Break You (32 page)

“Looks like you could use some help?” a familiar voice stated.

My insides buzzed to life at the sound of the voice. I glanced over my shoulder and spotted Jason standing with his hands crammed in the front pockets of his shorts and a smug smile twisted on his face. His beautiful blue eyes were locked on mine and I felt my legs weaken at the sight of them.

“Umm.” I glanced at the double doors. No one was coming. What the hell was going on in there right now? “Sure, he’s not being very nice.” I said the words a little louder for Bert to hear. He didn’t even seem fazed by them.

“I saw that.” His smug grin grew and he walked around to Bert’s other side and gripped his arm. “Come on, Bert. You have to go back inside.”

Bert whined and let his entire body go limp. I gripped onto him tighter so he wouldn’t slip from my grasp and hurt himself as I helped to carry him back into the building. Once inside, I realized why no one had come out to help; they must have seen me getting Bert and thought I could handle it alone while they all stayed inside, attempting to calm down the chaos that had exploded. There was an actual fight going on between Wilma and Deloris over her baby doll. It was taking three nurses to calm down that argument. The other two nurses were nowhere to be seen.

Jason helped me get Bert back to his room. We laid him on his bed, and I checked his vitals. He was unresponsive to my movements as I did this. It was as though he’d completely shut down after realizing he wasn’t going to get away. Cross Meadows wasn’t a bad place to live, but it was nothing like being independent and living on your own.

“So, is this something you deal with every day working here?” Jason asked.

I nodded. “Pretty much. Yesterday I nearly got kicked in the face while changing a guy’s brief.” I closed the door behind us as we walked out, leaving Bert alone.

“His brief?”

“Yeah, we aren’t supposed to call them diapers.” I smiled. Heat radiated through my chest, putting my mind at ease for the first time in weeks and lightening the load on my shoulders.

“Hold on,” Jason demanded. He stepped in front of me and stared at my face as though he were examining me like a doctor. His face grew slack, like he’d found what he’d been looking for. “Pinch me.”

“What?” Where the hell had that come from?

“Pinch me, please, I need to know something.”

His face was unreadable, but I swore if this was part of some pickup line he was going to get smacked. I reached out and pinched his arm, hard. If I had permission to pinch someone, then I was going to do it right.

“Ouch, ouch! Okay!” he shouted and I laughed. It was the first time I’d laughed in three weeks and it felt amazing. “I’ve got my answer.”

“Answer to what, exactly?”

He grinned at me. “That even though I can see you standing here with me, I can hear you talking, and see your lips twist into a hint of a smile every now and then, I’m not dreaming. I’m awake.”

My smile grew and I shook my head. “I should slap you for that corny pickup-type line right now.”

“Oh really? What’s stopping you?” He chuckled. I started to say something, but his cell rang in his pocket. “Just a second, that’s my mom’s ringtone. She probably needs me to pick up dinner or something because she burnt hers to the point of it not being recognizable.”

“I’m actually going to go check my next resident’s vitals real quick,” I said.

He nodded and hit answer. “Hey, Mom.”

I turned to head into Mr. Gregory and Mr. Colman’s room, but paused when I heard Jason say he was at Cross Meadows so there was no way someone wouldn’t have told him. My heart stopped. I knew exactly why the two nurses were missing a second ago—Jason’s Gramps had passed away.

My skin tingled as I slowly turned to face him. His index finger and thumb were pressed to the bridge of his nose and his face had gone pale. Tammy caught my eye from behind him and she shook her head, her eyes wide and tear filled. There was nothing worse than having to tell someone their loved one had passed on—except for having to do it face to face.

CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

JASON

After I hung up with my mom I just stood there, rooted in place and unblinking. Gramps had died and I’d been here at fucking Cross Meadows, but not with him. I was a horrible grandson. Blaire moved to stand directly beside me. The smell of the citrus lotion she always used wafted to my nose and all I wanted to do was burry my face in her neck and sob like a baby.

“I’m sorry. We all knew he was getting close, but we can’t predict exactly when it will happen,” she whispered. “Do you want to see him? Tammy just let me know everything has been cleaned up.”

“Mom’s upset she couldn’t make it here in time,” I muttered. “But I was here. And I wasn’t there to hold his hand as he passed on. Fuck!” I ran my fingers through my hair and shifted my gaze to the tiled floor.

“He was ready to go, Jason. You can’t beat yourself up for not being right there with him.”

Easier said than done.

Her hand reached up to rub my forearm. “Come on, I’ll walk you down there.”

Coldness hit my core and traveled through my entire body in a matter of seconds. I wasn’t sure I could handle seeing him. Images of both my father and grandmother lying in their caskets, all fixed up as though they were sleeping, racked through my brain. Gramps wouldn’t look that way. He wouldn’t look like he was sleeping. He’d look as though he’d just died. Would his eyes be closed? Would he have some horrible expression of pain stamped on his face?

“I don’t think I can, Blaire.” I glanced at her. Reflected in her eyes I could see her sympathy and worry, but her face appeared determined and strong. She was stunning. “I think I’ll just wait until the funeral for my goodbyes.”

She let out a breath. “Are you sure? I’ll go in there with you if you want. You’re not alone, Jason.”

I shook my head. “I just can’t right now.”

She released her grip on my arm. “Okay, umm, let me get my things and I can drive you home or to wherever your mom is, in case you want to be with her right now.”

I crammed my hands in my pockets and willed myself to not shed a single tear while in her presence for the best man I’d ever known. “I’ll be fine. Mom’s on her way to the house. I’ll meet up with her in a bit.”

“No. I’m clocking out, my shift is over now. I’ll take you where you need to go. I don’t want you driving right now,” she insisted.

“I’ll be outside.” I didn’t argue with her further. I wasn’t in the mood.

A cool breeze hit me as soon as I stepped outside. There was a tightness that started in my throat and made its way down to my lungs. My eyes filled with tears, but I refused to let myself cry. Not in front of Blaire. Not until I was all alone. I started across the parking lot and heard the double doors open behind me. Hurried footsteps rushed to catch up with me.

Blaire put her hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“Not a good question to ask me right now,” I scoffed.

“Right. Sorry,” she muttered. “Umm, where do you want me to take you? Home?”

I thought for a minute. Home was the last place I wanted to be. I knew my mom would be there, crying and beating herself up for not being there to say one last goodbye to her father. I didn’t need to see that right now. I had to gather myself up first before I could help her pick up the pieces and attempt to soothe her.

“Take me to my Gramps’ house,” I said. I opened the passenger door to her car and slid in. “I think I just need to sit on the dock for a while.”

“Okay, can you give me directions?”

Directions were the only thing said during the car ride from Cross Meadows to Gramps’ house. When we pulled into his driveway, I expected Blaire to let me out and then leave, but she didn’t. Instead she cut the engine and turned to face me. “So what are we doing here?” she asked.

I stared straight ahead. “Taking a moment to reflect.”

She unbuckled and started to open her door. “Are you planning on reflecting in the car or are you actually going to get out?” A small smile flickered at the corners of her lips.

Gripping the handle, I let myself out and closed the passenger door. “You don’t have to stay, you know. I’m not planning on jumping in the lake and drowning or anything, and I can always call Matt or someone to give me a ride home later.”

“I want to be here,” she said. Her hand reached out for mine and she threaded our fingers together.

A small sigh escaped me as the soft warmth of her hand traveled up my arm. We walked around to the back of the house until we reached the dock leading out to the lake.

“This place is beautiful,” Blaire whispered.

I smiled, looking out at the rippling water. “It is, isn’t it? This was my favorite place growing up. I must have spent every summer fishing here on this very dock until I was a sophomore in high school.”

We walked to the edge of the dock and sat, slipping my sandals off while Blaire carefully removed her sneakers and socks. The water was just high enough to barely skim her big toe. I glanced at her. A gentle breeze swept over the lake and ruffled the fine hairs sticking out from her ponytail. Something swelled in my chest and I realized right then that the only reason I wasn’t falling apart was because of her. Her presence soothed me in more ways than I could describe.

Time passed as we sat there in silence, staring out at the water and watching the sun disappear behind it. The tightness in my throat had diminished while in Blaire’s presence and I felt like it was time for me to head home. My mom needed me. This was the moment when I could make up for all the times I’d bailed on her previously when faced with the death of a loved one. It was time I became strong for her.

“I think I’m ready for you to take me home now,” I said.

Blaire jumped when I spoke. It was obvious she’d been lost inside her own mind the entire time and I’d startled her free. That was one of the best parts of staring fixedly at a slice of nature’s uncorrupted beauty—the ability it had to captivate you completely for an undetermined length of time if you let it.

“Okay.” She picked up her shoes and socks and carried them as she walked across the wooden planks making up the dock. “I don’t know who needed that moment more, me or you.”

“What did you reflect on?”

“Us.”

I paused at the side of her car. “Did you come to any conclusions?”

She met my stare. “I did. Life’s too short and fragile.”

Her words penetrated through me. They resonated with me in a way I couldn’t begin to describe even if I tried. “I couldn’t agree more.”

She opened her door and I caught sight of a small smile in the interior light. Climbing in the passenger seat, I decided to take a chance. Leaning over the center console, I cupped her face in my hands and crushed my lips to hers just like I’d envisioned doing for the past three weeks. When I thought she wasn’t going to respond back, her lips began to move beneath mine. The kiss was perfect.

“Thank you,” I whispered, pulling away from her to gaze into her eyes.

“For what?”

“For being here for me, when I’m too stubborn to admit I need someone most.” I brushed my thumb over her bottom lip as I continued to hold her stare. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t this persistent with you when we lost our baby, Blaire. You have no idea how much that is killing me right now—how much I hated myself after I walked away.”

“Shh, if I’ve learned anything from sitting on that dock with you tonight, it’s that you can’t live in the past, you have to continue forward, because you never know when everything might end.” She pressed her lips to mine again in the form of a gentle kiss. “Now let’s get you home so we can make sure your mom is okay.”

Blaire buckled up as I closed my door. Cranking the engine to her Mazda, Gramps’ house became illuminated in her headlights and a sense of eerie calm passed over me. I’d said my goodbye the way I’d wanted, in the place that had mattered to us both the most—on the dock, overlooking the lake. I buckled my seatbelt and smiled.

Through all the shit life would be sure to toss my way in the future, Blaire’s words were something I was positive I would always remember.

You can’t live in the past, you have to continue forward, because you never know when everything might end
.

Thank you for reading
Break You
. If you enjoyed this book, please consider leaving a review at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or your point of purchase. Reviews are an Indie’s best friend!

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS:

Thank you to my family for their love and support during the writing process of
Break You
. You all mean the world to me.

Thank you to Alyssa Rose Ivy for reading
Break You
in its earliest form and telling me how much you adored the characters. Your praise for this novel meant more to me than I can ever put into words.

Thank you to Bethany Lopez for agreeing to beta for me. I’m so glad you enjoyed the story.

Thank you to all the lovely ladies in Story 4 Story. You guys make this journey that much more fun!

Thank you to Kristina Circelli for her editing services, Stephanie Parent for her proofreading services, Stephanie of Once Upon A Time Covers for creating the stellar cover, and the wonderful Kelsey of K. Keeton Designs for the amazing photo of the couple that fit Blaire and Jason to a T for me.

And as always thank YOU, dear readers! I hope you enjoyed reading Blaire and Jason’s story as much as I enjoyed writing it.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Jennifer Snyder lives in North Carolina were she spends most of her time writing New Adult and Young Adult Fiction, reading, and struggling to stay on top of housework. She is a tea lover with an obsession for Post-it notes and smooth writing pens. Jennifer lives with her husband and two children, who endure listening to songs that spur inspiration on repeat and tolerate her love for all paranormal, teenage-targeted TV shows.