Breaking Even (22 page)

“You’re not going to Rain’s party with George,” he murmurs against my lips, nipping at my bottom lip playfully before pulling back.

“Wasn’t planning on it,” I say, admittedly a little breathless after that.

“Good.” He grins, and we both look up to see Ash with tears in her eyes and her mouth turned up in a painful smile.

Pregnancy hormones must be a bitch.

“You two are together now?”

Sheesh. Why does everyone want to push for some sort of promise of a relationship?

“We’re going to the party together,” Rye says, and then he shifts uncomfortably before turning to me. “Unless you don’t want to go with me.”

I fight so damn hard to contain the little girl scream that wants to escape me, but I can’t hold off my grin. “I want to.”

He nods and turns back to Ash. “Go away. And take George’s date proposal with you.”

She laughs while wiping a tear away, and then she sighs happily. She waves and walks off, seeming all too chipper.

“You came to ask me out?” I ask, turning toward him. “A phone call would have sufficed.”

I’m doing all I can to seem casual. His grin returns as he leans down and kisses me again, but he pulls away before I can deepen it.

“I came to see the museum. I’ve never been here before. I want a tour.”

It’s hard for me not to be hopeful when he does and says stuff like this. “Then let me be your tour guide.”

He smiles as he puts his arm around me, and I breathe in easily. He makes breathing so much better. But what will it be like when we’re in front of everyone who expects him to be with someone like the girls they keep setting him up with?

***

RYE

“You two look good together,” Wren says, grinning his shit-eating grin that might as well say
I told you so.

I don’t say anything as Brin returns with Ash, walking across the dance floor and avoiding the drunken crowd the best they can. Ash gets stopped and pulled toward the bar by someone, but Brin continues her venture toward me.

“How does your car drive?” Wren asks her, a lilt to his voice as she sits down next to me.

I put my arm around her and she leans in, making all the shit I’ve caught from Wren and Tag worth it.

“Like a dream,” Brin says with her adorable grin that makes me swell with pride.

I put that smile there.

I can’t stop myself from leaning down and kissing her, wishing we didn’t have so many people around. It’s not supposed to feel this good.

She kisses me back, but she pulls away when I try to push for more. I frown, and she laughs while wiping at my mouth, probably removing her lipstick from me again. Why is she wearing that shit?

In fact, she doesn’t look like she normally does. Her dress is tighter, and it’s a bold pink color she doesn’t usually wear. Even though it’s sexy on her, it’s not her. I prefer the cute shorts or innocent sundresses she wears. Her heels are higher, her makeup is heavier, and her hair is styled to perfection with curls that had to have taken hours to put into her very straight hair. It sort of pisses me off, though I don’t know why.

“Rye Clanton has a girlfriend. Never thought I’d see the day,” Ethan Noles says as he joins us in the booth.

Brin tenses just as I do, but I’m more surprised by his presence than worried about his words. “When the hell did you get into town?” I ask, smiling at the bastard who has been my best friend since elementary school.

“Just a few minutes ago. I’m here for a month or two this time. Dane called and told me Rain’s party was tonight. Thought I’d stop by and see my cousin on her birthday. Then I make it through the door only to hear everyone talking about the two of you. Had to come see it for myself.”

He looks Brin over, pursing his lips as though he’s curious. I refuse to let him ruin this moment with too much reality. Brin is stiff as a board, proving this is making her uncomfortable, too.

“We’re not a couple,” she finally says, and he tilts his head more, smiling as he leans back.

“Looks like he’s wearing your shade,” he says, turning his eyes back to me.

I wipe my lips where there’s still pink lipstick apparently. I really wish she’d just get rid of that shit. It makes kissing a pain in the ass.

“They’re neighbors and friends,” an oddly familiar voice says with sarcasm as the redhead I turned down crawls into the booth beside Ethan.

He grins as he looks her over, and I swallow hard. Ah, shit. Drama. There will be drama. I hate drama.

Leah. Can the girl not take a hint?

Wren groans as he looks at me, worried like I am. A woman scorned is never a good thing.

“Looks like someone found Momma’s makeup bag,” the drunken version of Leah quips. What the hell?

Brin rolls her eyes and starts to back away, but I pull her to me. Ethan’s smile disintegrates when he takes in the situation.

“Alright, Red. Looks like someone should be going,” he says, pushing her out of the booth and trying to wave over security.

“You turned me down for her? For that?” she asks with disgust, fighting against Ethan who is seconds away from losing his temper.

He’ll launch her ass out of the booth if she keeps on.

“Yes I did,” I say without hesitation when Brin finally stands.

I start to go to her, but she just walks off. Leah follows immediately, and I stumble out of the booth, tripping over my own drunken feet.

Ethan mutters an, “Oh shit,” as he joins me in the chase.

But by the time we catch up, Brin is smiling, leaning against the bar as security drags out the screaming crazed girl. She watches and waves at Leah, and then she turns to grab a drink from the bartender. It’s then I notice Leah is soaking wet with a red mark across her face.

Did I just miss the good shit? Fuck.

“Shit,” Ethan groans. “How the hell did we miss that?”

I just laugh as I make my way over to Brin, but her smile has lost its depth. It seems forced now. Brittle even. I hate that smile.

“Did you slap her?” Ethan asks, whining almost.

Brin smirks while sipping her drink, and then she says, “Just a little tap. The drink in her face came from Ash.”

Ash walks up, moving away from the door where Leah was just hauled out. “I’ve really wanted to do that since she started calling Tag,” she gloats, smiling as she hands her cup to the bartender for some fresh water.

“Damn,” Wren says, joining us. “What’d I miss?”

We all pout, but Ash is the only one to laugh. Brin seems a thousand miles away. This is the sort of drama that I like to avoid. She’s upset but not talking about it. I didn’t invite Leah, but I didn’t tell her that Leah was still trying to get me to see her either.

“Why was she even here?” Wren asks, looking at Ash.

“Hell if I know. I certainly didn’t invite her. She must have heard us talking about it a couple of nights ago when Tag set her up with Rye.”

Brin’s lips tighten as she stares down at her drink. I wish I could see inside her head right now. I can’t tell if she’s pissed at me or just upset about what Leah said.

“Oh, so you two are newly together?” Ethan muses, looking between Brin and me.

She sighs while taking a napkin and wiping her lips, trying to get rid of that terrible shit I’ve hated all night.

“Dear God. We’re not together,” she growls, walking away from all of us.

“What the hell was that about?” Wren asks, glaring at me like it’s my fault.

Drama. Drama. Drama.

“Hell if I know.”

“This is the part where you go find out,” he prompts, giving me a shove in the direction that Brin went.

“You heard her. We’re not together. That’s boyfriend shit.”

He continues to glare at me like I’m an idiot, but I return the glower. “You’re making her feel like she’s not good enough,” Ash says, interrupting the stare down.

Fuck. “All I did was invite her here with me. She said yes. I’ve done nothing but—”

“Exactly,” she interrupts, looking so damn smug. “You’ve done
nothing
. You probably haven’t even told her what you expect from all of this. If you fuck someone you’re friends with, you have to talk to them. That’s how it works. Now go talk to her.”

***

BRIN

I would cry if it wouldn’t give me away. Why do I want to cry? I never cry—unless big, stupid, confusing idiots fix my car. Why won’t everyone just butt out of our business?

I contemplate calling a cab, and I even pull out my phone as I stare out at the ocean. My face is mostly clean now. I just spent ten minutes trying to scrub off the pounds of makeup I put on.

What was I thinking?

I know exactly what I was thinking. I tried to convince myself that I could get the Sterling sparkle through makeup, hair, and clothes. It doesn’t work that way. I looked exactly the same, only I looked like the girl playing dress-up, and Leah called me out on it.

I still can’t believe I slapped her. But when she chased me, yelling over the music that Rye had no standards, that he was a horny dumbass with no brains, I couldn’t help myself. I could deal with her slamming me, but my temper exploded when she started badmouthing him. I deserved what she said about me, because I stopped being
me
tonight.

I’m trying to convince the world that it’s okay for Rye—a guy who couldn’t be sexier if he tried—to want me. Why am I doing this to myself? What am I doing with him? This isn’t me.

“You going to keep hiding? If so, can I hide, too?” Rye asks from behind me, and I laugh humorlessly while dropping to the sand. I waited too long to call a cab. Just my luck.

“It’s a public beach,” I say through a sigh. “It’s hard to hide out here.”

He smiles tightly while coming to drop down beside me. “The new will wear off and they’ll start talking about something other than us. They’re just excited right now.”

This isn’t the conversation I expected. It’s actually completely different, and I almost kiss him to thank him. But then he opens his mouth again.

“Brin, I want to be honest.” Bubble is popping, reality is coming, and humiliation is waiting to pounce. “I don’t want a relationship. I really like this thing between us and how great yesterday was, but I keep things simple. I don’t think you want something simple. You deserve a hell of a lot more than that.”

Oh.
That’s the conversation I was expecting. And it sucks a lot worse than I thought it would. But I prefer the hard, cold, brutal truth, no matter how ugly it is.

“It’s fine, Rye. You can be honest. Don’t start trying to spare me by building me up and putting yourself down. I hate that speech. You keep acting as though I’m going to break every time someone makes me feel small, but I won’t. Never have. Never will. So stop.”

He smiles at me, and then he leans over and kisses me. He’s so damn confusing. His lips work against mine for a moment before his tongue slips in, and then he starts pulling me onto his lap.

“You think I’m lying?” he asks, slowly sliding the bottom of my dress up enough to put his hands on my ass.

Since I’m wearing the thongs, his hands find my skin, and I almost moan.

“I think you’re trying to keep me from getting my feelings hurt. Just like you always do. It’s sweet, but unnecessary.”

His tongue slips between my lips again, and he pulls me tighter to his body. “I’m not lying,” he says, barely parting his lips from mine. “I’m not sparing you. I’m telling you the truth. I’ve never done the relationship thing, and to be honest, I never cared. But you... I wish I could be that guy. I’ve been struggling with what to do all day.”

He takes a deep breath as his hand go to my hair, his fingers tangling in the threads, and his eyes study mine. Then he continues.

“But I’ll fuck up. I know I will. And then I’ll lose you. And I really, really like having you around. So I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep and have you hate me when I fuck up. I’m simple. You’re the girl who wants it all, and you sure as hell deserve it, Brin. I’m just not that kind of guy.”

He starts kissing my neck, contradicting his words. I can’t tell if he’s dumping me or begging me to tell him what he wants to hear. And he frigging claims to be simple.

So I do the only thing I know to do. I lie my ass off.

“I never had the chance to have fun, Rye. That’s all I want to do. I’ve only been divorced for a year, and I got married young. I’m not looking for a serious relationship. Have I said anything like that to you?”

He pulls back and stares me in the eyes again as he studies me under the moonlight.

“Are you being serious?” he asks after an eternity of silence.

“Very,” I lie again.

His lips almost bruise mine with the next hungry kiss, and my hands go to his hair. I’ve just thrown my heart into a blender. It won’t be long until the button is pressed and my heart is pureed. But I can’t just stop. Not when I’ve never felt like this with someone.

I don’t feel used. I don’t feel like a disappointment when he’s with me. And I don’t feel like the girl someone is passing the time with.

Even if it’s just an illusion, it feels like he wants to be with me as much as I want to be with him. And it’s hard to let go of something that I’ve always wanted to feel.

“Can we get out of here?” he asks, breaking the kiss and breathing just as heavily as I am.

“Please.”

He starts to stand, but stops, pulling me back down as he tugs at my dress. “And, Brin, don’t do this again.”

I have no idea what he’s talking about. “Don’t do what?”

“This. The hair, the lipstick, the dress you don’t really want to be wearing. I prefer the real Brin.”

That’s a relief, because I’m not overly fond of the fake Brin. I notice he doesn’t say anything about not wearing the slinky panties again, but I can give him that. Especially since I actually enjoy feeling his hands against my skin.

“I prefer being the real Brin. I just knew everyone else would be questioning why you were here with me. Just like Leah did.”

He runs his fingers over my arms, dragging them up and down in practiced motions.

“That’s bullshit. You’re beautiful when you’re just you.”

Okay. So that just makes it all worth it. I really don’t think anyone has ever called me beautiful, and I know I look like a dork grinning right now.