Breach (34 page)

Nathan
broke the silence when I was midway through the Hansen file. “Delilah, go eat something.” In my peripheral, I could see that his head had not turned in my direction; he was still staring at the screen.

“No,” I responded, my eyes still fixated on my monitor, my fingers typing away on the Hansen file.

“Go,” he commanded.

“I’m not hung
ry.” Didn’t he realize he couldn’t tell me what to do anymore? He lost that right.

He slammed his hands down on his desk, startling me. My
head snapped up, and I watched him walk out the door at a brisk pace. He returned a moment later and threw something hard onto my desk.

“Eat it
.”

“No.”

“Eat the fucking granola bar before I shove it down your throat.”

I picked
it up and threw it against the wall. It hit with a crack, and then fell to the floor.

“Oh, I’ve hear
d that threat before,” I spat at him.

His eyes grew wide as
he stared down at me. His disinterested act slipped and I could see, just for a split second, the pain beneath.

I had t
o admit, it hurt to see that tortured look in his eyes, because if he felt like that, I couldn’t help but wonder why he had separated us. All it brought was a tight stab in my chest and hope.

I had to squash the hope.
Nothing good came of it.

Hope wasn’t allowed in my bleak world, along with
asshats and their granola bars. They took too much energy.

My first session back with Dr.
Morgenson was uneventful. It had been so long since I’d last seen him that it was almost like we were starting from scratch. He already knew about my past, so there was no need to delve into those sordid details.

The present however…
well that was a brand new beast.

He made me talk about Nathan.

I didn’t want to talk about Nathan, but Dr. Morgenson wasn’t letting the subject drop entirely. He was a tricky one.

“So, tell me about the last few months,” he said,
his gaze expectant.

I went in
to the story of Nathan coming to work at Holloway and Holloway; a few choked sobs tried to escape at the mere mention of his name. I didn’t want to talk about it, I wasn’t ready, so I turned myself off before I broke down again, and slipped a neutral expression back on. Dr. Morgenson knew it as well because he cleared his throat, uncrossed his legs and leaned forward, staring me straight in the eyes.

I sat unfeeling, uncaring, p
retending not to give a shit about my life as he probed into my emotional state.

“Go on…” he encouraged.

“And then I slipped. I became comfortable in what I knew was a volatile relationship.”  What else was there to say?

“I want to help you get better, Lila. I need you to know and a
ccept that there are people who care about you. People you can trust,” Dr. Morgenson stressed.

I knew that was the case.
I knew I could trust him, but what was the point?

The session ended and I left;
the first of many I would attend over what felt like a millennia.

A
crappy morning to add to my crappy week awaited me when I awoke. It was raining.

Couldn’t I
catch a break? Wasn’t my life miserable enough from the beginning? Why then did he have to come into my life and make me believe there was something worth living for, only to take it all away?

Nothing.
I was nothing. Just as they’d always said I was. I would never amount to anything. Yup, there I was, shell of a fucking human being because I fell in love.

Love stinks.
Worse than asshats…

The windshield wipers moved back and forth
at a furious pace as I waited in the left hand turning lane for an opening. The light was still green, stale red for the cross street.

Green means go, but it appeared
not everyone knew that red meant stop.

I heard the squealing of the tires against the wet pavement. I saw in my peripheral as a work van flew over the white line before the crunching of metal filled my ears.

That was then it all disappeared. The pain…the dull ache in my heart, and Nathan, too.

All I knew was black and stillness…

Until I heard the sirens. Breathless voices and clamoring hands touched me.

It was later when a voice broke out ab
ove all other sounds, screaming, “Oh, God. Lila! Love, no! No! Get your fucking hands off me. That’s my girlfriend! Lila!” That was when I knew I was probably about to die.

Onl
y angels sounded like that—only my Nathan…

Turn the page

for an exclusive sneak peak of the second part

of
the Breach Trilogy:

INFRACTION

C
HAPTER 1

I
woke to throbbing pain throughout my body, a pounding headache, and the screaming of my name. It was faint, but growing in intensity as it moved toward me.

My eyes opened and I looked around, se
eing the door of what I recognized as a hospital room.

“Lila! Lila!” Nathan’s voice cried out. It was a frantic, panicked tone I had never heard before.

“Lila!”

“Mr. Thorne! You need to return to your room!”
what I assumed was a nurse screeched at him.

“Lila!”

“Don’t pull that out,” another voice scolded.

“Lila!” he wailed, and it sounded like he was on the verge of t
ears.

It was clear he was
ignoring the nurses as his search for me continued; they were threatening to call security.

“Lila!” he called out again, desperation flooding his tone. He was louder, only one room away.

My chest tightened, and my heart began beating at a furious pace.

Seconds later,
his hands appeared on the doorway, bracing himself while his eyes searched for me.

I gasped when I took in his appearance
; he was wearing nothing but a hospital gown. One tube hung from his wrist, hanging down on the ground.

His expression was what had me in shock and my heart wrenching. Tear
s streamed down his pink cheeks; his eyes were wide and frantic, a look of despair overpowering all other emotions.

As soon as his eyes met mine, his bo
dy relaxed, and his face morphed into one of relief and joy.

“Lila!” he cried out
once more, stumbling toward me.

He
reached out and grasped onto the sides of my face, his forehead leaning onto my bandaged one.

“Oh, thank God. Thank
God, you’re alive.”

Warm tears landed on my cheeks as he continued mumbling. I stared at him in stunned silence. This was not the Nathan I knew. The mask was gone, an
d for the first time I was seeing the true Nathan without any inhibitions. He was raw and lay bare before me.

I didn’t move, I didn’t speak, I just lai
d there stunned. He was crying.

Nathan w
as crying.