Brian Friel Plays 1 (24 page)

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Authors: Brian Friel

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SKINNER
:
I don’t believe a word of it, Lily.

LILY
:
I’m a liar then?

SKINNER
:
And neither do you.

LILY
:
You’re calling me a liar, is that it?

SKINNER
:
I’ll tell you why you march.

LILY
:
He’ll be telling me my name isn’t Lily Doherty next.

SKINNER
:
Because you live with eleven kids and a sick husband in two rooms that aren’t fit for animals. Because you exist on a state subsistence that’s about enough to keep you alive but too small to fire your guts. Because you know your children are caught in the same morass. Because for the first time in your life you grumbled and someone else grumbled and someone else, and you heard each other, and became aware that there were hundreds, thousands, millions of us all over the world, and in a vague groping way you were outraged. That’s what it’s all about, Lily. It has nothing to do with doctors and accountants and teachers and dignity and boy scout honour. It’s about us – the poor – the majority – stirring in our sleep. And if that’s not what it’s all about, then it has nothing to do with us.

(
LILY
gazes at him. Pause
.)  

LILY
:
I suppose you’re right.

(
He switches to flippancy
.)

SKINNER
:
And that’s why I appeal to you, when you go into that polling station, put an X opposite my name and ensure that your children, too, will enjoy the freedom of the city. And now I think we’ll have one for the road, Lily,

(
He goes to the cabinet
.)

SKINNER
:
Let’s walk into the future with bloodshot eyes and unsteady step.

(
Pause
.)  

LILY
:
Did you ever hear tell of a mongol child, Skinner?

SKINNER
:
Where did you hide the brandy?

LILY
:
I told you a lie about our Declan. That’s what Declan is, He’s not just shy, our Declan. He’s a mongol. (
She finds the brandy bottle and hands it to him
.) And it’s for him I go on all the civil rights marches. Isn’t that stupid? You and him (
MICHAEL
) and everybody else marching and protesting about sensible things like politics and stuff and me in the middle of you all, marching for Declan. Isn’t that the stupidest thing you ever heard? Sure I could march and protest from here to Dublin and sure what good would it do Declan? Stupid and all as I am I know that much. But I still march – every Saturday. I still march. Isn’t that the stupidest thing you ever heard?

SKINNER
:
No.

LILY
:
That’s what the chairman said when I – you know – when I tried to tell him what I was thinking. He never talks about him; can’t even look at him. And that day that’s what he said, ‘You’re a bone stupid bitch. No wonder the kid’s bone stupid, too,’ The chairman – that’s what he said.

(
She stops abruptly, as if she had been interrupted.
SKINNER
goes to her and puts his glass into her had
.)

LILY
:
O merciful God.

(
PRIEST
appears on the battlements
.)

PRIEST
:
At eleven o’clock tomorrow morning solemn requiem Mass will be celebrated in this church for the repose of the souls of the three people whose death has plunged this parish into a deep and numbing grief. As you are probably aware I had the privilege of administering the last rites to
them and the knowledge that they didn’t go unfortified to their Maker is a consolation to all of us. And it is natural that we should mourn. But it is also right and fitting that this tragic happening should make us sit back and take stock and ask ourselves the very pertinent question: why did they die? That there are certain imperfections in our society, this I do not deny. Nor do I deny that opportunities for gainful employment, for decent housing, for effective voting were in certain instances less than equal. And because of these imperfections, honest men and women, decent men and women came together and formed the nucleus of a peaceful, dignified movement that commanded the respect not only of this city and this country but the respect of the world. But although this movement was initially peaceful and dignified, as you are well aware certain evil elements attached themselves to it and contaminated it and ultimately poisoned it, with the result that it has long ago become an instrument for corruption.

Who are they, these evil people? I will speak and I will speak plainly. They have many titles and they have many banners, but they have one purpose and one purpose only – to deliver this Christian country into the dark dungeons of Godless communism. I don’t suggest for one minute that the three people who died yesterday were part of this conspiracy, were even aware that they were victims of this conspiracy. But victims they were. And to those of you who are flirting with the doctrines of revolution, let me quote to you from that most revolutionary of doctrines – the sermon on the mount: ‘Blessed are the meek for
they
shall possess the land.’

In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

(
The
PRIEST
disappears as
MICHAEL
bustles in from the dressing-room
.)

MICHAEL
:
Okay – are we all set?

SKINNER
:
How are the nerves now?

MICHAEL
:
You’re not going out in that (
hat
)?

SKINNER
:
Why not?

MICHAEL
:
Put that hat away.

SKINNER
:
Would it lead to a breach of the peace?

MICHAEL
:
Put it back where it belongs, Skinner.

SKINNER
:
I’m keeping it. I think it’s … sympathetic.

(
He adjusts the angle
.) How about that, Lily?

(
He begins to sing; grabs
LILY
round the waist and turns her round a few times
.)

SKINNER
:
Where did you get that hat, where did you get that tile? Isn’t it a nobby one and just the proper style?

I should like to have one just the same as that …

LILY
:
Oooooops!

SKINNER
:
Where’er 1 go they shout ‘Hello! Where did you get that hat?’

LILY
:
You’ll have me as silly as yourself, Skinner.

SKINNER
:
Last round before closing. Come on, gentlemen, please. Last call – last call. What’s your pleasure, Mr Hegarty?

LILY
:
D’you see our Tom? He found an aul saucepan on the railway lines one day last summer and put it on his head for a laugh – just like that (
SKINNER
). And didn’t his head swell up with the heat and as God’s my judge he was stuck in it for two days and two nights and had to sleep with the handle down a rat-hole in the floor!

MICHAEL
:
The thing to remember is that we took part in a peaceful demonstration and if they’re going to charge us, they’ll have to charge six thousand others.

SKINNER
:
Small Scotch?

MICHAEL
:
Nothing. Now, if they want to be officious, supposing they take our names and addresses, that’s all they’re entitled to ask for and that’s all you’re expected to give them. That’s the law.

SKINNER
:
(
Toasts
) The law. Personally speaking I’m a great man for the law myself, you know, like, there’s nothing like the law.

MICHAEL
:
Okay, Lily? And if they try to get you to make a statement, you just say you’re making no statement unless your solicitor’s present.

SKINNER
:
My solicitor’s in Bermuda. Who’s yours, Lily?

LILY
:
Don’t mention them fellas to me. They all have the wan
story; you’ve a great case – you can’t be beat. And then when you’re in jail they won’t let you rest till you appeal.

SKINNER
:
Were you ever in jail, Lily?

LILY
:
No. Were you?

SKINNER
:
Not yet.

MICHAEL
:
Will You listen to me!

LILY
:
What is it, young fella?

MICHAEL
:
Give them no cheek and they’ll give you no trouble. We made a peaceful protest and they know that. They’re not interested in people like us. It’s the troublemakers they’re after.

SKINNER
:
They think we’re armed.

MICHAEL
:
They know damned well we’re not armed.

SKINNER
:
Why is the place surrounded by tanks and armoured cars?

MICHAEL
:
Are you ready, Missus?

SKINNER
:
And why are the walls lined with soldiers and police?

MICHAEL
:
We’ll do exactly as they ask. We’ve nothing to hide. I’ll go first.

(
LILY
drains her glass
.)

LILY
:
D’you see that sherry? I’d get very partial to that stuff.

SKINNER
:
It’s brandy.

MICHAEL
:
And if they ask you a straight question, give them a straight answer, and I promise you there’ll be no trouble.

LILY
:
I still think them windows’d be nicer in plain glass,

MICHAEL
:
These (
robes
) were inside, weren’t they?

(
He takes them into the dressing-room
.
LILY
moves across the room and suddenly grabs the back of a chair
.)

LILY
:
I drunk that glass far too quick. God, I come in reeling and now I’m going out reeling. D’you think would the equilibrium of my inner ear be inflamed?

(
MICHAEL
returns
.)

MICHAEL
:
Are we ready?

LILY
:
What time is it, young fella?

MICHAEL:
Just after five.

LILY
:
That’s grand.

MICHAEL
:
(
To
SKINNER
) Okay?

LILY
:
I’ll be back in time to make the tea.

MICHAEL
:
We’re going, Skinner.

(
SKINNER
slowly crosses to the Mayor’s seat, sits in it, and spreads himself
.)

SKINNER
:
I like it here. I think I’ll stay.

MICHAEL
:
For Christ’s sake!

SKINNER
:
You go ahead.

MICHAEL
:
We’re all going out together.

SKINNER
:
Why?

MICHAEL
:
Because they’ll think it’s some son of a trick if we split up.

SKINNER
:
Not if you look them clean in the eye and give them straight, honest answers.

MICHAEL
:
Skinner, are you coming?

(
Pause
.
Then
SKINNER
suddenly flings open the drawer in the table, pulls out a pile of papers, scatters them around the table. Talking very rapidly all the time
.)

SKINNER
:
Yes – I’m coming – after we’ve had a meeting of the corporation – then I’ll go. But we can’t spend the afternoon drinking civic booze and smoking civic fags and then walk off without attending to pressing civic business – no, no, no, no. That wouldn’t be fair. So. Right. Have we a quorum? We have. Councillor – alderman – how are you? Take a seat. We have a short agenda today, if I remember correctly.

(
LILY
sits
.)

LILY
:
(
Apologetically
to
MICHAEL
) God, I need a seat, young fella. Just for five minutes. Till my head settles.

(
SKINNER
continues at great speed
.)

SKINNER
:
You have before you an account of last week’s meeting. I take it to be an accurate account of the proceedings. So may I sign it? Thank you. Thank you. And now to today’s agenda. Item 1. Request for annual subscription for the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals – I suggest we increase our sub to a hundred pounds. Agreed? Agreed, Item 2. Derry and District Floral Society want the use of the main hall for yearly floral display. Granted. Item 3. Tenders for painting all municipal buildings in the city – in pink gloss? – why not? Tenders accepted.

LILY
:
Pink gloss! Haaaa – that’s me!

SKINNER
:
Item 4. Invitation to us all to attend the first night of the Amateur Opera Society’s season and buffet supper afterwards. Of course we will. Love to. Item 5. Municipal grant sought by Derry Rugby Club to purchase extra acre of land adjacent to their present pitch. All in favour? Good. Grant granted. Unanimous. Fine. Item 6 –

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