Born of Shadows (29 page)

“People see their own sins in others.”

“Yeah, I guess.” He returned to sit closer to her.

Desideria tried to remain nonchalant, but his nearness was so distracting that it was hard to focus on anything other than how much she wanted to curl up in his arms. “So what’s the worst thing that’s happened to you?”

He pulled away.

“Caillen?”

She saw the veil that came down over him, shielding him from what he obviously thought was a probing question. “I have many to choose from and really don’t want to talk about any of them.”

“I’m sorry.”

He scoffed. “Don’t be. As my bud Nyk says, life makes victims of us all.” He took another drink. “So what about your father? Is he on the ship with your mom?”

“No. He died a long time ago.”

To her shock, he put his arm around her and gave her a tender squeeze. “I feel your pain. It sucks to lose someone you love when you’re too little to really understand why they’re gone.”

“Do you ever really understand?”

Caillen paused as he considered that. “No. Death sucks always.”

Yes, it did. And she really didn’t want to think about that right now either. Instead, she went back to something he’d said earlier. “Do you really think my eyes are pretty?”

He flashed her a wicked grin. “Baby, if it wasn’t for the fact you’d slap me, I’d show you exactly how beautiful I think all of you is.”

She blushed. “I am so not used to being around someone as outspoken as you.” Or anyone who complimented her on anything.

“Yeah. I’m told I’m unique unto myself.”

“That you are.”

He pulled his arm back to his body. They sat on the floor, their hips barely touching. Her legs were stretched out before her while his were bent at the knees and he kept one arm braced on his leg. It was a decidedly masculine pose.

His eyes flashed as he offered her an odd half smile. “You are not what I expected the first time I saw you.”

She gave him an arch stare. “I think I’m closer to what I appear to be than you are.”

He laughed. “True. I’m not much of a prince.”

There he was wrong. He was closer to one than anyone she’d ever met before. And that turned her thoughts back to what they needed to do. “Shouldn’t we be leaving and getting—”

“Too much activity right now. I’d wait at least another two hours and then we’ll try for it.”

That made sense. “What did you find when you went out?”

“A
lot
of Andarions.”

And he certainly looked the part. Though to be honest, she was getting used to his long black hair and those creepy weird eyes. Even the fangs were starting to grow on her.

“Does it hurt to eat with the fangs in?”

“Only if I bite my cheek.”

She laughed.

His gaze turned suddenly serious as he went back to their earlier topic. “So what’s the worst thing that ever happened to you?”

Her heart dropped at the unexpected question. Now she understood his defensiveness. But in her case, she had nothing to hide. She lived with her pain every day. “Watching my sister die in my arms.”

The color drained from his face as he let out an audible gasp. “What happened?”

“Training accident.” Her throat tightened as the familiar pang of grief choked her. “My aunt had been pushing us on an obstacle course. Shayla went to climb over a spiked barrier while Narcissa was fighting her and the rope broke. I can still hear her scream as she fell in front of me. I tried to grab her, but she weighed too much to hold. She slipped right past me and was impaled before I could stop it. I did my best to save her eve after she’d fallen. But the spikes had cut through her femoral artery and she bled out in a matter of minutes.”

A muscle worked in his jaw as if he felt her pain too. “I’m so sorry.”

She blinked several times, trying to banish the sting in her eyes. She wouldn’t weep in front of him. It was forbidden. Still, the pain of losing her sister bit deep and she would give anything if she could have kept her from dying. To have that one moment back and to undo it. Why was life so unfair?

“You know my mother didn’t even cry. When we told her about Shayla’s fall, she glared at us and said that’s what happens when you’re incompetent. She said a real warrior would have been able to save herself, and if I’d been stronger and quicker, I might have been able to spare her. She claimed it was the will of the gods that Shayla died for her weakness. But I don’t believe that.”

“How old was she?” he asked.

“Sixteen.”

He let out a low whistle. “And you?”

“Fourteen.”

Caillen wanted to beat her mother for the cruelty. Not just in her sister’s death, but for the coldness of not comforting Desideria. Telling a kid that it was her fault her sister had died in front of her… What a bitch. That was just so wrong. “What happened to your other sister?”

That too was forever etched into her memory. Even now, it played out in slow motion in her mind. “Narcissa killed her in a practice match. They were sparring and Cissy’s sword strike cut her throat when she accidentally tripped over a piece of broken tile in the ring.”

Looking back now, she wondered how much of an accident it’d been. If Narcissa was trying to kill their mother to rule, it would make sense that she’d sabotaged the tile and then used it to kill Bethali.

He curled his lip. “How old was she?”

“Seventeen.”

His scowl left deep lines in his forehead. “Why were you using real swords for a practice match?”

She didn’t comprehend his anger. “You don’t use fake ones in battle. Why would you use them in practice?”

“Because it’s stupid to use something that could kill the person you’re training. They don’t even do that in the League at that age, and believe me, those bastards seldom pull punches.”

His words offended her. “They’re not training Qillaqs.”

“Do you really believe what you’re saying?”

She wanted to keep her bluster up and defend her people. But the truth was very different. “No. I thought it was ridiculous to kill them over simple mistakes and I hate that they’re no longer with me. I like to think that when I have a child, I’ll be kinder to her and protect her better.” But she lived in fear every day that she’d wake up as heartless as her mother and sister.

As heartless as her aunt.

And that brought out another memory that she did her best to keep to herself. Yet, sitting here with Caillen, it came tumbling out of her mouth before she could stop it. “You know I had a brother.”

His jaw went slack. “Really? What happened to him?”

“I don’t know. He was born before I was and sent away. My aunt would use his disappearance to motivate us. She’d say that if we didn’t please her or my mother, we’d be sent away too.”

Her gaze burned him as all those threats and fear of what had become of her brother poured through her. “I’ve never told anyone about this before. Talking isn’t exactly something we do and shared confidences are the worst sort of suicidal act. Whatever is said will be used against you at the worst possible time.”

“Then why tell me?”

She shook her head as she tried to understand that herself. “I don’t know. Weird, huh?”

“Not really. We’re in a bad situation, stuck in a hole for a few hours alone. People do all kinds of strange things when they’re under fire.”

The way he said that… it made her wonder what experience of his had prompted it. “So what’s the strangest thing you’ve ever done while being chased?”

“Strangest or stupidest?”

“Is there a difference?”

He paused then smiled. “Not really. My strangest probably was my dumbest move of all time.”

“Which was?”

“I shot my sister.”

She gaped at his words. “What? Which one? Why?”

He laughed at her stupor. “Relax, sweet. I did it to save Kasen’s life so that I could go to jail for her.”

It was noble.

Foolish, but noble. “Why would you do that?”

“I told you. Stupidity.” He feigned a moment of innocence before he answered. “With her health and crappy personality, I knew she wouldn’t be able to survive jail. The inmates there would cut her head off three minutes after incarceration. I, on the other hand, am a little tougher and can take whatever they throw at me.”

Still… she couldn’t imagine having someone love her so much that they’d put their own life, their freedom, on the line to protect her. “That was a nice thing to do.”

He shrugged it off. “Where I come from, it’s what family does.”

Caillen checked his watch, then stood up. “You ready to get out of here?”

“You think we’ve passed enough time?”

“God, I hope so. Otherwise this will be a short trip.” He winked at her.

She made a “heh” sound at him before she pushed herself to her feet. “What’s the plan?”

“While I was out, I found the local bay. It was pretty bustling then, but I’m hoping it’s calmed down by now. If it is, we should be able to commandeer a ship.”

Commandeer… she adored his word choice. “You’re not suggesting we steal something, are you?”

His expression turned impish. “Stealing is such an ugly word.”

“Stealing is wrong.”

Still those eyes teased her. “Look, Princess, survival has no morals. You do what you have to or you die.”

Perhaps, but she’d been raised differently. “I disagree. The depth and strength of our character is defined by our moral code. People only reveal themselves when they’re thrown out of the usual conditions of their lives. That’s when the truth of who they are is revealed and I am not a thief.”

“Neither am I, but I see nothing wrong with borrowing something we need for a bit. If not for the fact they’d eat my head, I would ask. As it is, I’ll make sure they get it back once we’re safe.”

“Sure you will.” She didn’t mean to be such a bitch, but this
really
offended her.

He stiffened, his humor completely gone. “Now who’s judging whom? Fine. Stay here. Give my regards to the Andarions. I’d rather get back to my father and make sure he lives.”

Desideria watched as he headed for the trapdoor and removed his mirror devices. Part of her wanted to hold her morality close. But in the end, she knew he was right. She couldn’t stay here and let her mother be hurt.

Disgusted with herself and what they were about to do, she got up and followed after him.

He arched a taunting brow as she caught up to his side.

She glared at that smugness. “Not one word or I swear I’ll gut you where you stand. If my mother’s life wasn’t in danger, I would
never
agree to this.”

“Love is the greatest corruptor ever known and has been the number one downfall of mankind since the first creation.”

She didn’t comment as they kept to the shadows while navigating through the empty streets. Lifting her cowl into place around her head, she realized that he was moving a lot easier this time than he’d been when he left earlier. Even so, it was a miracle he could move at all given the severity of his injuries.

She was still sore from the crash, but nowhere near as badly hurt as he’d been.

They kept to the back alleyways, out of the sight of the people on the street or surveillance cameras. Caillen seemed to have an uncanny ability to see them and stay out of their range.

Desideria hesitated as she saw another camera on the street that was too close for comfort. “We’re being watched.”

“No. I’ve got a jammer. By the time they realize we were here, we’ll be gone. All they see is static.”

“Is that why you’re avoiding them?”

“Better safe than sorry.”

He was probably right about that. And as they drew closer to the bays, the amount of cameras and activity picked up exponentially. But at least it wasn’t people bustling about. The bay seemed to be fully automated. Machinery buzzed and whirred as they slipped inside the hangar.

Caillen froze instantly, causing her to run into his back.

She scowled up at him. “What are you doing?”

He didn’t speak for several heartbeats as he stared at a black ship in the rear corner. From the style, she knew it to be a fighter class—an older model. The paint was streaked by what appeared to be a blast mark. Other than that, it looked like all the other ones here.

Why would he stare at it?

Unless…

She swallowed as fear gripped her. “Is it the assassin?”

Again, he refused to answer as he skimmed around the wall toward it.

Frustrated, she trailed after him, dying to know what was going on and why he was acting so strangely.

Caillen ducked his head as he slid toward the cockpit entrance. Just as he reached the fighter’s ladder that deep, sinister voice she’d heard on his link spoke out of the darkness.

“Move and die.”

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