Bridge of Mist and Fog (18 page)

The news on the TV said they were expecting a foot of snow out of this storm. She fell asleep to the sound of wind whistling around her door and windows.

In Airy’s dream she was walking through a blizzard. She was barefoot and freezing cold and the trees were trying to send her a message, but because of her chattering teeth she couldn’t hear them. A face loomed out of the shadows--Wolf, and he was smiling. Waking suddenly she was surprised to see her door wide-open, snow drifting along the carpet. She jumped up to close it and then mopped up the snow with the extra towels in the bathroom. When she saw the footprint she let out a scream. It was a boot print way bigger than Fehin’s foot and it was right next to her bed. Whoever had opened that door had stood next to her bed while she slept. She shivered violently, pressing her fingers into her eyes to stop the tears. She moved to the door and turned the extra lock, latching it securely.

In the kitchen making tea she wondered why she hadn’t awakened. She had assumed the dream had to do with Fehin being gone. Even when he was at his sickest she felt protected with him around. But that footprint was real which meant that someone large had been looking down on her while she slept. It had to be Wolf. When she brought the cup to her lips her hand shook so badly that she spilled hot liquid on her leg.

The rest of the night was spent worrying about Wolf breaking her door down. Finally her mind shifted, going over the past months. She tried hard not to but the tears came as she recalled the joy she felt every morning when she woke to see Fehin’s smiling face. In her mind’s eye he ran his fingers through his mussed hair, smoothing it and pushing it back off his face—a morning ritual that she’d grown accustomed to watching. His sleepy moss-colored eyes always followed her as she rose from the bed, his husky, ‘good morning’ brightening her day. Somehow these simple gestures made her feel wanted and loved. They had never moved past the few kisses they’d shared, but she’d sensed that what they felt for each other would be expressed in a deeper way when it was time. How could she have been so wrong about him? What would she say the next time she spoke with her parents? The idea of admitting that they’d been right filled her with dismay.

In the morning Airy felt exhausted, her thoughts muddled and confused. Some part of her had hoped that Fehin would come back but in the cold morning light she knew this wasn’t going to happen. She wondered if he was on his way home. Would she ever see him again? But then anger replaced these softer thoughts and she stormed around the room to collect her things, throwing her clothes roughly into the bag. She hated him right now. Outside wind began to rage and a minute later sleet pelted the windows so hard she thought they might break. When she looked out she saw a shadowy figure lurking at the bottom of the stairs but when she moved to get a better view there was no one there.
My mind’s playing tricks on me,
she thought, but the fear had lodged inside her stomach making her feel weak.

By the time she finished packing her mind had calmed. When she opened the door sun was peeking through the bare branches. Snow had drifted around her door and there was a pile of sleet melting on the window ledge. For a moment she wondered if Fehin had been right about her moods and what they could bring, but then she laughed it off, carefully making her way down the stairs and toward the office to check out.

Caught up in her thoughts she didn’t notice the dark-haired figure watching her from under the trees at the side of the motel.

Airy found an ATM and withdrew more money, cursing Fehin for stealing hers. She wasn’t sure if this was the last of it or if her parents would continue to support her. If she called them right now and told them what was happening she was positive they would deposit money into her account immediately. They would dearly love to hear about Fehin’s recent obnoxious behavior.

She shook her head trying to imagine getting a job. It the amount of homeless was any indication there weren’t enough jobs to go around. She walked the short distance to the bus station and bought a ticket for Milltown. At least there she had Storm and Carla to count on. It wasn’t a direct ride and would take a couple of days to get there. Flying would have been easier but the idea of it scared her too much. And besides she didn’t have near enough money for it.

On the bus she wondered why she kept having a prickling sensation on the back of her neck. Was this some new ability she hadn’t figured out? She turned once to see if someone was watching her but everyone in the seats behind looked perfectly normal. There was only one guy with his hoodie up whose face wasn’t exposed. She turned back and tried to concentrate on the future and what to do, but after groping her way blindly through her tangled thoughts she settled on a nap instead.

***

By the time the bus rolled into Milltown Airy was certain she was being stalked. The prickling feeling had grown stronger during the trip and several times when the bus stopped and she got off she’d felt as though someone was tailing her. But whenever she turned there was no one there. It was eerie and disturbing.

She hailed a taxi and gave the driver Carla’s address and then settled back for the ride.

“Where’s Fehin?” Carla asked after they’d greeted one another.

“He’s gone home.”

“Gone home? I thought you were together.”

Airy sighed, following the older woman into the house. “So did I.”

“Airy, you look exhausted. Why don’t you go take a shower and I’ll fix us something to eat. And then you can tell me all about it.”

Airy carried her bag into the bathroom and pulled out some clean underwear and another sweater. These jeans would have to do since she had no others.

As the steaming water poured over her body she thought about why she was here. It hadn’t been her intention to foist herself on Carla. She wondered, for the millionth time, why she couldn’t figure things out for herself.

In the living room dressed in clean clothes she felt somewhat better. The apartment was cozy and warm and Carla’s familiar face was comforting.

After Carla brought out a plate of sandwiches and placed them on the table she turned to Airy. “I don’t want to pry into your life,” she said, “but last I knew you and Fehin were working on a plan. Can you tell me what happened?”

Airy picked up a half of the chicken salad sandwich and took a bite. “He doesn’t love me. He told me something had closed down in him. I think it’s because of the illness but I don’t know—he said that’s why he had to go home.”

“I got a message not too long ago from Gertrude via the Internet. God knows how she manages it but every once in a while I get an e-mail from her.” Carla smiled. “In this one she told me Fehin decided to remain here. She said he’d been having doubts but that Gunnar set him straight.”

“How do you get messages from the future?”

Carla shook her head and threw her hands up in the air. “I have no idea but I think it’s something to do with the druid. Maybe she tells him what she wants to say and then when he’s in this timeline he writes me an e-mail?”

“Gunnar has e-mail?” Airy laughed. “That is so weird.”

Carla chuckled. “It is kind of strange, I agree. Unfortunately I can’t send messages back. I miss Gertrude so much.” Carla took a bite of a sandwich, her gaze going into the distance.

When the door opened a few minutes later, revealing a young blonde-haired girl Carla jumped up to greet her, hugging her close before asking, “How did it go?”

“Oh, fine,” she said, her attention going to Airy. “Who are you?” she asked.

“Airy this is my daughter, Fanciful.”

“Fan,” the girl corrected. “Hi Airy. Are you related to Mom’s weird friend, Gertrude?”

“No, I’m…”

“Airy is Fehin’s friend,” Carla interrupted. “They both go to the college in Milltown.”

Fan looked her over, twirling one blond braid. She seemed about ten, the same age as Airy’s brother. Carla hadn’t said a word about her. And where was her father? There was nothing in the bathroom to indicate another person lived here.

Carla seemed nervous, glancing from one to the other. “Fan do you have homework?” she finally asked.

“Some. Should I do it before dinner?”

“That would be a good idea. Airy and I have some things to discuss. I’m heating up lasagna.”

Fan smiled. “Yum. See you later, Airy,” she said, skipping away. A second later there was the sound of a door closing.

“I didn’t know you had a daughter.”

“She stays with her father half the time. We’re divorced.”

“Oh.” Airy wasn’t sure what to say to that—was it good or bad that they were divorced?

“It was amicable,” she added, noticing Airy’s expression. “We’re great friends. But Airy, you have to careful around her. She doesn’t know anything about the other worlds.”

“I won’t say anything.”

“Now where were we? Oh yes, I was telling you what I heard from Gertrude. I bet you Fehin’s on his way to Milltown right now. What about school? Are you going back?”

“I’m not sure.”

“The semester is just about over. The holidays are coming. But you could start after the New Year. The idea of you wandering around the city disturbs me. You have no idea what goes on in the streets these days. Luckily I have a job but there are so many who don’t. Did you learn about the government here in one of your classes?”

“A little. It changed in 2020?”

“That’s right. And so far no one has the will to do anything about it. Of course people like me continue living as we always did but so many are without a home and unable to get work. I do what I can but mostly it seems somewhat futile.”

“I don’t understand. Can’t you elect good people so the government takes care of the poor?”

“There are no more elections. The congress is appointed now and big business does the appointing. Their bottom line is always money.”

Airy frowned. “I hope I’m not supposed to fix this.”

“You and Fehin talked about a bridge. Maybe the bridge is to change the system. I worry about my daughter and what this world will be like when she grows up.”

Airy stared into the distance. Without Fehin she didn’t want to contemplate anything. From what she’d seen out the bus windows life was extremely difficult unless you had money or a good job. She thought of the Otherworld and how easy life was. Because of her parents’ narrow-mindedness she had no desire to go back. But living here without Fehin in her life made her feel very empty.

Dinner was awkward with Carla filling the silences with idle chatter. She seemed nervous that Airy would betray something. Airy wondered why she cared so much but chalked it up to being an overly protective mother. When dinner was over Airy helped clean up the kitchen and then gathered her pack.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Carla asked.

“Motel?”

“No.” Carla shook her head. “You’re staying here tonight. Tomorrow I can help you make a plan. You have a lost look about you.”

Airy laughed. “I do feel at loose ends. I’ll just stay one night if that’s okay.” She glanced around and saw that Fan had gone back to her room. “I came here with the idea of a destiny that included Fehin, and now…”

“You don’t know where he is or even if the two of you will be able to mend what’s broken. I understand, sweetheart. I do think school would be safe and give you something to focus on until he finds his way back to you. From what Gunnar told Gertrude, Fehin’s in a very dark place—‘a dark night of the soul’ place, if you know what I mean.”

Airy frowned. “But why? He’s alive. Wouldn’t he be grateful for that?”

“He’s going through something, Airy. You have to give him time. If he loved you before I’m sure he still does. But he needs to discover this on his own. Don’t give up on him--he’s a very special boy.”

35

Fehin hung around the beaches of San Diego until the police rousted him. There were many of them that day the police arrived with guns and tazers. They had nowhere to go and ended up in jail for a night before the police let them out. The sun and the sound of the ocean had healed some of the hollowness but the pain lingered the longer he stayed in this country. He wondered if this dark state of mind came from him or others. He’d never been very good at blocking his mind but this—this was what he’d call a full-blown depression. He should have forced Gunnar to take him back to Thule.

He wasn’t ready to see Airy, knew that he couldn’t give her anything until he felt whole again, if he ever did. Someone he spoke with on the beach, a kid with dreadlocks who carried a surfboard, asked him if he’d been in the military and then mentioned some condition called PTSD. He suggested that Fehin find a shrink. Fehin had to ask what that was and then told the guy he didn’t have enough money for such a thing.

In truth he had no money at all and ended up on street corners begging with all the rest of them. The small change people gave him kept him alive. It was months later that he got a job in a nursery working under the table for five dollars an hour. He was good with plants and did well until the owner accused him of stealing. He hadn’t, but he knew who had. He let the man fire him instead of telling the truth since the employee who’d taken the money was in dire need. Fehin would never have turned him in.

Making a living was just about impossible even for people who were well educated. He’d read about the days when someone could start a small business and have it grow and succeed. But now there was no support for small business and no niche in which they could flourish aside from the restaurants and even those were becoming more and more automated. People had nowhere to work, no place to live and no money. When the police came along he and the rest of them scuttled into the shadows like rats.

More months went by as he tried to stay afloat. He hardly noticed the holidays as he slunk into his hidey-holes with the other indigents. He’d begun to take some drugs since they were passed around the streets like candy. They did seem to put him out of his misery for a while. In January he contracted a fever that lasted a month before he could shake it. In February he jumped a boxcar and headed cross-country, jumping off somewhere in Texas. He found the homeless camps and settled in, making a few dollars by begging. But the drug community that hovered along the edges of these places finally sucked him in and then devoured him whole. And by the time he resurfaced it was June. Airy’s face had begun to appear in his mind. He had to kick his habit.