Bound By His Desire (16 page)

‘And another thi — ,’ she started as she whirled back around to face him. He reached her at the same time she turned. His arms stretched out to steady her, revelling in having her close to him again.

‘Yes.’

‘I was going to say,’ she again stopped mid-sentence. His groin tightened as her tongue darted out to moisten her lips. He lowered his head towards her shining lips.

‘Yes, what were you going to say?’ he teased the corner of her mouth, her body melting underneath his touch.

‘I don’t remember.’ The words whispered against his cheek before she moved the fraction of a millimetre so their lips fused together.

He pulled her closer, and the tension that had encased his body since he’d read Ethan’s email swept out from him, like a wave rushing back out on the ocean tide. He let himself get lost in the sensation of her lips meshing with his. When he was with Pam he felt grounded, like he could take on the world and know that everything would be all right, because he had her by his side.

His fingers found the hem of her sweater, the fabric as soft as the skin he knew was underneath. As her fingers curled in his shirt, he waited for her to start unbuttoning it. He wouldn’t stop her. He planned to have her and he couldn’t wait to experience her again. Instead of unbuttoning his shirt, she pushed her palms against his chest. Her action surprised him, considering the way she’d relaxed into him. But he was never one to force a woman into something she didn’t want to do.

He released her and took two steps back, giving her the space she so clearly desired. He tried to ignore the feelings of loss, which were swamping the desire so recently burning through his soul.

The clashing emotions were new to him, unnerving him like he’d never been before. He didn’t know how to deal with them. He’d never had these sorts of emotions when he’d been involved with women before. Why was Pam so different? Why was he yearning to have her so much?

Pam wanted to throw herself back into his arms, to push away a disappointing day where her dreams of financial freedom had been snatched from her. The need to grasp back the feelings of wonder they’d shared over the weekend was strong inside her. The only thing stopping her from doing that was the man standing in front of her and how he blew so hot and cold with her. Her mind was telling her to walk away, finish the job, get a good reference and then find a position in another company.

Her heart had different ideas. Her heart was yelling at her that Nick was her man. Her one and only and she needed to do whatever it took to make him realise the same thing. Only she had no idea how to achieve her goal.

‘I don’t get you, Nick.’ The words burst out of her in frustration from everything going on in her life.

‘What do you mean?’

A scream of annoyance at his obstinate attitude threatened to erupt out of her. She was pretty confident he knew what she was getting at.

‘This backwards and forwards game you seem to be playing with me. All day you’ve done it to me. I thought aft — ’

‘You thought what? Because we had sex on the weekend, when we’re in the office I would be all over you? Treat you differently?’

‘I never took you for cruel, Nick. Especially since you had your lips all over me just two minutes ago. You were the one who initiated it, too. I simply came here tonight to bring you something to eat. I thought you could use some food. More fool me.’

He couldn’t have hurt her more if he’d physically hit her. Tears were collecting behind her eyes; she had to get out of there before he saw them. No way would she let Nick see how his words hurt. Somehow gaining her composure, she straightened her shoulders and flipped her hair over her shoulder, hoping her actions were convincing enough to show Nick he had no power to hurt her.

‘I’ll see you back at ho — the apartment.’

She made her way to the door, straining to hear a soft footfall on the lush carpet of his office stopping her departure. The only sound filling her ears was the sound of a crack forming in her heart.

Finally the sound Pam had been waiting for all night came, the snick of the front door of the apartment closing. She huddled down further on the couch so Nick wouldn’t see her. She knew she should be in her room. Why she wasn’t was something she couldn’t answer. Or didn’t want to examine too closely.

After she’d gotten home from the disaster of trying to bring dinner to Nick, she’d cried on the couch before falling into an exhausted, emotional slumber, waking to find the apartment still glowing with the lights she’d left on. She’d gotten up and turned them off, intending to go to her room. Instead, she’d made her way back to the couch and had stared out at the twinkling city lights.

A muttered curse resounded around the quiet, stillness of the room. Pam wished she’d gone to her room. She certainly didn’t want Nick to think she’d waited up for him. What would be the point of her staying up? It’s not like he would expect to see her.

‘You should be in bed.’

Pam popped her head up over the top of the couch, shocked Nick knew where she was lying. Not wanting to let him think she’d been waiting for him, she told a little while lie.

‘You woke me when you swore.’

Nick switched on the lamp sitting on the table by her head, causing her to blink rapidly at the sudden light shining in her eyes.

‘A little warning would’ve been nice,’ she huffed out, waiting to see what Nick was doing, when he lifted her legs and sat down at the end of the couch. He rested her legs on top of his and started to massage her left foot. The action was extremely intimate and, after what she’d thrown at him in the office, the temptation to yank her foot away from his massaging fingers was strong. But the pressure he was placing on her tense nerve endings was hypnotising. A soft moan escaped from between her lips when he deepened his touch.

‘I’m sorry.’ His apology, so tenderly spoken, threw her. Was he apologising for waking her, or did he think her moan of pleasure was a moan of pain?

‘For what.’

‘Tonight. Today. For being an insensitive jerk.’

‘I won’t argue with that.’

His chuckle shuddered through her from where his fingers were on her foot to the top of her chest. Looking at him, she could see the sincerity shining in the depth of his chocolate-coloured eyes.

‘I’m sorry too.’

He switched his ministrations to her other foot. ‘I don’t think you have anything to be sorry for. You were totally right. I have been sending you mixed messages and that’s not fair. Not fair at all.’

It would be so easy to let him take all the blame but she knew, deep down, her snapping at him had been due to the issues with her house.

‘No, it’s not fair, but I was being overly sensitive. I wasn’t having the best day either.’

His hands continued their gentle massage from the sole of her foot to her ankle, before slowly slipping beneath the loose pants she’d changed in to, to her calf. ‘Do you want to talk about it?’ he offered.

Again it would be so easy to ask for his help. To see if there was a way he could look into getting the caveat lifted from her property. But, according to her realtor, the only way to get it lifted would be by paying the outstanding amount to the company that had placed the caveat over the property.

‘Not really.’

‘A problem shared is a problem halved. Or so I’ve heard.’

‘I’ve heard that too, but really, this is something I need to handle myself.’

‘Well, the offer stands.’ He pulled his hand away from her calf and made the move to get up off the couch. She didn’t want him to go. She wanted him to continue his massage, over her whole body, not just her feet and legs.

The chance to express her need for him to stay dwindled with each step he took away from her.

‘Don’t go,’ she whispered. He kept walking. He hadn’t heard her. This was her chance to go after something she really wanted. And she wanted Nick. She thrust aside the blanket and got off the couch. ‘Nick!’

He stopped where he was, in the middle of the hallway. ‘Yes?’

‘I need you.’

Three simple words, but with so much meaning and depth to them.

‘Why?’

She didn’t want think about the consequences of them being together again, and his question required her to think. Her answer was going to be based purely on the emotions running through her now.

‘Because we both need this. We both need to forget.’

Pam held her breath as Nick walked towards her. When he got close he reached out, cupping her cheek with his hand, warming the skin under his fingers immediately.

‘It will only be a bandaid. The problems will still be there tomorrow.’

‘I know, but I know we both need this. I don’t know what’s going to come tomorrow or the day after or the day after that. But what I do know is that I want to explore whatever is happening between us. Because there is something, Nick, and I know you feel it too.’

As he closed his eyes, Pam thought he was going to take his hand away and turn on his heel, leaving her standing in the hallway to deal with her embarrassment of, for once, speaking her mind and asking for something she really wanted.

Then he opened his eyes and the desire flared strong and true in their brown depths. ‘I don’t want to feel this,’ he muttered. ‘It goes against everything I believe in, but I can’t deny it either. I’ve tried all day to forget about what we shared on the weekend and it was impossible.’

He finished by sweeping her up in his arms and carrying her to his room. Elation sparkled through her at the thought Nick felt what she felt. That he reciprocated the desire that had enveloped her from their first touch at Jasmine’s wedding.

He shouldered through the door and then let her slide down his body until her feet touched his floor.

‘I can’t promise anything long-term, Pam. I don’t do long-term.’

She placed her fingers over his mouth. ‘I’m not expecting anything, Nick. I’ve got so much going on with my life that I can’t promise long-term now either. Let’s just take each day and whatever happens, happens. It’s a risk I’m willing to take.’

She replaced her fingers with his lips and pushed his jacket off his shoulders. His hands were once again at the hem of her sweater, only this time he lifted it up and off her. His hands swept up and cupped her breasts. She moaned against his lips. This was what she’d been craving all day. To feel his hands on her, taking her places only he could.

Their clothes were quickly disposed of and Nick pushed her gently so she fell onto the bed.

‘I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you,’ he muttered against her belly, before trailing his lips to the heat between her legs. Pam lost all conscious thought and succumbed to the sensations of pure bliss coursing through her bloodstream as he delved his tongue through her slick folds. Her hands gripped his hair, pressing him closer so that he could deepen the contact. As his tongue stroked in and out, her hands lost their grip on his hair and fell uselessly to her sides. In a matter of minutes, she was shattering against him in a wild orgasm. With her body still trembling, he kissed his way back up, giving each of her breasts special attention.

Each time they’d made love, Nick worshipped her body. Made her feel like she was a queen. She wanted to do something for him. When feeling returned to her arms, she raised them to his shoulders and pushed until he was lying on his back.

‘My turn,’ she said as she straddled the lower part of his body, his erection nudging against her belly.

‘Really?’ A slow, wicked grin broke out over his face. ‘What do you plan on doing?’

Pam leaned down and placed a kiss on his lips. ‘Wait and see.’

She swept one hand down his chest until she came in contact with his hard cock. The skin was smooth and warm. Seeing as she liked it when Nick stroked her, she moved her hand slowly up and down his length, all the while watching to see if he she was doing the right thing. When she smoothed her hand across the tip of his erection a half grimace, half smile contorted his features. She stopped, wondering if she’d hurt him.

His eyelids lifted slightly. ‘Why did you stop?’

‘I thought I was hurting you.’

Nick’s hand came up and rested against the one still wrapped around him. ‘Don’t stop.’ He then encouraged her hand to start stroking again. With his hand over hers he guided her, showing her what he liked. Soon she had a rhythm going and his hand moved from holding hers to caressing her breast, teasing her nipple. Sensations were building inside of her again and she knew she wanted to have Nick filling her once again.

As if reading her mind, he grabbed a foil packet and handed it to her. ‘Put it on, please.’

She opened the packet and gently rolled the latex over his hard length. When she was done, he lifted her until her pussy was resting on his tip. With a gentle push down from him, and a lifting of his hips, he entered her.

Pam sighed in pleasure at having Nick fill her completely. She didn’t move. She just enjoyed the sensation of them fitting together so perfectly. Then instinct took over and she slowly, carefully rode his length.

A moan escaped her. Being on top created a new set of feelings and desires she’d not felt the previous times they were together. She liked being in control. Liked being able to move swiftly and then slowly, torturing them both.

Her orgasm was building, the muscles in her belly were clenching with each upward thrust from Nick’s hips. Flinging her head back, she left herself be carried away on the wave of her orgasm. So lost in the emotions swirling around her like a warm summer breeze, she wasn’t aware of being flipped over by Nick until the soft sheets met her back.

Nick drove into her, sustaining her orgasm, until with one long thrust he groaned her name as he came inside her. Her heart was beating so rapidly she was sure it was going to burst out of her chest.

How was she ever going to be able to walk away from Nick? She may have sounded all brave telling him she only wanted the here and now with him, but with Nick lying on top of her, their bodies still tightly joined together as one, as if she was made for him and he for her, Pam knew right then she wanted more than a quick fling. She was falling for Nick and could imagine a future together with him. How was she going to convince Nick that he wanted a future with her?