). Jake was standing near Frank, and said hoarsely, “This looks lovely.”

He gave Frank a quick kiss before they sat down to eat. Jake guided the conversation, painfully aware of Frank’s agitation. As he began talking Frank relaxed a little.

They talked about how Jake’s day was and of mundane things. Frank was soothed by Jake’s dulcet tones, and was glad to let his mind be drawn away from what he was planning to do soon. He could listen to Jake talk forever.

“That was delicious. The best meal I’ve had in ages,” Jake declared as he wiped up the last of the sauce with a piece of crusty bread. “Thank you.”

“The pleasure’s mine.”

“It soon will be,” said Jake, his voice lowering a little more.

“So, do you want to..?”

“Shhh, no hurry. Let’s just go and sit on the sofa, OK? No pressure.”

Jake sat at one end and lifted his arm so Frank could snuggle up to him. Jake kissed the top of Frank’s head and stroked his arm.

“It just feels good to have you next to me. You don’t have to do anything more than this if you’re not ready.”

“Thanks.”

Frank wasn’t sure if it was Jake’s presence, the low lighting, the wine, or what, but he was starting to feel really relaxed.

“I'll bear that in mind.”

He moved enough so he could get a kiss.

The kiss got deeper and more passionate until Jake interrupted, “Let’s take this into the bedroom?”

He silently led Frank through, grabbing his jacket along the way.

“Are you OK to take some clothes off?” Jake asked as he peeled off his own shirt.

Frank drew in a deep breath as he gazed at Jake’s fine pecs. He suddenly felt ashamed of his own feeble body.

Sensing his hesitation Jake stepped closer again, “It’s OK.”

He pecked Frank’s lips with kisses as he undid each button of his shirt.

Frank was shy and excited all at once. With his shirt off, Frank found Jake’s lips trailing tiny kisses down his torso, exciting him.

Jake made sure to include Frank’s scar in his exploration.

Frank worried he was going to go down further, but the trail ended. Frank pulled him close, so he could feel Jake’s chest against his; the sensation of skin on skin sent him reeling into heaven as he sought his soon-to-be-lover’s mouth.

Jake guided them to the bed they were nearest to (guessing it to be Frank’s). He removed his trousers, and undid Frank’s belt for him, with his forehead against his.

Frank obliged by getting rid of his trousers, so the pair were stood in just their boxer shorts. Frank bit his lip in trepidation, but Jake gently guided him down onto the bed.

“We can just lie here together,” he soothed.

Frank laid next to him, each on their side facing one another.

Jake’s hand travelled slowly up and down Frank’s spine, sending shivers down it. Jake’s leg went over Frank’s as he brought him closer. He tried a querying soft pass of lips. Words weren’t needed. Frank’s reply was to kiss more.

Again their mouths met in warm, welcoming unison. With only a thin layer of fabric between them their erections were easily felt.

“Can…can I touch it?” Frank asked.

Jake’s hand left Frank’s back to guide his hand down to where he wanted to explore. Frank felt the cock through the cotton fabric. It sent thrills through him. He wanted more.

“Off!” he whispered.

They both fully stripped.

As they laid close together again Frank groaned as he felt Jake’s body in all its glory. He got a suck on his lips as Jake’s hand went down to Frank’s cock, making him cry out.

“Please. Jake,” he pleaded as if in pain.

He couldn’t handle this. He was going to cum before they’d begun. He pulled away quickly.

“Alright?” Jake asked.

“Yeah. Just wait a sec.”

“Too much?”

“I…I, you know. Don’t want to..!”

“Thank fuck for that, I thought you were freaking out!” he laughed.

It broke the tension and they both softly laughed together. Embarrassment set aside Jake rolled Frank onto his back.

“OK, let’s just get this out the way,” he declared as he lowered his mouth onto Frank’s cock.

Frank groaned louder and longer, but was unable to find the will to stop him this time. The feeling was just too good, and he wanted more. Jake’s head started going up and down his shaft and it was amazing.

He could feel the guy’s tongue licking up and down and around. It was intense. His hips started moving of their own accord, and before he knew it he was cumming in Jake’s mouth, crying out in ecstasy. Jake discreetly grabbed a tissue and spat out the contents.

“You don’t swallow?” Frank asked breathily.

“Sorry, nothing personal. I never have been able to.”

“No, I’m relieved actually.”

Frank hoped that meant he wasn’t expected to either.

Jake laid down next to Frank again and nuzzled his neck.

“So..?”

“You’re amazing! I know that’s what you want to hear, and it’s true.”

“Thanks, but I was actually wondering if you were up to returning the favour?”

Frank was suddenly aware of Jake’s erection.

“Oh. Umm…”

“Relax. You don’t have to.”

But Frank tentatively took hold of him with his hand.

“That’s it, you can do that!” Jake moaned with pleasure.

“Ah yeah!” as Frank’s hand moved more fluidly, in a tantalising up and down movement.

Feeling braver Frank nudged Jake until he was on his back. He carried on with his hand but then slowly lowered his head down. He licked up once. The satisfied groan he received spurred him on so he did it again, and again, and again.

He took Jake’s tip in his mouth, testing each step of the way. It felt kind of weird, but kind of good. He didn’t have much choice then as Jake’s hips thrust, and more of his cock went into Frank’s mouth.

He went with the flow, his hand still at the base, and moved with Jake as his hips carried on bucking, with Jake groaning. Frank’s mouth was filled with Jake’s knob as his head moved up and down deliciously. With a loud grunt Jake came. Frank felt him squirt into his mouth, almost making him gag. But he too found a tissue and rid himself of the salty fluid.

“Come here,” Jake commanded.

Frank found himself back in Jake’s arms as he laid back down. “I’m so proud of you!”

“I don’t think my father would agree with that.”

“Are you really thinking of your father right now? Or the guy you just sucked off?”

“Hmm…the wonderful guy who just blew me, I think,” he grinned.

“That’s better. You’re amazing, you know that?”

“No I didn’t. I just think you make me amazing.”

“How about we’re amazing together?” he asked, kissing Frank.

With that the phone started to ring.

“Ignore it,” Jake moaned, going in for another smooch.

“It might be important.”

“More important than me?” he pouted.

“Never.”

But the phone was persistent, so Jake begrudgingly released Frank from his arms.

“Hello?”

“Frank. Thank fuck! Can I come round?”

It was Tina and she was sobbing so much Frank could barely make out what she was saying.

“Shit. Are you OK? Of course, but what’s happened?”

“I’ll explain when I get there.”

And with that Tina hung up.

“Are you alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” remarked Jake as Frank put his phone down.

“It was Tina. She sounded really upset. She’s on her way round.”

“What now?”

“Yeah. I didn’t have much choice.”

“Fuck Frank,” huffed Jake.

“I know. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

Frank took a moment to gaze into his lover’s eyes and gave him a quick peck on the lips.

“I think I love you.”

Frank’s cheek got rubbed by Jake’s thumb.

“Good. I’m glad to hear it. I love you too. I’ve been in lust before, but with you it’s different. I’m lost in you.”

With one last snog Jake ruefully conceded, “I suppose we’d better get dressed before your friend gets here.”