Bound by Steel (29 page)

Slowly, I step toward him and when I get within his reach, he pulls me close. He’s holding me so tight, I can feel every beat of his heart. “Gage, I want you to know that this isn’t easy for me. You were there for me from the very beginning. I don’t know what I would have done without you. Keep the money…”

“Never! She was the one who insisted on paying me. So instead of arguing with her, I put it in the bank. I had every intention of giving it back to her. I swear.”

“I’m so sorry, Gage. If I hadn’t lost my memory when Lyra was killed…”

“We never would have met. And I don’t know how the hell my life would have turned out if it hadn’t been for you. I’m a better man for having known you. I wouldn’t change a damn thing.”

There’s so much I want to say but I’m afraid it would be like rubbing salt in an open wound. Yet, he needs to know how I feel. “I do love you Gage, and I don’t know how to stop.”

He blows out a breath, like the weight of the world just crashed onto his shoulders. At first, I don’t think he’ll answer and then when he does, he destroys me. “Then don’t. Because I know I’ll never stop loving you. You will always be the only one for me. That’s why I want you to have this.”

I’m desperately trying to hold back the tears when he pulls a little black box from his pocket. The minute I see it, I can’t hold them back any longer. They fall as fast and slick as rain on a cold winter’s day.

“Since I picked this out with you in mind, I want you to have it. You can wear it, pawn it, or just leave it in the box. If you ever find yourself thinking about me, take it out and know my love is with you. Always.”

Gage doesn’t open the box before placing it in the palm of my hand. I can feel the warmth of the ring radiating from within. And I know it’s his love trying to escape, but I can’t open it. Not now. I’m such a coward.  I just want to get lost in his embrace because I know when I let go, it will be forever. And I’m not quite ready yet. Calmly, I slip the box inside my pocket.

“I also want you to have the house. I’ll sign over the papers…”

“I can’t accept such an extravagant gift, Gage. This is your home. You designed it. And your father built it. No, you keep it.”

“Not without you. Your touch is in every room. And there are too many memories here. No, I’m going to put it on the market and take the permanent position they offered me in Toronto.”

“What about your family? They’ll be devastated if you take that job.”

“I’m only a phone call away…”

Was that really meant for me or his parents? I suppose I’ll never know. One thing I do know is I feel like I’m being torn apart. My husband’s waiting for me next door, yet I can’t let go of Gage. What’s wrong with me? Being in love with two men at the same time really sucks!

“You should go, Bella. I’m quite sure this would be considered touching.” My real name coming from his lips is surreal. Strange, even. But somehow I smile through my tears at the reference to Ryker’s threat. He’d kill Gage if he ever saw him touching me again.

“I’m not good with goodbyes,” I whisper. And then I close my eyes as tight as I can to stop the flow of tears.

“Good, because this isn’t goodbye. We have too much history for me to let you go forever. I hope your husband’s man enough to accept it because that’s just the way it’s going down.” Somehow, his words fill me with hope. I’d much rather have Gage as a friend than nothing at all. “Now get going before I change my mind…” His voice breaks as his arms quickly fall by his sides. Leaving me cold and unsteady.

I take two steps back and watch as he hangs his head. Defeated. But I can’t leave when I see the steady flow of tears trickling down his shirt. Gage shakes his head when I grab his face. “Don’t. Just go. Please…” I cut off his words with a kiss. I know it’s wrong. I’m a married woman. But I want him to feel how much he’s loved. How much he will always mean to me. My mouth slides over his as I wipe away his tears with my thumbs. I make sure to keep the kiss pure and innocent. Gentle and loving. But it soon becomes too much for us to endure. Gage is the first to pull away as he leans his head against mine. “If you don’t leave now, I won’t be responsible for what happens next.”

I nod, placing my hand against his chest. “You will always have my heart, Gage.”

I have to stifle back a sob when he places his hand over my heart. “And you will always have mine.” We both stand there for a couple of breaths. Feeling each other’s hearts beating under the palm of our hands.

I count. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi and then I walk away…

Chapter Thirty-Six

September

Ryker

Now that we’re back in New York, I feel like we’ve come full circle. And the best part about it is, Bella’s back with The New York City Ballet. She has a long way to go to get back what she lost, but she’s determined. And I’ve no doubt it will be sooner rather than later. She’s been working harder than ever!

My biggest concern about going back to our old way of life was retaliation. Now that I have her back, I want to keep her safe. I never realized until it was too late what kind of jeopardy I was putting her in. Unfortunately, when you work for the DEA you and your loved ones have a target on their backs. One fuck up and they’re dead. Hence, the reason I don’t work for them anymore. Cole wasn’t happy when I turned in my resignation, but he didn’t have a choice. Until I told him the real reason. Needless to say, he’s coming over this weekend to see his cousin for the first time in years.

For the most part, Bella and I have been keeping everything on the down low. Since there’s just a handful of people who know who she really is: Gage, the Harpers, Cole, and yours truly. Everyone realizes how critical it is to keep her true identity a secret. So when we are out and about in public, we call her Lyra. I hate it but we need to do it to keep her safe. There’s only one drawback. Kennedy. She’s adamant about seeing her soon. And we can’t keep postponing the inevitable. Bella wants to tell her the truth and I do not. It’s the first thing we haven’t agreed on since the cabin. Kennedy is loud, in-your-face bold and I don’t think she can keep a secret if her life depended on it. Bella thinks otherwise.

I’m deep in thought when the doorbell rings. Bella was supposed to take Cody to the vet to be groomed. I don’t know why she wouldn’t use her key. “Hang on, precious, I’m coming,” I shout as I open the door. I nearly hit the floor when my gaze locks with hers. Sonia, whom I haven’t seen since the day I left The Pleasure Palace, is standing there. Hands on her hips and looking as beautiful as ever. I’m so screwed. Bella’s due to come home any time.

“It seems I came just in the nick of time. I would love to watch you cum. For old time’s sake, of course.” She has the audacity to kiss my cheek before slinking into my apartment.

“Sonia, what the hell are you doing here?!”

“Would you believe me if I told you I was in the neighborhood and I thought I’d drop by?”

“Not if I lived to be a thousand years old. Spill your guts or get the fuck out. Now! I’m not in the mood to play games…”

“Testy, testy. Actually, I’m here to make you an offer you can’t refuse.”

My blood runs cold when she quotes a line from a movie about the mob. Although, Rodriguez might not be as deadly as the Corleones, it still raises a red flag. And I won’t be coerced into doing something I’m not comfortable with. “What do you want, Sonia? I don’t have time to play games.”

“Did anyone ever tell you that marriage doesn’t agree with you…?”

She doesn’t get a chance to finish her sentence when my hand suddenly wraps around her throat. While my thumb and forefinger press against her windpipe. Immediately, she struggles to pry off my hand. To no avail. Had we been in the bedroom with my hand wrapped around her throat, she’d be begging me to let her cum. But no one, not even my ex-lover, is qualified to belittle my marriage. Ever! “I loved you once, Sonia. For that reason, I’m going to let you go. Then you’ll have five minutes to explain to me why you’re here. After that, I never want to see you again. Understood?” My hands are shaking when I let her go. I’m not quite sure if it’s from the adrenaline rush or just plain fear.

I feel numb as I watch her struggle to breathe. Fuck! Maybe I squeezed her throat just a little too hard. I quickly grab her a bottle of water out of the fridge, twist off the cap and hand it to her. She takes a few tentative sips, then slaps me across the face. Her nails leave solid marks. I don’t have to look in a mirror to know she drew blood. I can feel it seeping out of my skin.

“Fuck you, Ryker! I’m here as your friend. Not your enemy. If you would have killed me, it would have been over. For you and your precious wife…”

“So help me god, Sonia. If you don’t tell me why you’re here in the next sixty seconds, I’ll put an end to yours right here and now!” If I weren’t so livid with her, I’d be turned on. Sometimes. I’m such a sick bastard.

I flinch when she reaches up to wipe the blood off my face. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have slapped you, but you shouldn’t have tried to choke me. Come here, Ryker. Let me clean it for you.”

This feels all too familiar. I soon become uncomfortable. It’s like an itch that you just can’t reach and when you finally do it still itches. “I’ll clean while you talk. Your time’s almost up.” I walk away to get a towel. She doesn’t follow and somehow that appeases me.

“I’m here as your friend, Ryker. Not your enemy. Please don’t look at me like that. It’s true. I wanted to tell you in person. Not on the phone or with a text message. Do you trust me?”

Normally I have good instincts, but for some reason I’m blinded when it comes to this woman. I’ve no doubt it’s because she’s the only one who’s seen me at my very worst. “Yes, I do. I don’t have a fucking clue as to why, but I do. So put me out of my misery and tell me why you’re here.”

“I’m here to set you free. You can tell the world that your precious Bella’s alive and no one will touch a hair on her head. Or yours, for that matter. It’s over, Ryker. Done. Rodriguez will never bother you again. You have my word.”

Clearly, I must have misunderstood her. Or I was stupid enough to trust her. Rodriguez does not let anyone go. Ever. Now I’m wondering if she’s wearing a wire. Fuck! I’m such an idiot. Suddenly, everything turns black and I’m in a war zone. Everyone’s screaming and I can hear crying in the background. Someone’s pushing me away or pulling me in. I’m so disorientated, I have no idea where the fuck I am or what I’m doing. And then something cold smacks my face, followed by something prickly and warm. Cold, warm. Cold, warm. Once my eyes focus, I want to close them again. The sight before me is too painful to grasp. Sonia’s clothes have been literally ripped off of her body and Bella’s desperately trying to comfort her.

Bella

I’m not denying that Ryker can be intimidating at times, but he’s not a violent man. Today was the exception to the rule. I fear if I hadn’t come home in time to stop him, he would have done something to Sonia that he would have regretted for the rest of his life. Still, things don’t look so hot from my perspective, considering that her clothes are torn to shreds and he has scratches covering his arms and face. What the hell set him off?

“Bell, let me explain.”

“No! First things first, Ryker. I need to get her cleaned up and find something for her to wear.” I take a deep breath before casting a glance in his direction. He looks like a wild animal that’s been caught in a trap. Which causes my stomach to do a few somersaults. Perhaps once I get her alone, she’ll talk to me about what happened. And maybe that’s what he’s afraid of. “C’mon. Let’s get you cleaned up.” With one arm around her waist, Sonia lets me lead her into the bathroom.

She’s drop dead gorgeous and I suddenly feel like the ugly duckling in the room. Whereas I’m petite and fair, she’s curvaceous with flawless olive skin. With silky jet-black hair that teases her waist and eyes the color of indigo. She’s a goddess and I’m inadequate at best. I never thought I’d come face to face with my husband’s lover, but here she is. Sitting on the toilet in my bathroom while I clean her wounds that he inflicted. Well, I guess I’ll never know why Sonia came to our apartment unless I ask. Right? “Why are you here, Sonia?”

She looks stunned when I call her out. She must have thought he kept me in the dark about their affair. Ugh, that’s not the right word for what they did, but it’s the only one I can think of on such short notice. Oh, I got it. Illicit sexual relationship sounds much better. Yeah, I knew if I had time to think… Pay attention, Bella. She’s talking….

“… to share with the both of you that I wanted to tell you in person.”

Hell’s bells, I missed the first part. Backpedal. “Why did Ryker attack you then? Clearly, he was enraged if it took all of us to stop him.”

“After I told him the good news, he went blank. His eyes glazed over and then he accused me of wearing a wire. That’s when he started tearing off my clothes. I tried to stop him but I couldn’t. I’ve never been afraid of him, but today I was petrified. He’s not the same man I love.”

For now I can pretend she didn’t say that, but I won’t be able to ignore it forever. “Why don’t you finish cleaning up while I go find you something to wear?” Fuck! She just checked out my boobs and realized that nothing of mine will ever fit her curves. “I’m sure I can scrounge up one of Ryker’s shirts and a pair of sweats for you. How’s that?’

“I’d be most grateful, thank you.”

“‘K, I’ll be right back.”

As soon as I step outside the bathroom, I’m met with a steely gaze. Seriously? Is Ryker mad at me because I’m furious with him? He has a shit ton of explaining to do. “Not now, Ryker. Because if I open my mouth, I’ll regret every damn word.”

“Bella. Bella…”

“What!” I spin around so fast that I nearly collide into a brick wall. Ryker. And my heart melts just a tiny bit when I see what he’s holding. Clean clothes for Sonia. Suddenly, I hate the fact that she gets to wear something that smells so much like him. Just what I need to top off my day. I carefully take the clothes so as to avoid touching him. Because I know if I do, I’ll cave.