Born of Legend (86 page)

She hooked her heels behind his back and pulled him in even deeper.
“Kimi ti, mi ixur.”

“Iki, tu, hæfre
.”

She sank her fangs into his neck an instant before she came in his arms.

Jullien savored every shudder of her body against his as he waited for her finish. Only when she was completely sated did he join her.

Her eyes glowing with warmth and love, she placed her well-manicured hand that held her wedding ring against the tattoo in the center of his chest, over his heart. No one before her had ever looked at him the way she did.

Without scorn or hatred.

Without judgment.

With total acceptance.

She traced the petals of the rose with her fingernail, leaving a trail of goose bumps on his chest. “I wish I could keep you inside me forever.”

Cupping her breast, he smiled down at her. “You're always inside me. There's not an instant of the day when I don't carry you in my heart.”

Ushara bit back a sob at his tender words. “What's bothering you? And don't say
nothing.
I know you better.”

With a ragged breath, he withdrew from her and pulled his pants up to fasten them. “Guilt.”

Terrified of what he might have done while away, she paused as she righted her uniform. She tried not to jump to any conclusions, but her mind was running rampant with all manner of horrors. “Over what?”

He toyed with a lock of her hair. “I fucked up, Shara. And it's getting harder to live with it.”

“What did you do?” She was really struggling to keep the anger from her tone. If it involved another female, she was going to kill them both.

Grief and pain marred his brow before he answered. “You know what I did. What I deprived my daughters of … and you and Vas. All of you should be living in a palace, with servants to fetch for you. I saw Annalise and Drake Cruel while I was on Caron. And it pains me that I can't wrap my children up in finery, or you in jewels.” He picked her hand up so that he could brush his thumb over her small wedding bands. “I still haven't been able to save up enough to buy you a decent ring.”

Relieved that was all it was, she took his hand into hers and held it tight. “I don't need a bigger ring. And the girls want for nothing. Trust me. You and Trajen have spoiled them rotten. I can't imagine them having more. As for Vasili, he's never cared about things. If he did, he'd stay in school and study hard to make more money. Instead, he wants to be with you, flying at warp speed. It's all he's wanted since the day he insisted we not leave you behind on Sterador.”

“I still feel like I've deprived all of you.”

“Of what?
Your
childhood?”

“Yeah, that sucked. But the palace and grounds were nice. Having your ass kissed in stores and restaurants was even nicer.”

She laughed at his quirky grin. Kissing his lips, she cupped his face in her hand. “
You
have deprived them of nothing. Your parents made that decision. And they're the ones who've lost in this, much more than you have. They walked away from a wonderful son with a caring heart that they chose not to see. By turning their backs on you, they'll never know the beauty of our daughters or Vas. Never see what an incredible father and husband you are. So what if we don't live in a massive, cold palace? Instead, we have my crazy family, who piles in daily and intrudes at all hours of the day and night. I'd rather laugh with my sisters and brothers, and listen to the raucous play of our children with their cousins.”

“You're right. I would much rather be here with all of you. There's nothing I would take for one single memory of our family.”

And still that sadness remained behind his eyes, that tugged at her heart. She knew he loved them. But she also knew that it had to hurt to be so rejected by his birth family. To stand so close to them and to see them, and not be a part of their world.

As she fastened her top, she caught him staring at the news on the monitor. It was an interview with his mother, who sat in her office, surrounded by the official Andarion royal family portraits—none of which included Jullien. His brother's picture was there, as were those of his aunt, her partner, and Jullien's sister-in-law with his niece and nephews. Even Eriadne and his evil cousins who'd done him so wrong were on the wall.

But not a single image of him.

Yeah,
that
had to burn.

Taking his hand, she leaned against his shoulder.

He looked down and gave her a gentle smile. “I know. Let it go.”

“She's your mother, Jules. That's a little different.”

Jullien didn't comment on that. He couldn't, because Ushara was right. Unlike his grandmother's cruelty, his mother's abandonment had always burned like a fire inside him. It'd left a hole that nothing healed.

What is so wrong with me that neither of my parents could love me? Could even tolerate being in a room with me?

What disgusted him most was that even at his current age, he still had a childish urge to do something to get their attention. To act out and force them to deal with him … Which sadly, was what had brought him to this place in his life. He'd pushed them too far.

But there was nothing he could do about it now. It was ancient history.

Forcing himself not to think about it, he shook himself mentally. “I should head home and tell Vasili he's now my cock. That should ruin his day and make me feel better.”

She laughed. “I would say you're wrong, but I have a feeling he wanted to get a little independence.”

“Oh, I know he did. It's why I can't wait to hear the sounds of his screaming in agony.” He winked at her. “I'll pick up the girls and see you at dinner.”

“Okay. Love you.”

“You, too.”

Ushara watched as he left with that sexy swagger that never failed to make her want to take a bite of his shapely rump. Wishing she knew some way to make him feel better, she turned up the sound and listened to her mother-in-law.

“Andaria will stand with the Caronese. We don't condone any military organization that invades our nation without invitation or provocation, and holds our citizens as prisoners without due process. It was an Andarion who first founded The League to protect our worlds. It would be remiss of me as tadara if I didn't help to protect the innocent now.”

Ushara ground her teeth and turned it off. “Protect the innocent?” she snarled.

Yeah, nice talk from the same queen who'd abandoned her son into the hands of animals to fend for himself, first as a child. And then as an adult.

No … worse than animals. Cairistiona allowed a kill warrant to stand on his life.

Grimacing, Ushara couldn't even bear to think on it. “You better hope I never meet you, Tadara.” If she did, she'd most likely shoot her on sight.

*   *   *

Jullien pushed open the door to Vasili's room and allowed the twins to run in on their brother and swarm him while he was playing his game against his cousins online. At seventeen, Vasili was a far cry from the defiant little boy Jullien had saved. He now looked more like a full-grown Andarion than the child who'd won his heart.

Worse? Vas was almost eye level with him these days, and getting taller and more muscular every day. Yet even so, whenever he looked at him, Jullien still saw the shy boy he'd taught to shave. The one who'd been so timid the first time he asked a female out. The same child who used to sneak past his yaya and work with him in the hangar bay after school.

But it was a struggle sometimes to find that boy inside the adult who was trying so hard to break free from their protection, and claim his own place in an extremely dangerous universe that Jullien knew would have no mercy on him. Especially when that adult was surly and lippy, and not as mindful of his mother's more tender feelings as Jullien felt he should be.

“Hey!” Vas shouted in true annoyance as the twins jumped on him. “I'm busy here!”

“Can I help?” Mira tried to grab the controller from his hands.

“I want to play!” Viv was attempting to climb up her brother's leg.

“Mum!” Vas shouted. “Can you get your spiders to quit trying to scale up my body? I'm not a tree!” Growling, he picked Mira up and set her gently on the bed. Then he did the same with Viv.

Thinking it was a game, they laughed and scrambled down to go after him again.

“Mum!” Vas repeated as he tried to extricate himself from their cloying grasps.

“Not your matarra.” Jullien entered the room fully.

Vasili immediately forgot about the game as he realized he might be in trouble for withdrawing from school. “Um…” He looked around nervously before he picked up Mira to hold in front of his body and use as a shield. He held her out toward Jullien. “They've grown a lot this last month, haven't they?”

Crossing his arms over his chest, Jullien ignored the question. “Want to explain to me about school?”

Vas set his giggling sister down and sighed while he turned the game off. “I didn't fit in there.”

“Why didn't you call me before you withdrew?”

“I didn't think you'd take my side.”

Jullien tsked at him. “This isn't about sides, Vas. Your mom and I only want what's best for you.”

“I know.” Vas sighed. “So did you reinstate me for classes?”

“No. You're an adult. On Andaria, we'd be planning your unification by now. And while I respect that your mother still wants you in nappies, I know we have to give you the right to decide your future, even when we don't agree with it.” Jullien grabbed the bag he'd left out in the hallway and set it down next to Vas's feet. “The rest of your gear will be delivered tomorrow.”

Vas gaped as he realized it was a Tavali soft battlesuit and boots. “Is this for real? You're not messing with me?”

“Not messing with you.”

Grabbing a twin from the floor, Vas squeezed his sister tight and kissed her cheek. “Look, Mira!” He pulled the sleeve out that bore his Gorturnum cock badge. “I'm a Tavali-in-training!”

“Is that good?”

“It's awesome!”

“Yah!” She threw her arms out and waved them for him.

Jullien laughed as Vas set her down so that she and Viv could chew on Vas's controllers.

“So what ship am I assigned to? Who's my captain?”

“Pet Hate.”
Jullien gave that a few minutes to seep in before Vas screwed his face up and groaned out loud.

“Seriously?”

Jullien arched his brow. “You really want to be hazed and see your parents jailed for ripping the spine out of another Tavali?”

Turning slightly green, Vas let go of the sleeve. “Oh, I hadn't thought about that.”

“We have. Trust me. This is much easier. On us all. And if you really want the hazing, Thrāix and I can make you wash out toilets with your toothbrush. I'm more than willing to find a few noxious chores for you.” He cut a meaningful gaze down to the girls.

Vas laughed. “Mmm, think I'll pass on that.”

Jullien grinned at him. “Thought you might.” Glad that Vas was acclimating to the idea, he herded the twins toward the door.

“Paka?”

He paused to glance back at his son. “Yeah?”

“Are you mad at me?”

“That you want to grow up and become Tavali? No. I'm hurt that you felt like you couldn't talk to us before you pulled out of school. We've never given you a reason to not trust us. And I know you're not a coward.”

Vas hung his head. “You're right. I'm not a coward. I was afraid you'd talk me into staying. And then I'd keep being miserable.”

“Was it really
that
bad?”

Vas sat on the floor of his room as the girls ran by in the hallway behind Jullien, screaming and laughing in play. He snorted at the sight of them. Sobering, he met Jullien's gaze. “Have you ever felt like you didn't really belong somewhere? Like you were going through the motions and doing what you were supposed to, but something inside you was dying a little every day because it wasn't where you should be, and you knew it?” He raked his hand through his hair. “You probably have no idea what I mean.”

“No,
tana,
I get it. In a way you can't imagine. University was one of the few places where I felt like I belonged and was accepted. At least sometimes. While I was still isolated from the other students, who didn't know what to make of my security detail or the fact that I was tahrs, my primary professors were delighted that I had an interest in their subjects. Granted, a few were only trying to suck up, thinking that I'd endow them after graduation, but a handful of them had a real interest in helping me advance my studies. I treasured them for the fact that they spoke to me like I was normal and made me feel welcome in their classes. I'm sorry you didn't have the same experience.”

“Yeah. It was so weird. While I didn't have a problem keeping up, it was like they knew I wasn't one of them. No matter what I tried, they cut me out and wouldn't include me.”

“Their loss.”

“Thanks for understanding.”

Jullien inclined his head to him. “You know, Vas, we don't have to agree with your decisions to support them. The gods know your mother supports my stupid ideas all the time while grinding her teeth.”

Vas laughed. “I have seen her do that.”

“Yeah. It's what being a family is. No matter what you do, right or wrong, we will always be here for you.… Though, we hope you always do right. And we will always catch you when you stumble and fall.”

Vas got up and hugged him. “Love you, Paka.”

“You, too. Now, let me go see what the girls are into. I don't like it when they're quiet. It's usually a bad sign.”

Vas nodded in agreement. “Yeah. Last time that happened, I found them flushing Mum's makeup down the toilet.”