Bloodlust (23 page)
Authors: Michelle Rowen
Tags: #Fiction, #Paranormal, #Romance, #Horror, #Occult & Supernatural
I wanted to feel used, but I was still filled with a strange gratitude toward him that he’d use up his entire wild card on me. It was a generous gift with dubious motivation behind the giving. And in the end, it hadn’t helped at all.
“We’re through here,” Kristoff said, nodding at his thugs who moved in. “Take my brother away.”
They grabbed Matthias and dragged him out of the room.
I clenched my fists at my sides. “What are they going to do to him?”
He raked a hand through his dark blond hair as he watched his brother’s departure. “Don’t worry about Matthias. He’ll be fine.”
I wasn’t convinced of that. Kristoff had spent thirty years locked away somewhere. An ineffective knife through the heart didn’t seem like it was nearly enough to even the scales. Matthias was in trouble.
“You didn’t say yes to my request,” Kristoff said. “Unfortunately, since Matthias has claimed you I can’t give you any extra influence to help in the task. But it still needs to be done.”
“You think I’ll fail.”
“I’m hoping you’ll give it your best shot.”
He made it sound like a piano rehearsal rather than premeditated murder.
I crossed my arms tightly. “And if I don’t agree to this, you’ll kill Meg and Julie.”
He looked at me as if I’d grown another head. “I don’t kill children, Jillian.”
Frustration rose inside me. “I don’t want them to get hurt.”
“All I’m threatening with your nieces is to keep them away from their mother. They’re in no danger here. I love children. And if you’re making these assumptions based on what you know about the immortality ritual—”
“I am.”
“I told you that it was Matthias who was the one responsible for that death.”
“I don’t blame him for what happened.” Tears burned at my eyes. I had to stay strong, but I felt off balance and extremely vulnerable. “He was forced into a situation he never would have chosen for himself and bad things happened.”
He cocked his head. “You care about him, don’t you?”
“I care about a lot of people.”
“Like Declan.”
I froze. “What?”
“When I saw him in Matthias’s mind, it was a surprise. I never knew Monica was pregnant. Then again, I didn’t have much of a chance to know of it before I was locked away without blood for all those years.”
Fear pushed away every other emotion I was fighting against. “Where is he?”
“He’s been here since last night.”
It felt as if someone had clutched my heart and squeezed. “What have you done to him?”
“He’s very dangerous, Jillian. You know that, don’t you?”
I shook my head. “He’s not.”
“Yes, he is. He was in a rage when he was brought here to see me. Uncontrollable. His dhampyr nature has taken hold of him very quickly and can’t be reversed. My men wanted to kill him outright, but I told them not to. I knew you’d want to see him.”
Declan was here. I hadn’t wanted to believe he’d been with Jade when she’d been taken, but that was what had happened. I felt sick at the thought that he’d been here all this time and I hadn’t known it.
“Come with me. There isn’t much time.” Kristoff walked out of the room, leaving me standing there, stunned. I had to run to catch up to him. A couple thugs fell in behind me along a hallway and down a flight of stairs to the basement that had cold cement walls and no luxurious décor like upstairs. A large iron door stood in front of me and one of the vampires opened it up so Kristoff could walk through.
It led into a large room that looked like a hospital room—all white and steel, sterile and cold. Declan lay on a narrow bed, restrained, with his arms and legs strapped down. There was a leather strap across his bare chest and neck. An IV unit was next to the bed and a clear liquid dripped into the tube attached to his arm. His eye was closed.
I ran to his side. My hand shook as I touched his face. “What is this? What happened to him?”
Kristoff’s jaw tightened. “As I said, he was difficult to control. He had to be subdued before he could do damage to himself or to others.”
“Declan . . .” I whispered. “Can you hear me?”
After a moment his eye opened slowly and he looked up at me. “Jill . . . you’re here . . .”
“I’m here. It’s okay now.”
“This isn’t okay.”
I almost smiled, I was so relieved to see he was still alive. “Maybe you’re right.”
“I know I was an asshole leaving you last night, but seeing Noah like that . . .”
“I understand.” I did. I’d felt hurt and betrayed and that combination had messed my mind up and almost pushed me into Matthias’s arms completely, but now everything seemed so much clearer.
“No, it was wrong. I shouldn’t have left, but I was afraid I’d hurt you. It’s inside me, this rage. I can’t control it anymore. I never could have lived with myself if anything happened to you.”
“So instead you ran off to meet—” I glanced over my shoulder at Kristoff, looking so eerily like Matthias that it continued to throw me off. He watched us from the doorway.
“My father,” Declan said.
My attention returned to Declan’s face. “For the record, you look nothing like him.”
“You’re right. He has fewer scars.” His glimmer of a smile faded. “He told me he won’t hurt you.”
“So the rumor goes. Who would have thought that he’d be such a friendly neighborhood vampire king?”
He laughed a little humorlessly. “I don’t think friendliness has much to do with it. I had to agree to something first.”
I felt myself tense. “What did you agree to?”
“Jill, it’s my fault you were dragged into all of this in the first place. If I hadn’t shown up the minute you were in the lobby, Anderson never would have grabbed you. I pushed him too far and he reacted.”
“I thought we were over this. It happened. Shit happens and we deal.”
He swallowed and I slid my hand over the leather strap across his chest. It was tight and strong. He wasn’t going anywhere. I didn’t understand why this was necessary. He seemed fine. No violence. He wasn’t going to hurt anyone.
“Declan only wants the best for you, Jillian,” Kristoff said. “So we were able to come to an understanding.”
My guard went up. “And what understanding is that?”
“He is extremely self-aware for his stage of dhampyrism. It’s likely due to the serum his adoptive father kept him on for so long. It’s delayed this necessary step.”
My gaze moved to the IV that I’d assumed was some sort of medicine. “What are you giving him? What is that?”
Declan looked up at me, his brow creased. “It’s poison.”
15
WITHOUT THINKING, I MOVED TOWARD THE IV, KNOWING I had to get it out of his arm. Before I could touch it, Kristoff’s men pulled me back. I fought, but one was all it took to hold me in place.
Kristoff looked grim. “Declan agreed to this.”
“He agreed to let you poison him?” My throat hurt as panic raced through me.
“Yes. The most humane way to deal with a dhampyr is to euthanize them. Declan is a danger to everyone around him now, and there’s no going back. In return for your safety, he agreed not to fight me on this. I could have let my men kill him last night. It would have been faster, but much more painful and there would have been no guarantees when it came to you.”
I felt as if I was going to be physically ill. My entire body went cold and still and I felt the blood drain from my face. “Declan, is that true?”
He turned his head toward me. “There’s no other way, Jill.”
“There’s always another way.”
His jaw tightened. “No other way I’m willing to accept.”
He knew. What Matthias told me about how to save a dhampyr was something Declan already knew from his research.
“Declan, no. Please.” I shook my head so hard it hurt my neck. “Don’t do this.”
“It’s already done.”
“You can’t leave me again. Not like this.”
His expression grew pained. “Kristoff said he’ll release you. He won’t hurt you.”
“And you believed him? You know who he is. You took him at his word?”
His eye closed before he could say anything else. I heard someone let out a ragged sob and realized it was me.
“He wanted to say good-bye to you, Jillian,” Kristoff said softly. “It was the least I could do for him.”
I shook my head. “He’s not going to die.”
“The poison will only take a couple more minutes to work.”
“No. No, it’s not going to happen. Declan’s
not
going to die. I can’t believe he’d agree to this, for what? Just thinking he was saving me? It doesn’t make sense.”
not
going to die. I can’t believe he’d agree to this, for what? Just thinking he was saving me? It doesn’t make sense.”
“If you’d seen him last night—there was no reasoning there. He was a raging beast who wanted to destroy. His mind isn’t working as it should. This is the only way to deal with a dhampyr like that.”
The vampire behind me held me firm in his viselike grip. A glance at him showed that the signs of hunger were readily visible on his strained face, but he didn’t even attempt to bite me.
I felt like I wanted to give up, but part of me knew I had to keep fighting. I was in deep trouble, in the house of a vampire king who was putting his dhampyr son down like a rabid dog. And the rabid dog had agreed to it.
He didn’t think he deserved to live. He didn’t want to hurt me.
This hurt.
There was one thing I believed in, apart from everything else. I’d just never realized how strong my belief was. I wasn’t religious. I wasn’t spiritual. I basically lived one day at a time, grateful for any day I didn’t wallow in the depression I’d felt that made me take a razor blade to my wrist five years ago.
I believed in one thing, and that was life. If I was breathing then there was still hope for everything to turn out okay. Death was forever and there was no coming back from it. Life meant there was still a chance.
I believed in life. That was my religion.
Kristoff might want me to believe that he was a nice guy—one who didn’t deserve the bad rep Matthias had given him. It would be easier if I did believe that. But he didn’t fool me. He was self-involved, power-hungry, and willing to kill to get what he wanted, even if it meant he had to slit the throat of a harmless sixty-year-old woman in her kitchen. A smile and a kind word afterward didn’t mean shit to me.
But I needed him right now. More than anyone else.
“You want me to go kill this enemy of yours,” I said. “This leader of the Amarantos Society who wants to take you down.”
“That’s right.”
“I’ll do it. And I’ll succeed at it.”
He raised an eyebrow. I saw it out of the corner of my eye even though I hadn’t taken my attention away from Declan for a moment. “You really think you can?”
“Yes, I do. But you have to do something for me.”
“I’ll release your nieces if you’re successful.”
“You’ll definitely do that.” I swallowed. “But I want something else.”
He nodded at his thug. “Let her go.”
Only a second later, the vampire let go of me. He watched me warily as if expecting me to launch myself at Declan’s IV again, but I stayed right where I was.
“What do you want?” Kristoff asked.
I licked my dry lips and finally looked directly at him. “I want you to sire Declan.”
Surprise slid behind his gray gaze. “That’s impossible.”
My heart sank. “Why is it impossible?”
“Dhampyrs are too unpredictable and prone to turn more monstrous and violent if they’re sired. It’s against vampire law to take that chance, both for the safety of the dhampyr and for everyone else.”
“Who made that law?”
He raised an eyebrow. “I did.”
“Then you can break it.”
“My son hates vampires, I’ve seen how much through my brother’s mind. He kills them whenever possible. You’d have him made into something that he despises? You’d take the chance this act will turn him into more of a monster than he was to begin with?”
Declan had freaked out at my decision to have Noah turned into a vampire to save his life. If he found out I made the same decision for him—
Kristoff approached me and pressed his hand against my cheek. For a moment he looked so much like Matthias I almost forgot who he really was. “Jillian?”
Declan would choose death over becoming a vampire without a second thought—in fact, it looked like he already had. My overlapping thoughts and dark pain inside of me at the rush of information became too much. I tried to breathe, tried to figure this out.
He’d hate me for doing this to him. If he’d been furious with what I’d decided with Noah, it would pale in comparison to how he’d feel about it happening to himself, especially if this backfired and he became even more violent.
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