Boss Bitch Swag (20 page)

Chapter 30

I married Boss on Valentine’s Day. Our wedding was perfect
; i
t wasn’t huge
,
and it wasn’t flashy, but it was everything I dreamed it would be. On that day
,
I looked into my man’s eyes and promised to love him for the rest of my life. I really took that shit to heart. No matter how many women claimed to share a one
-
nighter with him
,
I just couldn’t bring myself to let him go. I wasn’t wearin
g
blinders any longer
: h
e cheated on me
,
and I knew it. It wasn’t a one
-
time thing
;
i
t was ongoing. I didn’t dare try and count how many there were
, though
. As long as he kept them away from me and our daughter
,
I could deal. Boss was just Boss. He never changed. He was the same man on our wedding day that he was on the da coas on ty I first met him.

After the reception
,
we boarded a plane and flew to Mexico for our honeymoon.
Cozumel was paradise.
An entire week of nothing but tropical drinks and makin
g
love on the beach was just what we needed. Boss left Pee-Wee in charge of his entire operation. Whatever came up
,
he was to handle it. We were not under any circumstances to be disturbed. Most days we didn’t even leave our room. I was already in love with him, but after those seven days I was dangerously in love. Nobody knew my man’s heart like I did
, and h
e trusted only me with it. That made me feel so damn special.

It didn’t take long for things to go back to normal once we returned home. I was back in school and stretched to my limits. It seemed like the baby was always cryin
g;
Boss wanted home cooked meals
; t
he dogs needed to be walked
,
and their big asses wouldn’t act right for anybody but me
;
Mama wanted me to help her redecorate her bedroom
;
Angie wanted me to take her to the park all the time
;
I had the SATs to study for
;
I was tired all the time
,
both physically and mentally. There was just always so much to do
, s
ometimes I didn’t know if I was comin
g
or goin
g
. I got woke up at five am and sometimes didn’t get to bed until one or two the next morning. My schedule was tight. If I was barely surviving high
school
,
I had no clue how I was goin
g
to tackle college.

I decided to skip prom
; d
ancin
g
with Boss at our wedding was enough for me. It wasn’t like I was your typical high
school student
:
I was married with a child.
Besides, b
eing home with my family was enough for me. I didn’t feel like I was missin
g
anything.
Instead, i
t was the exact opposite
:
I felt like I was far ahead of the crowd. Yes, it was hard, but it was worth it. My husband and our daughter were worth all the missed sleep. They were even worth all the stress headaches. The moment I walked through the door and saw that big man lyin
g
on the couch with our daughter sleepin
g
on his chest
,
I knew they were worth the struggle.

“Hey
,
” I spoke softly into Boss’ ear. “I’m gonna go put her in her bed.”

“Will you come back and put me in mine?” His eyes weren’t even open
,
but I knew he could see me. He saw how hard I was workin
g,
and he praised my work ethic. He saw how much I loved our daughter
,
and he told me how good a mother I was. He also saw how much he meant to me
,
and he appreciated it a lot more than I gave him credit for. It wasn’t easy to love Boss
,
but it also wasn’t easy for Boss to be loved. He was so used to bein
g
left behind that he was always expectin
g
me to leave
,
to
o
. Even when I did
, though,
I never stayed gone long. I knew he was miserable without his family
y,
so I always came back home. I couldn’t bear to think of him in pain.

I took Malaysia to her room and laid her in her crib. As soon as I tried to walk out of the room
,
she started to fuss. I placed my hand gently on her back and began to rub in small
,
soft circles
– and s
he was out in fifteen seconds flat. Her night was over
,
while
M
ama’s was just beginning.

“My dick hard as a muthafucka
,
” Boss declared as soon as I closed our bedroom door behind me.

We had the same thing on our minds. The mood was set. The lights were off. The blunt was already rolled. All I had to do was let myself enjoy it
, and b
ein
g
with Boss made that easy. I treasured every moment I got with him. Other women might have had his body, but they would never have his heart.

“I hope that’s some fire.” I was ambiguous on purpose.

“The dick or the chronic?”

“I already know that dick’s fire.” I sashayed my way over to our bed. “Fire up.”

He put the blunt between his thick lips
,
then flicked the lighter and created a spark. Watchin
g
him smoke was like watchin
g
porn. He turned me on in so many different ways. I wanted him every hour of every
day. Our relationship was flawed
, and o
ur love sometimes wavered
-
but our sex was perfect. It was the one thing we never got wrong.

As soon as I was sure that
B
ig
D
addy was good and high
,
I straddled his chocolate body
,
then took the blunt out of his hand. It wasn’t even on my lips yet
,
and he was already unbuttoning my blouse. He stripped it from my body
,
then threw it to the floor. My bra was next. I was so horny that by the time he started rubbin
g
and palmin
g
my breasts
,
I forgot all about the lit blunt in my hand
;
Boss was all I needed to get high.

“Let me up.” His weed
-
smoker’s eyes were filled with passion. “I wanna eat that pussy.”

He didn’t have to tell me twice. Boss’ face game was extraordinary. When he ate the box
,
I came every time. The mixture of weed with his tongue was enough to send me straight to the heavens and back. That night
,
we were better than good
:
we were astounding. I did all the freaky li
tt
l
e
shit he liked
, and i
t wasn’t just sex
; i
t was something far greater and much more meaningful. We connected on a whole other level
, and n
o words were needed to communicate
; o
ur bodies did all
the talkin
g
for us. I sucked that nigga’s dick so good that I put him to bed for the night. It felt good to finally knock
out the champ.

Chapter 31

Graduation day was a turnin
g
point in my life. My entire family showed up to support me
, and
Boss was front and center. He was so proud of me. Finally
,
I felt like all the hard work was startin
g
to pay off. When the principal got in front of the entire student body and called my name
,
I felt this incredible rush of pride
; i
t was like I could do anything. The nerves didn’t hit me until it was time to give my
V
aledictorian speech. Standin
g
up on that stage in front of all those people was paralyzing
;
I almost started to doubt all the progress I
’
d made in my fifth period Public Speaking class. My teacher
,
Ms. Harris
,
told me I was ready, but
as I
look
ed
around
,
Ms. Harris was nowhere to be found. That’s when I began my frantic search. Boss was the only person who could get me through. When I looked out over the sea of judgmental faces
,
his stood out like a beacon of light. He just smiled at me and gave me the Boss nod
,
and
I
knew everything was goin
g
to work out fine. It always did with us.

After my speech
,
Boss took everybody out
to
dinner to celebrate. We waited a while for Pee-Wee, but he never showed. That wasn't like him
; h
e usually never missed a family event. Boss knew something wasn’t right
, so h
e called his cousin’s cell a dozen times
-
but got no answer. He even called some chick named Sabrina's house
,
who apparently had been sleepin
g
with Pee-Wee for some time
; n
o luck there either. She told Boss she hadn’t heard from him in two days
,
and that wasn’t like the sex junkie she knew. All I had to do was look at Boss to know what he was thinkin
g
. The satisfied smile he wore earlier that day was gone
; h
e was preparin
g
hi
m
self for the worst.

We were walkin
g
out of the restaurant when he got the call
:
Pee-Wee had been shot seven times and was in critical condition. We rushed to the hospital to be at his side
,
the same way he was always at ours.

Pee-Wee had so many tubes and wires connected to his body that it was downright shockin
g
. Boss could barely stand
, so
I stood beside him while he sat in a chair beside his cousin. It was all I could do. This problem couldn’t be ignored. I couldn’t just sweep it under the rug and pretend it wasn’t there. Pee-Wee wasn’t just some chick with a grudge
;
I knew that if Boss lost him
,
he
’
d be losin
g
so much more than a cousin or an employee
: h
e
’
d be
losing
a large part of who he was. I hoped and prayed for the best, but I feared the worst. I asked God to please spare my husband andho husbands lieutenant and most trusted friend. Boss had already lost so many people close to him
,
I didn’t know if he could take another loss
-
especially one that big. Pee-Wee had been there for him for most of his life
, and h
e was the one person Boss trusted with
both
my life and Malaysia’s.

“How can a nigga that big look so fuckin’ helpless?” Boss questioned aloud. “He supposed to be fightin’
-
but the nigga just looks like he sleepin’.”

“Baby, he’ll be okay.” I tried to comfort him by rubbin
g
his knotted shoulders. “You have to believe that. Pee-Wee
’
s strong. He’ll get through this.”

On the outside
,
I was bein
g
as strong as possible for Boss’ benefit
, but i
nside I was still beggin
g
God to let him survive. I had to do it. My husband needed me. There were so many times before when he was the one bein
g
strong for me. It was the very least I could do.