Bound to the Past (Starville Series Book 1) (31 page)

“You donʼt know if Iʼm innocent.”

“Bullshit. The truth is, life has been awful to you, and I donʼt understand how the hell you manage to keep your darn cool.”

“And what am I supposed to do, Sara? Huh? Slam my head against the wall, screaming that everythingʼs unfair?” Jack said, his voice deceptively calm. “Things are what they are. I canʼt change them. The past is the past, the present is the present.”

“Amen.” Sara rolled her eyes. “For Godʼs sake, Jack, are you even human? If you want to slam your head against that wall, then do it! Scream, curse, do whatever you have to do―but do
something
. Youʼre always so freakinʼ cold and detached from everything that sometimes I wonder if youʼre a robot. Do you not feel
any
emotions at all?” she burst out in exasperation. And she regretted it a split second later—as soon as she noticed his handsome face hardening, his jaw clenching, and his eyes turning icy cold.

“You done?”

Guilt gnawed at her, and she reached for him. “Honey, Iʼm sorry. I didnʼt mean―”

Jack stepped back with a firm shake of his head. “Youʼre right, Iʼm nothing but a cold, detached, emotionless robot. Ainʼt that what everybody says, anyway?”

“Jack.” She took a frantic step toward him, but he moved out of reach again.

“Iʼm going to bed.”

“Jack!”

“Good night, Sara.”

She stomped after him and grabbed his arm to stop him. “See? Youʼre doing it again!”

He didnʼt answer. As he slowly turned around to face her, however, she saw the anger flashing in his eyes, making them sparkle in the moonlight. “What the hell do you want from me?”

“I want you to stop running from your emotions.” She tugged slightly at his arm. “If youʼre mad at me, tell me. Talk to me, fight with me. Heck, yell at me if you have to, but please, donʼt turn your back to me,” she said with a desperate edge. She sighed, disheartened, as he just kept staring at her unwaveringly. “Would you say something, please?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Tell me…what youʼre feeling.”

Jack scoffed a cold laugh. “I feel that Iʼm about to strangle you. Happy?”

The sharpness in his voice made her flinch, and she took an instinctive step back. “There. See? I knew you were mad,” she tried to joke with a weak, shaky smile.

He wasnʼt amused. “Iʼm in no mood to play games, Sara. Say whatever it is you have to say, then Iʼm going to
turn my back to you
and go to sleep, whether you like it or not.”

Once again, Sara felt the irresistible urge to stomp her feet. With a sigh, she raised her arms in surrender. “Dammit, canʼt we even have a decent fight?”

“Iʼm afraid not, since Iʼm just a cold and detached robot.”

“You forgot emotionless,” she mumbled, half hoping to make him smile but knowing that sheʼd fail—and the hostile, irritated way he kept looking at her confirmed it. In truth, the whole situation was so petty and ridiculous that she didnʼt even know whether to laugh or cry at this point. Though she did feel on the verge of tears. Why in the world were they even fighting, anyway? She didnʼt want to fight with him. All she wanted was…

Sara gasped with shock as the sudden realization of what was really going on hit her. She had done it on purpose. She had unconsciously tried to shake Jack up. Sheʼd wanted to get a reaction out of him, a sign that he actually cared about his life. That he cared about her and their relationship.

Evidently interpreting her silence as the end of their conversation, Jack turned around abruptly and started walking away.

“Where are you going? We need to talk!”

“You talk. Iʼm going to sleep,” he grumbled without turning around.

This time she stomped her feet for real as, for the second time in a few minutes, she found herself running after him. “Jack, Iʼm warning you, come back, or―”

He raised a hand. “Whatever youʼre about to say, remember Iʼm too cold, indifferent, and emotionless to care.” He stopped, standing at the edge of the pool, and turned around to give her an icy look. “Now, if you donʼt mind, Iʼd like to go to bed.”

Enough was enough.

Sara slammed her palms against his chest with a hiss of outrage and shoved him hard. Too stunned to react, Jack gaped at her as he reeled backward. An instant later, he fell straight into the water behind him with a loud splash.

She gasped in dismay, slapping a hand to her mouth as she watched him go underwater, then slowly come back to the surface. Without a word, he shook his head hard to get the water off his hair, then leaned against the edge of the pool. When he finally raised his gaze up to her, his eyes were so dangerously dark that she got defensive.

“Are you all right?” she asked. Her heart was hammering so painfully against her ribs that her voice shook.

Jack shrugged, running a hand through his wet hair. “Aside from my pride, yes.”

Sara stared at him, mortified. She wanted to apologize, but the way he kept glaring at her, as if wishing to strike her dead, she wasnʼt sure heʼd even appreciate her apology right now. “Arenʼt you…going to get out of there?” she asked instead, kneeling down to the edge in a desperate attempt to make peace.

He shrugged again.

Not sure what to make of his dark gaze and his silence, she murmured a guilty, “Then I guess I-Iʼll leave you alone now.”

“Not so fast, sweetheart.”

Before her panic-stricken mind could register what was happening, Jack jumped out of the water and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her into the pool with him. Sara barely had time to screech in surprise before she crashed into the water. As frantic and panicky as she was, she sank down like a rock and would have probably drowned if he hadnʼt helped her right back up.

“You okay?” he asked with a chuckle, patting her back as she coughed and sputtered.

Sara wished looks could really kill. Chest heaving, she took a few big gulps of air, but her eyes were still flashing with fury when he tried to hug her. “Get away from me, you monster!”

“Oh, cʼmon!”

Her heart melted a little at the warm, amused tone of his voice, and a treacherous smile almost found its way to her lips—which infuriated her even more. “You ruined my clothes!”

Jack glanced down at his own dripping shirt and soaked jeans. “You, too.”

“You deserved it, you…troglodyte!”

“Wow. A monster
and
a troglodyte. A nice step up from the cold, detached, and emotionless robot, huh?”

Talk about irritating! He was lucky that the water was deep where they were and Sara needed to use both arms to keep afloat, because sheʼd gladly give him another shove. “Iʼm not sure itʼs a step up,” she retorted. “In both cases, youʼre a brainless idiot!”

This time Jack couldnʼt help the laughter that burst out of his chest. “Ah, hereʼs my sassy mouth again. I was worried for a minute.” He brushed a strand of wet hair from her left cheek. Sara tried really, really hard to pull away from him, but that darn treacherous body of hers refused to obey and didnʼt move an inch.

“Donʼt you dare touch me. Iʼm still mad at you.” She was. And yet, her eyes automatically closed as Jack leaned into her, and she caught herself tilting her head to let him kiss her throat and neck even as her fisted hands slipped up to his chest.

“Donʼt push me away,” he groaned.

“Iʼm not pushing you away. Youʼre the one who never really lets me get close to you.”

His mouth tore away from her skin. “Sara, donʼt start this crap again, or―”

“Or what?” She held his intense gaze defiantly. “What are you going to do if I donʼt stop? Leave and go to bed? Finally get mad like any normal person? Slap me, maybe?”

Jack winced at her words. With a sharp escape of air, he pushed a hand through his wet hair.  “Shit, Sara. You know I could never hit you.”

“Hmm. Thatʼs comforting.”

Evidently he was too out of control to catch the amusement in her words, because he went on as if he hadnʼt heard her. “But damn if youʼre not tempting me!” he burst out, frustrated.

She cocked her head to the side. “Why?”

“What do you mean,
why
? Because youʼre such a nag one of these days Iʼll rip my ears off just so I wonʼt have to listen to you anymore, thatʼs why!”

“Now, thatʼs a picturesque image.”

“And because, for crying out loud, I doubt I ever felt as many damn emotions in my whole life as I have since I met you, yet to you Iʼm nothing but a cold, detached, and emotionless robot!”

Her smile slipped instantly. “Jack…”

Crossing his arms over the edge of the pool, he absently observed the puddle of water that they’d formed. “I know that sometimes I may come across a little”—he paused, searching for the right word—“distant. Yes, maybe even cold. But, dammit, Sara, Iʼm not emotionless.”

“Honey, Iʼm sorry. I really didnʼt mean that.” She reached for him, but her hand stopped in midair. Remorse gnawed at her soul. She should cut her tongue. She should grow up, stop being so freaking childish. Sheʼd wanted Jack to show emotions? Well, congratulations, sheʼd succeeded. And now she hated herself for it. Whatever reaction sheʼd hoped to get from him, the last thing she wanted was to see him the way he looked right now, his eyes tormented, his voice insecure. And she was the cause of all that pain. That thought was more than she could bear.

Desperate to comfort him, Sara wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned her head against his wet back. “I know youʼre not emotionless, Jack. I donʼt even know why I said it, I just—I guess I was trying to shake you up a little, because I…” She clamped her mouth shut, trying to summon the courage to continue. She had accused him of hiding his emotions, but hadnʼt she done the same? Hadnʼt she kept her love for him secret all this time? Well, she was tired of pretending, tired of concealing her feelings. After all the pain sheʼd caused Jack tonight, the least she could do was tell him the truth.

Sara stepped back, moved in front of him. Her eyes fixed on the drenched shirt clinging to his chest before she raised them to his face. He stared back at her, his brows arched in question, but didnʼt say a word. She inhaled deeply. “The thing is, Jack, I wanted a reaction out of you because I lov―”

His fingers landed on her lips. “Donʼt,” he said sternly. “Don’t say things youʼre going to regret later. Donʼt let words ruin everything.”

Her heart dropped to her stomach.
Regret?
Ruin?
Was that all he thought of her love for him? Numbed by the pain his words had caused her, she dully began shaking her head. She flinched as Jack reached a hand out to touch her. Took an instinctive step backward.

He dropped the hand and pushed it into his wet hair. “Sara, Iʼm sorry. The last few weeks together have been great, but you need to understand…nothing has changed. I donʼt belong here. Iʼm still leaving at the end of the summer. No promises, no strings. Remember?”

Pain stabbed her all over again. Yes, of course she remembered. But that was before…
Before what?
Before they made love? Before he shook her world and turned her life upside down? No, Sara couldnʼt fool herself like that. As painful as it was to admit it, she had always known where Jack stood. Heʼd never lied to her, never made promises he couldnʼt keep, and she certainly couldnʼt force him into saying what he didnʼt feel. It wasnʼt his fault sheʼd fallen desperately in love and he hadnʼt. It wasnʼt his fault his rejection hurt so much she could barely breathe.

She shifted her gaze back to him. Tried to read his expression, but his eyes were unreadable. If not for the muscle ticking in his jaw, sheʼd have thought the man was completely indifferent. But she knew better now. She knew
him
better. And she wouldnʼt let his coldness discourage her.
One day at a time
, she reminded herself. Wasnʼt it what sheʼd resolved to do? No pressure. No regrets, no expectations. Jack might still be set on leaving in a few weeks, but he was there now. With her. And that was all that mattered.
For now
.

Sara shook her head. “You know what, youʼre right. Forget it. This has been a super-emotional night, and Iʼm not thinking straight anymore. Letʼs just get out of here and go to bed.”

Eyes narrowed, Jack intently studied her face. “Are you sure?”

“Oh, yes.” She forced a smile as she wrapped her arms around his neck, trying her best to sound confident. Sensual. The exact opposite of how she felt. “Yes, Iʼm definitely ready to go to bed.”

More long, maddening moments went by before his expression finally softened. Sara could have sworn she felt every single muscle in his body relax against her as he slid his hands over her hips and pulled her tight against him.

“Okay,” he whispered, grasping the back of her head to capture her mouth in a hot, wet kiss―a kiss so fierce, so deep it made her forget all about his rejection, her doubts, her heartache.

She almost forgot where they were, too, until the contrast between Jackʼs searing body pressed against her chest and the cool water against her back made her shiver. “I, uh, thought we were supposed to get outta here?” she murmured, breaking the kiss.

“Not yet.” Jack moved his mouth to the side of her neck. “Have you ever done it in the water, sweetheart?”

Sara chuckled, shuddering again at the heat of his breath as he nibbled her earlobe. “No, but Iʼm afraid your water adventure will have to wait. I think Iʼm about to grow fish scales.”

His heavy sigh vibrated against her skin. “All right, letʼs go. You owe me, though, so take note.” He lifted her up on the edge with no effort, then pulled himself out, shaking his head to get the water off his hair. “Also, you owe me a pair of jeans. Add it to your note.”

Sara slapped a hand to her mouth, trying to cover her laugh as he took her other hand and they ran into the house, heading straight toward the guestroom Martha had assigned to them. She started undressing as soon as the door closed behind them, more than aware of Jackʼs gaze following her every movement. She shrieked and giggled as he suddenly jumped forward and pulled her in his arms, his eyes flashing with mischief.

“Jack! Youʼre soaking wet!”

“Have you ever done it in a multi-jetted shower before?” he said on her lips.