Box Set: The ArringtonTrilogy (38 page)

I stood watching him, and he must have sensed
me there, for he gazed up to my window, but ignored my presence and
quickly went back to conversing with his company.

The door to my bedroom was locked. I called
to be let out and the soldier guarding my door answered. “Miss, you
can’t leave your room without an escort,” he said.

“I’m hungry. I missed supper,” I explained
and went to move past him. He held up his hand and said, “Sorry,
miss, strict orders.”

“Then escort me to the kitchen.”

Without word, the man followed behind me,
acknowledging with a subtle nod the other soldiers who were posted
in front of every bedroom door. Sutton Hall was no longer a quiet
inoperative plantation. There was conversation filling every room,
and comings and goings out of every wing of the mansion. There must
have been a hundred soldiers occupying Sutton Hall! The blood
stains in parlor were being cleaned from the walls to the floor,
and I shivered just thinking about what had happened.

Though it was the middle of the night, the
mansion was bustling with activity. In our small kitchen, two
soldiers were sitting and drinking coffee when Patrick entered from
the back door. His entrance reminded me of earlier times, and I
nearly wanted to run into his arms, but he quickly let me know he
was there for business only - nothing personal.

The kitchen was crowded, and he edged past me
and my pronounced belly, only briefly glancing my way. I wanted to
have him open his arms and love me again, but I knew better. Once
upon a time Patrick Garrett Arrington’s eyes had looked on me with
only adoration, but now I saw nothing but hatred.

He continued to ignore me for days on end. On
occasion, when we were in the same room, most often during a
headcount, Patrick chose to look away from me, avoiding my pleading
stares, acting as if I were the enemy.

If indeed our eyes did meet for a mere
moment, his gaze shot daggers through me, straight to my heart. His
anger frustrated me, and as time crept by, ever so slowly I began
to resent him and what we had shared. Obviously, I must have meant
nothing to him, for if he had even an ounce of love for me his eyes
would have shown it; somewhere behind his icy stare I would have
seen it. But there was nothing there . . . until one late evening
when he summoned me to Daddy’s office.

A Union officer led me straight to him, where
he sat behind Daddy’s desk reading over some papers. When I was
announced, Patrick didn’t lift his eyes from the paper, only
motioned for me to sit and then dismissed the soldier. “You may
wait outside the office.”

I hastily sat down and crossed my arms over
my large bosom, resting them on the top of my belly. My gown flowed
loosely, gracefully cascading over me. My hair was long and fell
down to the curves of my waist. Amazingly, I felt pretty, even in
my condition.

When his eyes lifted up and settled onto me,
a scowl came to his handsome face, which made me angry.

“What is it you wish to see me about
General?” I said condescendingly, emphasizing the words,
General.

Once alone, my half-brother wasn’t his usual
confident self. Instead, he fidgeted with his pen and tensely
cleared his throat several times before speaking.

“I need a full account of what happened here
at the plantation, beginning with the Confederates’ arrival and
including the details of Warren Stone’s capture and the days that
followed.”

Patrick thought I would willingly cooperate,
grant him his request, and give everything he wanted. But I was not
going to oblige. I sat in silence.

“These details are crucial. You must have
overheard important conversations, witnessed things. These facts
are of value to the Union.”

“And you believe for one moment I care?” I
spat, just the way Eugenia would have.

He was taken aback by my imperious tone and
quickly became impatient with me.

“I insist that you tell me. It is clear that
you are involved with Colonel Warren Stone, in every way,” he said
with a subtle hint of angst in his deep voice. He stood and began
to pace the floor, unable to look my way.

“I will tell you nothing Patr . . .” I
stopped to correct myself. “General.”

“Fine then,” he snapped. “Lieutenant!”

The soldier entered Daddy’s office.

“Bring Mrs. Arrington down for
questioning!”

“Wait!” I jumped up. “Leave her be.”

Patrick’s eyes narrowed onto me and he
stepped closer. He dismissed the lieutenant. I didn’t want Eugenia,
as much as we shared nothing but a deep abhorrence for one another,
to have to personally reveal the horrid details of her ordeal with
Colonel Smith.

I sat back down and composed myself as he
eased back into Daddy’s chair and puffed on his pipe. I hated the
way he sat nonchalantly as I spilled the details of our terrifying
days as hostages, including the brutal whipping Hattie had suffered
and the repeated rape of Eugenia. “They were horrible men,” I
sobbed between sentences. “Shooting them dead was less than they
deserved.”

“Fortunately, your ordeal is over,” he
replied somewhat sympathetically.

“Is it? Or have I been thrown from one
tribulation right into another? What exactly are your intentions,
after all? Did you come here just to torture me and seek some kind
of twisted revenge on Daddy? Do you hold nothing sacred?”

Patrick smashed his fist down onto the desk,
his face filled with rage. “How dare you ask me that? Look at you!
You are one to talk of vengeance, torture, and sacred
intentions!”

I couldn’t believe my ears. I was appalled.
“You left me! You turned away from what we shared. I loved
you!”

“I see how much you loved me. The moment I
left you ran to the arms of Warren Stone. Now you carry his child.”
His face was twisted with disgust.

But how dare he! He’d discarded me! It was
his
choice. I would have had every right to run to Warren,
though it wasn’t nearly the truth.

We sat across from one another, glaring, our
chests heaving from distress and anger. I wasn’t about to let
Patrick Garrett forget how he had discarded me, and I knew I would
strike a nerve when I also reminded him of his promise to my dying
mother.

~ ~ ~

“And you claim no responsibility?” I flared.
“Do you not recall all you promised me, all you promised my
mother?”

“Don’t bring the past into this,” he
snapped.

“We are here now because of the past. Isn’t
that right?”

He swung his eyes away and began to evade my
persistent efforts to have him admit fault.

“I don’t have time for this conversation. I
have a battle to prepare for. The Confederates will be here any
day. They are coming for Warren. Rumors have been spread all over
Savannah, some evidently true. Return to your room.”

I stood up and went to leave, but turned and
marched back to face him. I was not through with him. I, for once,
would have the last word!

“How dare you come back here Patrick Garrett
Arrington, full of conceit and arrogance! I loved you, in every
way. Perhaps more than I should have, now that I have a chance to
know the real you. I suppose all that you revealed about my mother
was a lie, and all that we shared was a lie as well,” I said
disdainfully. “You took me and had your way with me, and had no
intention of keeping any of your promises! Is that the kind of man
you are? For I know Warren would keep his promises. He loves me,
and if I marched upstairs to him this minute, you would see it for
yourself. Warren would take me in his arms and shower me with
loving affection and . . .”

Patrick took hold of my arms and demanded my
silence. “I’ve heard enough!”

“No, you have not! You are a monster, a
crazed man with a cruel heart. You not only betrayed my mother’s
wish for you to look after me, to keep me safe from harm and
protect me, but you also took advantage of my innocence and hurt me
in every way!”

His tight hold on me remained as I stared
unwavering up at him. He was angry and looked as though he would
strike me at any moment. Regardless, I continued my verbal
lashing.

“I wish I had never met you. I wish you had
never set foot in Sutton Hall! I wish I had never allowed you into
my heart. Then I wouldn‘t be in this predicament, and I would have
my whole life ahead of me!”

I began to tremble. The tears that needed to
escape stung behind my lids but I forced them back, unwilling to
have him see me once again in such a hopeless state. I was not
about to give him that satisfaction.

Patrick slowly released his hold on me and I
backed away, turning to go. Before I stepped out, I hesitated.
Something told me not to leave without revealing the truth about
Warren and me to Patrick - though he did not deserve to know. I
don’t know what provoked me to do it, to ask him to listen without
interrupting until I was finished. Maybe it was the tiny glimmer of
hurt in his eyes that broke through. Or perhaps, to my dismay. . .
I simply still loved him, regardless of the affliction he knowingly
placed upon me.

“The day you abandoned me, abandoned our
love, I was shattered and lost without you. I know you loved me.
Even now as you sit there glaring at me, I know you loved me. You
must have. Since the moment you stepped into the room when our eyes
locked for the first time, I felt something special between us,” I
cried and fell to my knees before him. He sat stiff and
uncomfortable and nearly winced when I lay my hands over his.

“At the church you prayed to God for
forgiveness, and you shunned me. My heart was broken, and all I
could do was go after you to beg you to believe in us and what we
shared. To know that it wasn’t wrong or sinful. That God would
understand and forgive. So I went to Savannah to find you before
you left on the train. But I was too late. You were already gone. I
was in such a quandary. I couldn’t return to Eugenia and I didn’t
want to be with Warren. He wanted me to marry him, and you know I
didn’t love him. You know that!” I cried.

He pushed me back and jumped up.

“You carry his baby, Amelia. Don’t you dare
tell me you didn’t love him!”

I crawled over and strained my neck to look
up at him.

“Warren found me in Savannah and brought me
back to Sutton Hall where took me without my consent! He raped me.
He laced my food with sleeping powders, more than once, and climbed
into my bed. I thought I was having crazy dreams. Sometimes when he
came to me, I thought it was you. The powders had me confused,
delirious. It wasn’t my fault! I swear to you!”

Patrick’s face faded from sheer anguish, to
utter shock. “He took you without your consent?”

He kindly lifted me and sat me down, then
closed his eyes and inhaled a long breath and exhaled slowly. I
anxiously awaited his response, hoping he would somehow understand
and forgive my mistakes and at the same time acknowledge his
own.

Finally, he opened his eyes and came to me,
falling to his knees to hold me. I wept silently as he clung to me
and begged me to forgive him.

“I’m the one who is sorry . . . I’m so sorry.
That day when Eugenia came to me and revealed that she knew about
our disgraceful affair, I was ashamed, I admit. How could I not be?
After all, you are my much younger half-sister. She lashed out
about how God would condemn me and you, that I was a heathen, the
devil in disguise. I didn’t know what to think, except God would no
doubt have me burn in hell for such an act. I thought I knew
better, and I suddenly feared the consequences. But after I was
gone, my heart ached endlessly without you, every minute of every
day, and I longed to return to you, regardless of the consequences.
I no longer cared if God would send me to the devil. I know how I
have shunned you, abandoned our love. You were born to be mine, to
love and protect. I realize that, Amelia. But I have failed you in
every way. I have broken my vow to your mother. Now I have lost you
and everything that matters. All because I listened to Eugenia and
because of my quest for revenge against our father.”

I slowly guided his face up to meet mine. His
dark amber eyes were drowned in tears.

“What do you mean? Why were you seeking
revenge against our father?”

“Not now. Now is not the time,” he said and
rose. “This is all a disaster. I have to think this through.”

I went to him and fell into his arms. I
finally felt safe once again.

“I love you, Patrick, with all my heart. I
was born to love you,” I whispered. “God planned it that way. Mummy
must have died for us, so we could be together someday. And here we
are. God will not punish us. We will do our part to thank him. We
will be good and live by his commandments. This is God’s will.”

“I was wrong, so very wrong to deny you.”

He lowered his lips to mine and we kissed.
And when our lips parted, he cupped my face in his warm hands and
said heartily, “I will never forsake you. Never again. Believe me .
. . please believe me,” he implored. “I shall spend the rest of my
life begging for your forgiveness.”

“I have already forgiven you. As long as you
keep me in your heart.”

“You are more than my heart. You are my heart
and my soul.”

In all the days since Patrick left Savannah,
I could have never imagined he would return to me with unyielding
love and a vow to be mine forever. Since I had divulged to him that
I never loved Warren, I insisted he tell me why he had such
resentment toward our father. He promised to tell me soon, in the
near future, and asked me to be patient with him.

“Now is just not the time,” he said before we
parted ways.

With a new hope and a renewed reason for
living because Patrick’s love lifted me from my hopelessness, I was
able to return to my room and think of nothing but good days to
come. For he was going to take me away.