Boo Hiss (31 page)

She’d almost gone too. She’d been following a boy there. They’d broken up a few weeks before she was to enroll. And thank goodness, too. She’d realized after they broke up that college was not for her.

There was no way she would’ve been able to engage in that kind of commitment.

She glanced at the clock. She’d overslept! She had to hurry and get to the theater. Tonight was the big night!”

Wolfe wondered why confessing everything to the reverend was not making him feel any better.

“Wolfe,” the reverend said, “I know you’re anxious about all this, but I’m going to have to ask you to stop clawing the arm of the pew. We just refinished the wood.”

Wolfe balled up his hand. “Sorry.”

“You’re sure you’re not trying out a new novel idea on me? That’s quite a story.”

“I wish.” Wolfe shook his head and then lowered it into his empty hands. “I feel horrible. I’ve made a huge mess, and I don’t know how to help the situation.”

He felt the reverend’s hand on his back. “Listen, my friend. I’ve learned a few things recently. I was about ready to throw in the towel. Really, I was. I thought all these years I’ve been swimming upstream, making no progress, not helping anyone in any real way. But Sunday all that changed for me.”

“Why?”

“I realized there are certain things in my control, and certain things that aren’t. I can only control a very small part of the universe. It’s so minute nobody would even take a second look at it. But it’s what I can control, and nothing else. I thought this town was passing me by, you know? But I realized that the only thing that’s passing me by is life, if I don’t get up every day and expect God to do something big. He doesn’t always work in the way we think He should. I’ve been praying for this town for years. I didn’t expect an answer to arrive in a big coffee cup with a cell phone by its side. But here it is. And you know what? All I need to worry about is what God put me in charge of. God put me in charge of delivering His Word to His people every Sunday, and being here for the community in any way I can. I do that faithfully, and everything else will fall into place.”

Wolfe was nodding, but he wasn’t sure how to apply it to his situation.

“Wolfe, you can only control so much. Everything else will take its course.”

“Everything you’re saying is true. But I have to tell you, I don’t feel
much better.” He kept his hands folded in his lap to avoid any more damage to the furniture.

“You know what I always do when I can’t seem to shake it off?”

“What?”

“Remind myself that no matter what is happening, there are others who have it worse off than I do.”

The sanctuary doors flew open, and Martin Blarty rushed toward the reverend like he’d just witnessed a natural disaster. He was breathing hard, pumping his arms to increase his speed, when he finally reached them on the second pew from the front. “Reverend,” he said, leaning over to catch his breath.

“Martin? What’s the matter? Is someone hurt?”

Martin shook his head and finally stood straight up. He was grinning. “I’ve got the most unbelievable news!”

“What?”

“I’m getting married!”

C
HAPTER
29

L
OIS CHECKED THE PROPS
and the costume changes for the third and final time. Everything was ready to go, and all the actors had arrived right on schedule. It was here. Finally! Her big night. The only distraction had been Wolfe, who had tried to talk her into changing the ending back to the way it had been originally written. But Lois wouldn’t budge. She knew how to draw emotion from an audience, and it wasn’t by writing a predictable ending. Wolfe might be the expert in writing horror, but he wouldn’t know a romance if it took him to dinner.

She went backstage and encouraged everyone with a confident nod, except Sheriff Parker, to whom she gave a deliberate cold shoulder. He didn’t deserve the time of day, much less any encouragement. She found Mariée at the makeup mirror getting ready to apply the Ben Nye. “Oh, honey, you can’t apply your own makeup.”

“Why? I’m a Mary Kay expert.”

“But the diva never does her own makeup. It’s a longstanding theatrical tradition. It can bring bad luck if you do.” Lois pulled up a stool. “Honey, I’m going to make you into a woman you will never forget.”

Wolfe stood backstage, going over his lines one final time. The sheriff came up beside him. “Have you seen the crowd out there?”

“No. People are actually here?”

“Tons of people. Take a peek.” He parted the curtains slightly, and Wolfe looked out. People were streaming in. Ainsley was taking a seat on the front row with Melb and Oliver. The sheriff let the curtain fall back into place.

“This theater is going to be packed,” Wolfe said.

“I’m nervous,” the sheriff said. “I’ve never done anything like this before.”

“You’ll do fine. Do you have the new ending down?”

“Yeah. I still can’t figure out what I did to make Lois so mad. Do you think the new ending has anything to do with it?”

“I don’t know. It’s pretty weird. I mean, she builds the entire play around the idea that Lotus should be with Bart, not Gibb, then changes it at the last minute. Everyone is going to hate this play. I swear we may hear a boo-hiss at the end. And maybe get a few tomatoes thrown in our faces.”

“Well, at least I’ll be offstage for it all.”

“Yeah. I end it all with some crazy explanation about her change of mind.”

The sheriff chuckled. “Good thing you’re supposed to already be dead.” His laugh faded. “I don’t know how I’m going to get her back, but I’m going to do it. I think I love that woman. I’m not kidding. It’s a weird thing, because I never thought I would love another woman besides my wife. But Lois brings a lot of different things to my life. Makes it exciting again.”

Wolfe wasn’t sure how he should break the news that Martin and Lois had gotten engaged. Lois didn’t seem nearly as excited as Martin was. When they’d first arrived at the theater, Wolfe was walking in with Lois and said, “Congratulations. I heard the good news.”

Lois had responded, “I know. She’s about to fall to pieces.”

Wolfe didn’t know what that meant, and Lois had continued on into the theater without another word.

He stood there wondering if he could manage to get himself into any more awkward situations. He’d avoided the house all day long just in case Butch wanted to come by and question him about something. He figured if he could just get through this play, and possibly Thanksgiving dinner, without discussing it, then he could find a good time to tell Butch that he’d alerted Tarffeski to the fact that someone had the snake, and since Tarffeski was already suspecting Butch, he was pretty sure this was a bad thing.

The sheriff fidgeted, looking over his script, glancing up to see if Lois was walking by How painful this was going to be for the sheriff. Love was always full of surprises, a prime example being his marriage to Ainsley. But frankly, there was no reasonable explanation for this. And maybe Wolfe shouldn’t try to come up with one.

Then, from around the corner backstage, came a horrific scream. The sheriff took off running, and Wolfe followed. As they came around the corner, they saw Mariée in a heap of tears and Lois standing there with a makeup brush.

“What’s wrong?” asked the sheriff.

Mariée was crying so hard she couldn’t even speak. Lois was just shrugging and trying to find a few words of explanation.

“Lois, what is going on?” Wolfe asked as the rest of the actors crowded around.

“I don’t know,” Lois finally said. “One minute I’m doing her makeup, the next minute she’s crying.”

Mariée looked up, and black ribbons of mascara were falling down her cheeks. “This is awful!” she declared.

“What is awful?”

“Look at me! Look at my makeup! I can’t go on like this!”

“I’m sure Lois can fix the mascara,” Wolfe said, though he did notice, strangely, she looked more like a clown than a woman.

“I can’t be seen like this. Look at all this blush. And my eyes look like blue cupcakes.” She looked at Lois. “Where did you learn to do makeup?”

“It looks fine to me. Lotus is a woman who wears a lot of makeup. She’s not afraid of a little color.”

Mariées hands were shaking. Wolfe said, “Mariée, you’re going to have to calm down. Get ahold of yourself. The show starts in five minutes.”

Mariée, in barely a whisper, said, “Every woman knows a blonde with my complexion can’t carry off blue eye shadow and red lipstick.”

“Can’t we wash it? Start over?” Wolfe asked.

Lois looked at Mariée. “I don’t know if she can pull this off. She’s shaking like a leaf.”

“Mariée, look at me. Concentrate. Let’s do Scene 5, when the sheriff asks you if you would like to dance. Remember that scene?” Wolfe looked at the sheriff. “Say your line.”

“Lotus, it would be an honor if you’d dance with me
.”

“Double espresso, periwinkle, onyx,” Mariée said, her stunned expression frozen to her face.

“Sounds like she’s trying to order coffee,” the sheriff whispered.

“Strike-a-pose rose,” Mariée said.

Wolfe bent down to her level. “Mariée, you’re going to have to snap out of it.”

“Mocha blush duet,” she said as she looked at Wolfe.

The sheriff said, “Somebody go get this woman some coffee! She wants some coffee!”

“She’s reciting makeup colors,” Lois said.

The room grew still.

“Mariée,” Wolfe said, “can you tell me where you are?”

“Whipped cocoa,” she murmured.

“I’m telling you, she needs coffee.”

“Let me try,” Lois said, stepping closer. “Mariée, honey, I want you to listen to me very carefully.” Mariée focused on Lois, and for the first time blinked her eyes. “Good. Now, can you tell me what Lotus says to Gibb at the end of Scene 6?”

Mariée blinked again, and her mouth fell open an inch. Everyone leaned forward, willing an answer out of her. But after a few moments, her mouth closed and nothing was said.

“Mariée,” Lois said, “can you tell me what color of lipstick a woman with medium skin tone, green eyes, and blonde hair should wear?”

“Warm tones in the brown family.”

Lois turned to the crowd. “I think her nerves finally got to her.” Lois lowered her voice. “I’ve been afraid this might happen.”

“What are we supposed to do?” the sheriff asked.

“The show must go on.”

“How?”

Lois drew in a deep breath. “I will be playing the role of Lotus.”

Well into the second act, Wolfe was pleased. The crowd seemed engaged, and he was actually having a lot of fun. During one part of his narrative, he’d made eye contact with Ainsley and nearly started laughing, but for the most part, the play was holding up well. But then again, they hadn’t come to the ending. He hoped the crowd was familiar with the literary term
tragedy
.

Wolfe stood offstage, waiting for his cue. He was pretty impressed
with all the actors. Everyone had really turned it on for the performance, and was giving a hundred and ten percent. Even the sheriff had looked like he was really weeping in the scene when Lotus tells Bart about Gibb.

Wolfe closed his eyes and mentally rehearsed his upcoming scene, but was interrupted by a tap on his shoulder.

“Butch! What are you doing here?” Wolfe whispered.

“I need to talk to you.”

“We’re right in the middle of the play! I’m getting ready to go on!”

“It’s important. Tarffeski’s on to me. He confronted me today, told me he knew I had the snake, and said he would get it, no matter what.”

“Can we discuss this afterward?” Wolfe glanced toward the stage. It was almost time for him to walk on. He looked back at Butch and noticed he was holding a suitcase. “What’s that for?”

“The snakes in here.”

“What?!”

“I had no choice. Tarffeski’s in the audience, waiting to pounce on me. I had to do something. I figured he wouldn’t come backstage while the play was going on.”

“You took your father’s suitcase?”

“It’s the only way I could transport Bob and Fred from one place to the other safely. See, it’s got a buckle instead of a zipper, so they can’t weasel their way out unless you undo these two buckles.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because, like it or not, you’re involved. You’re going to have to keep an eye on the snake until after the play. If I’m back here too long, Tarffeski will get suspicious. I’ve got a plan to expose him for who he is and convince Dustin he’s not to be trusted. But for now, we just have to keep the snake safe.”

“But … wait … “ Wolfe reached for him as he walked away but came up empty-handed. He realized his cue was ten seconds away. “Butch!
Wait! I can’t watch the snake! I’m in the …” He stepped onstage and into the spotlight. He was so out of breath he could hardly get his next line out.
“As you can imagine, Lotus was torn between the two men she loved. What was she to do? How would she ever know for sure who was the right man for her? Who could she trust to watch out for her?”
Wolfe couldn’t help but glance sideways to make sure the suitcase was still there. He looked back toward the audience, keeping his composure. He saw Butch slide into a seat at the back.
“Lotus was going to have to search her heart. After everything she’d been through with Bart and Gibb, she knew there was only one right man for her. And she was about to find out who that was
.”

Wolfe slid offstage and stood by the suitcase. Thank goodness the show was almost over. But something told him that was when the drama would really begin.