Born of Defiance (41 page)

Her tears fell down her cheeks. “Talyn—”

“Shh.” He silenced her with another kiss as he wiped away the tears. “You know I'm stralen for you, Felicia. Your life is far more important to me than mine is. And I understand that you don't have the same feelings for me that I have for you. I accept that. We both know we can't marry. And I'm the armada's and Anatole's bitch. I would never blame you if you left me. It's the smart thing to do. I just … I want you to be happy.”

“
You're
what makes me happy. I'm going to find some way around this, Talyn. I swear it.”

“I wish you luck. The gods know, I haven't been able to think of anything. But I do love you. Never, ever doubt that.” He squeezed her gently one more time, then stepped back. “I'll call as soon as I can and let you know what my new orders are.”

Unable to speak past the grief that choked her, she nodded and walked with him to the lift. Her heart broke for him. Most of all, it broke for her having to let him go when all she wanted to do was hold on tighter.

And after he released her hand and stepped inside the lift and the doors closed, she fell to her knees, sobbing.

An overwhelming fear that she'd never see him again tore through her.
I can't live without you, Talyn. Please, please don't leave me.

 

C
HAPTER
22

Talyn forced himself to slide his link into his pocket before he gave in to the ferocious need he had to call Felicia on his way back to post. He had to acclimate himself to not having her in his life.

To making it through the day without her smile in his heart.

It would be best to let her go. For all of them.

Strange, when he'd approached the agency to contract with her a few months ago, he'd never once considered that he might actually fall in love with his companion. He'd just wanted someone to be nice to him whenever he had a few hours of liberty. A female who would help with a simple biological necessity.

He'd assumed that she would treat him like everyone else did. Subpar. And watch the clock until he was gone and she could return to her life and friends.

The last thing he'd expected was a female who looked at him and treated him like he was fully Vested. One who actually liked him and wanted to spend time in his company.

Now …

Felicia owned him. Heart and soul. Mind and body. He wasn't really the armada's bitch.

He was Felicia's. Happily so. She was the one thing he couldn't live without. Worse, she was the one weakness that could destroy him.

Damn.

Leaving her was so painful. Like having a limb ripped from his body.
You're an idiot
.
Just let her go and move on.

It was the sanest and safest thing to do.

The problem was learning how to live without her again. Which made no sense. He'd lived the vast majority of his life without any knowledge of her existence. She'd only been in his life for a few months.

Yet he needed her in ways he wouldn't have thought possible. For the first time, he was beginning to understand his mother and why she still loved his bastard father after everything he'd done to them. If she'd felt one-tenth of this for Fain Hauk, he totally got why she wouldn't let him bad-mouth the male who deserved it. Why his mother had never looked twice at anyone else.

Yes, some of it was the stralen. But even before it'd set in, Talyn had been viciously drawn to Felicia against all sanity. Honestly, he'd fallen in love with her picture before they even met. There had just been something in her eyes that had reached out to him and made him burn for her. Made him want to sink himself inside her warmth and hold her until time ended.

Talyn started to pull out the link and call her, until he realized it was too late. They were pulling in to base.

Damn it! He should have been talking to her the whole time. There was no telling when he'd have a chance to speak to her again.

If ever.

I fucking blew it.
He could kick his own ass for being so stupid.

The transport stopped as the guard approached his window. Talyn rolled it down and handed over his security badge that had yet to be updated with his new rank. “Reporting for duty.”

Without a word and with a curled lip of repugnance over Talyn's bald head, the guard returned his ID, saluted him, and stepped back.

Out of habit, Talyn returned the salute before the transport carried him to the duty office. With a tight knot in his stomach, he got out to see what fresh hell awaited him.

As soon as he entered, the DO contacted Anatole to let him know that Talyn was there. She then showed him into the colonel's office, where Anatole sat with a smirk on his face.

This was the first time Talyn had seen the bastard since he'd been at their mercy. And it took every ounce of will he possessed not to attack him. Or to kick his desk straight into his chest.

Don't do it.

He's not worth a death sentence.

That's what his common sense said. His sense of justice, however, begged him hard to do it, anyway, regardless of consequence.

The repugnant asshole hesitated before he returned Talyn's salute. “You're on KP and GP, janitorial duties. I trust neither of those will interfere with your recovery,
Lieutenant
.”

“No, sir.”

“Then welcome back. So nice to have you here again.” His voice dripping with derisive sarcasm, he shoved the orders at Talyn.

Talyn picked them up, saluted, and left immediately before he gave in to his suicidal urges. But as he looked over his new orders, he wanted to turn around and shove them down Anatole's throat.

Whatever. He'd had worse, and this was leaps above what they'd done to him at the palace. At least the KCO wouldn't torture him.

He hoped.

Heading straight for his new assignment, Talyn reported for duty in the hot, stifling mess hall where they were already preparing the night's meal.

At first the major in charge sneered at him. Until he saw Talyn's name on his file. He expected the light of recognition had come from his fighting fame.

Shockingly, that wasn't the case.

“Batur … you related to Colonel Galene Batur?”

“Yes, sir. But she's a deputy commander now.”

He skimmed Talyn with a frown. “Are you her boy?”

“Yes, sir. Proudly so.”

His frown melted into a friendly smile. “You don't remember me, do you?”

There was something vaguely familiar, but Talyn couldn't really place it. “No, sir. Sorry.”

He brushed it off. “You were just a small mite back then. I was the one who brought flowers to your mother while she was in the hospital after she'd been shot, protecting Cairistiona.”

Talyn nodded as he remembered the male finally. “You helped me with my homework, while we waited for her to come back from testing.”

“Aha! It really is you. Yeah, I did.” He glanced down at the orders and scowled again. “This puts me at one hell of a moral dilemma, Batur.”

“How so, sir?”

“I was told to expect a smart-ass, disrespectful lack-Vest bastard. A coward. And that I should make sure you regretted whatever it is you did that caused you to lose rank and be sent to the mess hall. But I owe my life to your mother. She took three blasts for me and the tizarah while everyone else scattered to save their own asses. And you didn't seem disrespectful then, and you damn sure don't look the part now. Who did you piss off?”

“I'm not at liberty to say, sir. I signed a nondisclosure on the matter.”

He cursed under his breath. “That answers it. Can you cook at all?”

“I can run a household MU and boil water. Most of the time without catching anything on fire.”

The major laughed. “That's useless.… Tell you what, change into your ATUs, and I'll set you on refill duty and counter cleanup for the night.”

“Thank you, sir.” Talyn stepped back and saluted.

He returned it and dismissed him.

Grateful his new ACO didn't hate him, Talyn headed for his barracks. While he didn't relish refilling the meal stations, it could have been a lot worse.

As he reached his barracks, he was stopped by Captain Raohul. “Where you going, Batur?”

“My bunk and locker … sir.”

The captain snorted derisively. “You don't belong here. You're not a pilot anymore. You've been busted back to the gen-deck. Your belongings are in lockup there, pending your reactivation. Don't forget to change out your rank before you put on your uniform. It's a court-martial to misrep rank.”

Of course it was. Like he'd forget that?

But the captain wasn't trying to be kind. The prick's eyes gleamed with cruel satisfaction. “Thank you, sir, for the reminder.”

When Talyn stepped back, the captain grabbed his arm. “Did I dismiss you, Lieutenant?”

Talyn ground his teeth. “No, sir.”

“Then you stay planted.”

“Yes, sir.”

Glaring at him, the captain broke into Talyn's personal space. Something that was much more offensive to an Andarion than a human. “Are you giving me attitude, Lieutenant?”

“No, sir.”

“No?” He all but touched his nose to Talyn's. Of course, he had to stand on his tiptoes to do so. “I think I see rebellion in your eyes.”

“No, sir.”

“Captain!”

Sneering, he moved back, then gasped as he saw Felicia's brother heading toward them with long, angry strides. He immediately fell into a crisp salute.

Lorens narrowed his gaze on the captain before he returned it. “Are you all right, Batur?”

“Fine, sir.”

“Then, at ease.” He slid his gaze back to the captain. “You're dismissed.… Batur, walk with me.”

“Yes, sir.” Folding his hands behind his back, Talyn followed Lorens.

As soon as they were alone, Lorens relaxed his formality. “Felicia told me that you were called in. I got here as fast as I could. How's it going?”

“It is what it is, sir.”

Lorens snorted. “Gods, you
are
military. You probably bleed red and black.” He paused to face Talyn. His gaze went to Talyn's epaulettes that bore his new rank. “I'm going to get you back on palace duty. We need someone in there.”

“I wish you luck with that, sir. I really do.”

“Commander?”

Talyn flinched as he heard Anatole's nasal voice. Locking his jaw to keep from saying anything, he turned and forced himself to salute the bastard, even though what he really wanted to do was plant his fist in Anatole's haughty face.

Anatole completely ignored him to salute Lorens, who was obviously put out by his appearance. His gaze slid to Talyn before he snapped his attention back to Lorens. “May I ask why you're here, sir?”

“That's no concern of yours.”

Anatole sputtered. “I'm his CO … sir.”

“And I'm the second-in-command of the entire armada. I don't believe I need
your
permission to speak with Batur.”

He panicked. “Whatever he's telling you is a lie. I don't know if you're aware of it, but this is retaliation.”

Lorens arched an intrigued brow. “For?”

“My aunt, the tadara, busted his rank for insubordination. So the allegations he's making against me are all lies.”

“All allegations made by any officer, regardless of rank, must be heard and fully investigated. You know that.” Lorens tried to lead Talyn away from Anatole.

“I didn't touch his whore!”

Talyn froze where he stood as those words went through him like a hot, searing knife.

No …

No, he didn't …

It's death to strike a member of the royal house.…

Fuck it.

Whirling, Talyn gave in to the demon inside him. He slugged the bastard with everything he had. And he would have done more had Lorens not pushed him back and blocked his access to Anatole as three provosts rushed forward with weapons drawn on him. His breathing ragged, Talyn tried to push past Lorens without hurting the male.

“Talyn!” Lorens snapped as he put himself between them. “Get ahold of yourself! Their weapons are set to kill,
not
stun!”

That finally sank in. Still craving blood, Talyn held his hands up and fought the urge to kick the bastard, who was laughing as he wiped the blood from his lips.

“You're going to pay for that,
Lieutenant
. With your life. Then, I'm going to find out for myself if your whore was worth it.”

Talyn went for him again, but the guards blocked his path.

“Take him to lockup!” Anatole ordered.

“Halt!” His face mirroring Talyn's rage, Lorens turned back toward Anatole. If the idiot had an ounce of preservation, he would have seen the fury in Lorens's eyes that matched Talyn's, and run for cover.

“Is he talking about Felicia?” Lorens asked Talyn coldly.

Trying his best not to leap again for Anatole's throat, Talyn gave a subtle nod.

“What happened?”

Talyn ground his teeth. This was not how he'd planned for Lorens to find out about the attack. Of course, the plan had been for him not to find out at all. Felicia's explicit order was to keep her brother out of it since they didn't know who had done it.

Now …

“I order you, Batur. Tell me what he's talking about!”

“Someone attacked Felicia on her way home, and tried to pull her into a transport. She said it happened so fast, she didn't know who it was.”

“The bruise on her face that she told me came from a doorjamb?”

Overwhelmed by rage at the reminder, Talyn went for Anatole again. One of the guards shot at him, narrowly missing his head.

“Stop!” Lorens ordered all of them.

“He's lying!” Chrisen snarled. “I didn't touch his whore!”