Bridge of Mist and Fog (13 page)

For the next month she concentrated on the work her professors had provided her with, hoping she could pass the tests they gave her when she returned. The time went by more quickly now that she had studying to do, her grandfather’s computer allowing her to get the lengthy e-mails the college sent. Most of the textbooks and reading material for her literature and psychology classes she could access online. There were only two classes she knew she would fail. Math was one of them and the World History she shared with Fehin was another.

But at night alone in her bed her mind wandered down twisting paths that didn’t lead neatly to the conclusions she’d made. Many times she woke with tears on her face. If Fehin wasn’t the boy she was linked with, then who was it?

***

“Jesus, Mary and Joseph, it’s good to see you!” Storm cried when Airy walked into the dorm room in March. A second later Airy was crushed in her friend’s arms.

“I thought you didn’t hug,” she laughed when Storm released her.

Storm made a funny face, her mouth quirking. “Special circumstances,” she said. “I wondered if you’d be back at all. Fehin said…”

Airy stared. “You talked to him?”

“Yeah. When he got back he filled me in on the broken leg and all. The snow up there must have been treacherous for you to fall hard enough to do so much damage.”

Airy stared at her dorm mate. “Fehin was lying, Storm. It didn’t happen like that.”

“So how did it happen?”

“He tried to kill me.”

23

Fehin had tried several times to contact Airy since their one telepathic conversation but she had not responded. He didn’t know what to think. It was March now and he was sure the cast was off. She must be coming back to school soon. When he walked across campus he could hear birds singing for the first time in several months. The trees had catkins now. The down jacket he’d bought was too warm and he pulled it off and stuffed it into his pack. Without Airy his world had narrowed and dulled. He felt heavy and listless and his grades had suffered from his inability to concentrate.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw a flash of red and turned to see a willowy girl disappearing around the corner of the building ahead of him. Although the hair was longer now he was positive it was Airy. No one else he’d ever met had hair that particular shade between red and gold. He took off running, slipping in the mud as he rounded the corner. She was not far ahead and he noticed the uneven gait, a reminder of what he’d allowed to happen.

When he felt the magnetic pull he was positive. “Airy!” he called out.

She turned, her eyes going wide when she saw him. And then she limped away as though he was a leper.

“Wait!” he called but she’d already slipped inside the building. When he opened the door she’d disappeared.

Fehin was unable to move for at least a full minute, his heart contracting painfully. Had she decided to avoid him without even telling him why? Her parents must have finally convinced her that he couldn’t be trusted. When tears welled he angrily wiped them away. At this moment he wished he’d never met her.

It was later in the afternoon when he saw Storm coming out of a classroom next to his. As she walked by he stepped out in front her, nearly tripping her in the process.

“Jesus, Fehin. What do
you
want?”

“I need to talk to you.”

Storm shook her head and then looked around. “I can guess why,” she said. “If I were you I’d give up on her. She seems convinced that you’re a bad guy.”

“Do you agree?”

Storm seemed surprised by the question. “I…well, if you must know I think she’s wrong.”

“Did you tell her that?”

Storm laughed. “I told her you were too much of a goober to do anything like that.”

“Not sure what that word means but I have a good idea,” Fehin said, looking down. “I have to talk to her.”

Storm stared at him, her thickly lined eyes narrowing as she thought. “I don’t know what to tell you,” she finally said. “She’s stubborn.”

“I could sneak into your room. It’s the only place she can’t run away from me.”

“Don’t tell her I told you, but she’ll be in the library tonight between six and seven. Good luck,” she added before heading away down the hall.

Fehin walked into his next class feeling slightly more hopeful. He spent the rest of the day practicing what to say to her.

***

It was 6:30 when Fehin found Airy in a cubby, her head bent over a thick book she’d pulled from the shelves. He’d wandered through the library for nearly twenty minutes before discovering where she was. When he touched her shoulder she started, and when she saw who it was she pressed her body away from him as though he was about to hit her.

“Are you afraid of me?” He didn’t need to ask; he could see it in her eyes.

“Go away,” she hissed.

“Airy, at least have the courtesy to explain. The last time we were together we loved each other. How could things change so fast?”

“I never loved you, Fehin. I just thought I did. It was silly and childish. Now I know who you are.”

“And who am I?” he whispered.

Airy stared at him for a moment and then turned away. “You know who you are. Now please leave me alone.”

“I like your hair,” he said. “It’s grown.”

Airy ran her fingers through the chin length curls and for a moment he could see the hint of a smile but then she stiffened, her eyes going dark. “I don’t trust you, Fehin. We can’t be together. I seriously want you to stay away from me. If you don’t I’ll contact the school authorities and tell them you’re stalking me.”

The cold look she gave him after the harsh words was like an ice pick stabbing into his chest. He watched her for another moment and then turned and walked away. He fought the tears that welled as he headed toward the entrance but by the time he was outside again he had to stop to wipe them away. He shook his head, furious at his own weakness and also the expectations that had now been dashed for good.

24

Ary tried to stop the tears but there was nothing she could do. Her gaze followed Fehin as he walked toward the front of the library and then she put her head on the desk and gave over to her grief.

His face had been so full of pain, his eyes filling with tears when she told him she didn’t trust him. And while she was saying the hurtful words her insides were telling her something very different. She could feel the connection between them in her belly as though there was a bungee cord stretching more and more the further he moved away. Soon it would break altogether. The words in the book blurred when she tried to continue reading and so she gave up and replaced it on the shelf where she’d found it. She gathered her materials together and left the library.

“Did you tell him I’d be there?” she demanded, once she was back in her dorm room.

Surprised, Storm turned from where she’d been placing a disk in her CD player. “I might have. So what? You need to at least explain your position, Airy. It isn’t fair to just cut him loose like that.”

“He’s the one who hurt me, Storm! He nearly killed me!” Airy sat down heavily on her bed and pressed her fingers into her temples.

“And you think this, why?”

Airy wanted to scream but she held it back. She couldn’t reveal the true horror of what had happened and the background that went along with it.
Wolf was a figment of my imagination,
she told herself, rubbing her temples. “Because…because…”

“Because your parents and grandparents said so? I have a hard time seeing Fehin in this role. He’s a lot of things but cruel is definitely not one of them.”

The feeling was back in the pit of her stomach, the one that demanded attention. Her insides were not in agreement with her mind. “But he…he…”

Storm placed the CD player on the desk and then sat down on the bed next to Airy. “When I first talked to you on the phone after the incident you said it was some other creepy dude who kidnapped you. You even described him and what you described bore no resemblance to Fehin. What happened between that conversation and when you got back to college?”

Airy barely remembered talking to Storm. She must have still been under anesthesia. The question was a good one because right now she wasn’t sure of anything. “I don’t know,” she finally answered.

Airy slept badly that night, waking to the claustrophobia and abject terror of being gagged and stuck in that lightless pit. She remembered in detail the voice of her attacker, the grunts he made. His laugh. There was no way Fehin could duplicate that voice. She should have trusted herself. Her parents and grandparents were wrong.

***

Before her first class the next morning Airy called her grandparents in Scotland and when Finna answered she began to cry. “Nana, can you talk to my parents about Fehin? They think he’s some kind of monster.”

“Airy, we don’t see Harold and Maeve very often now. I can try and talk with them but the last time we spoke they seemed very convinced that he was not who he pretends to be. They mentioned what happened to you up in Halston. It sounded quite horrific. I can understand their worry.”

“It wasn’t him, Nana. It was his half-brother, Wolf. Ask MacCuill to talk to them. Corra told me that Fehin and I are linked. Well, she said a boy, but I know the boy is Fehin because of how I feel inside when I’m around him and also he’s the one from the island…I feel terrible because I believed them and now I’ve hurt him really badly and….”

“Slow down, sweetheart. If you want me to speak with MacCuill I’ll do so, but you know how stubborn your mother can be.”

“Thanks, Nana. I love him.”

“Airy, you’re only sixteen. Loves will come and go.”

“You’re wrong. Fehin and I have a destiny together. Corra will tell you.”

“I’ll do what I can but I don’t promise anything.”

Airy hung up the phone feeling a tiny bit better. Now she had to talk with Fehin and that would not be so easy.

In her dorm room Airy put on her favorite blouse and a clean pair of jeans and then fluffed out her hair. She didn’t wear any make-up because she knew Fehin didn’t like it. Her hands were shaking as she practiced what to say. She didn’t know where to find him. Their paths rarely crossed now that she’d dropped World History.

Just as she was about to leave the room her cell phone rang. It was her Halston grandparents’ number and for a moment she didn’t answer. But then she swiped across the screen and said hello.

“Sweetheart, we miss you,” Grace said. “How are things going?”

“Good,” she answered warily.

“Airy, your mother called me today from Scotland. She said you’re considering….”

Already? It was only an hour since she spoke to Finna. They sure didn’t waste any time. “I know what she said,” Airy interrupted. “Grandma, I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but you’re wrong about Fehin. I should never have listened to you in the first place. Sorry, but I have to go. I need to apologize to him.” Airy hit the ‘end call’ button, her heart pounding. She’d never hung up on her grandmother before. She hurried down the hall, and then limped carefully down the stairwell, her mind on Fehin. Her Modern Literature class began in ten minutes and when it was over she planned to search until she found him.

25

Fehin packed his backpack with all his clothing and a few favorite books and then left campus and headed to the bank. He closed out his account and stuck the money into a belt he wrapped around his waist underneath his shirt.

At a gas station he purchased a map of the country and headed west along the road leading to the main thoroughfare. There was no reason to stay at college. Without Airy’s friendship he felt like an empty shell, scooped out and hollow. He’d never felt this kind of pain in his life and he didn’t understand what to do with it. Would it go away?

The decision to leave had been made the night in the library, the look on Airy’s face giving him all the information he needed. She didn’t trust him or care about him anymore. That night he’d been in so much pain he thought he might die from it, lying in his bed curled into a little ball and trying to keep Brent from hearing him cry. By morning he’d made up his mind.

He’d considered contacting Gunnar and arranging with the druid to sail him back home to the future, but the thought of Thule and his life there held nothing for him anymore. No, he had to discover who he was and what destiny he could possibly have without Airy. And besides, he dreaded the druid’s wrath. The depths of his hurt could not tolerate another nasty word or look from Gunnar.

After asking around he found out what he needed to know about hitchhiking. It was simple enough to stick his thumb out as he walked. When a car stopped Fehin looked up in surprise. It had been nearly an hour of walking in the rain with cars whizzing by him. He’d pretty much given up hope.

“Where ya goin’?” the middle-aged man asked, pulling his Honda Civic over to the side of the road. He had a friendly roundish face, brown hair and blue eyes.

“West,” Fehin replied.

“Hop in. I’m heading to Interstate 90. How far ya goin’?”

Fehin shook his head. “Not sure. I’ll know when I see it.”

“Are you a student at the college?”

“I was.”

“Flunk out or just decide to call it quits?”

“Called it quits.”

The man said his name was Jim and that he was a traveling salesman. “Not much call for us anymore,” he confided with a grin. “I guess I’m due to become obsolete. Everyone buys from the Internet now.”

As he chattered on Fehin tuned out, his gaze going to the rural scenery flying by. Even this far out he saw tents set up, people of all ages and colors hitching rides or begging along the road--so many children without parents and so many people out of work.

By the time they’d driven through New York and into Pennsylvania Fehin couldn’t take the chatter another second. When they stopped for gas he thanked Jim, got out and pulled his pack after him.

He walked into the closest town and found a place to eat and then asked about a cheap motel someplace within walking distance. After that he made his way to the motel and booked a room. In the room he took a shower and switched on the TV and then quickly switched if off--too much noise and confusion. What he wanted now was the peace that came from walking along the beach, taking care of his animals and staring out at the dark water that went on forever. But Thule itself and having to talk about all this was a burden he couldn’t tolerate right now.