Brides of Idaho (58 page)

“Yes, I’m sure she’ll like it very much, but where did you get the money to buy it?”

Freddy jumped to the ground and came round to face Rudy. “Please don’t be mad, but I traded my knife.”

Freddy could have knocked Rudy over with his little finger. “Why would you do that?”

“Because I want her to know how much I love her.” Freddy’s face grew red. He looked down, suddenly intent on kicking a rock loose from the dirt.

“You could have just told her.”

He glanced at Rudy then back at the scuffed toe of his shoe. “I’m scared to. She might think I’m silly.”

This boy was certainly closely related to Rudy. But he showed his feelings better. “It was your knife to do with as you choose.”

“You’re not mad?”

“No. Now let’s go eat breakfast before Joanna comes looking for us.”

“Wait. I want to give it to her for a special reason. Like her birthday or something. But I don’t know when it is.”

“Why don’t you ask Glory or Mandy?”

His face lit up. “Okay. I can do that. But what if her birthday is a long ways away? Then what?”

Rudy laughed. “Then I guess we’ll have to make up a special occasion.”

Freddy nodded, all smiles. “That would be good.”

Rudy agreed. Maybe he could dream up something suitable for a special occasion himself. But what? All he could think at the moment was how much he loved her. But he was afraid to say it. Was there some occasion that would enable him to speak the words?

Usually Mandy or Glory—often both of them—visited every day, but the afternoon trudged onward without either of them appearing.

Freddy abandoned all pretense of work. “I gotta find out about her birthday. Let me go to the mission.”

Rudy shook his head. “It can wait until tomorrow. It’s Sunday. Everyone will be here.”

Joanna entered the kitchen at that moment. “The wall looks good. I can’t thank you enough for doing the repairs.”

Rudy and Freddy exchanged guilty looks. He supposed Freddy was remembering his foolishness, while Rudy’s insides flooded with heat that she should think he deserved thanks. The repairs had given him an opportunity to continue enjoying her presence.

She busied herself in the kitchen. “I’ll soon open for business again, though I don’t expect many customers once winter sets in.” She’d already let a handful of people sit at the dining room table and spend the night. None of them complained about the faint odor of smoke, mostly covered by the smell of roast venison or apple pie. “Glory and Levi have a full house up at the mission, what with those who were almost drowned in that accident last week. Glory says two of the children are very ill with pneumonia.”

Freddy and Rudy stopped cutting a board and listened as Joanna talked.

“Is everyone going to be okay?” Rudy asked.

“They’re all improving.” She ducked into the depths of a cupboard and emerged with a rolling pin in hand. “Goodness! Things have been rearranged, and I have a hard time locating them.”

Freddy steadied the board in place. Rudy placed a nail but he didn’t hammer it. Not while Joanna chattered on.

“Glory and Levi have a lot of responsibility. It will be nice for them to sit down and enjoy dinner here tomorrow.”

Rudy smiled. Joanna liked knowing she could do something for her sister. He pounded in a nail.

“I expect Cora will be marrying soon. Austin won’t want to wait long.”

Freddy jerked around. “Who’s going to help you then?”

Joanna stopped measuring flour. “Why, I don’t know, Freddy.” She looked out the window with a faraway gaze in her eyes.

She must surely be thinking of California and regretting she wasn’t on her way. Rudy shot Freddy a warning look. Thankfully, he did not pursue the subject.

Rudy turned away from her distant expression and drove three more nails into place then he put his hammer away. He could not stay and endure his disappointment.

“Freddy, you can clean up while I run a few errands.” He strode from the house before he could make a fool of himself and suggest she might like to stay and let him help her run the place.

Joanna watched him scurry from the kitchen as if he couldn’t get away fast enough. How many times had he hurried away in the past couple of weeks? Too many. He obviously regretted opening his arms to her and kissing her. And yet she continued to hope he’d open his heart in welcome.

She sighed and continued measuring flour for pies. She’d given him every opportunity to say something about his feelings. Why, she’d practically told him she loved him, leaving him plenty of time to respond. Instead, he ran. Would he always run? She’d had a glimpse of the depth and power of his love, and she longed to have it for herself.

Freddy tidied up the area where he and Rudy had been working then came to sit at the table. He watched as Joanna rolled out pie dough. “You make good pies.”

She chuckled, remembering how he’d stolen a whole pie and eaten it all. “And you would know, wouldn’t you?”

“I was hungry.”

“And angry, too, I think.”

“I guess. My insides got all upset when I thought no one wanted me.”

“But now you know your uncle Rudy does.”

He nodded but looked thoughtful.

At least she’d accomplished that, though she’d done nothing but say a few words and give the pair a chance to get to know and trust each other. That should have been enough to satisfy her, but it was only a drop in the empty barrel of what she wanted.

“I told Uncle Rudy we should stay here and help you.”

A shot of surprise jolted through her. “You did? What did he say?”

“I don’t remember. Except he didn’t say we could.”

Her eyes welled, and she blinked back the tears. What had she expected? “I guess he has other plans.” Did Freddy know what they were? She wouldn’t ask, and he didn’t say.

He rested his arms on the table and propped his chin as he continued to watch her. Then his eyes brightened. “When’s your birthday?”

“What an odd question. Why do you ask?”

He lifted one shoulder. “Just wondering.”

“It’s in April. April the fifth.”

“Oh. That’s a long time from now.”

“I suppose so.”

“Will you do something special?”

Why the concern about birthdays? Did Freddy have one coming soon? Perhaps he was afraid it would be overlooked. “My sisters and I have always had a little party. Usually just the three of us. But now I guess it will include their husbands.” He looked so interested, she continued. “We make a cake and put on rose flowers made of icing.”

“You can make flowers out of icing?”

She nodded. “We lived with a lady one winter who taught us cake decorating. She made wedding cakes that were very pretty.”

He sank back. “I guess that’s just girlie stuff.”

Laughing, she continued. “When we were younger, we never had any spending money for gifts, and our pa never remembered our birthdays. So we always found some little thing we thought the birthday girl would like.”

“What kind of thing?”

“Once Mandy and I made a horsehair rope for Glory. I expect she still has it.”

“What did you get?”

She smiled at the fond memory. “I’ll just put these into the oven; then I have something to show you.” She slipped the pies in to bake then went to the bedroom and got a card her sisters had made her a couple of years ago. They could now afford to buy little things if they chose, but the things they found or made each other remained the most precious.

She returned to the kitchen. “They gave me this card. See the tiny little flowers covering the front and how they scalloped the edges?” Neither of the girls liked doing what they called “prissy” work, so it was all the more special. She opened it. The poem inside, copied from a schoolbook, was all the more sweet because of the imperfect penmanship.

Freddy leaned close to read it, and she sat beside him. “Why all this talk about birthdays? Do you have one coming up?”

He bolted to his feet. “No.” And rushed outdoors.

She sighed. Why did she have this effect on both Freddy and his uncle? There were times when, apart from her sisters, she wondered if anyone made sense.

Rudy and Freddy returned in time for supper, and both were unusually quiet throughout the meal. In fact, Cora did most of the talking, telling them about the pictures Austin had taken in the gold fields.

When Rudy followed on Freddy’s heels to the bedroom, Joanna admitted her disappointment to herself. She had hoped for another evening visit.

Sunday brought a welcome change as they made their way to the mission for church. Austin joined them in town, claiming Cora’s attention and leaving Joanna and Rudy to walk side by side as Freddy ran on ahead.

They drew abreast of the place where she’d found him beating the trees in frustration, and she swallowed back a sigh. Seems they hadn’t progressed from that moment.

But she could not continue to feel sad as they sang hymns and listened to Levi’s encouraging sermon then gathered round the table at the stopping house for dinner. Nine of them, with Austin at Cora’s side.

Conversation was easy as they discussed the events of the week. As soon as the dishes were done, Austin showed his photographs. Mandy took extra care examining the pictures with people in them.

Joanna and Glory exchanged glances. Joanna tried to signal her not to mention it.

But Glory only rolled her eyes before turning to Mandy. “You won’t see Pa in them.”

Mandy didn’t even look up. “How do you know?”

“What difference would it make if you do? You going to track him down and bring him back? Maybe get him to settle here and be a real father?”

“Oh, Glory. You’re always so angry at him.” Mandy bent over another picture. “I don’t expect him to start a home for us. None of us need it anymore.” She jerked her attention toward Joanna, her eyes wide as if she’d just realized something. “Unless Joanna wants him to make a home with her.”

Joanna snorted. “I think I can manage on my own.”

Mandy already had her attention back on the pictures. She picked up one and turned it toward the light from the window. “That’s him right there.”

“Let me see.” Glory held out her hand.

The two of them leaned over the picture. Glory sat back. “I don’t see how you can say so.”

Mandy handed the picture to Joanna. “What do you think?” She pointed to a man bundled up in a shapeless coat, a battered hat upon his head.

Joanna could barely make out his profile other than to see a mat of dark whiskers. “I don’t know if it’s him or not.” What difference did it make? He couldn’t undo the past. But she refrained from saying so. After all, she seemed the only one unable to shed the hurt and move on.

She watched Rudy from beneath her lashes as he looked at the pictures. It wasn’t that she didn’t know how to love. It was more a matter of loving unwisely.

Austin gathered up the pictures amid a flurry of thank-yous. “I’m glad you enjoyed them.”

Trace went to the door to retrieve a parcel. He set it on the table. “I brought a game to play.” He spread out a game board. “The Mansion of Happiness.”

Joanna chuckled. “So this is how you get there. I’ve always wondered.” Everyone laughed, and she met Rudy’s eyes. Something sweet flickered between them, as if he promised they wanted the same thing and hoped they would find it.

She looked away and shook her head. How silly to think they’d find what they wanted by playing a game.

A spinner indicated how many moves they should make. If one of them landed on a vice, they had to miss a turn. If they landed on a virtue, they got to move six places.

Joanna took her turn. She landed on “passion.”

Glory read the rules. “‘Whoever gets into a passion must be taken to the water and have a ducking to cool him.’”

Joanna was forced to return to the beginning.

Twice more the same thing happened. “I think someone is trying to tell me something,” she complained. “I guess it’s folly for me to allow deep feelings.”

Mandy reached across the table and squeezed her hands. “I think it surely refers to passions that run so high we are tempted to do immoral things.”

Joanna nodded, afraid she’d revealed too much. This game made her feel like she was being warned against love.