Blooming (10 page)

“No, no,” she
said sitting on his lap and pulling him towards her, rocking him. She took the
tail of her pyjamas and wiped his face gently, trying to give him what little
comfort she could.

“You don’t
understand Jen, she wouldn’t have been in Bloomington if I hadn’t given in to
her and persuaded Mom and Dad to let her study here. She was dying for some
independence and I remembered what that felt like, I thought she’d be safe with
me.” He wiped his hand across his face angrily and pierced her with a hard
despairing look that hit her right down to her stomach. “Jen, I need you to let
her stay here with you tonight, I don’t know what to do with her.”

Jen gulped
audibly. She may be a girl but that didn’t give her an instant understanding of
what to do in this situation, but she was aware that Lily was inside on her own
and needed somebody’s help.

She signalled
Sean and Seb, “Todd, you go with the boys and let me look after Lily. I’ll do
whatever I can for her.”

She lifted
his head and pressed a kiss to his lips trying to convey every bit of comfort
she could. His beautiful mouth was cold against hers and unresponsive.

Jen got to
her feet and Seb put a hand to her back as they helped Todd up. He looked like
he’d aged ten years in the space of a few hours.

She watched
them go downstairs then took a huge breath in to steady her wits, and opened
the door.

Jen didn’t
have a clue how to deal with a rape victim; she only knew the rubbish she’d
seen on TV crime dramas. The first thing she had to do was get her cleaned up
and out of those hideous things.

She
temporarily bypassed Lily while she went in her bedroom and gathered all the
nicest most fragrant products she had and took them through to the bathroom. Then
she went to Lily’s side and dropped to her knees.

Jen looked up
into the younger girls face - the eye that wasn’t starting to turn black had a
burst blood vessel. Jen felt devastated to the root of her soul but shucked off
her own emotions as she coaxed Lily to her feet and through to the bathroom.

She sat her
on the bath while she adjusted the shower and turned the water on, waiting
until it was a good temperature, then she lined up all the things Lily would
need to clean herself.

“Lily can you
undress by yourself?” she asked softly.

Lily nodded;
the first indication that she was aware what was happening. As Jen watched she
started to struggle out of her coat and as her arm appeared out of the sleeve
Jen had to stifle a gasp, there were what looked like rope burns on her wrist.

Jen gently
helped the girl lift her t shirt off over her head and looked at what was remaining
of Lily’s bra and gulped. Her skirt came off next.

“Ok sweetie
I’m stepping outside now. Once I’m gone take your underwear off and stay in the
shower as long as you need and use as much stuff as you want until you feel
cleaner.” Jen raised her shoulders helplessly, “I’m so very sorry Lily - I’ll
be right outside the door, just shout if you need anything, but don’t lock the
door behind me just in case.”

As soon as Jen
closed the bathroom door, she ran to her kitchen sink as soundlessly as she
could. She just made it in time before vomiting again and again, until nothing
came up but the remains of tequila fuelled stomach acid.

Lily had been
brutalised. It wasn’t just the damage to her face and wrists - her legs and
torso had bruises forming and there were livid marks that looked like bites on
her collarbone.

Jen dropped
to her feet by the sink and placed her face to the cool floor for a few
minutes. She bit back angry tears that were no good to anybody. When she felt
able to, she dragged herself up on shaky legs, splashed cold water on her face
and rinsed her mouth out.

She gave
herself a mental slap. It was no time for her own weakness, and she considered
how she could make Lily as comfortable as possible.

Decision
made, Jen went to her bedroom and dragged the quilt from her bed. She was quite
happy to give up her bed to the younger girl, but she had memories of being
poorly as a child and her mother making her cosy on the sofa with a quilt and a
hot water bottle. With some cushions to support her back, maybe that would be a
better idea.

After Jen had
the little bed ready, she rummaged among her things for a clean night dress
that would fit Lily and sat down to wait for her. She had to clench her hands
together to stop them trembling from stress and shock.

Just as she
was thinking she’d have to help her out of the shower Lily emerged on her own,
wrapped in a towel her hair wet. Jen noticed her skin was red raw where she’d
scrubbed too hard.

She put an
arm around her and led her back to the couch, then she went and fetched a brush
and her hair dryer and as gently as she could she brushed out the knots in
Lily’s fine shoulder length hair and blow dried it for her. The girl remained
immobile and just surrendered to what was happening.

Jen helped
Lily pull on the nightdress before taking away the wet towel, then she coaxed
Lily under the quilt and put the TV on low, just to provide a little background
noise. The silence felt too oppressive otherwise.

Under the
sink Jen found the emergency pint of whisky which she saved for moments of
extreme anxiety, and used it to make Lily a hot toddy. She didn’t know whether
she’d been given any medication in the hospital so didn’t dare give her any
painkillers. She’d have to broach that subject in the morning.

When the
kettle boiled she filled a hot water bottle and went back to the couch, lifting
the quilt to rest the bottle on Lily’s tummy, then she passed the toddy glass
to her and pressed her fingers to it. “Drink it while it’s still hot.” She had
to keep prompting her to swallow it down but thankfully she accepted without
complaint.

Jen studied
Lily’s face; she’d done as much as she could to make her physically
comfortable. She gently stroked the hair from her forehead and said softly,
“this is not the end for you Lily, not by a long shot. You are so much more
than this one thing some evil bastard did to you, this isn’t what you are or
what you’re going to be.”

She so
desperately didn’t want this one terrible act to be the end of Lily’s life as
she knew it, didn’t want Lily to become a shadow of her former self just the
same way she had. It was a painful way to live.

Jen went to
her lone armchair - made herself as comfortable as possible, and closed her
eyes. She doubted she would sleep but she hoped if it looked like she was it
might rub off on Lily.

****

Around 11 the
next morning Jen slipped down to Todd’s apartment. It was the first time she’d
been there since she’d fallen down the stairs the morning after her arrival. Suddenly
it seemed like a matter of months ago rather than days.

She’d left
Lily in the shower again; it was her third one so far - the second had been
necessary after she woke up at 7am shaking and in a cold sweat.

Jen knocked
quietly not wanting to wake Todd if he’d managed to get some sleep.

It was
Sebastian who opened the door and he took one look at her exhausted face and
enveloped her in a hug.

Pulling her
in the room, she saw Sean asleep on the couch.

“How’s Lily?”
he asked.

“About what
you’d expect - she’s not talking yet. I should only stay a minute I just need
to grab some of her things - where’s Todd?” she asked anxiously.

“We finally got
him into bed about an hour ago.”

Disengaging
herself gently from Seb, she crossed the apartment and went to look for Lily’s
room. It was the first one she came to, done up in primrose yellow with pretty
embroidered bedding. It made her heartsick to see Lily’s sunny nature reflected
in this cheery room and then to compare it to the girl trying to shed her own
skin upstairs.

Standing
outside the door she hesitated and then decided to give in to the urge to check
on Todd.

She quietly
pushed in the door to the next room. He was lying in bed facing her, his bright
green eyes bored into her, glowing luminous against the deathly white pallor of
his skin - they were filled with sadness. He didn’t speak just pulled back his
covers and without further gesture he silently beckoned her.

Jen went to
him, just stopping to slide off her pumps. He stretched out an arm for her to
lie on then used it to roll her into his body her arm naturally came to rest
lightly on his bare chest. A flicker of apprehension went through her at being
this close but she was profoundly aware that nothing would happen today.

Todd’s other
hand reached across to stroke her hair where it rested on his shoulder.

“Hey,” he
said simply.

“Hey, you’re
sposed to be sleeping.”

“I came to bed
just to get Seb off my back. I can’t switch my mind off. I keep fluctuating
between roaring anger where I want to tear somebody’s head off, to crying like
a baby.”

Jen’s hand
wandered and she stroked the smooth dark brown hair on his chest, savouring the
feel of it between her fingers even as she processed what he was saying.

Not really
knowing how to talk about what had happened, Jen chose her words carefully. “Do
the police have anything to go on?”

“Well it was
a fake name he used and they’ve taken some DNA samples from Lily,” his voice
cracked. “He used a condom, but she managed to scratch him up before he tied
her hands. They think he’s the same person that’s done this to three other
women that have filed reports.”

Jen said
quietly, “I helped her undress last night and when I saw it, saw everything he’d
done, I was sick to my stomach.”

His hands
tightened on her, “I blame myself for letting her go on that date and for not
doing more after the fact. A really stupid part of me blames you a little too,
you had me distracted.”

Tears formed
in Jen’s eyes. He was only echoing thoughts she’d had herself but it didn’t
make it any easier to hear, then he continued, “but mostly all I can think is
I’m so glad you’re here.”

Her tears
fell onto his skin and he pulled her further across his body bringing both arms
around her. Jen’s arms wrapped around his waist as best she could and a short
minute later as her elbow drifted to his hip, she realised something else, and
her arm shot upwards.

Todd looked
at her and tweaked her nose. Despite his despair, an urge to find solace in teasing
her surfaced briefly and he confirmed what she already knew. “I’m sorry I
should have probably warned you that I sleep commando.”

He smiled
sadly at her - his heart not really in it. “Will you keep looking after Lily
for me? I’m going to take her home to mom and dads in a few days. She wouldn’t let
me tell them about this yet and they’re going to kill me for that but I think
she needs a few days rest first, and truthfully it would break mom’s heart to
see her so banged up.”

Jen ran her
hand back through Todd’s chest hair and up to his neck he felt so solid and
strong. “I’ll do whatever I can for as long as you want, but don’t stay away
from her yourself or she may believe you think she’s responsible in some way.”

She made to tear
herself away from the comfort of his body, “I’ve got to go, if she’s not out of
the shower by now I’ll have to get her out myself. I’m just going to gather her
clothes for a few days.”

As she moved
Todd took her right hand and softly kissed her palm then brushed his lips along
the fine lines nuzzling her. “I don’t know what to say to her yet. I’ve always
known exactly how to talk to Lily, about anything, but not this. I don’t know
what she needs to hear from me.”

“There are no
magic words,” Jen said sadly taking his hand and cupping it to her cheek. “But
if I know anything about fear & pain - it’s that right now she probably
feels immobilized. Like she can hardly move, breathe or comprehend. As if any
tiny step will crush her. But I also know you can come out the other side of
that, so for now just be there Todd. Talk will come much later when she’s ready
for it.”

She was
almost out the door when the thought struck her. There was another person who
cared about Lily. “Todd someone needs to tell Ben.”

 That first
day Seb, Sean and Todd came to Jen’s place late afternoon. Sean brought Disney
movies and they all watched TV saying very little just offering their quiet
comfort to each other. Jen sat on the couch with Lily’s head in her lap, and
after a while Todd came over and nudged her and they swapped places. Todd resumed
gently stroking his sister’s hair, while tears silently slid down her face.

As the days
went on, Jen began to feel the strain. She’d moved Lily into her bedroom, and
between not being able to get too comfy on the couch and the fact that every
night Lily woke up screaming, Jen grew short on sleep. She’d had a couple of complaints
from clients and had had to spend more time on the telephone apologising than
she was comfortable doing.

It was hard
to get Lily to eat anything and Jen found it impossible to eat when the other
girl wouldn’t, and they both ended up losing weight they didn’t really need to
lose.

During that
first week one of the detectives on the case came out just to advise them they
hadn’t made much progress yet but that they were doing all they could. It
seemed the rapist was a serial offender, and had used a variety of methods to
target his victims which made it difficult to find common denominators between
the cases. But the physical description was the same from all the girls.

Todd went to
see Ben at the coffee shop and when he told him what had happened, he saw rage
and anger on the young man’s face that he wouldn’t have thought him capable of.

Neither one
of them knew whether Lily would want to see him or not, but Todd was touched
when he was brave enough to bring flowers the next day and stay for a few
minutes. Without saying anything too upsetting for her, he managed to convey
that he’d be around if she ever needed him.