Breathe (8 page)

drinkers. Most—like the woman hitting on Dark Eyes—not knowing how to tell the

difference between the two. The Friday night crowd was more animated than the

last night Jay had been in. A group of couples danced near the back wall, creating a

makeshift dance floor. There was a different bartender on duty, the television and

music overhead were louder, but the same old man sat sipping whiskey near the

restrooms.

Jay drank more of his beer and waited. It wouldn"t take long.

By the time he finished the beer, the bar stool next to Dark Eyes was empty,

the chatty blonde desperate for a free drink—and possibly more—had moved on.

Jay waved for another beer, dropped onto the stool, and said, “Hey.”

Dark Eyes ignored him and stood.

Apparently Jay sucked at the flirting thing. Which made sense. He hadn"t

dated many girls. The only one other than Katie had been a fellow classmate he"d

agreed to go to the homecoming dance with his junior year during the five weeks he

and Katie had their one breakup.

Dark Eyes removed his jacket, laid the leather over the bar, and sat again. The

muscles of his arm flexed as he lifted the glass for a drink. The hint of a tattoo

peeked out from under the T-shirt"s sleeve. An outline of an eagle feather.

“Do I know you?” Dark Eyes asked.

He"d forgotten.

And here Jay was picturing what it would be like to blow the guy. He"d always

wanted to know. Always imagined he"d like sucking cock and couldn"t stop dreaming

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of doing it to Dark Eyes since the man had walked out of the bar the other night.

Was it because Jay knew Dark Eyes was gay?

No. This guy was a total turn-on for him. He"d only been sitting next to the

man long enough for one smoke, and already all Jay"s fantasies were roaring to life.

“I uh…I was in here the other night.”

“I remember,” Dark Eyes said. “Saw you outside the night before that too.

Thought maybe I"d seen you somewhere else, though.” He slid the bowl of peanuts

toward Jay.

Jay stilled the spinning bowl. “Don"t think so. I"d remember meeting you.”

Heat rose in his cheeks.
Shut up
! But did he want to? He nodded to the TV. “You

watching the game?”

“Nah. I gave up last half.”

“Guess I didn"t miss much excitement, then. I had to work late.”

Dark Eyes removed one hand from his glass. He made like he was going to

take a drink. “Where do you work?” The question came out in a rush before the

glass hit his lips.

“Stacking loads at McNeil"s Lumber Yard.” Jay made eye contact with the

man. Neither looked away. A nervous jolt shot from his gut to his groin. “It"s a shit

job, but I"m lucky to have it. I was going to college but, I…uh, I had to quit. And

since they won"t let you teach high school history without a college degree, or a

teacher"s license for that matter, I"m stuck with whatever pays the bills.”

Dark Eyes let go of his drink and turned on the stool a fraction of an inch in

Jay"s direction. The slight curve of his lips wasn"t as unnerving as the intense stare.

Jay kept talking. “History"s always been my thing. Since I was a kid. Everyone

thinks I"m crazy for wanting to teach high schoolers, but there"s a lot we can learn

from history.” And why was he sharing any of this?

The grin on the other man"s face grew. “You always talk this much?”

Jay shrugged and sipped the beer he"d forgotten he had. “I don"t know.” He

laughed. That statement was worth a laugh—the first real one in over a year—

considering Todd"s recent comments about how he hadn"t been talking much

anymore.

“What"s funny?” Dark Eyes asked.

“Nothing. What do you do?”

“Just started over at the steel plant. Used to drive loads for them years back.”

Dark Eyes gripped his glass again, clutching it in one hand. The other joined the

first until he held on to it with both hands. What would those hands feel like when

they touched Jay"s body? His ass? His dick? What would those arms feel like

wrapped around him? How would the skin of that neck taste? What would that dark

hair feel like when he grasped the man"s head in his hands while Dark Eyes blew

him?

Breathe

37

Jay breathed deep. Fantasies…just a fantasy. He wasn"t ready for anything

physical with anyone. Was he?

Before that week, he hadn"t been ready for so much as a one-night stand.

When he let himself get close to someone, all his thoughts would turn to Katie and

every sexual moment they"d spent together. He hadn"t wanted to go there, especially

not for a quick fuck to please his cock.

Had that changed?

His body was ready, but was he?

Maybe someday…a roll in the hay with a woman. Maybe even with a guy.

Might be nice to know if all those fantasies had been leading him on about what he

wanted—or whom he wanted it with. But not yet. Not after only a year.

Then why had he sat next to the guy in the first place? Why had he looked for

the man?

Dark Eyes leaned his upper body in close, almost touching Jay"s arm. That

rattled him out of his trance. Damn, he"d been staring at the man for too long. The

husky whisper as Dark Eyes spoke did nothing to aid Jay in regaining his

concentration.

“Quit looking at me like that, kid. Unless you"re willing to back it up.”

Oh God. Maybe the flirting had gone better than Jay thought.

The only sexual experience he had other than Katie was the ten-minute fuck

in the back of Christy Harper"s car on homecoming night. He"d gotten off, but it

hadn"t been anything special. He"d put every last minute of it out of his mind as

soon as he and Katie had made up.

The weeks they"d spent apart were the worst weeks of his life until a year ago.

No. The worst part was telling Katie about what he"d done with Christy. Katie

had gone on her own date, and Jay hated hearing about the kissing and groping

she"d done. He could only imagine how much it hurt Katie to listen to his confession

about his backseat “date.” He made a promise to himself as he drove her home that

night, both of them sitting in the front seat of the Jeep in silence. He"d never hurt

her again. Never cheat again. Even though she said he hadn"t technically cheated

and she understood how it had happened, it sure had felt as though he"d been

unfaithful. He never wanted to feel that way again. Never wanted any other person

pleasuring him. Only her.

And now here he was hoping another guy was interested in him.

How had he given this guy the right signals? Or the wrong ones? And how was

he supposed to respond?

Jay licked his dry lips and forced his attention on the TV above the bar.

Commercials. Something with beer and babes in bikinis. How apropos.

“Kid.” That one word in the low, deep voice had him facing Dark Eyes again.

Jay barely heard the whispered command over the sound of the country music.

“Give it a few minutes, then meet me out back.” Dark Eyes stood, threw some

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Sloan Parker

wadded cash onto the bar, grabbed his coat, and exited out the back entrance that

led to the rear parking lot. The music and crowd in Sonny"s muffled the bang of the

door closing behind Dark Eyes.

Jay turned to the bar. He needed to leave. Out the front entrance. Now.

Why wouldn"t his legs help him out? He guzzled his beer in four tries, dropped

the bottle onto the bar, and stood. What the hell?

He walked toward the back door at a quick clip, hoping no one knew where he

was going.

Or why.

Breathe

39

Chapter Seven

Jay pushed open Sonny"s door and stepped outside. The crisp night air rushed

toward him. Maybe it would cool him down.

Or maybe not.

Dark Eyes gripped his arm at the same time the country music cut off with the

close of the door behind him. Jay tripped over his own feet but couldn"t stop moving

toward the other man even if he wanted to, and he didn"t.

“Come here.” Dark Eyes pulled at Jay until they stopped beside a wooden

structure that jutted out the back of the bar.

The man"s hand on Jay"s arm was warm, even through his jacket, and had him

forgetting the cold snow his tennis shoes burrowed into. The building blocked the

wind, but the chill in the air should have cut through him. It didn"t. Not with Dark

Eyes touching him, staring at him. Heat built up everywhere. Jay"s face, his hands,

his cock.

He didn"t flinch as the other man moved in to his space and kept coming at

him until only an inch of air separated their chests, their lips, their groins.

“If I"m wrong here,” Dark Eyes said, “tell me to fuck off. No trouble.”

Words wouldn"t come. Jay raised a hand, seized the man"s right hip, and

tugged him forward. Their groins mashed one against the other, and the pressure

on his cock overcame any worry about what he was doing. Jay wanted the man"s

mouth on his.

Their lips joined, mouths opened, and the wet heat of their tongues combined.

The smooth slide of that simple touch had another surge of lust flooding Jay"s body.

There was no denying the roughness of the kiss, the brush of facial hair on his chin,

the pressure of strong lips covering his, the persistence of tongue that demanded a

taste. Like no kiss he"d ever had, like no kiss with—

No. He had to live in the moment. Had to stay right where he was. Looking

back would end it. No way could he enjoy the man kissing him if he let anything

else in.

So he didn"t. He wrapped an arm around Dark Eyes and let the desire engulf

him, let his tongue explore the other man"s mouth.

A man
. He could not believe he was doing this. But he didn"t want it to end. He

longed to grab hold of the other man and fuck him until the relief he craved

overtook him and exhaustion settled in. And that scared the shit out of him. He

shouldn"t be so out of control.

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Sloan Parker

Dark Eyes shifted. His erection pressed against Jay"s own. Like nothing Jay

had imagined. Better than all the fantasies, and they were fully clothed, standing in

the damn snow plowed against the building. Dark Eyes came in closer. He clutched

Jay"s ass and massaged. It seemed like forever since Jay had been touched like that,

since he"d been touched at all. Their bodies drove together. Their tongues worked in

a caress that deepened with every second.

Jay tightened his grip, one hand on the man"s hip, the other around his neck.

He fell into the sensations, the thrust of hips, the slow slide of the man"s hands

running over his ass, the scent of beer and sweat and musky cologne. Nothing

flowery or sweet. Strong. Masculine.

Dark Eyes pulled back and rested his forehead against Jay"s temple. “This isn"t

the safest place to do this, but…Jesus, you can kiss. And it"s been too damn long.”

“For me too.” Jay crushed his mouth over the other man"s.

Their bodies moved with an urgency that spoke volumes about how long it had

been. For both of them. Dark Eyes brushed a hand over Jay"s aching cock and

opened his jeans.

Jay grabbed the man"s arms and shoved him backward. “Wait. Wait. Let me

think for a minute.” The muscles in those strong arms jumped under Jay"s hands.

Dark Eyes searched his face in the low light of the streetlamp. “You"ve never

been with a man.”

Jay dropped his hands and wiped them on his jeans. “I was married at

nineteen.”

“Divorced?”

“No.” He stared at their footprints in the snow. If anyone looked closely at the

overlapping, muddled prints, they"d know what the two of them were doing. He

whispered, “Cancer.” He couldn"t manage more than that. Why had he lied? Because

it was easier than the truth. Saying how she had really left him was too real, too

horrific to repeat. Or to remember.

“But I didn"t read you wrong?” Dark Eyes asked.

Jay gave up on the snow and met the man"s gaze. “Nah.”

“Most guys who figure it out too late usually step out on their wives.”

“I loved her.”

Dark Eyes leaned against the brick wall perpendicular to Jay and watched

him.

“She knew I was…” Words escaped Jay. Or maybe that one word. He"d never

said it before. “She knew. But I never cheated. I just thought about stuff.”

“Stuff?”

“Stuff I wanted to do.”

“I see.” Dark Eyes swept a hand through the hair at the nape of Jay"s neck. He

raised an eyebrow. “Want some of that stuff to come true? Want me to kiss you

again?”

Breathe

41

“Yes. Please.” Begging? Jay"s control was slipping away. But kissing the man,

touching him, nothing had felt so right, not since—

Dark Eyes ran his hands lower, returning to the front of Jay"s jeans.