Breaking Clear (Full Hearts Series Book 3) (28 page)

He stared down at his dinner, cutting a small piece of pizza using his knife and fork.

Harper blinked back tears, glad he wasn’t looking at her. Taking a swig of wine, she fortified herself. “I guess I’ll call Blaire back in the morning and accept.”

“Well, that’s settled then,” he answered in a cavalier tone. “How soon will you be leaving?”

“Why? You in a rush to get rid of me?” She asked it as though she were merely teasing but the edge in her voice told a different story.

“Not at all.” He narrowed his eyes at her a little. “Just thought it would be good to know so I don’t make any plans you won’t be around for.”

“Oh, of course. I have to find out for sure, but I think I can take maybe three weeks to wrap things up before I move back. I’ll work from here in the meantime.”

“Alright. Good to know.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Harper pushing the food around on her plate, unable to bring herself to eat. She hoped changing the topic would help ease the tension. “I almost forgot that you had something you wanted to talk with me about.”

“Oh, that. There was a ridiculous mix-up with some paperwork for the city, so I need to head back to the job site for a while tonight. I didn’t want to make Lacey stay and do it.”

Harper stared at him. “You got me flowers because you have some paperwork to do?”

He cleared his throat. “Those were just because. I actually don’t know why I even said I had news for you. It’s more of an update. Lacey’ll be going off on maternity leave soon, so I’ll be working a lot more than usual.”

“Oh, right. I guess that makes sense.” Harper did her best to sound casual.

Glancing at the clock, he announced, “I better get back to work. Anyway, good for you. I’m really happy for you. Really.” He wiped his mouth and stood up, giving her a quick peck on the cheek.

*     *     *

Evan drove straight to his office, then sat at his desk for the next few hours trying in vain to concentrate on his work. It was useless and he knew it. He just stared off into space, thinking about what had happened. The image of the camera sitting on the counter kept coming back to him, reminding him of why he couldn’t go home and tell her the truth. Just when she’d asked whether he thought she should go, his eyes had landed on that damn camera, reminding him of her reaction to it on Christmas Eve. The mere hint of him wanting to make things permanent had sent her running to the bathroom to get away from him. She’d thrown up her guard again.

But then had come New Year’s Eve, when he realized he had what it took to go the distance, and he’d decided he wanted to do that with her. He thought things had felt different between them, but maybe it had all been in his head. He stared down at the engagement ring in its box, feeling like an idiot. What had he been thinking, buying her this? Over the past few days he’d managed to fool himself into thinking she might want to marry him, and now he knew full well that her thoughts couldn’t have been further from marriage. She was leaving him, just like she had told him she would. He had no one to blame but himself for letting it get this far. But that didn’t make it hurt any less.

Evan got home long after Harper had fallen asleep. As he crept into the bedroom and stripped down, he could feel the loneliness settling over him already, in spite of the fact that she was there in his bed. What he felt and had let himself believe wasn’t her doing. She had been honest with him the whole time, but he’d let himself fall in love with her anyway. And now he was going to have to face the pain of letting her go.

He slid under the covers behind her, pressing his body to hers and inhaling the scent of her shampoo. She made a happy little sigh in her sleep as he held her close to him. Sadness overtook him. “You awake?” he whispered.

He listened for a moment. Her breathing was steady, so he knew he could risk it. He felt his heart quicken in his chest. His voice was almost inaudible. “I’m in love with you. I want you to stay. I want to marry you.” He hoped the words that came straight from his heart would find their way to hers.

Grande Lisboa, Portugal

“That’s it, everyone. It’s a wrap! Thank you all for your hard work,” Harper called out, motioning to the production crew to begin breakdown. For a moment, she stared out at the incredible view from the top of the Sintra Mountains, wishing Evan was with her. He would love it here. They had captured some gorgeous shots at the medieval Castle of the Moors, making the trip a complete success, but Harper now felt completely drained.

It had been two weeks since she had accepted the job and instead of working from Colorado as Blaire had promised she could, Harper had somehow let herself be talked into a whirlwind trip to Portugal. As she began gathering up her things, she realized that after only a few months away from the magazine, she now found it hard to imagine that she used to do these forty-eight-hour location shoots so often and would be doing so again from now on.

“That might be some of our best work together, Harper. I’ve missed you,” Assaf said, coming to stand beside her and admire the view.

“It was great, wasn’t it?” Harper agreed.

Their conversation was interrupted by her cellphone ringing. A picture of Evan lit up the screen. “Excuse me,” Harper said, stepping away. “Hey, you. How are things?”

“Good. I just wanted to apologize for not calling you yesterday. I got caught up at work and when I finally had a moment, I was sure you’d be asleep already.”

“No problem. I completely understand,” Harper answered, trying to sound breezy. But she didn’t feel breezy. She felt a little hurt. In the weeks since she’d started back at
Style
, things with Evan had felt strained and awkward. The end was hurtling toward them at a furious pace and neither of them knew exactly how to handle it. They’d taken to pretending things were back to being very casual but it now felt hollow.

“How’s Portugal?”

“Things couldn’t have gone better, actually. We’re just wrapping up now, so I’ll be back tomorrow night.” Harper gave a wave to one of the models as she left. “Listen, if you’re busy, I can just catch a cab. You don’t need to pick me up.”

“No, I should be able to make it. I’ll see you at eight?”

“Only if you’re sure. If anything changes, just text me.”

Boulder, Colorado

Warm water rained onto Harper’s face and chest as she stood in the shower at Evan’s. She was torn between relief at being back where he was and a sense of doom knowing that things were drawing to an end. Closing her eyes, she tried to shut out what was to come. The feeling of Evan’s hands on her naked skin had her disappearing into his world again. Harper’s melancholy started to subside as his hard body pressed against hers. Longing overtook her as Evan’s lips skimmed along the nape of her neck. He sucked carefully in that little spot he knew drove her wild. Working his way up to her earlobe, he nipped gently with his teeth. “You’re”—kiss—“completely”—kiss—“amazing.”

Turning, Harper met his lips with hers, kissing him hard, letting her body relax and lean against the shower wall. She arched her back so that her chest met his. Evan’s hands glided over her ass and back up again. He ran his fingers up her tummy to her chest and, cupping her breasts, he rubbed her nipples with his thumbs before lowering his mouth over them, one at a time. Sucking, kissing, rolling his tongue over the pink buds until they were firm. Letting one hand drop down to her core, he rubbed the sensitive skin. “I’ve missed you, missed this.”

“Me too,” Harper whispered. Her heart tugged at the thought of missing him, but the pain was soon overridden by what he was doing to her body at the moment. He was going to make her forget.

Running her hands over his wet skin, she wanted to feel every inch of his powerful body. She stopped when her hands found his rock-hard length. She gripped it, rubbing him while gently twisting her fingers at the same time. A moan escaped Evan’s throat as he lifted his face to hers again, crushing his mouth over hers. Thrusting his tongue between her parted lips, he showed her what he wanted to do with his cock. Letting one hand slide down to her outer thigh, he lifted her leg up along his body, giving himself full access to her. Harper wrapped that leg around him, arching her back even more so they could finally join together. She took his cock and brought it to her, rubbing him against her wet heat in deliciously slow, long drags. “Yes,” she said, her eyelids lowering.

Evan bent his knees, then slowly slid himself inside her throbbing core, feeling each inch as she drew him in further. Sighs. Kisses. Moans. Thrusts. The intensity and pace grew as he pulled away and thrust himself back inside her. Gripping her ass with both hands, he lifted her onto his cock so that her full weight was now resting on him. She could feel him filling her completely as she neared her own climax. She tensed her core, squeezing him, feeling him hit her in that perfect spot. This was everything she’d been wanting for so many nights. She didn’t know how she would ever give this up. Opening her eyes, she gazed at him, watching him as he lifted and lowered her over himself. His expression was one of possessiveness, of need. It made her feel wildly feminine and beautiful. “Yes, Evan, just like that,” she whispered as she felt that first wave overtake her. It was a million sensations at once. The incredible release of her orgasm, his lips on hers again, his tongue dancing with her tongue, the warm water rushing over them, her back pressed against the cold tile, her front pressed against his warm, hard body. And that moment, that perfect moment when she could feel him pulse inside her, each wave bringing her more and more pleasure.

He held her there, up against the wall, as they recovered. Harper clutched him with her arms, her legs, not wanting him to ever put her down, ever pull out of her. “How are we ever going to give this up?” she asked finally.

“I don’t know,” he sighed. “For now we’ll have to just savour the last tastes,” he answered in a low tone. Carefully, he lifted her up and off him, lowering her to standing again. Pressing his forehead to hers, he closed his eyes. Harper was grateful for the spray of the water that prevented him from seeing her tears. He kissed her on the mouth again, this time letting his lips linger on hers as though he never wanted to stop.

*     *     *

The next morning, Harper’s alarm went off at six thirty, far too early. For the last two weeks, she’d worked fourteen-hour days, and after her gruelling flight back from Portugal and a late night of sex, she was beyond exhausted as she dragged herself out of bed and into the bathroom to shower and dress for the day. Twenty minutes later, she made her way to the kitchen to have a quick bite before Megan arrived to pick her up. They needed to leave for the mother of the bride’s house by seven forty sharp. Grabbing two apples and tossing some trail mix into a sandwich bag, Harper then pulled on her coat and shoes and waited by the front door. She didn’t want to make Megan wait for even a second after having left her in the lurch over the past week. Megan had handled the rehearsal and dinner the night before as well as the bridal shower the previous Sunday, both of which Harper had been scheduled for. When she saw her friend pull up out front, she hurried out, quietly shutting the door and locking it behind her. Megan popped the trunk from the driver’s seat and waited for Harper to load up her bags and get in.

“Hi,” Harper said as she buckled her seat belt.

“Hi.” Megan stared at Harper for a moment. “No offense, but you look like hell.”

“Thanks. I’m so unbelievably tired.”

“You sure this is all going to be worth it?”

Harper rested her head against the seat back and closed her eyes. “At the moment, I have my doubts.”

Megan put the car in gear and pulled away from the sidewalk. “So, maybe don’t go.”

Still keeping her eyes closed, Harper answered, “I have to. It’s what I’ve worked my whole life for and now it’s being handed to me, Megan. I can’t just give that up.”

“Why not?”

“What do you mean, why not?” Harper asked with a distinct edge in her voice. She sat up and turned to glare at Megan.

“Well, in case you haven’t noticed, you’ve built quite a nice life for yourself right here. You’ve got family and friends who love you, a great job with your BFF, you’ve been doing some really rewarding volunteer work, not to mention you have a hot man you’re totally in love with. The way I see it, you actually have a lot more to give up here than there.”

“I already told Blaire I’d take the job.”

“So what!” Megan scoffed. “What do you even owe Blaire anyway? I mean, when you lost your job, was she there for you? No. Not until she was up shit’s creek and needed to use you as a paddle. So why the hell are you giving up everything and dropping all the people who actually love you?”

Harper slumped down in her seat but said nothing.

Getting no response, Megan went on. “I know you think what I do isn’t that important, but in its own quiet way it has value. We document the most important and beautiful moments in peoples’ lives. The moments that they will look back on fifty years from now and their great-grandkids will look back on a hundred years from now. And it means something.”

Harper’s voice was shaky as she spoke. She was both overtired and overly emotional. “Well, maybe I don’t want to spend the rest of my days documenting something I’ll never have. Did you ever think of that?”

Megan glanced over at her friend. “Oh, Harper, there’s no reason on earth that you can’t have those things if you want them.”

“With whom? The guy I’m sleeping with who doesn’t want a future with anyone ever?” Harper’s voice was incredulous.

“You don’t know that. From the sounds of things, you’ve both done nothing but dance around the truth, which is just totally unlike you! I’ve never seen you so scared to speak your mind. And until you do, you’ll never know for sure!”

“The thing is I do know, Megan. He’s been very clear about the whole thing and no amount of wishing is going to change that. So, if you don’t mind, I’m going to take the sure thing. I’m going back to fucking Manhattan so I can live out my fucking dreams! And I really don’t want to hear another fucking word about it from anyone! Least of all my friend who grew up in the perfect family and now has one of her own!”