Brian Friel Plays 1 (25 page)

Authors: Brian Friel

BOOK: Brian Friel Plays 1

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MICHAEL
:
Are you coming or are you not?

SKINNER
:
Expenses incurred by elected representatives on our recent trip to Calcutta to study arterial developments. I think we all benefited from that visit, didn’t we?

MICHAEL
:
You!

SKINNER
:
So I propose those expenses be passed. Seconded? Good. Good. Item 7 –

MICHAEL
:
When you’re finished mouthing there!

SKINNER
:
What’s wrong, Mr Hegarty? Aren’t you interested? As one of the city’s nine thousand unemployed isn’t it in your interest that your idleness is pursued in an environment as pleasant as possible with pets and flowers and music and gaily painted buildings? What more can you want, Mr Hegarty?

MICHAEL
:
Nothing that you would want, Skinner. I can tell you that.

SKINNER
:
No doubt, Mr Hegarty. But now’s your opportunity to speak up, to introduce sweeping legislation, to change the face of the world. Come on, Mr Hegarty. The voice of the fourteen per cent unemployed. Speak up, man, speak up. You may never have a chance like this again.

LILY
:
I want the chairman to go before me.

SKINNER
:
In a moment, Lily. Lord Michael has the floor. Well sir?

(
MICHAEL
is very angry but controls himself and speaks precisely
.)

MICHAEL
:
What I want, Skinner, what the vast majority of the people out there want, is something that a bum like you wouldn’t understand: a decent job, a decent place to live, a decent town to bring up our children in – that’s what we want.

LILY
:
Good man, young fella.

SKINNER
:
Go on – go on.

MICHAEL
:
And we want fair play, too, so that no matter what our religion is, no matter what our politics is, we have the same chances and the same opportunities as the next fella. It’s not very much, Skinner, and we’ll get it, believe me, we’ll get it, because it’s something every man’s entitled to and nothing can stop us getting what we’re entitled to.

LILY
:
Hear-hear.

MICHAEL
:
And now, Skinner, you tell us what you want. You’re part of the fourteen per cent too. What do you want?

(
The
BRIGADIER
enters right as before. Guarded by three
SOLDIERS
.
Speaks through the loudhailer
.)

BRIGADIER
:
Attention, please! Attention!

LILY
:
Whist! Listen!

BRIGADIER
:
This is Brigadier Johnson-Hansbury. I will give you five minutes more to come out. Repeat – five minutes. You will lay down your arms immediately and proceed to the front entrance with your hands above your head. The Guildhall is completely surrounded. I advise you to attempt nothing foolhardy. This is your last warning. I will wait five more minutes, commencing now.

(
He goes off
.
SKINNER
lifts the ceremonial sword, looks for a second at
MICHAEL
,
goes to the portrait and sticks the sword into it. Turns round and smiles at
MICHAEL
.)

SKINNER
:
It’s only a picture. And a ceremonial sword.

(
The
JUDGE
appears on the battlements;
PROFESSOR
CUPPLEY
enters left
.)

JUDGE
:
Professor Cuppley, you carried out post-mortem examinations on the three deceased.

CUPPLEY
:
Yes, my lord.

JUDGE
:
And your report states that all three were killed by SLR rifle-fire.

CUPPLEY
:
Yes, my lord.

JUDGE
:
Could you tell us something about this type of weapon?

CUPPLEY
:
It’s a high-velocity rifle, using 7.62 mm ammunition; and from my point of view it’s particularly untidy to work
with because, if the victim has been hit several times in close proximity it’s very difficult to identify the individual injuries.

JUDGE
:
Could you elaborate on that?

CUPPLEY
:
Well, the 7.62 is a high-velocity bullet which makes a small, clean entry into the body. There’s no difficulty there. But once it’s inside the body, its effect is similar to a tiny explosion in that it shatters the bone and flesh tissue. And then, as it passes out of the body – at the point of exit – it makes a gaping wound and as it exits it brings particles of bone and tissue with it which make the wound even bigger.

JUDGE
:
I see. And your report states that the deceased died from a total of thirty-four wounds?

CUPPLEY
:
Forgive me correcting you, my lord, but what I said was – the second paragraph on page two – I think I pointed out that thirty-four was an approximation.

JUDGE
: I See that.

CUPPLEY
:
Because, as I say, with the SLR it’s very difficult to identify individual injuries if they’re close together. But in the case of Fitzgerald there were eight distinct bullet wounds; in the case of the woman Doherty – thirteen; and in the case of Hegarty – twelve, thirteen, fourteen; I couldn’t be sure.

JUDGE
:
I understand.

CUPPLEY
:
Fitzgerald’s wounds were in the legs, lower abdomen, the chest and hands. Doherty’s were evenly distributed over the whole body – head, back, chest, abdomen and legs. Hegarty was struck in the legs and arms – two wounds in the left leg, one in each arm; but the majority of the injuries were in the head and neck and shoulders, and the serious mutilation in such a concentrated area made precise identification almost … guesswork.

JUDGE
:
I think we have a reasonably clear picture, Professor Cuppley. Thank you.

CUPPLEY
:
Thank you.

(
The
JUDGE
disappears
.
CUPPLEY
goes off left
.
DODDS
walks on
.)

DODDS
:
All over the world the gulf between the rich and the poor is widening; and to give that statement some definition let me present you with two statistics. In Latin America one per cent of the population owns seventy-two per cent of the land and the vast majority of the farm-labourers receive no wages at all but are paid in kind. And in my own country of ‘magnificent affluence’, the richest country in the history of civilization, twenty per cent of the population live in extreme poverty.

So the question arises: what of the future? What solutions are the economists and politicians cooking up? Well, the answer to that is that there are about as many solutions as there are theorists, ranging from the theory that the poor are responsible for their own condition and should pull themselves up by their own shoe-strings to the theory that the entire free enterprise system should be totally restructured so that all have equal share of the cake whether they help to bake it or not.

And until these differences are resolved, nothing significant is being done for the poor. New alignments of world powers don’t affect them. Changes of government don’t affect them. They go on as before. They become more numerous. They become more and more estranged from the dominant society. Their position becomes more and more insecure. They have, in fact, no future. They have only today. And if they fail to cope with today, the only certainty they have is death.

(
The three begin tidying up in silence
.
SKINNER
puts on his shoes.
LILY
puts the flowers back into the vase and the glasses back into the cabinet
.
MICHAEL
arranges the things on the desk
(
the papers, etc
.)
and attempts to rub off the cigar-burn on the leather. All the exuberance is gone.
They move about as if they were deep in contemplation
.
MICHAEL
goes to the portrait and catches the sword
.)

SKINNER
:
Don’t touch that!

(
MICHAEL
looks at him, surprised at his intensity; then shrugs and turns away
.
SKINNER
smiles
.)

SKINNER
:
Allow me my gesture.

(
The chairs are back in place; the room is as it was when they first entered
.)

MICHAEL
:
That’s everything. I’m going now.

LILY
:
We’re all going, young fella.

(
LILY
looks around
.)

LILY
:
I never seen a place I went off as quick.

MICHAEL
:
It looks right again.

LILY
:
You can have it.

SKINNER
:
The Distinguished Visitors’ Book! We haven’t signed it yet! Come on, Lily!

LILY
:
Will we?

(
SKINNER
opens the book
.)

SKINNER
:
Of course we will. Aren’t you as distinguished as (
Reads
) Admiral Howard Ericson, United States Navy?

LILY
:
Never heard of him. Give us the pen. What do I write?

SKINNER
:
Just your name. There.

LILY
:
Get out of my road. I need space to write. ‘Elizabeth M. Doherty’.

SKINNER
:
What’s the ‘M’ for?

LILY
:
Marigold. What do I put down over here?

SKINNER
:
Where?

LILY
:
There. That Sunday we went to Bundoran we all signed the visitors’ book in the hotel we got our tea in and we all writ – you know – remarks and things, about the food and the nice friendly waiters and all. For the food, honest to God, Skinner, it was the nicest I ever eat. I mind I writ ’God bless the cook.’ Wasn’t that good?

MICHAEL
:
Lily.

LILY
:
And d’you see all them people that was staying there? We got terrible friendly with them and we all exchanged addresses and all. And then after me boasting to the chairman about all the letters I was going to get – not as much as a Christmas card from one of them! People let you down.

MICHAEL
:
Lily.

LILY
:
Coming, young fella, coming. (
To
SKINNER
) You’re smart. Tell me what I’ll put down there. You know – something grand.

SKINNER
:
‘Atmosphere Victorian but cellar excellent.’

LILY
:
Whatever that means. Sure they’d know that wouldn’t be me.

SKINNER
:
‘Décor could be improved with brass ducks and pink gloss.’

LILY
:
Haaa. He’s not going to let me forget that.

MICHAEL
:
Lily, please.

LILY
:
Hold on now – hold on a minute … I have it! ‘Looking forward to a return visit,’ That’s it – you know – nice and ladylike.

SKINNER
:
Perfect. Mr Hegarty?

MICHAEL
:
They won’t wait any longer.

SKINNER
:
You’re really the one should sign.

LILY
:
There! Not a bad fist now, is it?