Broken (29 page)

It was definitely blingy. It reminded me of one of the rings from my shoot. The crystals were bluish, white, very diamond-like. One square, surrounded by smaller ones.

“This is beautiful.” I couldn't stop staring at it. He grabbed my hand and led me out of the arcade. The wind of the city hit my face. It was then I remembered. I checked my phone. No answer from Winter. Once in the car, we headed across town. “Where are we going?”

“You'll see. What's your favorite restaurant again?” he asked.

“HQ.”

“What do you like on the menu?”

“Almost everything. My favorite might be the lasagna.”

“I dig.”

“We can go now, if you want to try it. We have to let the driver know it is in the other direction,” I said.

“I have to make a stop first.”

“Where?”

“Watch a lot of ‘Law & Order'?”

“Not really.”

“You are good at interrogation,” he said.

“Ha. Ha,” I pouted. It used to work like a charm. He scooted over to me and wrapped his arms around me. “Are you planning on starting college next semester?” I asked.

“Maybe.”

“We can go to school together. Mama met …”

“I know, our moms met at school, right?”

“Yeah.”

“My mother left me some insurance money. Aunt Glenda put it in an account for me. It has been there since I graduated. My friends, all the cats we met up with today.”

“Are they all off on break?” I asked.

“Jeff.”

“Your roommate,” I said.

“His father brought him a Porsche.”

“Is that what you want? A Porsche?” I asked. I could feel his demeanor change.

“No.”

“Then what is it?” I was patient.

“I wonder a lot about my father. Where is he? What is he doing? Am I like him? What if he came to look for me and now that my mother … what if he can't find me?”

“He left you. If he loved you, he should have come back a long time ago,” I said.

“Like your father. I met him for only months before he hated me.”

“I've known him my whole life and he hates me. Anyone who knows you would love you like I do. I tried when I thought you would never come back. I couldn't stop loving you. It just became bigger,” I said.

“The weirdest thing happened today after you left. Frenchy got very mad. She cursed Cara out! Then she told Cara to leave. French said she's never speaking to Cara again!” Sierra texted. It was odd how it was almost simultaneous to Frenchy's text: “Cara said something to me today about you that you probably should know. I told her to go home. Sierra and I are done. We are never speaking to that freak again,” Frenchy texted.

“The thing is, Milan.” Noel's head dropped. I brushed my hand down the back of his head then the back of his neck. I put my head to his. He looked up at me. “Aunt Glenda left me a trust fund. I didn't know.”

“It's okay.”

“No, it's not. Uncle Trevor said if I signed the papers for it, I have to leave and never come back.”

“Don't leave without me,” I said.

“I'm not.”

“Don't ever leave without me again,” I said. He kissed me on the cheek and pulled me into his chest. If I left with Noel, I knew I would never be welcomed back into the apartment.

“I don't have to take it. But there are people who need it.”

“Do you owe some money?”

“No! Homeless people, people starving in other countries. People in Haiti, people in Africa. Kids and families without running water.”

“So you're going to sign the papers. When we leave, that will be it for me and Daddy. All to give the money away!” I said.

“I'll get a job.”

“We have to go to school.”

“We'll figure it out, Milan. Money, it changes people. We don't need it.” He held my hand tightly. The car stopped. Noel got out of the car. I watched him walk around the front of the car through the tinted windows. He opened my door.

We were somewhere deep in Alphabet City, a place I didn't frequent too often. The building we pulled up to was old. It was two stories high, with strange wire over the windows. All the lights were on inside. The black iron gates in front were open. Noel held my hand while he led me inside. He gave his name to the woman at the front desk. It was as if she had suddenly recognized a long lost friend. She came around from the table to give Noel a hug and a kiss.

“This is Milan. Milan, this is Mrs. Parks,” he said. I put my hand out to shake. She approached me and wrapped her arms around me. I didn't have time to even think about it.

“Thank you so much. For some of these folks, it's been years since they had a gourmet meal. We appreciate anything and everything. Some nights, all we have is soup. Rarely do we get to serve meat. Last week, we had a surprise donation. We whipped up some tasty pasta and meat sauce,” she said.

“Tonight, everyone relaxes. Dinner is on us,” Noel said.

“God bless,” she said.

“When do we start serving?” I asked.

“Dinner has already been served, dear. We start at 6:30 p.m. on the dot. We have a lot of hungry folks. For most, this is the first and only full meal they've had all day.” I grabbed Noel's arm. I felt a sense of grief. How could this be? I didn't want to say anything.

“We put a few dinners aside for you.” Mrs. Parks pointed to a quiet table in the corner. As I walked through the dining hall, I took notice. I watched some people sit perfectly erect at the dining table, eating slowly and purposefully. Others were slumped over and ate like the food was going to expire in seconds—kind of like how Dimitri ate on the rare instances we sat down for a family dinner. While no face struck me as familiar, many seemed kind or even wise. We took a seat at a lunchroom-style table where four aluminum platters and two plates were neatly arranged.

“Close your eyes,” Noel said. He took my hands in his. He placed them on the plate. I could feel the air brush against my fingers as he moved the utensils around on my plate. I put my hands underneath the plate. It got slightly heavier. The smells slowly intoxicated me. I could feel the acids in my stomach rising. I felt around on the left side of my plate for a fork.

Noel put his hand on top of mine. He helped me scoop a fork full of food. He put his hands on my lips. I smiled. He helped me guide the fork into my mouth. Long before the food reached my lips, I knew what it was. The warm medley of pasta, sauce, vegan protein, mozzarella, and secret spice danced around my mouth. The lasagna from HQ.

“How did you get it here?” I asked.

“I ordered enough for everyone.” He smiled.

“From HQ?” I asked.

“From now on, I take care of you.” He brushed his fingers over the ring.

“Forever?” I asked. He looked away for a moment. I felt my heart skip a beat.

“You looked for me at school?” he asked me. Did he want to know if my love was forever too? Why else would he ask?

“Twice last semester.”

“How did you know I was there?” he asked.

“My best friend called. They said you worked at the library.”

“How safe. They give my info out to anyone.”

I just continued eating the food on my plate. I didn't want to look at him anymore. He wasn't going to promise forever. I had to remind myself not to get upset. I watched his hand slowly move across the table toward me. It fell upon my chin. He lifted it, so that I was looking in his eyes. He touched my left ear. I jerked away a little. No one touched me there. At least not since … a long time ago. I used to wear a hearing aid there. There was no use. Even with that, it was so hard to decipher.

“If I promise you, I don't want to break it. Milan, I will always do my best. I will love you forever, though.” I marveled at him for a moment. Why hadn't he just said that from the beginning? “It's good.”

“What!” I fed him a spoonful of macaroni and cheese. I watched him chew. How silly of me. I just missed him so. Even his chew.

“This mac-and-cheese is not as good as Aunt Glenda's. She'd put this one to shame.”

“You remember,” I said.

“I remember everything. Even this.” He touched my left ear again. I pulled his hand away. “Don't you wear it anymore?”

“I didn't like the way people looked at me. Don't talk about it anymore.” It was then I felt my cell vibrate. I hoped it was Winter.

“Anyone who doesn't get it, doesn't deserve to know you.” I sat on the other side of the table next to him. I cuddled my head in his neck. I closed my eyes and took a sweet sniff of him. I couldn't believe this was my day. I had wished for him for so long. I almost stopped believing I deserved him. I was the girl who had almost everything. But he came for me. “My voice is different now. Don't you want to hear it?”

“I never could hear it that well before. It's so low. I haven't had it checked in years. And I don't want it. I'm not going back.” He kissed me on my forehead. “Why do you keep asking me about it?”

“I don't know. I don't know what to think when I see you talking. I liked signing
to you
.”

“We can sign then, at home.” He held me tightly with one hand and fed me lasagna with the other.

Mrs. Parks walked over to us with a huge smile on her face. “How are you kids doing?”

“Nice,” Noel said.

“Great. Thank you,” I said.

“Has the dessert arrived?” Noel asked.

“Yes, it has,” Mrs. Parks used her index finger to make an exclamation point.

“Nice. I'll clean this up,” Noel said.

“Milan, would you like to help serve dessert? We're just getting started.”

“Okay. What is it?” I asked. Noel had a cute smirk on his lips.

“I found it two weeks ago, a small store on the West side. They only have desserts.” I kissed him on the cheek before I got up to go the kitchen. “It is only the closest to Aunt Glenda's peach cobbler I ever tasted.”

“No way!” I had never even eaten another peach cobbler since Mama.

“Oh, oh. I don't know Glenda. But somebody, some-bod-ee sure put their foot in that pie,” Mrs. Parks said. I found myself practically skipping behind Mrs. Parks all the way to the kitchen.

My mama took to making peach cobbler every Sunday once Noel came to live with us. It was his favorite. His mother had made him a peach cobbler on his birthday every year. Funny he hadn't mentioned her pie.

The kitchen was stark white. I kind of liked it, though. Everyone seemed to be jamming to some kind of music. They greeted me with smiles.

“I know you,” a woman putting the plates of pie on a large tray said to me.

“No.” I laughed as I pulled my hair forward to cover my face a little more. There was no Milan cover girl in me, not tonight.

“I'm gonna set you up right here, baby,” Mrs. Parks said. I stood there while Mrs. Parks brought me some plates, pies, forks, and a knife. My favorite part of this kitchen was the antique yellow and black four-burner stove. I'd never seen anything like it. It was right next to the pizza oven. I was more intrigued by this kitchen than the huge empty one at the apartment. Maybe never going back wouldn't be so bad. I could still see Nana and Grandpapa. And I could write Edna. I closed my eyes for just a few seconds and I was transported to the first Saturday afternoon I came home from skating and followed the smell of peach all the way into the kitchen to find my mother, as picture-perfect as a
Vogue
cover, in four-inch heels, accessorized to the nines with a dirty apron and spot of flour on her cheek. It was her smile that almost made me flutter my eyes open.

I started cutting the pies. I slowly started to recollect the happening of my current misery. It was Frenchy's text I saw first. Noel came over and took the tray from my counter to the dining hall. It was so weird. As I stared down at the six pies in front of me, I took up the knife to cut the next one into slices. It was then something tugged at me to check my phone. When I reached for it, it started to vibrate. With the phone in my hand, I looked up at Noel. And, there he was, smiling at me when he was supposed to be handing out pies. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. It was just for a few moments.

The first words in the text message were “CALL ME NOW PLEASE!!!!!”

It was back. The misery. “CALL ME NOW PLEASE!!!!! A publicist I know very well tells me she just got wind about something you and I know to be true. I couldn't deny nor discuss. I need to know how you want to handle this before we start damage control. My guess is she's not the only one who knows,” Lisa texted. I felt the knife in my hand drop to the ground. Suddenly, I felt very ill. I found myself walking. I held onto the door jamb at the front. I just needed a breath of fresh air.

I think my hands held onto the gates as I hit the floor. I needed to sit down for a few minutes.

“Winter, I need you,” I texted.

“Wheels up at 5,” Winter texted back.

“I'll sleep at the port if I have to.”

“I have an address we need to visit.”

“Why?” I asked.

“We have to see about a story I've come to know.”

“By tomorrow, it'll be my story you've come to know.”

“Milan, you have to call me back!” Lisa texted. I knew my secret was out.

“I don't have an answer. Can I apologize for the truth?” I texted.

“Clients may feel deceived. I want to be open and tell the TRUTH. Your version.”

“Tides are turning, my love. Believe me, it will come a time.” Winter texted.

I caught a glimpse of Noel's feet out of the corner of my eye. I couldn't tell him. I couldn't, not after today. He sat down next to me.

“What's wrong?” He wiped the tears from my eyes. “You don't want to do it anymore, we don't have to,” he said.

“It's not that. It's nothing.” I was so foggy.