Boss Bitch Swag (24 page)

I turned and headed down the hall
,
wearin
g
a look of victory on my face. I wasn't really a weed smoker. Not like Boss. It was more about him givin
g
in to me
,
even if it w
ere
something so small. Portraits of Bob Marley, Eazy-E, 2-Pac
,
and Biggie lined the walls of Boss’ den. I removed the one of Pac and paused for a moment to recall the combination. It started with twenty-one
(
of course
),
then ended with Malaysia and Mariah’s dates of birth. Inside
,
,n>
there were several large stacks of cash, some important papers and documents
,
and a large brick of marijuana
, which
was not to be sold. It was Boss’ private smokin
g
stash
; t
hat nigga stayed blowed.

When I came back into the room
,
the vibe was different
; s
omething didn’t feel right. Even Kylee looked upset
,
and that wasn’t like her. Nobody wanted to look at me
...
I felt a
nother
storm brewin
g
.

“What’s wrong with ya’ll?” I asked
,
even though I was afraid to hear the answer. “Who died?”

“Meesh, yo moms just called.” Boss looked at me like he knew he was about to wreck my world. “Angie’s in the hospital.” He eased in as gently as he could. “Baby, she got raped.”

I couldn’t even respond. So many things began to race through my mind.
My little sister
i
s only nine years old. What kind of monster would prey on a child like that? How could anyone look at a baby and see anything sexual? How could life be that cruel to one family?
I had to get to the hospital. Mama was goin
g
to need me there with her. She was goin
g
to need both me and Boss
now
more than ever.

Pee-Wee and Kylee offered to stay home with the girls while Boss and I
rushed
to the hospital. I didn’t say a word in the truck
;
I was too busy cryin
g
. Angie was my li
tt
l
e
girl way before I had Malaysia or Mariah. I found myself wondering if this would have happened if I w
ere
still livin
g
at home. Then my mind went somewhere much darker
:
I thought about my tiny li
tt
l
e
sister bein
g
violated while she cried out for her family to save her. I couldn’t even remember why Boss and I had been fightin
g
so much lately. My husband took good care of me
,
and he kept me safe. What if the next man didn't? No one could love Malaysia and Mariah the way their father did. What if no one loved me like Boss did either? I made myself promise right then and there to give it one last try. No more games. No more bullshittin
g
. Life was too short.

“Mama
,
what happened?” I asked my mother as I
sat
down next to her in the waiting room.

“I don’t know.” She looked over at me with the blankest stare on her face.
“
Angie asked me if she could walk to the store with her friend Britney. I said no
,
but she kept on askin
’
. The boys was sayin’ I been too overprotective since Anthony got killed. They said I need to let them have some fun sometimes. I felt bad
,
so I said yes.” She closed her eyes and took a moment to calm her nerves. “Angie wanted an ice
cream
,
so I gave her some money. Meesha, she was only gone for ten minutes.”

“How is she?” I asked
,
even though I was
afraid to hear the answer. “Is she
...
is she
...
”

“She’s asleep.” Mama put me out of my misery. “The doctor gave her a sedative. Her beautiful face is all messed up. As if rapin
’
her wasn’t bad enough
-
he had to beat her up
,
too.” Her sadness started to turn into anger. “I shoulda never let her go to the store by herself.”

“Mama, it’s not yo fault.” I put my arms around my mother and tried my damndest to comfort her. “We’ll get through this
,
”
m
y tears flowed once again
,
“
j
ust like we’ve gotten through everything else.”

“They know who did it?” Boss began to plot takin
g
the law into his own hands. I remembered what he did after Anthony was murdered. I remembered what he did for me. When I asked him to punish my brother’s killer
,
he didn’t think twice. This time was different
; t
his time
,
we had two daughters at home who needed both parents. Even so
,
I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop him.

“Ashley said it was some man who use
d
to live around here.” Mama searched her memory high and low. “Ren, I think.”

Boss looked like he
’
d seen a ghost. I didn’t know Ren, but by the look on my husband’s face he was one dirty muthaf
uc
ka
; m
y li
tt
l
e
sister’s current condition was further proof of that. I cried like a baby the first time I saw her
, and
I didn’t do much better the second or the third. Her pretty li
tt
l
e
face was twice its normal size
, and t
he cuts and bruises looked evil. I changed my mind about Boss. If he wanted to find that muthafucka and make him pay
, not only
would
I
support him, I
’
d also be grateful to him. They say that time heals all wounds
, but
I didn’t see it healin
g
this one. My sister was forever changed that day. Gone was the fun lovin
g
li
tt
l
e
girl who loved to jump rope and go to the skating rink with her friends
...s
he was replaced with a scared, quiet soul who didn’t trust anyone but
M
ama. She never left her side.
My li
tt
l
e
sister was now a hood statistic
-
and just like
so many other young girls in the ghetto
,
she
’
d lost her innocence far too early.

Chapter 35

Boss

Me and Pee-Wee searched the entire city for Ren, but the nigga was nowhere to be found. I couldn’t shake the image of Angie’s battered face from my head
; i
t reminded so much of Jtso muchazz’s. I hadn’t let myself think about her or what happened to her in years. I thought that shit was an isolated incident, but obviously I thought wrong. That nigga wasn’t just obsessed with Jazz
- t
hat nigga was obsessed with
me
. He knew Meesha was my wife
,
just like he knew Angie was her li
tt
l
e
sister. There were no secret identities in the hood. I didn’t know what the nigga
’
s beef with me was
,
and frankly I didn’t give a fuck. When I found him
,
his ass was
mine
. The problem was
,
I couldn’t find the nigga for shit.
So,
I decided it was time to pay a visit to the one person I thought might be able to help me out with my search.

“Well
,
look what the cat done dragged in.” Gina opened the front door of her apartment lookin
g
sexier than she
’
d ever looked in her entire life. “How you doin’
,
Boss?”

She
’
d cut her hair and gained about thirty po
u
nds
,
but it was in all the right places. She was pretty like she use
d
to be when we were kids, back before she started suckin
g
on that glass dick.

“I’m good, Gina.” I wrapped my arms around my ex and pulled her into a hug. “How you doin’?”

No matter what went down when we were tryin
g
to be something we weren
’
t
,
I still had love for the girl. Gina had a grimy side, but d
o
n’t we all
?
I did a lot of shit back in the day I wouldn’t want to be judged on in my present. All I knew about her was what I
’
d heard
,
and that was some positive shit.

“Go on and tell a nigga what you been up to.” I set her up to brag on herself a little. “I see you lookin’ right.”

“Thank
you.” She smiled the same exact way she used to
back in the day
when I
’
d toss a compliment her way. “I went to school and got my
A
ssociate
’
s degree. Now I’m a Pharmacy Technician over at Barnes Hospital.” She beamed with pride.

“That’s good, Gina. I’m proud of you
,
” I told her in
my
most sincere tone of voice. “Damn
,
somethin’ smells good.” I caught a whiff of some down home soul
food comin
g
straight from Gina’s apartment. “You cookin’?”

“Fried chicken, mac and cheese, greens, candied yams
,
and homemade honey
butter biscuits
,
”
s
he teased, knowin
g
how much I
’
d always loved her cookin
g
.

“Damn!” My stomach started turnin
g
flips
,
just like
in
the old days. Nobody got down like Gina. Her chicken was better tha
n
KFC, Church
’
s
,
and Popeye’s all combined. Meesha cooked, but not like that
; s
he made grilled steaks, seafood, pasta
,
and healthy shit like that. It was good, but nobody wanted to eat healthy every single day of their lives. Gina had that down south thing goin
g
on. I might have been married, but my stomach was a free agent.

“Come on in here and get you a plate.” She disappeared inside her apartment
,
leavin
g
the door open for me to follow her inside. She still had that ass. I tried not to look, but I was only a man
; m
y flesh was weak. I loved Meesha to death, but Meesha was nowhere around. Lookin
g
at ass wasn’t a crime.
O
ut of respect for her
,
I didn’t do it in front of my wife
-
but it was hard for a nigga like me. Bein
g
faithful wasn’t realistic. People fuck up. Dicks get hard
,
and pussies get wet, but that was no reason to dismantle an entire family. That’s the difference between niggas and bitches
: b
itches put they heart in a fuck
; n
iggas just put they
dicks
in it.

I went inside and sat down at the table with the woman who years before
had
g
iven
birth to my stillborn son. We talked for a li
tt
l
e
while about my family. Gina had seen Meesha around the hood when she was younger, but she really didn’t know her. I even whipped out the Gucci wallet my wife bought me for Christmas and showed off a few flicks of our li
tt
l
e
girls. Gina then went on to tell me about her new man
,
Curtis. They’d been together for the last two years
,
and in about seven months they
’
d be married. She was never able to get her kids back, but she did get visitation. She was satisfied knowin
g
that they were adopted into a good family. Sheila and Marcus Winston were good churchgoin
g
people who provided an excellent home and a strong foundation for the kids. They knew Gina was their biological mother
; t
he Winstons never tried to hide that from them. Gina just hoped that one day when they were older they
’
d be able to understand why she gave them up.