Break Free & Be Broken (24 page)

I stand panting, first looking at Sage, then looking at Jade. I immediately feel uncomfortable directing my fury toward her, so I put it back on Sage. "Everything could have been fine though." I wipe some spit from my chin, "Oh yes. Everything could have been great. Jux offered me a job, you know. I could be sitting pretty right now, comfortable and taken care of, but no. Good old me-good old mother fucking Chales-endured a nightmare of shit because I refused to give up any information on you. He wanted your name and I WOULDN'T GIVE IT! And then you come at me like that?" My eyes fill with tears. "Fuck you. Fuck both of you."

I'm about to turn away in a huff when I'm stunned-though not literally like Sage-when Jade walks over and slaps him across the mouth hard enough to drop him. "You need to get yourself in line." She snarls. She then comes over to me and pulls my head down next to her mouth, stroking the back of my neck with one hand while squeezing me compassionately with the other. "I'm so sorry Chales. Thank you for being strong. Thank you for everything."

Wrapped up in her arms, I realize something. I'm not mad because of all that's happened to me. Before I ran into them, I was even stoked about it. I'm glad that I've gotten these experiences. I'm glad I got the chance to kill Francis and Joe. They were gross humans, and I cleansed the world of their despicable presence. The thing that's bothering me is simply the fact I was lied to. I despise dishonesty.

"Why didn't you just tell me the truth?" I ask, cutting to the core of the issue. "I would do anything for you." I cringe at the underlying message that sentence revealed. I didn't mean to express such a personal truth in that manner.

The message wasn't lost on her; it penetrates straight to her heart. Tears jump to her eyes. "We should have, and Sage wanted to, but at the time I had just met you, and I didn't trust you would help us if you knew the danger involved. Sage tried to convince me of how capable you are and that we could trust you with the full plan, but we've been tracking down Juxtapo for a long time, and this close to the goal, the only path I felt comfortable taking was the one with the highest probability of success; although, look how well that turned out..." She chuckles ruefully.

A sense of pride washes over me knowing that Sage was so confident in me. I glance over at him. He's still sitting on the ground, nursing his cheek, but nods to tell me it's true. Wow. I wasn't aware I had made such an impression on him. I smile. "Well, at least you still made it here..." wait a minute... "Hold on, if you didn't follow the cops, then how did you get here?"

"We were able to get to Quinton during the commotion you caused when you escaped." She replies.

"Oh... well... I'm glad I still managed to be useful."

Jade laughs. So do I.

"Why have you been tracking Jux?" I ask.

Jade looks at me with gritty resolve. "Because," she states, voice as solid as steel, "he needs to die."

By the way her and Sage are armed to the teeth, that much was evident. What I wanted to know was why, but she put such a stiff period at the end of the sentence it's clear that is all she’s planning to say, so I don't press the issue.

Now feeling better, I throw some dirt in my wounds and place my mind to the task at hand.

"So what's the plan? How are we going to do this?"

Sage and Jade both look at me with blank expressions. I look back, trying to decipher the meaning behind the look. Oh hell no...

I'm not invited.

"Chales, thank you for everything, I mean it, but Jade and I have to finish this alone." Sage says.

Nah. I've gotten too swept up in this situation to be thrown out now. If nothing else, I want to see what happens: see how this thing ends. I'm not ready to go back to regular life and face the wreckage mine has become. I like being a piece in these people’s story. I like being a part of something bigger than me, bigger than my gray, pointless life. They have a mission: a goal! They are working toward something-something they are about to achieve. To be thrown out now, after all that I've gone through...

I won't take it.

"No. I'm coming with you." My voice is the pure embodiment of bold defiance. Let them try to stop me!

"You've been great, you really have, but what we are getting into isn't safe. It isn't safe at all. It's not the right place for you."

The anger I thought was gone comes storming back to life, bigger and badder than ever. "IT ISN'T SAFE!? When have I been safe since you kidnapped me Sage? Yes, kidnapped. You took me by force and dragged me into this whole fucked up world. I've seen and done things tonight that I never thought I would. I've been scared, I've been hurt, I've been fucking beaten and tortured, and suddenly now it's too dangerous? Now it isn't safe enough for me? No, fuck that. I've got reasons of my own to want Jux dead, so whether it's with you or on my own, I'm going back."

Sage looks like he's ready to come at me again. What the hell has gotten into him? His composed, cool self has been all but lost. He looks crazy now: out of control. I flex my fists. Whatever. If he wants a fight I'll give him one.

Jade, sensing the possible battle to come, steps between us. She looks at me. "Sage is right. It's not safe." She turns to Sage. "Not for any of us. The fact Jux got to have a full conversation with Chales has moved the element of surprise out of our hands. At the very least, he knows
something
fishy is going on. I think we may need to reconsider this whole thing."

Sage grunts and turns his crazed eyes on me. "Chales, I think it's time you told us what you've been up to since we last saw you."

I tell them everything from Quinton till now, though I only skim over the conversation with Jux. After all my hootin and hollerin, I'm loathe to admit the full extent of what I told him.

When I'm done recounting my tale, Sage strokes his chin. "What exactly did you and Jux talk about?"

"Oh... not a whole lot. He asked a lot of questions about my personal life, and then obviously, he was curious how I ended up at his table..." Sage stares, clearly waiting for me to continue. Damn. I relent to the truth. "I told him everything-well, except your name, of course, and I never mentioned Jade."

"You told him everything? The robbery... Tink... Quinton... all of it?" Sage is totally dejected. If I didn't know my own words, I might have thought I just told him his mother died.

I nod, suddenly feeling very small. The only thing more plain to see than how bad they want to kill Jux is how much of a hindrance this information is.

Sage rubs his head a few times then flicks the sadness away. "Well, that isn't necessarily
too
bad. Did Jux seem suspicious at all? Did he question you about my motives?"

"Um... just a little. He was quite interested in why you thought Quinton knew where El Sanchez was-he went so far as to say he wished that could have played out-and he was somewhat curious about why you set me up, but the main thing he wanted to know was your name."

The news lifts Sage’s spirits. "Good, good!" He turns to Jade. "Things haven't gotten that far out of hand. We planned for such a contingency, remember? We knew Jux would probably get to Chales before we did, that's the whole reason we used El Sanchez-to throw him off scent-and it sounds like it worked."

Jade doesn't look convinced. "We hardly planned for
this
! Too much time has passed since they've talked; time where Jux has had nothing to do but wonder what the appearance of such a bizarre guest might mean. I mean for god sakes, any second now an alarm could go off when they figure out Chales got away!"

I shrug. "I don't think that's an issue. The last thing I heard from Jux was that he was going to bed and didn't expect my confession till morning, so I don't think anyone will miss me before then. If I thought we were in danger, don't you think I would have said something instead of having this little reunion?"

"But what about the cop? Isn't it possible someone might miss him?"

I shrug again, but this time it's a shrug of ignorance, and I have no optimistic words to put behind it.

Sage waves off the question as if it were nothing more than an annoying fly. "That's hardly a concern. For all we know, he was just stopping by to tell Francis something as he was leaving."

Jade stares at Sage in disbelief. "You're willing to bet our lives on an assumption that flimsy? It's just as likely, if not more, that he was sent because Juxtapo wanted to see if Francis had gotten any information, and more men are currently on their way to figure out why he hasn't come back."

"Well then why don't we just go take a look? Chales, can you lead us down there?"

Jade cuts in before I can answer. "We aren't going down into any tunnels, Sage! That is the last place I'd want to be if Jux discovers something's going on.” She flips some hair out of her face and leans her head to the side, glaring at Sage with slanted eyes. “And I know you. If we get in that deep, it will mean we're committed, and I am far from ready to commit. We've lost control of too many variables."

Sage casts Jade a scowl but it almost immediately fades. "We should at least go check out the cabin. We haven't come this far for nothing. If we stick to the woods, we can disappear at any sign of trouble."

Jade looks reluctant but agrees. Sage looks entirely too excited. "Great!" He says, turning toward me. "Want to guide us to the cabin?"

I nod. "This way."

I lead them past the farmhouse, past the barn, and into the trees. We move on high alert: slow and quiet, with eyes and ears peeled for any type of danger, so it takes a while to reach the cabin. When we arrive, we stop a few rows of trees back from the clearing to evaluate the situation. The cabin's now completely dark.

"There were some lights on before." I whisper.

Sage holds a finger to his lips and tilts his head sideways, signaling for us to continue. We whisk through the woods around to the back of the cabin. Sage stares at the backside for a long while, then guides us deeper into the trees. When we reach a safe distance, he speaks.

"What do you think?" He asks Jade.

Jade sighs, the cold giving her breath the appearance of an escaping ghost. "I don't like it. Looks too dead."

Sage pulls at his rifle strap. "It certainly doesn't look inviting, but it doesn't look bad." He argues. Jade only shrugs. "I'm going to take a few laps around the place, see what I can find out." She doesn't acknowledge those words at all.

Rifle at the ready, Sage slinks back toward the cabin. Not sure what I should be doing, I just lean against a tree and wait.

It gets old fast.

For one, all I'm wearing is shorts, and it isn't fun being cold but pretending I'm not. I wanna seem tough for Jade though, so the only comfort I've allowed myself is folding my arms. I'd also like to talk to her, but at the moment, it doesn't seem appropriate. Every minute Sage has been gone, she's sunk further and further into a gloomy state of brooding, and he's been gone for quite a few now.

I glance over at her. She's standing as still as the trees we are hiding amongst, just staring in the direction of the cabin. I wish I had something to say-some nugget of good news that could lighten her mood-but I can think of nothing.

I've never seen her like this... but then again, when would I have? Our total time together is less than an hour. For how little I know her, it's kind of strange how much I desire her. I guess what it comes down to is that I just like being near her. She fills me with a new kind of hope, like if I can just win her heart, nothing will ever be bad or ugly again. And it isn't just because of her intelligence, strength, and beauty. There is something more to her, and now that I think about it, it's the same quality that attracts me to Sage. They know themselves-know who they are-and with that knowledge, they know how to navigate through life. I think it's that, more than anything, that makes me want to be close to her. I believe she could help me eliminate some of the confusion that so often dominates my psyche. To see through the fog in this life of clouds is an extraordinary thing.

I want that. I want her. I can only imagine how high I would soar with her by my side.

I'm a human popsicle by the time Sage finally returns. He must have been gone at least an hour. After such an extensive investigation, I assume he could draw a blueprint of the cabin and a perfect map of the surrounding woods.

"What did you find out?" Jade asks. It's clear from her tone that she isn't really interested.

Sage scratches his head. “Well... could be better, could be worse. I spotted about a half dozen guys, which probably means there’s at least that many more I didn’t see. The thing is though, none of them seemed to be on alert. I was barely able to make out the ones I saw because they are all just sitting around in the dark. As for entries, there are four: the front door, the back door, and one on each deck.”

Jade massages her brow. "So what, are you going to suggest waltzing in through the front door?”

Sage opens his mouth but words don't come out. He scratches his head and tries again. "I was actually thinking the back."

Jade looks exasperated by the suggestion, but before she can martial opposition, Sage continues.