Brides of Alaska (19 page)

“Nothing will keep me from your side,” Sam declared.

“But what if something happens and it does? I can't stay home and forget the people in the villages. We should be in agreement about what we'll do if that happens,” Julie said earnestly.

“If that happens, and I don't believe it will,” Sam replied, “then I'll simply wait here with a light in the window until you come home safely to me. Good enough?” Sam's eyes were filled with love.

Julie nodded. She no longer had any doubts about being married to Sam. “I love you, Sam, and I love God for giving me the wisdom to marry you. It will be the light of your love that leads me home and keeps me strong.”

“Oh my beautiful Jewel,” Sam said as he leaned back and pulled Julie against him. “That's a light that will never burn out. For as long as I live, it will burn only for you.”

T
he Royal Canadian Air Force regrets to inform you …” Bethany Hogan refused to read any further as the telegram fell from her hand and blew across the yard.

Chubby four-year-old legs ran across the promise of new spring grass to catch up with the papers but were too slow for the job.

Beth watched as two-year-old Phillip followed after his older brother, Gerald. How could she explain to them that their father had been killed? How could she hope that they could understand that a madman named Hitler had made it necessary for their father to give his life in service to his country?

American-born and native to Alaska, Bethany had met her Canadian husband only six years earlier in Fairbanks. He was flying with barnstormers, who for the outrageous price of two dollars would take individuals up into the air to forget the problems and concerns of the Depression.

John Brian Hogan, “JB” to his friends, wasn't exactly what Beth had been looking for. He was a bit too wild and carefree, with a love of life that oozed over into his conversations and chosen profession. Beth thought him reckless but entertaining.

She remembered standing along the sidelines watching as her girlfriends took turns flying with some of the other barnstormers. JB worked for over an hour, missing several paying customers, in order to coax Beth into the air for free.

It all came rushing back to her as the breeze picked up and blew strong across the open field. The roar of the DH-4's twelve-cylinder engine, the seeming frailty of dope and fabric wings, and the rush of the wind as JB eased back on the stick and the biplane became airborne.

Now he was gone. In his passing, two children were left without a father. Bethany squinted against the morning sun and watched as her children came running back across the field. They were laughing, enjoying the moment, the sun, and the excitement of a new day.

“Momma!” Gerald squealed as he wrapped himself around her legs. Phillip mimicked his brother as soon as his little legs could take him to his mother's side.

Beth hugged her children close, refusing to show them her sorrow.
Oh JB
, she cried silently.
Why? Why did you have to leave them now? Why did you have to leave me?

“Momma, was that a letter from Daddy?” Gerald asked in his boisterous voice.

Beth steadied her nerves, lifted Phillip into her arms, and led Gerald with her to sit beneath their favorite towering pine. Gerald, always the more sensitive of the two, sobered at his mother's expression. He waited quietly while Beth settled herself with Phillip.

“The letter wasn't from Daddy, but it was about Daddy,” Beth said and took a deep breath. She breathed a prayer, asking God for just the right words. “Daddy has to go away for a long, long time.”

“Did he go to heaven?” Gerald asked, surprising Beth with his bluntness.

“Yes,” Beth said softly, uncertain that Gerald could really understand. “What made you ask that?”

“Daddy told me he might have to go to heaven instead of coming home after his job was done.”

Good old JB
, Beth thought. She should have known he would prepare his child for the possibility of his death. “Do you understand about heaven, Gerald?”

“Daddy said it was a really beautiful place. A place where you got to live if you loved God,” the boy answered quite seriously.

“That's right,” Beth said as she tried to think of what she might say next.

“Will we see him again?”

“Yes,” Beth assured. “We'll see him again in heaven.”

Phillip seemed oblivious to the news, but Gerald's little forehead furrowed as he concentrated on his mother's answer. Beth wondered if he would cry or if he'd truly be able to grasp the meaning of his father's death. JB had already been gone from Gerald's daily life for several months.

Gerald began to nod his head and Phillip, ever faithful, did likewise. “Then it's okay,” he said as he put his hand on his mother's arm. “If Daddy's in heaven, then it's okay.”

Beth looked at her brown-eyed son and smiled. “Yes, it's okay, Gerry. Daddy's in heaven and it's really okay.”

Phillip squirmed out of Beth's arms and ran after some birds, while Gerald sat beside his mother and held her hand. He seemed to sense that, while his mother's words were filled with hope and eternity, her heart was empty and hurting.

Later that night, after Bethany had tucked the boys into the double bed they shared, she made her way to the sitting room. The rolltop desk gave slight resistance as she pushed it open and took a seat.

There was a great deal to be done in order to get everything arranged. Being American, Bethany was determined to return to Alaska and raise her children as Americans, but where should she take them and how would she support them? There was the small nest egg that she and JB had saved, but that wouldn't last long with two growing boys.

JB had always teased her about being so meticulous and organized. Beth would make lists every fall and again in the spring of all the things that needed to be done. JB thought it foolish, but inevitably he relied upon them every bit as much as his wife. So Bethany made another list—in fact, several.

Across the top of the paper she wrote: T
HINGS TO SELL
. T
HINGS TO TAKE
. T
HINGS TO DO FIRST.
Under the final heading, she listed the thing that seemed most important:
Bury JB
.

Beth worked long into the night, going over the contents of the house and JB's shop. She thought of choice items to save as mementos for the boys, things that would give them fond memories of their father. Glancing up, she noticed the framed picture of JB in his uniform.

She put the pencil down and reached for the picture. For the first time, Beth allowed her tears to fall. It was impossible to imagine that the big-hearted man she'd fallen in love with was gone.

“JB,” she said aloud, “you told me this might happen, but I never believed you. You were always able to get out of any scrape, no matter how bad.” She looked at the photo, tracing JB's outline. He'd obviously been told to look serious for the photograph, but his eyes crinkled with laughter.

“I never, ever thought you'd leave me. I trusted God to keep you in His care, which of course He did. I just didn't know He'd choose to care for you in heaven.”

Beth got up from the desk and, with the picture still in hand, stretched out across the couch. She intended only to have a good long cry and then go to bed, but instead she fell asleep clutching the picture to her heart.

“Momma,” Phillip patted at Beth's face. “Momma, me eat.”

Beth roused herself from a dreamless sleep, grateful for a reason to get up. The picture clattered to the floor, momentarily forgotten as Phillip climbed on top of his mother.

“Come here, you sweet boy,” Beth said, pulling the two-year-old into her arms. “You don't look like you need food,” she teased as she looked underneath Phillip's nightshirt. “But, you look like you could use a good tickling.” Phillip's giggles filled the air as Beth ran her fingers lightly across her son's abdomen.

“Tickle me,” Gerald called as he climbed on his mother's legs. “I need tickles, too.”

The three of them rolled around the couch, laughing and giggling until Beth felt her sorrow melt away. JB wasn't really gone. As long as Gerald and Phillip were here, she would have reminders of JB's love for her.

“Come along, you ragamuffins,” Beth said as she set the boys aside and got to her feet. “I'll get you some breakfast and then we have some errands to do.”

The boys padded after their mother to the kitchen and waited impatiently for her to prepare steaming bowls of oatmeal. After placing the food on the table, Beth went to the refrigerator and brought cream for their cereal.

“Berries, too, Momma?” Gerald questioned.

“No, I'm sorry. It's still too early for them. I have a little bit of brown sugar though. I've been saving it just for you two,” Beth said as she went to the cupboard and pulled out a small china bowl.

Phillip clapped his hands as Beth spooned the sweetener onto the oatmeal. “Choogar, choogar,” he chanted, trying to pick up pieces of the lumpy brown sugar before Beth could blend it in with the cereal.

When breakfast was served, Beth took a seat at the table and she and the boys bowed their heads.

“Father, thank You for the food You've given us,” Beth prayed. “We ask for it to nourish our bodies, that we might have the strength and energy to do Your work. Amen.”

Gerald and Phillip went to work on their cereal, while Beth pulled a small, worn Bible from the pocket of her apron. Such was their morning routine: breakfast and devotions.

Beth opened to 1 John 2:28 and read to the boys: “‘And now, little children, abide in him; that, when he shall appear, we may have confidence, and not be ashamed before him at his coming.'”

She placed the book on the table and turned to Gerald. “Do you understand what that means?”

Gerald got a serious look on his face as his mind struggled to grasp the ancient words. “I know we're little children,” he said pointing to himself and then to Phillip.

“That's right,” Beth said with a nod. “And abide in Him means to live in God and God in you. Do you understand that?” Gerald nodded his head yes and Phillip mimicked the action before Beth continued.

“We are all God's little children and this verse tells us that we are to remain close to Him. It also tells us why. It says we need to do this so that we won't be ashamed when God comes back for us.”

“Like He came back for Daddy?” Gerald asked, surprising Bethany.

“That's right. Daddy loved God very much, and because Daddy lived close to God, he wasn't ashamed when God told him it was time to come to heaven.”

“Daddy in heh–hehbeen,” Phillip joined in.

Beth held back her tears. “Yes, Daddy is in heaven and he's smiling right now because his two big boys are learning about God and how much God loves them. It makes your daddy happy and it makes God happy when you spend time learning about the Bible.”

“Will Daddy forget us while he's in heaven?” Gerald asked with a look of concern. “What if we don't get there very soon? Will Daddy know us when he sees us?”

Beth couldn't hold back the hot tears that filled her eyes. “Daddy will always remember us. He won't forget us and we won't forget him. You wait here for just a minute,” Beth said using the opportunity to wipe her eyes as she went back to the living room for JB's picture.

When she returned to the kitchen, the boys were nearly done with their breakfast. She put the picture in the middle of the table and took her seat. “This picture was taken last year when your daddy went away to fight in the big war.”

“He went to fly the airplanes, right, Momma?” Gerald queried.

“Yes,” Beth answered. “Your daddy flew the airplanes.”

“Did he fly his airplane up to heaven?”

“I'm sure that Daddy was in his airplane when he went to heaven. We never know when God will come to take us home to heaven, so we must always be ready. We must always be good and kind to one another, and we should always live close to God and His Word.”

Phillip reached out to the picture. “Daddy?”

Beth grieved that her boys would never remember their father for the person he was. He would only be a character in stories they heard and a friendly face that sat upon their breakfast table.

“Yes, Phillip,” she said as she allowed him to hold the picture in his chubby hands, “this is your daddy, and he loved us all very much. Whenever we miss him, we can look at this picture and remember that he doesn't want us to be sad. Can you do that, boys?”

Both boys nodded their heads solemnly. They seemed to sense that the moment was quite important. “How long will it be, Momma? How long before we see Daddy in heaven?” Gerald finally asked.

“I don't know, Gerry. But one day we will see him. Of that you can be sure.” It seemed to satisfy his boyish curiosity and Beth dismissed them both to play outside.