Breach (11 page)

“Are you sure you’re okay to
go home with him?” Andrew asked; his eyes locked on mine.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
The tone of Nathan’s voice made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

“I just thought you’d want to stick around and pick up someone for dessert,” Andrew answered with a smile on his fa
ce. It was becoming obvious they didn’t care much for one another.

Nathan sneered at Andrew.
“No thanks, I’m full.”

“A
nd on that note,” Caroline piped in.

“On that note, I’m calling it a night
and taking ‘drunkie’ here with me.” Nathan scooted out of the booth so I could get out.

“Well
, it’s been fun all!” I added. “Drew…good to see you.”

I had turned to leave when Andrew’s arms wrapped around me. “You call me if you need anything, okay? I’ll always be here for you, you know that, right?”

“I know, Drew.” I placed a chaste kiss on his cheek. “See you.”

Nathan led me through the club, his hand wrapped around my wrist as we worked our way to the entrance. It was a silent walk to his car as most of my concentration and energy was focused on walking straight. He held
open the door to the car like a gentleman, and I slid in.

The tension
was thick in the car, and I didn’t have to look at him to know he was riled up. I just hoped he didn’t explode before we made it home.

CHAPTER
8

W
e pulled up to our building, and I stumbled out of the car. My body lit up at his closeness, then I felt his hands on me, hoisting me up in the air and over his shoulder.

“Nathan, p
ut me down, damn it. I can walk,” I whined as he moved us into the building.

I pounded on his back with my fists as he greeted the night guard
, but my attention was diverted by the fine ass in front of me. I could not, and did not want to contain the urge to grab it, so I did. He yelped in surprise as he stepped onto the elevator. I smacked it and his grip on me tightened.

I could
feel the growl in his chest, there was no doubt about it. Wetness began to pool from the sound and the anticipation of what he might do to me this time.

We arrived at the fourteenth
floor, and he stepped out, walking a few steps; the keys rattled as he unlocked the door. As soon as we entered his condo, Nathan dropped me down onto my feet and had me pinned against the wall with his body, his lips hard on mine. It was a punishing kiss. I didn’t know what for, but he was angry about something.

He released my lips.
“Who is he, this
Andrew
?”

I blinked at him. Was he jealous? I wanted him to
be jealous; it would mean I amounted to something to him.

“Andrew is my ex-boyfriend.
” I was still confused as I answered. His eyes were hard, his muscles tight. “
Nathan
?”

His lips crashed to mi
ne again before moving away. The sound of splintering drywall filled the room as my eyes opened to find where he had gone.

Nathan’s fist
was imbedded in the wall.

“Nathan!” I
ran to help him pull his hand out. That was when I got a look at the entry wall. Seven. I counted seven other holes in the drywall. “Why?”

I gazed at him,
the inexplicable man in front of me. He confused me so much I never knew which way was up.

“You.
You do this to me. Every time… You make me so angry,” he admitted.

I might have been scared if it hadn’t been for the burning in his eyes and his fing
ertips, caressing my cheek. “I slept with my dress shirt on the other night because it smelled like you, and that pisses me off! I’m mad at myself and pissed at you for wrapping me around your little fucking finger.”

“But I didn’t…”

“I know!” he yelled, his anger seeping from him. “And that ticks me off more. I hate that you turn me on. I hate the way I need you all the fucking time. I don’t want that. I
can’t
want that. I
can’t
want you…but I do, so fucking much I do.”

“I want you
, too.”

Pain flitted across his face.
“I hated every male that even looked at you tonight and wanted to hurt the one that dared touch you. I wanted to scream out
mine
to keep them all at bay. But I can’t; I can’t claim you like that. I
will
consume you.”

“Why me?”
The question snuck past my lips before I could stop it. My strength gave out, and I sunk to the floor.

“What did you say?” H
e seemed to be in complete disbelief as he stared down at me.

“I
’m nothing. Drew leaving me proved
them
right. I’m nothing special. Plain, boring, pitiful, ugly Lila. Worthless.”

“You shut that shi
t up right now!” He took a few calming breaths before sitting down on the floor in front of me. “
You
are beautiful, intelligent, witty, sarcastic, fun as hell to tease, and so fucking sexy I have trouble keeping my hands off you. You make it so hard to stay away… I want you so much. I’ve tried so hard, but you keep fucking drawing me in.”

“Then why? Why can’t we…”

“Because I can’t. I can’t love you. I can’t allow myself to pursue you, Lila. A beautiful woman like you shouldn’t waste your time on me.” 

“But, y
ou said I wasn’t ‘that pretty’.”

He jumped
to his feet startling me. “Shit. I was being a sarcastic asshole and was going to tell you I was joking, but you fucking threw me with your response. I’m used to women arguing against me, but you agreed. That shit is fucked up.” He paced in front of me, his brow twisted, fingers tugging at his hair in agitation.

I stared at him in disbelief. Boy, drunk me was envisioning quite a different Nathan
. He couldn’t have admitted all of that. I was delusional. I had to be. Right?

I picked myself up off the floor.
“Don’t you want to know what I think?”

“No, it doesn’t matter.”

“It doesn’t matter that I want you?”

H
is jaw tightened, and his eyes squeezed shut. “Please don’t.”

I looked up at him,
my head tilting, trying to find the words for the idea rattling in my head. It wasn’t much, but it would be something. I was pathetic enough to settle for something.

“We can’t
…be?”

“
Be
? Be, how?”

“Like we have been?”

He pushed the palms of his hands into his eyes. “You don’t really want that with me.”

“What if I do?”

“Drop it, Lila.” His tone was harsh and silenced me. I had gotten more out of him tonight than I ever expected to.

“Well, goodnight then.
” I turned toward the door. His hand caught my wrist and spun me around.

“Where the
fuck do you think you’re going?”

“Home.
” I wasn’t home, I was at his place, and I just wanted to get out of it.

“Oh, no.
I’m not letting you out of my sight, drunkie.” He pulled me away from the door, making sure I couldn’t leave. My eyes roamed around while we moved through his condo and I was astonished. It looked nothing like what I thought it would. I expected lavish furniture and decorations due to the price tag on his place, but there was little of either. The walls were bare, and the furniture was sparse.

We entered the bedroom and he sat me on the bed before kneel
ing in front of me and proceeding to take off my boots.

My fingers brush
ed through his hair. “So silky,” I murmured.

He leaned into my touch
for a brief moment, then swiftly moved out of my reach. He grabbed my waist and lifted me to where I was bending over his shoulder. His fingers found the zipper to my skirt and slid it off me, tossing it somewhere on the floor of the dark room.

“You do know I’m not so drunk that I can’t walk or undress myself, right?”

“Shut up and get in the bed, Delilah,” he commanded.

Was i
t wrong that I loved when he directed me like that?

I obliged and snuggled under the covers. They sme
lled of him, and I found a new happy place, wrapped around the musky and spicy scent that was Nathan. I was sure my therapist would like that. He never felt my happy place was happy enough.

I woke a few hours later wrapped up in Nathan’s arms. It was wa
rm and inviting and I wanted it. I wanted him. Could I do it? Could I show him it was okay to love? Maybe it was best to go with the flow. Maybe we could both heal. What would Dr. Morgenson say? Shit, I needed to see him again; it’d been too long, several months.

I turned my head to look at him
, taking in how peaceful his face was when he was asleep. I sighed as I moved to sit up; I needed to go home. It was too intoxicating being so close to him. I was drowning in Nathan.

“No,” he mumbled. “Stay.”

His arms pulled me back into his body, lips kissing my shoulder, nipping the skin beneath as his fingers flexed around my waist. His tongue slid out, tasting my skin, his hand moving down my stomach and teasing the skin at the top of my panties. He slid beneath the fabric and two of his fingers found my opening, pushing deep inside.

I cried out at the int
rusion, one I’d been aching for. “Fuck!”

His hips rocked
against my ass, his hard length pressing into me. “Mmm, your pussy gets so fucking wet for me. Do you get this wet for other cocks, or just mine? Hmm?”

My body arched under his assault. H
is other hand moved to pinch my nipples. I couldn’t stop the rocking of my hips, pushing farther down on his hand. I needed him deeper. “Nate… mmm, only you.”

“Good girl,” he said
. “Or should I say naughty? Only naughty girls get this fucking soaked. Listen to you moaning like a whore. You love my fingers buried inside you, don’t you? Not as much as you love my cock filling you to the hilt though.” His whispers were gruff and needy.

“Fuck no. You...
oh God…filling me with your…fuck...” I moaned, barely able to keep myself from screaming incoherent sounds at his onslaught of my pussy. “Cock! Please!”

His body left mine,
his hand turning me onto my back as he slipped between my thighs. His clothed cock nestled against my wet center, while his lips found mine for a searing kiss.

“
This what you want? Right here?” He accentuated his words with a thrust of his hips, hitting my clit just right, making me scream out.

“Yes, yes, please.
” I really was a slut for him, but only for him. He pulled my shirt over my head, tossing it on the floor, my bra following.

He leaned down and took my nipple into his mouth, his teeth scraping across my skin, fingers digging into my hips
before hooking into my panties and pulling them down my legs. I pulled his shirt up and over his head while he pushed his pants down, freeing his straining cock. I licked my lips, wanting to taste, but was pushed back down on my back.

I could feel him at my opening
a split second before he slid in, cursing as his forehead rested on mine.

“So fucking tight…
every time. Why do you have to be so goddamn fucking tight?”

He rocked his hips until he was all the way in, and
I felt full, whole. His arms wrapped around me, pulling our bodies flush as his hips began to move. There was a tenderness replacing the usual frenzy, a shift from what was and entering the possibility of what could be.

His hands
, which were usually rough, were sensual, his need focused. His kisses were still hard, just calmer. It was like he was trying to burn himself into me with each slow, steady touch. I was caged in his arms. He was keeping me as close as possible; his head in the crook of my neck. His hips were slower, driving his cock into me in long strokes.