Breaking Joseph (37 page)

“I’m really not
going to.”

“Not going to
what?” asked Matt. He held a tray of coffees in one hand and
brushed freshly washed hair from his eyes with the other.

“Sleep with
you,” Aidan said helpfully.

He lowered his
eyes, blushing furiously. “I’m sure I’ll cope.”

Change the
subject! “You’re early.”

“Yeah, well…did
all my moving this week, so thought I might as well come and help
out.”

I smiled up at
him as I passed. “Thank you. You’ve met Clemmie, right?”

“No, actually.”
He gave her a little wave. “Nice to meet you, though.”

Her eyes lit up
as she fluttered painted nails back. “You too. Finally.”

I helped myself
to a coffee and picked the lid off to smear my finger with
foam.

“I heard that
Poppy and Isobel were dealt with,” Matt said, staring at me.

Aidan looked
up. “Lei-Lei! Spill at once.”

“Oh. Right.” I
was so embarrassed by what Joseph had done–for me?–that revealing
felt greasy and self-indulgent. “Poppy got seconded to
Kazakhstan.”

The boys
blinked at me and then crumpled in on each other.

“Oh God. Oh
God,” Aidan guffawed. “Is nice, is vay good there!”

“That’s
classic!” Matt had to steady himself against the counter. “Is it
for real?”

“Yep.” I
couldn’t stop the grin from claiming my face. “And she’s going with
Yves.”

Matt slapped
the counter and Clemmie nearly jumped half a foot in the air.

“Who’s Yves?”
she asked.

“Very drunk,
smug, pervy partner.” Also annoying and unprofessional, but with
too many years’ service to disappear quietly. “They’ve only done it
to get rid of him without causing any problems.”

“Serves her
right, then,” Clemmie said.

“She thought
she was going to New York with Joseph,” I added.

“She thought
she was going to bone him like, bow-chick-a-wow-wow,” Aidan
crooned, pretending to spank an invisible arse.

Matt pursed his
lips dubiously and I remembered that he’d tried to sleep with Poppy
at the Christmas party, when drunk. We exchanged knowing looks and
he winced in embarrassment.

“And what about
Joseph’s ex?” said Clemmie, layering bacon on to rolls. “What
happened with her in the end?”

“Suffice to say
that, erm…it turns out the relationship wasn’t as good as it
looked,” I said, “and half the office is aware of an unsavoury
habit of hers.”

Aidan gave a
knowing nod. “She misfires during anal.”

“Something like
that.”

I took the
sandwiches out to the removal men with steaming cups of tea. Matt
gave some sort of sermon on brown sauce, but after the anal
comment, Clemmie could not be tempted.

Dad arrived not
long after and we waved off the van before jumping into the
lift.

“Mr Vaughn.”
Clemmie stood on tiptoe to give him a kiss. “It’s been ages!”

“Look at you,
eh!” He gestured to her. “You make me feel old.”

“That’s because
you are old, Dad.” I thrust a bacon sandwich into his hand before
he could reprimand me. “You’ve met Matt. This is my friend
Aidan.”

Dad shook hands
with Aidan, and then Matt. “You’re being very good to Leila,” he
said, nodding appreciatively. “We can’t thank you enough.”

“It’s no
bother,” Matt insisted.

“Have you and
Mum found a house yet?” I asked.

He paused to
squirt brown sauce on his roll. “We put an offer in yesterday, as
it happens. Ten minutes from the village, massive garden. Office
for your mother.”

“Oh? What does
she need one of those for?”

“She’s going
back to uni,” he said drily.

“That will be
nice for you.” I sniggered. “What about you, what are you going to
do?”

“I might be
teaching at the college, actually. Agricultural stuff.” He looked
bright, positive; I hadn’t seen him relaxed in so long. I almost
hugged him on the spot.

“Anyway,” I
said, “I’m going to get my keys sorted for Clem.”

“I’ll do this
some justice,” he held his sandwich up. “We’ll be off soon,
yes?”

Matt refilled
his plate. “There’s no rush.”

“I can only
keep the car outside for forty minutes,” Dad explained.

Matt squinted
at his watch and then peered through the window. “Oh. Okay
then.”

I wandered
about the flat, checking drawers and cupboards for forgotten bits
and pieces. I ran cleaning wipes around the bathroom again and then
stared into the mirror, straightened my hair; wondered which side I
was on now.

I was too numb
to tell.

“Lei-Lei?” I
jumped as Aidan put his head around the door. “Are you okay?”

“Kind of.”

“Come here.” He
folded me into one of his crippling hugs. “You’re going to be fine
down there. Fabulous, in fact.”

“Promise?” I
sniffed.

“Oh, don’t be
such a silly madam. I’ll come and see you soon, okay? It sounds
like Salisbury needs a serious ginger cock injection, anyway.”

“You won’t be
allowed if you talk like that!” I was half laughing, half crying;
already pulled in two different ways. “Where’s Matt?”

“He’s gone to
get his car.”

“Just worried
about Dad cornering him. He and Mum think we’re about to get
married.” I sighed.

“Give it a
little while and everybody will stop joking about that. Really.
Even me,” he added, squeezing me. “You might even find yourself a
proper boyfriend there.”

“I
had
a
proper boyfriend, cheers.”

“I don’t see
him around this morning,” he said pointedly.

I shrugged. “I
was too late.” The rabbit and his pip-teeth flashed before me.
Shudder.

“Can I join the
luvvie session?” Clemmie teased us apart. “Leila, you moose. Why
are you crying?”

“Because!” I
pushed my face into her shoulder.

“Stop it.
You’ll make me…” Her voice wobbled and then she joined me with
great, fat tears. “It’s a good job this mascara is waterproof.”

“Why are you
wearing mascara this early? You whore,” I sobbed. “You make me look
bad.”

Aidan slid out
quietly, leaving us alone.

“I do not.
You’re the one they pay hundreds for, remember?”

I pulled back
to wipe my eyes. “Thousands, sometimes.”

“Gosh.
Really?”

“Really.” I
started laughing again, steadying myself against her.

“Maybe I need
to start working with Aidan,” she mused, looking shocked.

“Don’t be
ridiculous.” I caught sight of myself in the mirror and grimaced.
“Clem, have you got your bag of tricks with you?”

She put her
hands on her hips. “Always. Do you want me to sort you out?”

“How can you
tell?”

“I figured you
don’t want to turn up at Matt’s looking like a prisoner of war, or
something.”

“Charming.
Slutface,” I grumbled. “Be gone with you. Work your magic!”

Aidan and Dad
filled the car with the remains of my belongings, and Clemmie made
me look presentable with tickling brushes and smooth serum.

“I’ve only just
noticed,” she said suddenly, “but you’re wearing jeans.”

“Do you
approve?” I turned to flash the designer label.

She clucked her
tongue. “If I’d have known, I’d have asked you to get me a
pair!”

I took a deep
breath and ventured into the living area. It was ridiculous,
really. I’d be back to visit Clemmie, if nothing else. Can you
grieve for a space? Not just the memories it contains but the
bricks and mortar, the dents your pretty heels have left in the
wooden floor.

“All set?” Dad
asked.

“I think so. Is
everything packed?”

“Everything but
the kitchen sink.” He smiled sympathetically. “Come on, let’s get
you into the car. Might as well.”

“Mattman’s
still not here.” Aidan tutted. “Shall I ring him?”

“Why’s it
taking so long to get his car?” I wondered.

“Maybe he’s
having a wank or something.” Aidan clocked that my Dad was still in
the room and shrank into himself, mortified. “Sorry, sorry, Mr
Vaughn.”

Dad cleared his
throat. “Well,” he said eventually, “can’t beat a good clear out of
the pipes, eh?”

“Dad!”

“What?” He
folded his arms. “I was that age once, you know.”

“Don’t worry,
Mr Vaughn,” Aidan patted him on the back with a very straight face.
“You’re still hot.”

“Why thank you,
Aidan.”

“I’m going,” I
announced. “There’s a bit of sick in my throat.”

“I’ll ring
Mattman,” Aidan said helpfully. “Maybe it’ll be the start of a
beautiful phone sex relationship.”

“I’ll cross my
fingers for you.” Clemmie did something vulgar with her hands and I
gawped at her. Bloody Aidan–he was a terrible influence.

We all piled
into the lift and I watched the floors tick by; three, two, one.
Dad was parked a few feet down the road and I paused at the
entrance to give Clemmie and Aidan final hugs.

“You look after
my bachelorette pad.” I pressed warm keys into Clemmie’s hands.
“Make me proud.”

“I will,” she
promised.

“You–” I
prodded Aidan in the chest. “Look after Clemmie. And don’t ever hit
on my Dad again, it’s disgusting.”

“I needed a
decent recovery,” he protested, squidging me again. “Woo! Here’s
the Mattmobile.”

Matt pulled up
next to Dad’s car and climbed out to join us. “Nice to meet you
again.” He shook Clemmie’s hand. “And Aid.”

They slapped
each other’s backs in a revolting display of man love.

“Back soon for
a jam sesh?” Aidan said.

“Cockspank? Oh,
yes.” Matt grinned. “I’ll bring my synthesizer.”

“It’s a
deal.”

“Come on,” Dad
said, appearing beside us. “I was meant to leave two minutes
ago!”

Matt checked
his watch again. “Sorry. Was…chatting to Tobe.”

I eyed him
suspiciously for a moment and he shrugged, looking clueless.

“Goodbye then,”
I said. “For now.”

“I’m not saying
it,” Clemmie retorted. “I’ll call you later, okay?”

Dad nudged my
shoulder and I sighed. “Okay, okay. Let’s get going, then.”

We climbed into
the car and I fastened my seatbelt, checking my newly applied
makeup in the mirror. We were following Matt and he seemed to take
forever to pull out.

“Young
drivers,” Dad grumbled.

“He’s probably
putting on some god-awful music.” I peered at him through the
window as he swung past, as if I might see the windows
vibrating.

“Well, then.
Off to Salisbury.” Dad put his foot down and I waved to Clemmie and
Aidan. It was still surreal seeing them together, let alone
thinking that Clem would soon live in my flat. Did she know she’d
have a lodger named Charlotte?

My lids sank
down with the weight of the morning, of the dream the night before.
This was it, then. On to another life and perhaps a different
Leila.

I would miss
the old one more than I should.

We were barely
at the end of the road when my phone buzzed in the depths my
handbag. I tapped the screen with a sad little smile, expecting it
to be Clemmie. Silly cow.

Don’t look so
fucking miserable. J

I snapped up,
twisted around and stared back at my building. The pulse of a drunk
drummer thundered in my ears. No sign of Aidan’s red ringlets or
Clemmie’s shiny mop. Just cars, wheelie bins, shrubs…

…and a very
familiar, tall blond man.

“Dad.”
OhGodohGodohGod. “Stop the car.”

He frowned.
“Eh?”

“Stop the car!”
I wound the window down feverishly and stared, surveyed, needed to
be sure I wasn’t imagining him. “Please…”

“Did you forget
something?” The gears groaned as he pulled up to the curb.

“In a fashion.”
I tumbled out on my flats. Was it undignified to run? Would it–

“Leila.” His
voice carried over the ten feet that separated us. He had that glow
about him, even in clothes, and the sun anointed him as if it
finally approved.

I ran.

With a skid, I
landed somewhere against his shoulder and then on his mouth, warm
and hungry. He took my hair in fistfuls to ease me back.

“Calm down.” He
chuckled. “There’s no rush.”

“Speak for
yourself. You sod.” Squeeze, squeeze. I had to reacquaint myself
with the contours of his body before he got snatched away again.
“Did you come to say goodbye properly?”

He chewed his
lip. “Depends. I don’t think I made my case very well.”

Breath stuck in
my throat. “Are you withholding evidence from me, Mr Merchant?”

He dropped his
head to whisper. “I realized…I realized that I’m in love with a
very good lawyer.” The words were barely there above the buzz of
the street, but he said them. They cost him more than he’d ever
budgeted for this madam, I think. Joseph mashed his forehead to
mine and it was cool, damp, gorgeous. “Do you?”

“Joe. Don’t be
such a moron.” The smile made my face ache, but it was worth it.
“Of course I love you.”

His kiss was a
tease and a loaded precursor. “Fuck. I’m glad that’s over with.” He
laughed and bit his lip. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. About…everything,
ah–”

“Even the
rabbit?”

“Even the…well,
aside from your cryptic shite. For that, I need a translator.
You
possibly need a therapist.”

“Says the man
who doesn’t believe in any of that.” I grinned.

“There’s more
than one type of therapy.” He nudged me away gently. “Leila.”

Dad leaned
against the car with his arms folded and his face screwed in mild
disapproval.

Matt stood a
few feet behind him.

Crap.

Matt shrugged
again, his smile sad and rueful, and then it hit me like a fist to
the gut.

“You.” I
hurried up to him. “You knew about this, didn’t you?”

He cringed.
“Was it that obvious?”