Break Away (11 page)

“You and Dex Porter, huh?” Melanie asked, waggling her eyebrows at me suggestively while we set tables for the dinner rush. “What’s going on there?”

“Nothing’s going on!” I insisted, unable to hide my frustration. “We’re just friends. That’s it.”

“Are you sure about that? Dex isn’t the type of guy to be
just
friends with a girl. Aside from the ones that he humps and dumps, the only girl I’ve ever seen him with is his sister.” All of a sudden, she stopped setting the table and turned, studying me closely. “Now that I think about it, I haven’t seen Dex come in here lately for his usual debauchery. In fact, the only time I’ve seen him in here is when he’s with you or you’re working.”

“Trust me, we’re just friends. He’s pretty great once you get to know him.” It was true. Ever since that day at the beach, we’d been hanging out a lot. At first, I hadn’t been sure if a friendship with him was really possible. Especially after our intense moment at the bar when I’d managed to get so wrapped up in him that I hadn’t been thinking clearly. It had taken a stern lecture to myself in the mirror of the bathroom and a splash of cold water on my face to get my head back on straight.

Since then, though, the “friend” boundary had been firmly in place. I was glad for that, because I actually had a lot of fun when I was with him. He brought me out of my shell and helped me loosen up.

“Yeah, he’s also pretty gorgeous!” Melanie pointed out, unwilling to let it go. “And I hear he’s un-freaking-believable in bed. It’s no surprise that women clamber to get with him even when they know he doesn’t give a damn about them.”

Also true. It blew my mind how women were so desperate for a piece of him that they didn’t care how he treated them. I used to think that Dex was an asshole for taking advantage of women, but I’d come to realize that they were using him just as much as he was using them.

“I don’t understand why you only want to be friends with him,” Melanie said. “If I were you, I would be all over that. Maybe you should send him in my direction… what I wouldn’t give for one night with Dex Porter. Yum!”

“He’s not a carnival ride, Melanie!” I hated the idea of people thinking he was only good for sex, because I got the sense that he thought that about himself sometimes, too. I also couldn’t help the twinge of jealousy I felt at the thought of Melanie with Dex. Which was stupid, so I pushed it aside.

“Well, jeez, no need to get defensive, Olivia. I thought ya’ll were just friends?”

I sighed in exasperation and got back to work.

It was Sunday, which meant it was time for our weekly family dinner at my parents’ house. Amy, Sadie and I piled into the car and made the short drive across town to the house where we grew up. As usual, my mom and dad were out the door and in the driveway to greet us before we even stepped out of the car.

“You’re here!” my mom said cheerfully, welcoming each of us with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. My dad was close behind, squeezing my shoulder affectionately as they led us inside.

Our parents always acted like they hadn’t seen us in ages, despite the fact that we never went a week without spending time with them. It was just the way they were. Throughout our whole lives, they never made us feel anything less than loved, cherished and accepted. I knew how lucky we were to have them.

I often felt guilty that, even with parents as great as them, I’d turned out the way I had. They deserved to have a son who was as wonderful as they were, and that definitely wasn’t me. I tried to keep them from seeing my dark side and did my best to act cheerful and happy when I was around them. The way that I used to be. But I couldn’t always keep up the act, and when that happened I felt like a total disappointment. My parents were terrified when I first told them that I wanted to enlist in the Marines, but they supported me anyway. Through it all, they had been there for me. Now it was me who wasn’t really here—a mere shell of the person I’d once been.

“How are you doing, son?” my dad asked. Every week he did the same thing; pulled me aside while my mom and Amy were busy in the kitchen, giving me an opportunity to open up to him. “Have you talked to anyone?”

Like it was that easy. I knew that my dad meant well, but I didn’t know what he expected me to do. He certainly didn’t want to hear that the only counseling I attended took place inside a chalk circle, and the treatment involved beating the shit out of people.

“Don’t need to,” I said, forcing a smile. “I’m great, Dad. Really.”

He knew me well enough to see through the bullshit, but he never pushed. Instead, he reminded me that he was there for me when I was ready to talk. What he didn’t realize was that my problem wasn’t about being ready to talk about it… I just wasn’t ready for my dad to hear it. I never wanted him to look at me the way I looked at myself in the mirror every day. With disappointment.

“So, who’s this Olivia who you all keep talking about?” my mom asked us while we were seated around the dinner table.

“She moved into my downstairs apartment,” Amy explained. “We’ve been spending a lot of time with her lately. She’s really great, you’ll like her.”

“She’s super nice,” Sadie chimed in between spoonfuls of ice cream. “And pretty!”

“Is that right…?” My mom eyed me curiously, a smile tilting the corners of her mouth.

I gave her a warning look. “Don’t even start with me, Mom. I like hanging out with her, but we’re just friends. That’s it. I don’t do relationships.”

My parents exchanged a glance that translated to them not believing a word I said.

“You will when the right woman comes along,” my dad said. “Mark my words.”

We were almost out the door after dinner when my mom waved something in front of me. “I almost forgot! This came in the mail for you,” she said, handing over an envelope addressed to me. “It’s from Teddy’s parents.”

I looked at the return address, written in neat script, and my stomach immediately clenched into knots. I had a pretty good idea of what was written in that letter, and I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to read it. I’d failed them. I’d failed Teddy. Opening it would mean facing their disappointment. I deserved to hear what they had to say, but not yet.

Shoving the envelope into my back pocket, I mumbled a quick goodbye to my parents and rushed out of the house.

The dark sky lights up in a fiery blaze, and our Humvee lurches into the air before finally coming to the ground with a deafening crash. Immediately I know that it’s a roadside bomb. A pressure-plated IED that detonated when the vehicle in front of us drove over it.

“
You okay?” I hear the driver yell to me.

I move my arms and legs carefully, assessing my condition before I answer. “I’m good.”

Scrambling out of the vehicle, I carefully approach the bombed Humvee in front of us, which landed in a ditch off to the side of the road. The blast detonated right beneath it, and the damage is far more extensive than what we suffered. I have no idea what I’m going to find when I look inside, and I get no answer when I call out to the occupants.

It’s so quiet that I can make out the static of the radio coming from the inside of the truck. A few moments pass, and it feels like an eternity before I hear them say that they’re okay. Relief floods through me, and I start helping them climb out safely.

The driver is sitting there so still that if it weren’t for his hands, I might think he was dead. His hands are shaking so fucking hard that he can’t unscrew the lid of his water bottle to take a sip.

“
You’re okay?” I clarify.

His eyes shift up to meet mine, but he seems to look right through me. He nods yes. I want to tell him that this still isn’t over. That we aren’t safe yet and he needs to snap out of it, but all I can focus on are his shaky hands.

We begin to sweep the blast site, searching for any secondary IED’s that might be waiting to inflict more hell and destruction upon us unless we find them. We finish clearing the scene and no additional IED’s are detected. The entire convoy breathes a sigh of relief.

Then, all of a sudden, a second blast rips through the sky.

The sounds in my head rattled me awake as my heart continued to race. My eyes frantically searched my dark bedroom for signs of a threat, but there was nothing there. The only monsters that existed here were the ones in my fucked-up head.

***

Summer was descending on Charleston. I finally felt like I’d settled into my new life. Although most of my days and nights were spent working either at the Seaside or the aquarium, I took advantage of the time that I had off. I would explore the city or wander around with my camera and take pictures. There was so much beauty to capture; it was a photographer’s dream. Everything was new and different from what I was used to, and I enjoyed taking it all in. I loved everything about this beautiful, amazing, magical place. It gave me a feeling of home and comfort that I’d never felt before. It made me wonder why my mom would ever have chosen to leave.

I wasn’t as lonely as I expected to be when I first arrived. Sure, there were times when I missed having someone to share my life with, but I was surrounded by so many great people that I didn’t find myself alone very often. I was more content than I’d been in a really long time.

Most of my free time was spent with Amy, Dex and Nate… and of course Sadie. We had such fun together, always laughing and having a great time. It was a refreshing change from the uptight lifestyle I’d had with Steven in New York. I was so lucky to have met them, and I knew that they were a huge part of why I was so happy in my new life.

I never thought I would say it, but I even had a great time hanging out with just Dex. It turned out there was a lot more to him than a gorgeous face and perfectly chiseled body. He was goofy, caring, funny, and at times, fiercely protective. Despite the rather bumpy start to our friendship, it never felt weird when it was the two of us alone together. There was still an attraction buzzing beneath the surface, but it didn’t affect our friendship. Being around Dex felt surprisingly… natural.

He often came into the restaurant while I was working, and I would spend time chatting with him when I wasn’t busy with customers. Many nights we would cook dinner at Amy’s house with her and Nate, and spend time playing with Sadie or watching old movies.