BROKEN (13 page)

“Go on, the lot of you,” she shooed them inside.
 

Only Del lingered behind, eying her with concern.
 
“I need to ask you something, Jess, but I’m worried it will upset you.”

She smiled up at him.
 
“Don’t be silly, we’ve been friends a long time, you can ask me anything.”

He glanced back at the door before directing his gaze back to her.
 
“It’s just that…well, you know I have three sisters and they’re all married…with kids…so I’ve been around them when…”
 
He stuck his hands in his pockets and looked down at his feet.

“Oh, for Heaven sakes, out with it Del.
 
Is this a family thing?
 
Do you need time off to visit your sisters?”

“No, no it’s not that.”
 
He looked up at her again.
 
“What I’m trying to say is that I’ve been around my sisters when they were pregnant.”

Jessie’s smile broadened.
 
“One of your sisters is pregnant again?
 
That’s wonderful, Del!”

He let out a low groan.
 
“No, Jess, what I’m getting at is…you’ve got the same symptoms; the queasy stomach, weight loss, being tired all the time.
 
I thought…is it possible you’re pregnant?”

Jessie laughed, shaking her head.
 
“There’s no chance of that.
 
Kincaid
had a vasectomy four years ago.
 
It’s incredibly sweet of you to worry about me
,
but I promise it’s just a bug
,
not a baby.”
 
Instead of being relieved by the news she couldn’t possibly be pregnant, Del seemed saddened by it.

“I’m sorry to hear that.
 
I don’t mean about not being pregnant, it’s just that I know you wanted to have children someday.”

Jessie’s mood sobered.
 
“I do, or at least I did.
 
I guess sometimes you have to let go of one dream in order to have another.
 
I know you never cared much for
Kincaid
, but he’s changed and I really think he’s going to stay this time.”

“You’re right, I never liked him.
 
I didn’t think he was good enough for you, but even I have to admit there’s something different about him.
 
He treats you right, the way you deserve, and I believe he genuinely cares for you.”

“You don’t know how much it means to hear you say that.”

“All I ever wanted was for you to be happy, Jess.”

“I am happy, deliriously so.”

“I can see that.”
 
Del leaned down and kissed her on the cheek.
 
“I’d better get inside before Kincaid busts my jaw for spending too much time with his woman.”

Jessie grinned.
 
“It doesn’t hurt to keep him on his toes.”

“Easy for you to say, it’s not your bones he’ll be breaking.”

It wasn’t until Del turned to go into the house that they noticed
Kincaid
standing silently just outside the door.

Mitch only caught the tail end of the conversation but he’d heard enough to make his heart swell with love for Jessie.
 
It was also enough to squelch any remaining concerns he had about Del being a threat.
 
The man cared for Jessie, that was obvious, but her happiness was more important to Del than any dreams he had about being with her.
 
Mitch had to respect that, albeit grudgingly.
 

“Thanks for keeping Jess company while I finished helping Kenny.”
 

Del looked a little confused before he seemed to realize Mitch was sincere.
  “
I, uh, think I’ll go eat before it gets cold.”

Jessie held her breath as the two men just stood there staring at each other until
Kincaid
finally stepped away from the door and let Del pass.
 
Apparently they’d come to some silent agreement about her
,
and for that she was grateful.
 
Mealtimes had been somewhat uncomfortable with the two of them dancing around each other, exchanging hostile glares and grunting out replies if either of them was forced to speak to the other.
 
For whatever reason,
Kincaid
had called a truce and Del had accepted it.
 
Yes, she thought, things just might work out after all.

“We need to go, Jess,
 
or we’ll be late for your appointment.”

Jessie popped the last piece of toast in her mouth, followed by a sip of tea.
 
“It’s barely eight o’clock, how did you manage to get an appointment this early?
 
I didn’t think they even opened until nine.”

Mitch picked up her plate and took the cup she offered.
 
“I made the appointment yesterday.”

“I should have known.”

“I told you I’d take care of you.
 
Wait here while I put these in the kitchen.”

Jessie laughed when he emerged from the house a few minutes later with her purse dangling from his wrist.
 
“That’s quite a fashion statement, Kincaid.”

He
shoved it into her hands.
 
“Just take it before Hank sees me.
 
God knows I’d never hear the end of it.”

She managed to make it to the bottom of the stairs before a wave of nausea hit her.
 
Clamping her hand over her mouth, Jessie made a mad dash around the corner of the house and promptly threw up the meager portion of food in her stomach.
 
It was several minutes before she realized
Kincaid
was beside her, one hand holding her hair, the
other gently rubbing her back.
 
With an embarrassed smile, she stood up and accepted the handkerchief he handed her.

He tucked a stray curl behind her ear.
 
“Feel better now?”

“Not much, but I’ll survive.”

With
Kincaid’
s help, she was able to get to the pickup without falling down.
 
Weak from tossing up everything she’d eaten in the past few days, her legs were wobbly and uncooperative and she felt as if every ounce of energy had been zapped from her body.
 
She was glad
Kincaid
had made the appointment for this morning because she wasn’t
sure
she
would
have any strength left at all if this went on much longer.

An hour later, Jessie was being shuffled through the inner sanctum of the medical facility and into a room.
 
Dressed in nothing but the thin cotton gown the nurse had given her, she perched on the edge of the examination table to wait for her doctor.
 
Unconsciously, her hand moved to her belly.
 
What Del said that morning was true.
 
She did want children of her own and she
would
have given just about anything to bear
Kincaid
’s child.
 
But he’d made it perfectly clear he didn’t want them and had taken steps to ensure he
would
never be surprised by an unwanted pregnancy.

“I wouldn’t be a good father,” he’d told her.
 
“I
would
be gone more than I’m home, leaving my wife to manage the child’s care alone.
 
It wouldn’t be fair to her or the child.
 
Right or wrong, the truth is I could never make the commitment it takes to have a family.”

Jessie had smiled in a desperate attempt to mask her disappointment.
 
“I guess the good news is that we won’t have to spend a fortune on birth control.”

A light tap on the door and the appearance of Dr. Stewart brought her back to the present.
 
“Hello, Jessie, it’s been quite awhile since your last visit.”

“You know me, Liz, I have to be bleeding or near death to come in.”

Elizabeth Stewart had been her doctor for as long as she could remember.
 
Jessie’s mother and father had often invited Liz and her husband to the ranch for barbecues and she’d gone to school with the Stewart’s two sons.
 
Even considering their long history, Jessie had a deep aversion to illnesses and stubbornly refused treatment until she had to be dragged in.
 
 
 

Liz studied the chart for a moment before setting it aside to take Jessie’s temperature.
 
“Your young man tells me you’ve been throwing up everything you eat for several days now.”
 
She grinned when Jessie’s reply came out as nothing more than a mumble.
 
“He also said you’ve had a few dizzy spells along with a serious lack of energy.
 
He suggested I check to make sure you’re not anemic.”

As soon as the thermometer was pulled out of her mouth, Jessie started downplaying all the symptoms.
 
“I’m tired because this bug is slowing me down
,
and the dizzy spells happened because I stood up too fast.
 
As for being anemic…”

“Adam said you
would
argue about it and instructed me not to listen to a word you say.”

“
What?
 
You’re taking his side after all the years we’ve known each other?”

“Hush and sit still while I take your blood pressure.
 
He seems like a very nice young man and he’s really worried about you.
 
And I’m not taking sides, but given your history of resisting medical attention, I have to agree some tests are in order.”
 
She removed the band from around Jessie’s arm.
 
“Blood pressure is normal at least.”

“What do you think it is?”
 
Jessie asked after Liz had examined her ears, nose, and throat.
 

“I’m not sure.
 
There doesn’t seem to be any infections, no redness, eyes are clear.
 
Have you and Adam been practicing safe sex?
 
Because if I had to guess, I’d say you were pregnant.”

“The safest method possible," she sighed.
 
"
Kincaid
had a vasectomy four years ago.
 
And before you ask, he’s the only man I’ve been with,
ever
, so it’s impossible for me to be pregnant.”

“Still, I’ll have some blood drawn and have them run a pregnancy test along with a few others just to be sure.
 
It’s highly improbable
,
but there is a slim chance his tubes grew back together.”

Jessie refused to believe it.
 
“Liz, we’ve been together for three years.
 
Surely I
would
have gotten pregnant before now if that’s what happened.
 
No, I’ve got a virus or stomach flu, that’s all.”

After the nurse had drawn a few vials of blood, Jessie dropped down onto a chair and waited for Liz to return with the results.
 
Logic told her it wasn’t possible to be carrying
Kincaid
’s child, but her heart ached for it to be true.
 
Even though he’d been very adamant about not having children before, things had changed between them.
 
They were much closer than they
had
ever been and he seemed happy at the ranch and with her.
 
Maybe, just maybe he’d change his mind about having a baby too.
 

When Liz finally returned, Jessie was sitting primly in the chair, torn between fear and hope over what the tests revealed.
 
Liz pulled her chair over to Jessie’s.
 

“You look scared to death.”

“I am.
 
Just…tell me, Liz.
 
Am I pregnant?”

“Yes, and based on when your last cycle was, I’d say you’re about three weeks along.
 
A pelvic exam will be necessary
,
and of course I’ll need to get you on some pre-natal vitamins.
 
Adam was right about you being anemic which, combined with the pregnancy, made you feel even more run down.
 
I know this is unexpected and you’re a little overwhelmed right now, but I have to ask.
 
You aren’t considering terminating this pregnancy
,
are you?
 
I mean, you mentioned that Adam didn’t want children
,
but I want you to know there are other alternatives.”

Jessie stared at her in horror.
 
“No!
 
I
would
never…I just couldn’t, not my own child!
 
Liz, I love
Kincaid
with all my heart but there
is
nothing he could say or do that would make me get an abortion.”

“Even if he leaves you?”

Jessie b
linked back the sting of tears
.
 
“Even if he leaves me.
 
I want this baby, and if
Kincaid
doesn’t feel he can handle being a father
,
then I’ll raise our child on my own.”

“For your sake, and the baby’s, I hope he stays.
 
Whatever happens, you know I’ll be here for you.”

“I know that, thank you.”

“Well,” Liz stood up, “let’s get the examination over with.
 
Will you tell him right away?”

Jessie rose wearily.
 
“No, I need time to think about it first.
 
If he asks, just tell him about the anemia and that you gave me a prescription for it.”
 

Her hand moved protectively over her
abdomen
.
 
How was it possible to be so happy and yet utterly miserable at the same time?

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
               
***

Mitch pulled the covers up to Jessie’s waist then sat down on the edge of the bed next to her.
 
“You’re sure it’s just anemia and a little bug?
 
What about the dizziness?”

"I told you, I have a slight ear infection and it threw me balance off.
 
It’s nothing to worry about, I promise.”