Bound: The Pentagon Group, Book 3 (19 page)

“Do you ever think you used me too? You were just as much for the sex as I was. You took over and seduced me each time. I never let other women do that to me. You had me. I gave you the power to control me in bed. And you controlled me out of bed.” I argued.

She couldn’t form a counterargument. She knew I was right; she took control too. Just when the lengthy silence was too much to bear, she responded.

“I thought it was the only way to keep you interested in me. From the moment I was abandoned by my ex-husband, I was lonely and insecure. No man would want me with all my issues. Then you came along, and in an instant everything changed. I was afraid of missing out on something which may never come my way again. I expected it to be a casual . . . thing. I wasn’t ready for a committed relationship to you or to anyone. I was still hurting, but I had needs. I needed to fulfill those needs before you would inevitably walk away,” she said with glistening eyes. She sounded as if she never felt love for me and her feelings were all contrived.

“But I didn’t walk away. I don’t want to, but you’re sounding like you’re walking away, Perla. I don’t know how much more I can take,” I revealed.

Her eyes widened and I could see her chest heave, but she wiped the tears threatening to drop.

“I’ve given you every part of me, and right now, I have nothing left to give.” I said. All the breath out of my lungs made me feel the anxiety all the more. “We’ve both made mistakes. I’m taking initiative to rewrite what we have, but you’ve got to meet me half way, and you can’t let Brady interfere with what we have. Don’t you see he’s trying to take you away from me? He won’t stop trying to tear us apart. And if you leave me for him, we will never be able to be together again. I’m not going to let him live happily ever after with my woman.” I warned.

“What are you going to do?” She challenged.

The anger built inside of me, and the answer came clearly.

“What I should’ve done while you were held captive, file for dissolution of the corporation.” I threatened. Her eyes widened. “There’s no way he and I can work together now knowing he kept you for days and tried to convince you to fall out of love with me.”

“He wanted me to fall in love with him, not out of love with you. He told me he would leave us alone if I chose you,” she informed.

“And? Are you choosing me?” I asked her again.

She looked away. Her answer was loud and clear despite the lack of words. I had given her time to think and respond as I locked eyes with her, and then looked away at the darkened skies. I shook my head. There was nothing else for us to discuss. I was tired and I was in pain. She was obviously, tired, and confused.

I turned around and I walked out of her room. I walked in a daze to the front door. It dawned on me I couldn’t live like this. I didn’t want to fight or be doubted. I didn’t want to lose my good friend or all of my friends, and I didn’t want to break up our business. Most especially, I didn’t want to lose my wife to my friend.

While I waited for the elevator, I dialed Zipper’s phone number. “Yeah, I can’t do this anymore.”

“What? What happened?”

“I can’t continue with this corporation. I’m going to file for dissolution.”

“You can’t mean that.”

“Brady tainted everything good in my relationship . . . all the things we’d been working to repair is gone. She doubts me again. He accomplished his mission of tearing us apart, and I’m afraid he’s won her over. I can’t compete with a man who knows her the way he does. I need your help to file the paperwork.”

“No.” Zipper replied sternly.

“No? What do you mean ‘no’?”

“Pentagon is my corporation too. I’m not going to allow you to dismantle what we’ve built because you two have feelings for the same woman. And don’t forget you gave her charge of your stocks. You have every right to force the dissolution, but you will have a huge hurdle to jump without having voter’s rights. And you won’t have my help. Go find someone else, who isn’t invested in Perla, Brady, or Pentagon.” Zipper hung up, leaving me to stew in my anger, jealousy, and desperation.

While I’m the initial brains of the operation, it was our corporation, and my request wasn’t fair. As a collective group, we brought Pentagon to its prominence. I had to find another attorney to help me, and the process was going to be emotional, painful, and arduous.

My heart felt like it would explode in my chest as I watched him walk away. His beautiful body looked tense and resigned. I caused him to abandon me. It wasn’t Brady or my perceived opinion of Matt’s mythical love for me. It was my confusion, frustration, fears, and anger. I needed answers to calm the tempest of questions. Our timing was off, which remained our problem. I couldn’t be married to him when he threatened to dissolve the company he built. I feared I could lose my job. It was my income. My role at Pentagon is for self-improvement and to keep my promises to Alice. I stifled a scream.

I wanted to blame someone or something for my pain. Despite Brady’s pursuit of me, it was ultimately fate which brought all of us together. I needed to resolve all of our problems before I could commit to Matt. With much at stake, I knew I had to play this whole debacle delicately.

My queasiness hadn’t subsided. I couldn’t eat despite feeling some hunger. I experienced so many emotions after our confrontation and once he walked out. Sleep was more important, and I crawled into my comfortable bed, which felt worn on the left side. The sheets smelled freshly laundered with the same fragrance of Matt’s sheets. I wondered if Glynnis had cleaned my home while I was away. The tears fell, commemorating my stupidity and stubbornness. I was in love with the man, and I pushed him away because I couldn’t handle the work required in communicating my fears and needs.

I wasn’t fully asleep when, in the middle of the night, I heard a shuffle of feet on the hardwood floor right outside my bed enclosure. My heart beat wildly because I didn’t expect him to return to me. I was sure he was done with the drama in our lives. My confusion and anger were cumbersome. He didn’t have to put up with me anymore, but I was relieved to have him return. I stirred and saw Matt part the curtains of the bed. He was nude when he entered the cocoon, and instantly I bit my lip in a fusion of need and anxiety. Even in the limited streams of city light, I could see his beautiful, nude body.

“Matt, What are you doing here?” I asked huskily.

My chest heaved as he prowled toward me. I sat up and waited for him to take me. Slight fear and desire coursed through me. He hooked his thumb on the strap of my night gown, and pulled it down my shoulder. My nipples pearled before fabric lowered down my breast. I shivered slightly as my flesh prickled under his touch.

Matt gripped my breast in his large hand and pulled it into a kiss, placing his lips on my areola. His thumb circled the tight nub which protruded through the silky fabric. The gasp, which escaped my mouth, made him aggressive, and he squeezed and bit my flesh. I could barely breath, anticipating the passion halted with time and distance. I’d thought about him while captive. My body ached for him as I lay in the heat and humidity of an otherwise idealistic location. I dreamt of him coming to me in the middle of the night, taking me and quenching my body’s thirst for him.

When I tried to speak, he kissed and bit my lips into silence. I reclined to feel him pressed against my body. His hands snaked up and down my side, pressing his long fingers into my heated skin. Both of us gasped for air. My foot caressed his leg as I thrust upward seeking friction for my electrified clit. His strong fingers twisted, pinched, and pulled on my nipple. I whimpered under his attention, thinking I could orgasm this way.

I didn’t know what to do with my hands. I resisted the urge to touch him for fear I would anger him like when he took me against the wall after my housewarming party. I pulled my arms overhead, and winced at the pain in my arm. I hooked my fingers on the edge of the mattress, and squeezed the cushion whenever I wanted to cry out.

Not satisfied with my position, Matt rose up and pulled down the strap of my hurt arm. Instinctively, I pulled my arm out of one and then the other strap. His fingers hooked onto the fabric underneath my arms, Matt tugged downward. The seams of the gown strained and split as he lowered it over my hips, grabbing my panties along with the cloth.

“Matt . . . I need time . . .”

“Perla,” he quieted me with his kisses. “You’ve had plenty of time. I’ve offered you everything. I’ve given you everything. You constantly doubt my intentions. I made a mistake.” He said.

My insides roiled at his last statement. Fear of his intentions produced tears. As I lay nude underneath him, Matt turned me onto my stomach. The tears I tried to absorb succumbed to gravity and fell like pins onto the sheet. While on his knees, he scaled backwards. He lifted my lower body and stuffed a pillow underneath me. My ass and legs were pinned by Matt’s stronger legs. His long fingers massaged my folds from behind. To check my wetness, he dipped his finger inside my channel. I lifted up to allow him deeper entry, needing his touch to fill the emptiness I felt. His skin rubbed against mine, making every part of my body tingle. With his free hand, Matt grabbed my hair and pulled back with controlled roughness. I grunted with yearning. In order to encourage his attentions, I lifted my body, arching severely toward him.

“You like that?” He asked, clutching my hair tight around my scalp. Another finger entered me, scissoring within my tight walls. I cried out.

While he thrust his fingers within me, he said, “I let you take control of me. I liked it. I yearned for it. And you took often.” He sneered, pulling me back.

I strained to hold myself with my extended arms, feeling weak on one side and putting more effort on the other arm. He pulled me closer, and I held myself up with the tips of my fingers. His chest hair bristled against my back. I missed this. I missed every fiber of his body on mine, and the added gruffness was needed to pull me back to us.

“You’re the only woman I let handle me like that, and you’ll be the last,” he reported gruffly. I sniffled as he pulled my head back close to his ear.

“When your control was taking more than you gave, I tried to be sweet and romantic. I thought you needed a man to give you the love and affection you’d missed from your first marriage . . . but it wasn’t enough was it?” He answered rather than asked.

After one last tug and my cries of longing, he released my hair. I slumped forward and took a huge breath. I hadn’t realized I had been holding my breath to listen to every word he uttered. His palm slid down my back, gliding down the side of my body and up my belly. His hand rested on my breast, palming my heavy orb. I cried out when he clutched tightly. His fingers never stopped the thrusts. The friction around my clit was excruciatingly delightful. I hated to admit to myself that I loved the way he was taking me.

“You never really wanted to control me, did you?” He asked. I moaned an unintelligible response. “You don’t require slow love making, do you?” He hissed. I reared back into him, affirming his accusations.

After he released my breast, his chest left my body. The rush of cool air rolled over my back. A hard smack on my ass made me cry out. It wasn’t just pain. I felt pleasure, and surprise at his dominance. I saw glimpses of it before, but he was so restrained back then. He didn’t want me to see that side of him. The few gentle slaps on the bottom during our lovemaking were playful. This was punishment, and I loved it.

“My mistake was letting you have any power when I fuck you.” He said.

He poised his cock at my entry and plunged himself deep into my quivering folds. His wet fingers were on my hip and the other hand clutched me tightly, holding me still as he slammed into me. My flesh reverberated with the impact. I rose my bottom up higher. He pulled me back to meet his drives. I lowered my forehead onto my fists. I felt him deep inside, pummeling my cervix. My toes curled and my closed legs lifted to stabilize through his plunges. My clit throbbed from the rubbing of my flesh.

“You prefer when I take you this way, just like the night I fucked you against the wall. Don’t you?” He asked. I didn’t respond. Smacking my ass hard again, he asked, “Don’t you?”

He rammed into me with a grunt. I groaned and whimpered with the pleasure. He stilled inside of me. I didn’t know if he was awaiting my answer, catching his breath, or curbing his climax.

I mumbled an unintelligible, “Yes.” I wanted him this way. For as much as I needed to have the sweet, loving Matt, I also needed the dominating side of him more. I needed his control, but I needed him to give into me too.

“I never wanted to treat you like this. Not you . . .” He informed as he thrust slowly inside. “I want to show you how much I love and respect you.” He said before he slammed into me, smacking his skin against mine. His strong leg muscles pinioned my lower body.

“But if all you want is a good fuck, I can give it to you more often than not,” he said, smacking my ass again.

He stilled inside of me, and I groaned. I heard him inhale deeply and grunt. With a grip and tug at my ass cheeks he pulled himself out. I resisted the urge to complain. I was impossibly turned on. My body felt supercharged with the sensations and words he spouted.

“I can take you rough.” He declared while changing from the straddled position.

He pulled me around, turning me onto my back. Matt dragged me to the middle of the bed. He yanked my legs open, and my body shivered from head to toe. I could sense what he planned to do, and I desperately wanted to feel his tongue on me. His thumbs stroked my pussy lips, parting them. I wiggled like a kitten on its back, opening wide for him. He lowered himself down onto his forearms. The first lick made me arch. I touched his hair and he shook off my hand.

“Keep your hands over your head . . . better yet, I want you to play with your tits.” He commanded.

I tried to see his facial expression, but the darkness was enveloping. I shivered at my own touch, pinching and tugging at my nipples. The dual sensations of his licks, suckles, and his bristly beard with my own stimulation was overpowering. His hand grabbed my injured forearm, and I winced; no doubt he tried to ensure I followed orders. With need to touch him, I rested my toes on his shoulder blades, but he gathered my legs and pushed them away. The tops of my thighs touched my belly, giving him fuller access to my bottom where his tongue slinked further down.

Matt’s rejection of my touched angered and aroused me. He knew exactly how to break down my defenses. The night he took me against the wall, he unlocked the key to my true desires. I responded easily to his indifference. Intuitively, I knew this was more than just sex. Because of my reception of him at the airport and the ensuing argument, love was eclipsed by frustration and anger. He was punishing me, and setting the tone for how he would proceed with me from this moment on. I was too scared to lose him. Any word uttered would be cause for him to stop and leave. The ‘dominant Perla’ I professed to be was bound and silenced. All I could do was accept the penalty and hope to keep him.

“Tell me, Perla, what’s your safe word?” He asked. I was taken aback by the question, and drew a blank. I didn’t expect him to do the same thing I’d done to him many months ago.

“I can give you one.” He said breathily.

I made no sound, listening intently to the word he had to offer. I waited for his response, but he was too busy with his mouth on the forbidden ring. I shivered and writhed when his tongue made its way to my clit. He pushed my legs to the side, letting them fall heavily to my right side. My entire body turned with the motion. He caressed my full thigh from the inside curve of my knee until he made it to the curve of my ass. He palmed it roughly and squeezed my plump flesh. I cried out from his strong fingers squeezing with all his strength.

In my wildest dreams I didn’t think I would like it this rough and unforgiving, but I needed to allow what he had to give me. Temptation to push him further over the edge, to see how far he would impel me, was at the cusp of my response to his question for a safe word.

“Pentagon,” I called out before he could give me a word, and he paused. He remained still, and even his breath halted. “My safe word is Pentagon,” I confirmed nervously.

It wasn’t an easy word to say at the peak of a painfully passionate moment. The word was to be used at a moment when I would need him to stop hurting me physically or give me some time to recover from his sexual play, and I didn’t know if he was experienced enough to stop if I used my safe word. Use of ‘Pentagon’ wasn’t just a safe word, but was a strong connection for us. Pentagon started our relationship and, very likely, Pentagon could end it.

*****

Matt remained silent after I gave him my safe word. He knelt forward, bracing himself on one of his strong arms and reached outside of the canopy. I heard clinking of metal, and my pulse accelerated at the sound.

“Have you ever been restrained, Perla?” Matt asked. My nonresponse, due to rewinding the question in my mind, prompted him to ask again.

“No. I’ve never been tied up. I thought you have never tied someone up.”

“I never said that,” he responded gruffly, and my heart leapt. “I meant I’ve never been tied up before you, and I never will again. It doesn’t mean I’ve never tied a woman up. So unlike your little warning about how you learned from books or seen it in films, well, I can’t say the same thing for myself,” he admitted, pulling my right arm.

I whimpered at his grip on my sore arm. If I weren’t so shocked by the turn of events, I would have cried from sadness. I didn’t know how our sexual history or penchants would have impacted our relationship. It didn’t mean I didn’t want this. I wanted it, and I only wanted it from him. But I should have been fully informed before committing to him.