Breathe (16 page)

I got serious. I took a step back out of his arms. “I mean it, Easton. I know you don’t like what I did. But I would do it again. I’m not worth all this drama. I’m sorry you had to deal with all of this when you shouldn’t have to, but I can’t allow things to get out of hand like that. You don’t know what that kind of sideshow is like. I don’t want you to think that I’ve changed my mind about calling the police. I don’t want to go through that again.”

He looked grim again. “I pretty much realized that when you let me walk away without a word, Jasmine.” He shook his head. “You are some kind of stubborn, huh?”

I didn’t smile this time. “I just know that that kind of attention brings nothing but pain and trouble. It invades your life and it never, ever, stops. It’s why we moved. I cannot allow my family to be dragged back down into that when things are starting to go back to normal again.”

I wanted him to understand the seriousness of the situation. I would do whatever it took to keep my family from experiencing that again, even if it meant giving up something or even someone I loved.

He was
looking at me thoughtfully. “You know, at first I was angry because they believed you. Then I was shocked that you could lie that well.”

“I wasn’t lying. I—” I started to protest. He held up his hand to stop me.

“Jasmine, you manipulated and twisted that situation to such a degree that the principal went against what he knew to be right because you were that convincing. I don’t know what you call that, but where I come from, that’s wrong.” He looked upset still.

“But when I thought about it more, I realized that you were doing what you thought was right. What I was seeing must have been what we were all seeing on television two years ago. That must be why people didn’t recognize you easily. It was an act. I get it now. You use that ability to get through the difficult situations in your life. Especially when you feel out of control like you did today.”

He paused for a moment, took a deep breath, and went on. “As much as I understand why you did what you did to me, the principal, and your mother, I don’t ever want to see that again. It was disturbing, and you have to promise me if we are going to work this out, you will never do that to me again. I hate being manipulated, and even if you think it’s for a good reason, honesty is always better. I want your word, Jasmine—your promise—that you won’t ever do that to me again. Even if you feel threatened and feel like you have no other option, I want you to trust me.”

How did he know? How had he discerned so quickly what was going on? I didn’t even understand myself that well to be able to articulate it like that. I knew that I had this ability when I was scared or mad to become someone else. Hide the real me and put forth a persona that wasn’t at all what I was really feeling. Could I promise to never do that to him ever again?

“I think you need to clarify what you mean by ‘do that again.’ If you mean argue my point of view, I will for sure do that again. I won’t allow my family to be dragged through that kind of circus again. I’ll always do what I can to stop it. The pretending-to-be-fine-when-I’m-not thing is a little harder to promise, only because I don’t really know when I’m doing it. Out-and-out lying—that, I will promise not to do again. I’m really sorry.” I looked at him hoping to see forgiveness. He was staring at me with a contemplative look on his face.

“I can agree to that. Are you really all right now?” He looked stern.

“Yes, I’m better now. Much better.”

He grabbed me for another hug. “Okay, let me get you home, then.”

I texted Shelby on our way to his car, letting her know I didn’t need a ride. I was so relieved we had worked it out. I knew I had to try to always be honest with Easton or this just wasn’t going to work. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like for me if it didn’t. I already loved him. I was so relieved that he wasn’t going to leave me, I felt dizzy. I couldn’t imagine how awful that would have been. I never wanted life to go back to the dull, pathetic way it was before I met him. He was quickly becoming the most important person in my life. As scary as that felt, I was really going to try to do the things he asked, but I knew it would be difficult.

I’ve never been a big sharer of my feelings. In my family, it was hard enough to have any privacy. Everyone seemed to know everything about everyone. I had to work to keep what I could to myself. Except with Daisy. I told her all my secrets. She was a great secret-keeper. Obviously a little too good. Since her murder, I hadn’t found anyone I wanted to share any of my secrets with. Now, maybe Easton could be that person. I had made a considerable effort in keeping all of my difficulties, like my panic attacks, from everyone. It was going to be interesting to try to change that now.

The rest of the week was fairly uneventful, with the exception of all the whispers and staring. Not very many people had the nerve to ask about Daisy, and the ones who did were pretty nice about it. No one was overly sympathetic. I definitely didn’t feel the weight of pity. I think that because it hadn’t happened in Lafayette and two years had passed it wasn’t the same as before. I didn’t feel as pathetic. People were more curious than anything. Surprisingly, getting over that hurdle was easier than I could have thought possible. I still felt some coolness coming from Raquel’s direction. It was as if she didn’t trust me now, but I understood that. I would just have to work hard to earn that trust back.

#

The football team had their first away game on Friday, and my mom actually let me go. We all loaded onto a school bus. It was a lot of fun, even though I didn’t speak to Easton until after the game. Even then, it was brief. We were all waiting by their bus when the team arrived, after winning the game by a landslide. We whooped and hollered appropriately, of course. When Easton saw me, he picked me up and twirled me around. Then he drew me a little ways away from the crowd and put his arms around me. I was in my happy place.

“I wish I could ride home from the game with you, but I have to go with the team. No girls allowed.” He grimaced.

“It’s okay. I’m with the girls, and we’ve had a good time. I’ll probably just fall asleep anyway.”

“Well, that sounds like the bus I want to be on. Not stuck with a bunch of smelly football players.”

“I’m sure you’ll be fine.” I laughed. I did really wish we could ride back together. This week, it had been difficult to find time to spend together with practices and homework.

“Well, I was wondering, will your momma let you go out tomorrow night too? I mean, on a real date. You know—a nice dinner, like a real couple? With me?”

I giggled. “Oh, with you? I don’t know. I thought you were talking about some other guy. I don’t know if that would work.”

He gave me a look. “All right, Miss Smart Mouth, we’ll just see. I guess I’ll have to call your momma myself. Maybe
she’ll
go out with me without any sass.” He was grinning.

“Well, since she thinks you’re all that, I’m sure it won’t be a problem. You don’t have to call her. I’ll ask when I get home.”

A real date with him. Nobody else around. Just the two of us. It sounded perfect. Would my mom let me go? Well, no way to find out until I asked. She really did think Easton was great. It didn’t hurt that Lily and Caedan adored him. It was hard not to be impressed with how naturally he had fit into our family.

When he gave me a hug, there were catcalls and whistles coming from the windows of the bus. Then we heard the coach’s voice from the door. “Ward, I hate to interrupt your love life here, but seeing as you are a captain, I thought you might want to be on the bus with the rest of your team when it leaves.”

Easton put his forehead on mine. He groaned. “Gotta go.” He kissed my cheek and took off at a jog.

“Comin’, Coach. I was just kissin’ my girl after our big win.” He turned and blew me a kiss while he hung out the bus door. My heart was racing. Would I ever get used to his charming hotness? My guess was no.

When I got home, my mom was waiting up. Wasn’t she tired? I knew she had worked all day. I never figured out how she functioned on so little sleep all the time. She was, however, looking so much better—even in just the few weeks we had been here. Her skin looked healthier, and she had put on a little weight. She didn’t look like a refugee anymore. I couldn’t believe how much our lives had changed for the better since arriving in Lafayette. All my worrying turned out to be for nothing. Moving here had been a good choice.

I sat down with my mom on the couch to catch the last of
Letterman
.

“Did you have fun at the game, sweetie?”

“Yeah, it was really good. We won. Easton played really well.” If I couldn’t brag to my mom, who could I brag to?

“I’m sure he did. Everything that boy does is amazing, right?” She was grinning at me.

“Umm, yeah. Pretty much.” It felt weird to talk to my mom about Easton, but I had to tell somebody.

I always hesitated to bring up my dad, but I wanted to know if all these feelings I was having were normal. Is love this uncomfortable? So up and down? I wanted to ask her these questions, but I wasn’t sure that she wouldn’t get all overprotective.

“Did you feel like that about Dad when you started dating?”

She laughed. “Oh yes. Your father was quite a charmer. Don’t you remember? Even the ladies in the grocery store would be practically swooning by the time we left. I was crazy for him. The accent didn’t hurt either.” She looked almost embarrassed.

“I have never seen you charmed by anyone, Mom. I can’t believe that worked on you.” I was laughing now. I couldn’t imagine my mom feeling about someone the way I did about Easton. Weird.

“Well, believe it. It happens to the best of us. I learned my lesson, though. There needs to be more than a charming personality under all those good looks. Trust me.” She sighed.

“Mom, was it really that bad?” I was starting to get annoyed. I know my dad had issues, but he loved us. I also knew it wasn’t always enough.

“No, sweetie, it wasn’t, and that was part of the problem. Your Easton, however, is the real deal. I don’t say that lightly. You know that. He’s a great kid. I’m happy he realizes what an amazing girl you are.” She reached over and squeezed my hand. Time to go in for the kill while she was feeling warm and fuzzy.

“So, speaking of Easton, he asked if he can take me out to dinner tomorrow night. Just the two of us. Is that okay? We’ll be in by curfew.” I put on my best puppy-dog face.

She looked thoughtful for a moment. “I’m sure that’s fine. Where’s he taking you?”

“He texted me the name and address on our way home. I’ll forward it to you. Thanks, Mom.” I got up from the couch. “I’m goin’ to bed. Love you.”

I looked at her before turning to go upstairs. She really was beautiful. I was sad she was still alone. Maybe I should start looking for someone nice for her. Hmmm…

#

When Easton picked me up the next night, I wasn’t nervous—just excited to be spending time with him alone. It seemed like whenever we were together, someone else was always there. When we got in the car after the expected interrogation by my mother, we just sat for a second. He turned in his seat to face me. “Hi.”

“Hi.” I smiled at him.

“I missed you.”

“Since yesterday?”

“Yup.” He leaned in and kissed me. My heart did funny little jumps in my chest. He pulled away after not long enough and grinned. “Jasmine, you look amazing tonight. I am going to have to chase the other guys off with a stick.” He started the car and pulled away from my house.

I hated when he said this stuff to me. It was nice, but it made me feel so uncomfortable. “I know you Southern boys feel it necessary to always be complimenting girls, but you don’t have to do that. I know how plain I am. Daisy was the beautiful one. I got the height. It’s fine with me. I don’t like standing out. Being the jolly blonde giant is enough.”

He chuckled. “It shocks me how clueless you are about your own looks. It’s one of the things I love about you. Most girls are completely self-absorbed.” He shook his head.

“I think you just felt sorry for the new girl. You were probably one of those kids who brought home the ugliest stray dogs and cats and begged to keep them, weren’t you?” I poked him in the arm.

“You think I felt sorry for you? Huh. Interesting.” He nodded. “So, you know when your cross-country team runs on the track during football practice?”

“Sure. My favorite. I love running in front of you and all your buddies. Good times,” I snarked.

“Have you looked up in the bleachers lately, Princess Oblivious?” He was grinning.

“Umm… no. Kinda focused on not falling on my face. Why?”

“You haven’t noticed that the large crowd of guys watching keeps getting bigger?”

“You’re making that up. And even if it’s true, it isn’t because of me.” I scowled at him. Now I was getting annoyed.

“Right. I’m sure it doesn’t have anything to do with the addition of the gorgeous leggy blonde running around the track, looking way too attractive in her running shorts and tank top. Trust me—they aren’t there to watch football.”

“Okay, you, that’s it. Give me your phone. I’m calling your aunt.”

“She would back me up on this one. If those guys don’t stop drooling every time you run by, I’m gonna have to teach them a lesson in manners.” He looked stern.