Breathe Into Me (11 page)

I gave Kane a small smile when he followed Landon silently into the room, before turning to look at Landon. “Ready to switch? I don’t know how much more my hand can take,” I joked and pried my hand from Jessi’s, earning me a glare, as Landon made his way around the table to take my spot.

“Damn you weren’t kidding. She has one mean grip.” Landon cringed at the force of Jessi’s hold making everyone in the room laugh.

I walked over to Kane and leaned against the wall like he was. He looked down at me and absentmindedly flicked his lip ring. I loved and hated when he did that. Loved it because it was so hot, and hated it because it was so
damn
hot. Kane messing with that lip ring made my body tingle in places I never knew it could.

“So you still getting one?” he asked and raised an eyebrow at me as he waited for my response.

“Yup.” I dug my hands in my pockets.

“Really now. What did you decide to get?”

“Can’t tell you. It’s a secret. You will just have to wait and see.” I playfully bit my lip. I noticed his eyes zero in on my mouth, and that also for some reason made me tingle all over.

Oh my.

“You’re going to get my name tattooed on your ass aren’t you?” he said, and gave a sly smile.

“HA! Keep dreaming big boy,” I laughed.

At least he seemed to be in a better mood than when I’d seen him earlier. This was the Kane I had come to know.

“All done,” Lucas’ voice filled the room.

He wiped the excess ink from Jessi’s tattoo, and we all gathered around the table to take a look.

“It’s beautiful, Jess. And it’s so you.”

“Yeah, I guess it was worth the pain,” she said as she twisted her foot back and forth to get a better look at her new tattoo.

“Let me go over the care instructions with Jessi for a quick second, and then we will get your stencil on you, Kelsey.”

I nodded and began to gather my long hair into a messy bun on the top of my head. It was a good thing it’d been a warm day and I’d happened to wear a halter-top. This way I wouldn’t have to take my shirt off.

After Lucas had gone over the care instructions with Jessi, he placed the stencil on my shoulder and neck and handed me a small hand mirror. After agreeing on the placement of the tattoo, I laid down on the table and braced myself for the pain.

I heard the wheels of Lucas’ stool get closer and held out my hand for Jessi to take, but the hand that grasped mine was much larger and rougher than I’d been expecting. I glanced up to find Kane smiling down at me.

“I got you, Kelsey. It’s going to be okay.”

His words soothed more than just the nervous jitters I was feeling about the tattoo. When he said those words, I felt them to my core. Like he already knew all about my past, and was telling me it would all be okay in the end. I smiled at him before laying my head back down on the table for Lucas to begin on my tattoo.

The sting when the needle first penetrated my skin wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. Don’t get me wrong, overall, the whole experience hurt like hell … I’m not even going to play like it didn’t. But every time I thought the pain was beginning to be too much, Kane was there whispering words of encouragement in my ear. Letting me know that it was almost over and that it would be worth it in the end.

After what seemed like forever, the tattoo machine finally shut off and I felt Lucas pour the cool, cleaning solution over my raw skin before applying ointment to the fresh ink. I couldn’t wait to finally see it. When he was finished, Kane helped me slowly rise from the table to a sitting position, and made me take a few minutes to sit there and make sure I wouldn’t take a dizzy spell and come crashing to the floor. After a few minutes of insisting I was fine, Kane finally let me stand and walk over to the larger mirror in the room. That’s when I noticed Jessi and Landon were missing.

Kane must have seen me looking for them because he answered my unspoken question, “She saw you bleeding a little and kinda freaked out. Landon took her to get something to eat. They are waiting for us at the restaurant now.”

That made sense. Jessi never had been good with blood and she kept her hand over her face throughout her entire tattoo.

Lucas followed me to the larger mirror and placed the smaller one in my hand again. Taking a deep breath, I lifted the mirror to take a look at my back. When my eyes landed on my new tattoo, I felt the tears well up in my eyes. It was beautiful—perfect.

I looked at Kane and then Lucas; both were smiling at me as I tried to find the words to tell them how much I loved my tattoo … but all words seemed to fail me at that moment. I took one last look before handing the mirror back over to Lucas.

“Lucas … I love it. Really. It’s like you saw right into my head and how I pictured it, and put it on my body. You really are amazing at what you do. Thank you so much!”

“Really, Kelsey, it was nothing. I enjoyed doing this tattoo too. I’ve never done one like it before so it’s always fun to do something different and you did great by the way. You sat like a rock through the whole thing. For this being your first tattoo, that’s something.”

After Lucas went over the care instructions with me, I thanked him again, and Kane and I exited the shop into the cool night air. The temperature had dropped quite a bit from when we first went into the shop, and my halter-top wasn’t so perfect for the weather anymore. I shivered from the cool night breeze as we walked to the restaurant where Jessi and Landon were waiting for us.

“Cold?” Kane asked, and I nodded.

“A little, but it’s not too bad, and we should be there in a few minutes anyway.”

Kane stopped and began to pull the black long sleeve shirt he was wearing over his head. As he pulled it up, his gray undershirt went up part of the way with it—revealing a flat, toned stomach, and the top of gray boxers. If I wasn’t mistaken, I thought I’d caught a glimpse of a tattoo peeking over the top of his boxers.

After pulling the shirt all the way off, he tugged his undershirt down before holding up the other shirt for me.

“Kane, really, you don’t have to do that. We will be there in a little while anyway.”

“Kelsey, I insist.” He gave the shirt a little shake to let me know he was waiting.

I stepped closer to him, but he didn’t hand the shirt over to me. Instead, he held it above me and pushed my head through the collar before telling me to slide my arms into the sleeves. Anyone passing us on the street may have found it odd to see him dressing me right there on the sidewalk, but my stomach was so full of butterflies that I really didn’t care what anyone else thought at the moment.

Now that I was dressed in his shirt, we continued on our walk to the restaurant. I couldn’t help but secretly lean my nose closer to my shoulder to get a whiff of the sweet smell that was Kane.

That smell would forever be burned into my memory. Just like his eyes were.

That night after dinner, Kane and Landon walked us back to Jessi’s car before they headed off to Landon’s truck. When I offered to give Kane his shirt back, he refused and I smiled, secretly loving the fact that I was going to get to keep it for a few more hours.

By the time Jessi and I had made it back to the dorm I was so ready to crash. As soon as we stepped inside our room, exhaustion overtook me, and I flopped down on my bed. I didn’t bother to take Kane’s shirt off—and honestly I was enjoying the fact that I would be able to drift off to sleep with his sweet smell all around me.

I awoke to the sounds of blood-curdling screams, and it took me a second to realize that the screams were coming from me. By the time I opened my eyes, Jessi was hovering over me … concern etched all over her face.

“Kelsey, oh thank God you finally woke up!”

“Finally woke up? How long had I been screaming?” My raw throat and hoarse voice let me know that I must have been screaming for quite some time.

“About five minutes. You woke me up with your screams. I tried to wake you up but no matter what I did, you just wouldn’t open your eyes. It was so scary. I didn’t know what to do. Usually you’re so easy to wake up when you have your nightmares, but there was something different about this one. I couldn’t get you to come out of it.”

I felt so bad for putting my friend though my many years of night terrors. It had been a few months since my last one, though, and I wasn’t sure what would just bring them on again.

This one was just like the others—I was back in my old house, reliving the whole thing all over again and again. The last thing I remembered when I’d woken up was those eyes staring back at me.

It was the same eyes I looked at day in and day out. The warm, honey color would make you believe the person who wore those eyes would be full of warmth and love … when in reality he was as cold as ice, and as evil as the days were long. My eyes were the only things my father had given me; but he had taken
everything
.

He had taken my mother from me the night he murdered her.

The night I did nothing but sit there and watch.

Jessi sat back on her heels, giving me room to sit up on the edge of my bed. I pulled my hair at the roots, hoping the pain radiating from my scalp would dull the pain I felt at my core after reliving that night through my dream. But honestly, nothing ever soothed that ache and it never would. Throughout the years, the guilt had lessened a bit but I knew it would never fully go away. Some days it was easier to deal with, some days the pain and guilt was so crippling it was hard for me to even get out of bed. That’s why I would forever be in debt to Jessi and her wonderful family. I wouldn’t have made it through the last six years without them.

“I know this is a stupid question, but are you okay now?” Jessi whispered.

I nodded. “Yeah, Jess, I am. But could you do me a favor? Will you sleep with me tonight?”

This wasn’t a strange request to her. For the longest time after I had moved in with her, the images of that night came back so strong and real that she slept most nights in bed with me. I couldn’t stand to be alone. Every time I was alone, I was left with only my thoughts, and at that time my every thought was of that night. Being alone was just a reminder that I was—in every sense of the word—alone.

“Sure, silly. Now scoot. These beds are a lot smaller than the ones we have at home though. So just know if my ass ends up on the floor sometime throughout the night, I’m going kick yours when I climb back in bed with you,” she joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“Deal,” I said and scooted as far as the wall would allow.

“Thank you, Jess. For everything,” I whispered to the dark room, and her tiny hand grasped mine.

“You’re my best friend, Kelsey. I’ll always be here.”

Exhaustion from the dream finally took over and I drifted off to sleep again, holding tight to my best friend’s hand.

I slept through the rest of the night in a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

A thump that I assumed was Jessi’s body hitting the floor, was our wakeup call the next morning. After the thump, I heard muffled curse words being thrown around before Jessi’s wild red hair popped up over the side of my bed.

“Good Morning.” I sweetly smiled at her.

She grunted at me before returning my greeting with a quick, “Mornin.’” before she crawled over to her bed, climbed in, and went back to sleep.

I silently laughed before making my way to the bathroom for a quick shower. Lucas said it would be okay to shower the next morning, just as long as I tried to keep my more fragrant-filled soaps away from the tattoo as much as possible.

I hopped in the shower and began washing my hair, making sure to keep my hair away from my new tattoo. After I was done, I used a clip to hold my hair on top of my head as I began to wash my body. All and all I think I did a pretty good job keeping my tattoo out of harm’s way, but I was stilling going to have to wake Sleeping Beauty in there to help me clean the tattoo and reapply the ointment Lucas had given us for them.

After finally waking Jessi, and more or less pushing her into the bathroom so she could take her shower, we doctored our tattoos and set out for the day. We started the morning off with a cup of coffee and small breakfast at the coffee shop Kane and I had gone to that first day after class to have our talk. We then decided a little girl’s day to celebrate making it through the first week of classes was in order. After finding a salon that could fit us both in, we got our hair washed, trimmed, and styled. There was nothing like having someone else wash your hair. Even if we’d already had showers that morning, there was something about salon shampoos that made your hair shine and bounce like no other shampoo could.