Bound (Bound Hearts #1) (23 page)

I nodded my head. “I’m gonna go. I can’t-

I turned
, and bumped straight into Courtland. His fists were clinched tight. His eyes were burning with rage and to my surprise, tears. His jaw was tense when he looked at the man that everyone thought was my father. I knew the need he had to rip into something. To make Geoffrey Hunter hurt, like he hurt me. Then, his eyes turned to look right into mine.

“This is why I can’t be with you Courtland. We are just worlds apart and I can’t get over all the bad shit that happened to me. I can’t-”, my voice was breaking and I was ready to cry again. I needed out of here, like now. “I’m sorry,” I closed my eyes tightly, releasing the tears that beg
ged to be set free, then opened them to see Courtland shaking his head franticly, whispering ‘don’t say it’, but I had to. “Sorry, but I can’t love you back.”

Then I ran l
ike the coward I was. The shame. The guilt. All the ugliness of my youth bled into my present and I knew would eventually drown out my future. I hopped into the passenger side seat, with my Gram at the wheel.

I told her, “Let’s go home.”

It was the hardest choice I’ve ever made in my life. Walking away from the best thing that ever happened to me. My miracle, but I couldn’t drag him down with me. He deserved so much better than what I had to offer.

Sighing, Gram whispered, “Are you sure about that baby-girl? Look.”

I looked up and saw Courtland in front of the car. Hands and arms opened wide, pleading for me to come to him. Eyes wide with tears strolling down his face, and his head shaking no. Begging me not to leave him. Begging me to take a risk. Take a chance. Begging me to love him like he loved me. Tears were falling from my eyes and he became blurry. I shook my head slowly, feeling my body writhe with this heart ripping agony.

But I just-didn’t have it in me.

I looked at Gram and said with a voice that came stronger than I thought, “Yes. Let’s go home.” Then I laid my head against the window and closed my eyes, shutting out the world. My whole word. My Courtland.

Courtland

Even with open arms, she still left me. It was a big move for me. She was the only woman I told ‘I love you’ to. Hell, any person. I hoped that she would say it back.

T
he words she just so easily said hardened the heart I was trying to give her. I felt the tears threatening to fall from my eyes, and for once, I wanted them to.

The fact Geoff
wasn’t even her father was one shocker. The fact that he beat her was another. Molesting her?

During my time in the Marines, I saw some wicked shit and was put in dangerous situations. I could stay hard-core, mission over emotion. Get the job done. Move on. Not knowing that I left her here to endure and suffer under the hands of a monster? Made me sick to my stomach. The Marine in me wanted to set aside the emotion of failure and deal with the problem I just walked away from behind me. Deal with something tangible. Like killing Geoff Hunter. When Adelaide shut me out of her life
, saying she couldn’t love me back and driving away from me, made me think I was so easily duped.

Who could fall in love in so easily as a week? Ha. I’m such a fucking idiot. A week of awesome sex,
and perfect company. And she was hiding this, all this time. All those years of pain and anger, just shelved away. It must be really funny for her to know I splayed my feelings like a pussy so easily, and not get anything in return.

Fuck this. I’ll deal
with my stupidity later. Just because she didn’t love me back didn’t mean I don’t care about her, and what happened to her when she was younger. I set the emotion back. Let the boiling rage rise to the fore and I made my way back to set it right with the one man who had no idea what pain really was.

Geoff Hunter was a dead man walking.

Thoughts of murder ran through my mind and I knew I couldn’t kill him without going to jail for murder. Honestly? This time around, I didn’t care.

Deep down Adelaide was still that hurt, alone, abused and used seventeen year old girl who didn’t know love and had no idea
how
to love. That was the only excuse I could come up with to keep my heart from falling into a black abyss.

Looking up, I
found the crowd of town people disappear, except a few too-interest spectators, going to their cars to leave and Chet slamming his fists in Geoff’s face and giving him a piece of his mind.

“All my life. I thought I knew you Geoffrey. My own fucking twin. Beating his wife and child. Then taking innocence away from the sweetest angel we’ve had in this family. God I
thought that shit died with dad. Beating on his wife. You were so deceptive, weren’t you? Pastor and man of faith, but as soon as those doors close you became a monster. Just like him. I knew she was different after that stupid ass arrest. Hell, even after she turned sixteen, but I didn’t want to pry. She wasn’t
my
daughter to protect. I thought if I prayed enough, maybe she would go to Maggie. Thinking it was a girl problem. We’ve been so fucking blind.”

All the while he was saying this he was laying down blow after
blow to his twin brother’s face with tears streaming down his face.

“Chet.” Maggie was calling out to him. “Chet! Stop, he’s done for.”

“The hell he’s not, mother. I’m next.” JR was red faced, his body tense with rage and his eyes burning with tears for his cousin.

“JR, no
, you’re not,” turning she yelled out Chet’s name. “CHET ALEXANDER! STOP THIS NOW! YOUR SON!”

That made him stop. It sure as hell wouldn’t stop me. Chet stood, with bloody hands and Geoff’s face practically busted and broken. The guests must’ve laid about a hundred calls to the cops
, because all we started hearing was a symphony of sirens. Looking towards the dirt road of the driveway, about two dozen police cars were lighting up and throwing gravel as they made their way to us.

“Dad, Addy was my cousin. Practically my sister. I deserve to protect what’s mine too don’t I?” JR was trying to get past his father to the bleeding man on the grass floor.

“No, son. He’s not worth it. Just stay by your mother.”

“Yeah, well before the cops get any closer, there’s something I need to say to him.” Chet tried to keep me from passing him too
, but I shoved him back. “Chet, out of respect for your wife and child next to you, move. Trust me, I won’t kill him. Now.”

He saw the silent fury inside me
, and knew I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize the past decade I worked so hard far. He stepped back, I heard JR curse, and I went over to Geoff.

I bent,
and grabbed him by the scruff of his collar. He wasn’t unconscious yet. He was about to be, but first, there was something I had to say.

I leaned in real close and whispered, “Adelaide is mine. You’re nothing
, but a waste of flesh and bone. Just so you know. She’s a romance writer, she has ink painted on her skin and she is the most beautiful woman in this entire world. You didn’t damage that. Or break her. You won’t be nothing, but a memory. I’ll make sure of that. Oh, BTW (Yeah, I totally looked up that shit.), when you’re sitting in your prison cell, I wouldn’t think about getting out. The moment you step out, will be the day you get in the sights of a sniper rifle. Bang. You’re dead.”

He let out a bloodied laugh and turned his rapidly swelling face towards mine. “Of course I broke her. I kept you away from her didn’t I? Bet you loved that letter.”

I stepped back then rammed a hard fist into Geoff’s face, landing him unconscious. Just then, we were surrounded by police. One with a gun asking me to step back with my hands up. That snarly voice was one I would remember.

Oh
. Shit. Déjà vu, anyone?

“No, it wasn’t him. He was making sure I didn’t kill him.” Chet’s voice rang out loud and clear.

“That remains to be seen.”

Great. He was still a cop after ten years? I turned to see one of the cops that had arrested me and Adelaide that night. He was only about five years older than me and I just rolled my eyes. Great.

‡

After a few hours of questioning, I was sent home with a promise not to leave the county anytime soon. What-the-fuck-ever.

Getting home, I walked into the house. I could still see and smell Adelaide in this house. And roses. Fucking roses permeated the air. This was the house I wanted to share with her. Have babies with her. Live a life of happiness we both deserved. Grow old with her.

So fucking stupid. I threw a fist into the nearest wall. It felt good to see the pain take away the fucking hurt I felt watching her leave me. I knew now, it wasn’t Adelaide who wrote that letter. It was her father. I knew she couldn’t have done it. She wouldn’t have done that to me. Not after everything that we shared over the two previous years of our friendship and getting arrested together.

Being a complete idiot for even thinking she could be so malicious and uncaring. But her leaving me? Leaving me as empty as I was in my youth and saying she couldn’t love me back because she couldn’t get over the shit that was handed to her, was the last straw for me.

That’s when I really went at it. I started destroying everything in sight. I busted up the furniture. I cracked and dislocated my fingers twice with slamming them into
the walls repeatedly. The bed I made love to her in and said those fucking three little words, was over thrown. I fell against the wall, sliding down to sit on my ass. I looked at the room, then my hands. Then, let the tears fall for the only woman I ever loved.

‡

Two months later…

After that first night, I worked, drank and slept. For the past two months that’s all I did. I didn’t want no one near me. I wanted to be alone. JR had come by, he knew I was home and banged on the door, but I didn’t answer. He yelled through the door Geoff was trialed and found guilty and was being sent to prison. For how long? It really didn’t matter. He saw the truth in my eyes and words. He would die before ever stepping out of the prison gates.

At least something good came out of that situation. He deserved everything that was coming to him
, too.

The only time I went out was to get more William Lawson’s scotch and if I was hungry, I bought take out.

Joe was getting tired of the mess I was making with my life, but I just didn’t care. Like Adelaide, I just didn’t have it in me.

It was a Saturday night, I just finished the last car in the bay and I was out of liquor at home so I thought I would just stop at The Town Bar.

JR was there. Shit. I didn’t want to see anyone. I just wanted to drink, fog my head with no memories, and then go home.

“Courtland. Didn’t think I’d see you here.”

I nodded my head, because I didn’t feel like talking to him. Looking at the bartender who was approaching, I said, “Double crown on the rocks.”

“Courtland. Adelaide-

“Don’t. I don’t wanna fucking hear her name.”

“Are you serious right now? She was in a major accident back in Georgia, Courtland. She didn’t make it.”

No. No. No. No. No-no-no. “Not possible.” The deepest, darkest, most devastating feeling of complete, and utter aloneness, was swallowing me whole. My chest felt like something was squeezing the life away, and my lungs felt like they were burning, making it hard to breathe. I couldn’t live in a world that didn’t have her beautiful face in. I might be a miserable fuck without her, but-

“Well
, yeah. Although you don’t’ give a shit-

I
reared back, then I punched him square in the jaw. “I LOVE HER!”

“OW. Fuck that hurt. That’s what I thought. You fucking asshole. She’s not dead. But her Gram called my dad, saying she’s working herself into the ground, well I guess she’s-FUCK!”

I punched him in the gut that time.

“What the hell!” I grabbed his t-shirt and got real close to his face.

“Do
not
ever tell me she’s dead, unless it is the absolute truth. And don’t ever think I don’t care about her. She’s my entire world. She left me, remember? Said she couldn’t love me back. I know you do, because you were standing right next to me, Chet. She’s everything I could ever have wished for and wanted and I need her more than I need to breathe, but she LEFT! LEFT ME HERE!”I shoved him back, threw back the shot and left.

I hadn’t felt so much rage and pain before in my life. Not even when she told me she couldn’t love me, did I feel like this, thinking she was dead. Although, why did I care what she was doing? She obviously doesn’t want me. I wasn’t going through that again. I wasn’t. What was I supposed to do about it anyway? Her ass was in Georgia. My life was here.

‡

It was my off day and I wa
s sitting on the couch watching ESPN when there was a knock on the door. It was a week after JR tried getting me to talk. I steered clear of him. I kept up my daily routine of work, drink, sleep. Then, I heard the door unlock.

Fuck.

The only people who had the key to this place was Joe and his wife. I figured they were more parents than anything and I gave them a key. What a fucking mistake that was, I see.

“Well son. You done did it now.”

“What’s that Joe?”

“Courtlan
d. Not once have I ever seen you act so childish. Not even when you were one.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I felt my jaw harden and I knew I was going to get a lecture
, so I said, “Save it old man. I don’t need advice from you. Especially not about women. I know everything I need to know.”

“You don’t know a damn thing when it comes to the woman you love. You’re still wet behind the ears, boy.” He was getting angry
, and I was trying to stay calm.

“You might want to leave now. I’m not gonna listen to this shit.”

“So, you calling your woman shit? You surely aren’t the boy I raised.”

“She made her choice. And you didn’t raise me. A pimp and a prostitute did.”

“I’ll get to what you just said about not raising you in a moment. I know you feel like the world is raining hell down on you, but did she? Did she really make a choice? So she decides that she’d rather be alone and save you from having to deal with the shame, guilt and weight of her past on your shoulders, and leave. What? That’s it? You’re giving up? Giving in? Aren’t you a man? Man enough to take that weight away from her and help heal that part of her that’s been hurting for so long? She’s still that little girl who wants nothing, but to be taken care of and loved. She doesn’t know true, honest love Courtland. And you just folded on her like a weak deck of cards.”

I stood up and looked
at the man I would have loved to call my father and said, “I told her I loved her. That I would take care of her. She didn’t even give me a chance. As if I was yesterday’s old news.”

“You think a week of sex and hanging out with her was long enough?”