Breaking Even (17 page)

When his hands slide down my waist and start pushing my dress up, I don’t even think about stopping him. When his hands start sliding up the bare skin of my thighs, I pray he hurries. And when he brings our centers even closer, I wrap my legs around his waist to make us touch, and the friction becomes divine.

He groans and breaks off the kiss while pushing his forehead against mine, his body trembling slightly as he pants for the same breath I can’t catch. I’m frozen, stunned, and doing all I can to slow down my erratic heartbeat as my legs drop from his waist.

“You’re driving me fucking crazy,” he says in hushed tone before turning and walking away, leaving me feeling bereft and confused.

With unsteady legs, I leap off the counter and follow him out, unsure about what I’m going to say or do, but he’s gone. He just... left. What the hell just happened?

***

BRIN

“So he punches your date and then kisses you?” Maggie asks, looking just as confused as I feel.

“And then tells me I’m driving him fucking crazy. Don’t forget about that part.”

I drop my high heels to the floor of my bedroom and try not to think of the delicious smell he’s left behind on me.

My lips are still a little swollen from the breath-stealing kiss, and I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever think about anything else ever again. Why’d he have to go and kiss me?

“Any insight would be great,” I mumble when Maggie stays quiet.

“I’m as confused as you are. It’s times like these that I’m grateful I’m into women. Men are too fucking weird.”

I laugh humorlessly while scrubbing my face with my hands.

“Well, maybe... Hell, I don’t know,” she says, still at a loss.

What now?

Chapter 9

RYE

“Motherfucker!” I roar as piss splashes all around, and I’m forced to painfully cut it off mid-stream.

Some stupid fucking piece of clear plastic shit is on my toilet, blocking anything from getting in. I knew she did something! Damn it!

Peeling away the disgusting plastic wrap, I finish my morning piss, cursing the entire time. Why didn’t I think of that?

I climb inside the shower and flip it on. I’m in desperate need of a good shower now, thanks to the fucking piss bath she set me up for. I use the keypad on the side, turning on all the showerheads at the same time, but instead of a clean shower, I’m met by the damn sticky rainbow from hell.

Purple, orange, red, green, pink... all the colors collide like Lucky Charms just threw up, and I growl as I leap out, covered in the syrupy, grainy shit. What the fucking hell? Is that Kool-Aid?

When did she do this? How did she do this? I locked the window.

I’ve been trying to forget her, but right now she’s making that pretty impossible. After a few more seconds, the fruity rainbow ceases and clear water rushes out in its place. Fucking finally.

My shower takes longer since I have to wash off all the damn Kool-Aid, but I finish up and head straight for the coffee. I refuse to go to the living room until I have to because I know I’ll look across the street. She should be gone to work by now, and I can map out my payback plan.

The very thought strikes an uneasy chord in me. Did I ruin it all with that kiss? Can we just forget it happened?

The coffee finishes, and I add the sugar, stirring it absently as I think back to being between her legs, feeling her wanting me just as much as I wanted her. I’m forced to grip the edge of the counter and forget the coffee for a minute.

I’ve been in that same position numerous times, and I’ve never walked away. But until last night, I’ve never wanted anything that badly. And it’s freaking me the hell out.

I need liquor instead of coffee, but it’ll have to do—since I have work. I chug the cup, but I’m spewing, spitting, and gagging in the very next second. Son of a bitch!

I dump out the foul cup of coffee and grab the sugar. She
did not
just use the oldest trick in the book.

She did. A small taste confirms it; she swapped the sugar for salt.

Unbelievable.

My reflexes have me stalking toward the front door despite the fact that I’m just wearing my towel, but the second I open the door, I remember I can’t just show up over there and pretend nothing happened. What have I done?

Then I see her car still parked, looking untouched. She doesn’t have work today?

***

RYE

Why’d I have to go and kiss her? And why can’t I stop thinking about it? I could have said anything in this world and confused her less. Fuck, now I’m confused, too.

I feel... I feel stupid.

“You look like shit,” Tag says as he walks into my office.

“You look like a betraying bastard,” I retort, glaring at him as he sighs and drops to the chair.

He studies me for a minute, and then he finally leans up.

“When I met Ash, I wanted her. But in less than a day, I felt more for her than I had felt for any other girl. Insta-love? No. But I was definitely spellbound. I was a dick that didn’t want to feel that. By the time I was ready, I had already pushed her away. A lot of people judge her for her decision to hide our first pregnancy from me, but they shouldn’t.”

He stands and walks over to my mini-fridge to pull out a bottle of water, and I wait on this drama-fest to end. It’s not the same. It’s not even close, but he doesn’t know the sordid details of my hidden truths because I’ve never told him. The only friends of mine who know are Ethan Noles and Wren Prize.

Tag continues, and I let him, because I can’t tell him how different we are. “I had chances. I could have gone to her at any time. I knew where she was, had her number, and even wanted to see her, but I was too stubborn to admit it. We’re creatures of habit, and I think we both know what my habits involved at that time. One woman barely seemed sufficient. But when I finally gave in, I realized that what I thought I wanted was empty. Ash filled a void in my life that I didn’t know was there. I was just trying to do for you what no one—including Wren—did when I was in the same position. Guess I was wrong.”

Everyone stood by and watched the two of them fight each other. It wasn’t just him, and it wasn’t just her. But that’s not what’s going on here.

“I kissed her,” I blurt out, completely shocking us both because I have no fucking clue why I just admitted that. Tag’s eyes widen before he laughs.

“Then I guess it wasn’t a total waste,” he murmurs more to himself than to me.

“But I left. Brin isn’t the type you let into your bed for a little while. She’s a lifetime commitment, and I’m not a lifetime guy.”

Tag smiles, but it seems like he drifts off into memory land. “There was a time when I felt the same way.”

I appreciate what he’s trying to do, but I’m not him. I wish I was, but I’m not. His old fear of commitment didn’t stem from the same dark roots mine does.

I’ve seen the nasty side of love. I’ve seen it swallow people and destroy all their hope, their light, and their will to live. I couldn’t ever do that to someone and live with myself.

“We’re different,” I tell him, motioning between us. “Not all people can change.”

“If you manage to stop thinking about her, then maybe you’re right,” he says, offering me a tighter smile. “But if you can’t, then you might need to admit defeat. That’s all I came by to say. I should go. Let me know if you need anything.”

I just nod, and he walks out. I release a harsh breath that has been clogging up my lungs, and I turn to stare out the window to the pet store. Even that makes me think of her now. Brin didn’t go to work this morning, and I’m almost positive it’s because I fucked with her head last night.

How the hell do I dig myself out of this hole?

***

BRIN

“You’re not staying in bed all day,” Maggie gripes, ripping the cover off me for the third time.

“Can’t you just let a girl wallow for one day?” I growl, squinting against the intrusive light she has let into my room.

“No. You’re not doing this. You’re too strong for something like this to knock you on your ass for even a minute.”

I glare at her before jerking the covers out of her hand and pulling them back over my head again. But as soon as I settle in, she’s depriving me of my shield once more, and this time she throws the covers out of my room.

“I used to love you, but you’re quickly rising up to the top of my most-hated enemies right now,” I say in warning.

She crosses her arms over her chest, her stern gaze pinning me in place. I hate Maggie’s pissed look. It’s actually a little scary.

“Fine!” I snap, crawling out of the bed and feeling resentment toward her rising.

“Good!” she barks, and then she turns on her heel and storms out, pausing only to grab my covers and drag them away.

“What am I supposed to do? I’ve already called in and requested a personal day.”

“Go out and get some air. I’ll prepare our stay-in movie night, and I’ll teach you how to properly deal with disappointment. It includes three flavors of ice cream.”

That sounds promising.

“Where should I go for air?” I joke, earning a huff from her.

“The beach is ideal. Now go. I’ll get everything ready.”

With a great deal of reluctance, I start getting my clothes on and I pull my hair back. I frown when I see my keys. Maggie said he brought them over when he got home last night. I’m glad I wasn’t here.

Now I have to go see what all he did to my car, and it’s going to break my resolve just a little bit more. Any guy who kisses a girl and stalks away is obviously battling with the fact that he doesn’t want to want her.

It sucks, but I get it. I know I’m not the type of girl he goes for. I knew it from the beginning. But our chemistry... I just thought he’d get past the superficial bullshit. I’m not that bad, dammit.

In a room full of normal women, I’d be much more appealing. I should move to a new town. One where the gene pool isn’t overloaded with the super sexy.

When I finally force myself outside, I stare at my car like I’ve never seen it before. I only saw it under the streetlights last night, and I took a cab to Ash’s house because I knew I’d need lots of alcohol to make it through the date. I was right.

In the daylight, I can see the extreme makeover so much better.

Even the small scratches and shopping cart dents are gone. I half expect a sparkling effect to start up at any moment. I walk around it, noting all the added details. He had to have spent a small fortune on this.

Why? Why do all of this? And he said I was driving him fucking crazy. Well, he’s frigging driving me insane.

It takes me a minute, but I finally get into the front seat, smiling when I see that it’s all the way back, and I adjust it so that I can reach the pedals. I can’t believe this. He gave me leather upholstery? Real leather? And it feels so good. I swear it almost has a new car smell.

There’s a touchscreen panel on the dash that I can assume must control my air and radio, since the old turn dials and radio system are missing. Tears fill my eyes. He completely changed my entire car for the better.

I laugh when my car cranks on the first try. It usually takes a few key turns to start it, and it purrs instead of squealing like it’s in pain. When I shift it into drive, I almost break the gear stick. Normally it’s so hard to put into place, but now it just glides almost too easily.

I can’t help but giggle, and a tear escapes my grasp. Pulling away from the curb is so easy because the steering is so much better. Everything is better. The rear isn’t shaking when I try to tap the brakes. Brakes! They’re not screeching!

I almost do a happy dance when my car stops without sliding a few extra feet. It’s a whole new car. The radio starts playing, but it’s all in Spanish. I glare at it for a second when I reach the stop sign.

Every time I try to change the station, a box pops up and asks for the password. He did this on purpose, and I can’t stop smiling.

Rye. I have to go talk to him. I refuse to let one kiss screw up our friendship. And there’s something else I want to do.

***

RYE

“I’ve got five-hundred dollars here, but I know that’s nowhere close to covering it, so I’ll make monthly payments,” Brin says, sounding very close, and I almost jump out of my damn seat.

Where the hell did she come from? And how long has she been in my office?

“Um... I told you it was on me,” I say lamely, cringing at how juvenile I feel in this moment.

Her hair is pulled back, her shorts are too short for me to ignore, and her shirt is tighter than usual. She would go buy fucking clothes that fit the moment I start having issues.

“No,” she says, putting an envelope on the table. “I don’t want you doing me any favors. I can pay you back. It might take me a while, but I don’t like owing people anything.”

She might as well slap me. This is all because I ruined things between us.

“I’m not taking your damn money, and if you try paying me, I’ll never talk to you again.”

I push the envelope back across the desk, and she glares at me. Christ, I love it when she’s angry.

I’m twisted.

“It’s not like you want to ever talk to me again anyway. You kissed me and ran off like I had some disease. Which I don’t, by the way.”

Fuck. We’re apparently going to talk about this now. Here. And I’m not ready.

“I’m sure you don’t,” I mutter dryly. “But I’m sort of at work. Can we talk about this later?”

“No,” she says with a shrug, pushing the envelope back toward me again. “Because you won’t be talking to me later. I’m paying you back.”

She moves to the far corner, putting distance between us when her hands start to tremble. I really don’t want to do this right now.

Jessica walks in, wearing a dress she must have been poured into, and Brin’s eyes go to her, appraising her. I know what she’s thinking right now because I see it in her eyes. And Jessica doesn’t even notice the corner Brin is in.

“Your lunch meeting is in twenty minutes, Mr. Clanton,” Jessica says with a baby voice. Why do girls talk in a baby voice on purpose? Wouldn’t that only appeal to a pedophile?