Brides of Idaho (60 page)

She watched Rudy closely the next few days. He and Freddy chopped wood and then disappeared into the toolshed. She’d glanced in a few days ago and saw they were making a cart.

He’d said nothing about his feelings, but on the other hand, he’d not saddled his horse and ridden away.

She took that as a good sign.

Supper was almost ready. A trickle of men continued to pass through. Men determined to get in on the gold rush. She set the table and opened the door to welcome the guests.

Three filed by and dropped in their coins.

A fourth stopped in front of her. She glanced up to see what the man wanted and gasped. “Pa.”

“Yup. Your old pappy’s back.” He nodded as if it was the best news in the world.

“Hi, Pa. No need for you to pay. You’re my father.” She waved him in.

Rudy heard her, and his gaze drifted from Pa back to her, watchful.

She smiled. Rudy looked about ready to tell Pa it was time to start acting like a father. She lifted one shoulder. She’d long since given up expecting anything fatherly from him.

As she took care of her guests, she studied Pa. A big man with a hearty laugh. Black whiskers with a touch of gray along the edges. He was no longer a young man. It kind of surprised her to realize it.

The others finished and left the room. Pa lingered.

“You stay and visit.” Rudy carried away the dishes to the kitchen, and he and Freddy started washing them.

“Jo, girl, I done got your letter saying your sisters got married. I take it they live nearby.”

Funny how he seemed to get a letter from her, but they never got one from him. “They do.” She told him about Glory and Levi’s mission and the log house Trace and Mandy had built.

“Good to hear. Good to know you’re close by to keep an eye out for them.”

Joanna bristled. “They don’t need me to watch over them anymore.”

“Girl, as the oldest, you’re responsible for them.”

“You came all the way here just to tell me that?”

“Nope. In fact, I kind of figure now they have husbands maybe you can move on.”

She kind of figured the same thing.

“You were always a good one to run a house. I figure you and me could join up. You can come with me and run my house now.”

If she ever wondered whether she had her father’s wanderlust, his offer convinced her otherwise. “Pa, I plan to settle down someplace.”

“That a fact?”

“You’re welcome to stay as long as you like. There’s plenty of room here. I’ll send a message to the others, and they’ll come and visit tomorrow.”

Her pa looked around. “Nice place you got here. I just might light awhile.”

“You’re always welcome.” She wondered how long
awhile
would be this time.

Pa pushed away. “I’ll join the others outside.”

She waited until he left to release her pent-up emotion in a loud whoosh.

Rudy stood in the kitchen doorway, a towel around his waist. “Everything okay?”

She hesitated, not sure how to respond. “Everything is as usual.”

He chuckled. “You mean he’s here today, gone tomorrow?”

“I don’t expect him to stay. If I had to guess, he’s outside right now listening to tales of excitement and adventure. Having a family could never compete with that.”

“Most men would disagree.”

She crossed the room and stood close enough to wonder if she saw a flash of longing in his eyes. “Do you wish you had a family?” A wife?

“I have Freddy. That’s the most family I’ve ever really had.”

Their gazes held, searching past what was to what might have been. What might still be.

“Life is full of opportunities,” she whispered. “If a person is willing to reach out for them.”

He brushed her cheek with his knuckles. “Are you thinking about joining up with your pa?”

He’d misunderstood her meaning.

“Not at all.” She pushed past him before she could demand to know why he was so blind to her love. She would put it in words but feared if she did it would scare him away.

She could only pray Pa wouldn’t entice Rudy to join him in seeking adventure.

The next morning, Rudy took the message of their pa’s visit to both of the sisters. They showed up at the stopping house a short time later, escorted by their husbands. Both men gave the older man accusing looks. They’d seen how his defection had hurt their wives. They wouldn’t be letting him hurt them again.

Rudy felt the same way toward Joanna. If only he could prevent the man from saying or doing something to hurt her again.

Mandy was cautiously eager. “Hi, Pa. I knew you’d come back.”

“Always do,” the man said.

“Just about long enough to upset our lives, and then you’re gone again.” Glory wasn’t the least bit welcoming.

At the way she flashed defiant looks at Levi, Rudy wondered if he’d dragged her down the hill.

They stayed and visited all afternoon, listening to their pa’s stories of adventure and gold finds.

“I notice he doesn’t seem to be offering any of his gold to the girls,” Trace murmured as he went to the stove to pour himself a cup of coffee.

“I doubt he has any gold.” Rudy had seen no evidence.

“Any idea how long he plans to stay?”

“Joanna says not long. He asked her to go with him.”

Trace drew back and stared at Rudy. “She’s not going, is she?”

“Told him she had other plans.”

“Right. California.”

“It’s getting a little late in the season for that, isn’t it?”

“I’d say she has a few days yet before she’ll have to postpone the trip until spring.”

Rudy lifted the stove lid and stirred the fire. He’d thought she wouldn’t be leaving… that those plans had fallen through because of the fire. Surely she wouldn’t leave while her pa was here.

Might be a good thing if the man hung around a bit.

F
ive days later, Mr. Hamilton was still there. In fact, he’d settled in like he meant to put down roots.

Rudy had given up the bedroom for the man, even though the older man said he didn’t mind sleeping on the floor. Rudy kind of hoped a comfortable bed would make him linger… just long enough to make travel west too risky.

He needed time to carry out his plans.

Maybe tonight he’d get an opportunity to talk to Joanna. Having her pa around served a purpose but made it harder and harder for Rudy to be alone with her. And oh, how he missed it.

The cart was finished. He thought he’d take her to the shed and show her what they’d made. That way he could more likely have a bit of time alone with her. He counted the hours.

The dining room door opened, letting in a draft of cold air. Winter edged closer every night.

“Hello, Joanna. Are you there?” A woman’s voice filled the air.

Rudy looked up from the bench he was constructing along the new wall. It would give her a sturdy place to set the laundry tubs.

“Sarah.” Joanna squealed and dashed for the door. “What are you doing here?” She dragged a very pretty young woman into the kitchen. A black coat covered most of what she wore, allowing only a glimpse of a white blouse and dark skirt with a plain vest to match. An inadequate number of pins corralled her mass of blond hair so that much of it tumbled to her shoulders and beyond. Her blue eyes flashed with interest while she looked around. Her gaze lit on Rudy as he hunkered down, securing the bench to the wall.

“Hello. You must be Rudy. Joanna mentioned you in her letters. I’m her friend Sarah. I’ve come to convince her to join me in traveling to California.”

Rudy rose slowly, wiped his hand on his pants, and decided against shaking. Instead, he nodded. “Pleased to meet you.” Though
pleased
was not the right word. He didn’t want someone pulling Joanna away.

“Sit down and tell me everything.” Joanna filled the kettle and sliced a piece of cake for her guest.

“You go first.” Sarah took in the new wall. “Is that where the fire was?” Her gaze rested forcefully on Rudy, and she measured him.

He drew himself tall, somehow knowing he must pass inspection.

“Rudy’s done a good job of rebuilding it.”

“It looks finished.” Sarah’s words rang with conviction. “No reason to stay in Bonners Ferry.”

“Unfortunately, the sale fell through.”

“So you said.” Sarah again measured Rudy. What was she scheming?

“I haven’t had time to write and let you know Pa showed up.”

That got Sarah’s attention. “Here? How long is he staying?”

“He doesn’t say, but even if he did, I wouldn’t expect him to settle anywhere. But you know, he’s getting older.”

“Maybe he prefers a nice warm house for the winter.”

“Maybe.”

“So let’s talk about this California trip.”

“Sarah, I thought you’d be gone by now. If you delay too long, you’ll have to wait until spring.”

“I have no intention of spending a snowy, cold winter here when I could enjoy sunshine and warm ocean breezes.”

“I’m sorry I’ve caused you so much wasted time.”

“That’s why I’m here. To get you to reconsider. It seems to me, there’s a way you can arrange your affairs so you can leave. With your pa here, there’s no reason you can’t leave him in charge until another buyer comes along.”

Rudy stared at Sarah. He shifted to meet Joanna’s gaze. Her eyes were wide. Did this mean she welcomed Sarah’s suggestion?

That blond woman had no right to come and put a wrench in his plans.

Rudy grabbed the hammer and jerked open the outside door. He would not stay and listen to them. He stomped to the shed, put the hammer away, and stared at the finished cart. So much for a moment alone with Joanna tonight. So much for taking one step at a time toward the Mansion of Happiness.

Freddy was down at the ferry, one of his favorite places, talking to the ferryman.

The place closed in around Rudy. He saddled his horse and rode away as fast as he could.

He rode south, retracing the journey that brought him here weeks ago. He’d come looking for his brother, Joe, intent on turning Freddy over to him then riding back to his own life.

He now realized his rootless life was his way of running from his emotions. He realized a number of things had changed for him. He no longer looked at his past with the same amount of pain. He loved Freddy as if he were his own.

He reached a spot that allowed him to stare into the distance and reined up to contemplate.

Freddy was now part of his life.

Joanna owned a large portion of his heart.

She’d convinced him to read the Bible. One verse clung to his thoughts.
“I have loved thee with an everlasting love.”

He knew it was true because God said it, and God wasn’t like men to say one thing but mean another. He thought of something Levi said in one of his sermons.
“We must know in order to believe. Then we must believe in order to know.”
He’d gone on to explain how we might puzzle about the truths in the Bible, but to claim them for ourselves we have to make a choice to believe as well.

Rudy knew God meant it when He said He loved him.

All there was left to do was believe it.
God, I believe You love me.

Light seemed to fill his heart. Yes, God loved him. Had loved him all the years he’d spent running. What a waste.

Exactly.

He wasn’t about to waste another day. He headed back to Bonners Ferry.

“I can’t go,” Joanna insisted again as Sarah continued to try her persuasive arguments. Yes, it was possible she could leave the stopping house in Pa’s care or even ask Austin and Cora to run the place until it sold.

But if she left, how could she ever hope her love for Rudy would have a chance? So often she saw something in his eyes that gave her hope. On more than one occasion she’d been certain he was about to say something. Each time he jerked back. Afraid.

She understood his fear. Shared it to some degree.

Loving required a willingness to take a risk. Both of them had been hurt by unrequited love, and it had made them cautious.

She was willing to allow him all the time he needed.

But when he rode out of the yard in a hot hurry, her heart clambered up the back of her throat and stuck there. She’d only been able to breathe normally when she saw Freddy down at the ferry. Rudy wouldn’t go without him.