Blood Like Poison (10 page)

Drew bent to kiss me and I gave him a quick peck and dashed off, calling over my shoulder, “I gotta go.  I’m gonna be late.”

As I settled into my desk in Calculus, I was sort of amazed at how much Bo had affected me in a few short days.  He took up a surprising amount of my available brain space and was apparently working his way into my heart space as well, pushing out people I’d thought were firmly entrenched there. 

I used to really like Drew and, until Bo’s arrival, I had thought things were going well.  I mean, it’s not like I saw us getting married or anything, but I figured we’d probably date for the rest of the year.  I had no idea how weak my feelings for him really were until Bo came along.  I felt like Bo had taken my life by storm and now nothing was the same.  Somewhere deep down, I knew it never would be again.

At lunch, I sat in the same place I’d sat for a little over a year: sandwiched between Drew and Summer, with his friends beside him and mine beside Summer.  I’d never felt more out of place. 

Listening to them talk about the same things over and over again was getting on my nerves something fierce.  It further aggravated my already sour mood, a mood which I knew was in direct correlation to Bo’s curious absence.  I hadn’t seen him all day, not even a glimpse in the halls, and now he wasn’t anywhere to be found at lunch either. 

I felt like a drug addict in need of a fix, and knowing that he’d upset my life to this point only added to my irritation.

I saw Savannah sitting by herself at a picnic table out on the lawn.  She was reading something, munching on a carrot and I took the opportunity to discreetly observe her.

She was striking in her appearance.  She had vibrant red hair and I thought probably soft brown eyes, though I’d never really been close enough to see for sure.  Like most redheads, her complexion was fair, but where others were plagued with freckles, Savannah’s skin was creamy.  She reminded me of a beautiful china doll.

Someone called to her and her head shot up.  She waved and laughed and then put her nose back in the book she was reading. 

I looked around for the person she’d responded to.  It was a guy.  Another sophomore I think, one that plays basketball.  I searched my mind, but couldn’t readily retrieve his name.

Still looking for Bo, I glanced all around the covered eating area, as well as the grass and picnic tables.  In my sweep, I noticed that there were several people eyeing Savannah.  It was plain to see that she was getting lots of appreciative looks.  I wondered how I’d never noticed that before, but then remembered that my friends were so high maintenance, it was a miracle I ever noticed anything.  The world was passing me by and I was quietly letting it.

Reluctantly, I returned my attention to those very same high maintenance friends.  I craned my neck to look down the table.  My eyes stopped on Devon.  Like so many others, he was staring at Savannah, too.  There was a longing look on his face, one I recognized because it mirrored the way that I yearned for Bo.  It was then that I realized Trinity’s jealousy of Savannah was justified.  Devon definitely had feelings for her and they were anything but innocent. 

At that moment, I felt a kinship for Devon that I’d never felt before.  Like me, he was trapped behind the glass.

The rest of the day was a depressing blur.  All day long I watched for Bo and all day long I was disappointed.  He never showed up at school.

That night, I took turns between pacing my bedroom floor like a caged animal and lolling lifelessly on the bed.  I tried to make my way through French homework, but I kept picking up my phone and scrolling through the numbers until Bo’s number was highlighted.  Each time my thumb would hover over the call button, I’d throw the phone down in frustration.  I couldn’t call Bo.  What would I say?

A little after 1:00, I got tired of waiting—and wanting—and I fell asleep on top of my covers, unable to hold my eyes open any longer. 

Later, something woke me.  I looked first at the television, but its face was blank.  Strangely, I hadn’t even turned it on.  I’d left my window raised and the room quiet just in case Bo made an appearance. 

I listened, but it wasn’t a sound that had stirred me.  It was a smell, a teasing scent that had me sitting up to look around.  My befuddled mind was slow to clear, but I would’ve sworn that I smelled Bo’s tangy soap.  It swirled in my nose, making my stomach flutter, just the reaction I’d have had if he were standing right next to me. 

The clock read 3:30.  I glanced at the window.  Strangely hopeful, I got up and walked over to it.  I looked out into the inky darkness and inhaled deeply.  Not surprisingly, there was no one there, but still, I could detect a faint hint of Bo.  I listened and heard nothing but the sound of my own heartbeat and the crickets singing in the night. 

With a deep sigh, I walked back to my bed, pushed the pillows aside and crawled beneath the covers.  After only a few minutes, the silence began to play its usual tricks on me, preying on my mind, so I used the remote control to turn on the television. 

The familiar sounds soothed me, but it still took me forever to fall back to sleep and when I did, I didn’t sleep well. 

I woke before my alarm went off.  As I’d done on so many mornings, I lay in bed and listened to the news.   

Another body was found by Southmoore Police last night.  The victim was identified as John Robert Gibbs, last year’s primary suspect in the Southmoore Slayings.  Discovered in Arlisle Preserve, Gibbs was killed in typical Slayer style, though authorities are awaiting official word from the medical examiner before releasing cause of death. 

Last year, Gibbs was arrested for the 2008 murder of Travis Alan Bowman.  Bowman, originally thought to be the victim of an animal attack, died of blood loss after his throat was torn out nearly three years ago today.  Gibbs was later released on a technicality and his case was never presented to the grand jury…

I grabbed the remote and turned the television off.  On a good day, I could only take so much news about what a crap hole the world was becoming.  This morning, my threshold was even lower than usual.

At school, Drew was waiting for me at my locker.  He asked again if I had any plans for after practice.  I think on some level he knew something was wrong and he was trying to overcompensate by paying me lots of attention, even more than usual.

“Actually, I was going to see if you wanted to meet up on the field about seven or so.  We’ve got a two-hour camp that we’re holding for the junior high.  We’re teaching them some new basket tosses.  Want to meet me at the bleachers after?”

“Mmm, bleachers,” he said with a suggestive smile.  “You know I do.” 

Drew and I had never had sex.  We’d come close several times and now I was more grateful than ever that it had never progressed to that point.  Drew, on the other hand, was bound and determined to push it until it happened.  Typical.

He swooped in for a peck on the lips and I ducked as if looking for something in my bag.  When I raised my head, I quickly pressed my lips to his cheek and rushed off again, promising I’d see him at lunch.

I didn’t see Bo again all morning.  I wondered what could’ve been keeping him from school again today.  He’d seemed fine when I saw him Sunday night, and his continued absence was making me crazy.  I was ready to bite somebody’s head off by the time lunch rolled around. 

I was chomping angrily on a celery stick when, much to my relief and chagrin, I caught sight of Bo sitting down at a picnic table out on the lawn.  He was joining Savannah.

Although he’d all but assured me that they were just friends, I watched them with nothing short of envy.  They talked easily and Savannah laughed a lot.  I tried to push down the green wave of jealousy that rose inside me, but the more I watched them, the harder it got.

“What’s so interesting over there?” Drew tipped his head toward Bo and Savannah.

I shrugged.  “Everyone’s talking about Savannah.  I was just wondering what the big deal was.”

Devon leaned around Drew to look me in the eye.  “Have you ever even met her, Ridley?”

His tone and the firm set of his jaw and mouth reeked of defensiveness.  He’d obviously decided he wasn’t going to stand by and listen to another attack on Savannah, even though that’s not what I meant at all.

“Not officially, no, but—”

Devon cut me off.  “She’s a nice girl.  She’s funny and smart and she plays the bass guitar, which is awesome.”

I quirked a brow at Devon.  I wanted to continue the conversation, but I was all too aware of our surroundings and that Trinity was only a few feet away.  As if he’d suddenly realized the same thing, Devon’s ire visibly waned and he turned his attention back to his tray.  By silent agreement, we both let it drop. 

Luck had apparently deserted us, however, because Trinity, with her ears like satellite dishes, had picked up on our quiet conversation.

“That’s it,” she yelled, pushing her chair back from the lunch table and turning a furious glare on Devon.  All eyes shifted to Trinity, everyone curious about her sudden outburst.  “If you’ve got a thing for white trash, then have at it,” she spat, her eyes flashing angrily at Devon.

“Trinity,” Devon said, pushing his words through gritted teeth.  “That’s enough.”

“Don’t you tell me wh—”

Devon cut her off, standing to his feet so quickly that his chair nearly toppled over.  “Trinity!  How long is it gonna take for you to realize that it’s over? 
We’re
over?  I don’t know, but I hope this sinks in a little better because I’m only gonna tell you this one time:  stay away from Savannah.
”

He turned around and stomped off. 

Most mouths agape, nearly the entire lunch crowd watched him go.  Devon didn’t have much of a temper and I’m sure everyone else was as surprised as I was to finally see it.  I could tell by the look on her face that Trinity was the most stunned of us all.

“You won’t think she’s so special when I scratch her frickin’ eyes out, will you?” she asked, though Devon was already long gone.  “Come on, Summer.”

Before anyone could recover, Trinity had grabbed a shocked Summer by the hand and was dragging her across the grass.  As they neared the picnic tables, I saw Bo and Savannah look up.  Bo’s face was a blank mask, but I could see tension in the stiffness of his body.

I thought of Savannah’s words to Trinity at Caster’s party.  Obviously, she wasn’t afraid to stand up for herself, but I wasn’t sure she knew what a handful Trinity could be when she was really riled, and this time Bo couldn’t run interference.  He couldn’t step in between the two girls on school grounds.  If he so much as touched Trinity, even if it was just to subdue her, he’d be in a world of trouble.

I knew I had two options.  Since Trinity was already gone and I could no longer stop her, I could let the scene play out, as was my habit.  I could silently root for Savannah, hope that she had her brave-girl hat on today, and watch what happened along with everyone else. 

Or I could get up and, for the first time,
do something. 
I could intervene on Savannah’s behalf, take a stand for once, and feel better about the person I saw in the mirror. 

My most egocentric inner voice spoke up, reminding me that if I did that, I’d be basically sticking a sword into the heart of my cheerleading career and, therefore, my scholarship and future at Stanford.

With longing, I thought of all my plans.  I thought of my much-needed escape from this life and, for a moment, I considered taking the selfish route. 

But then, unbidden, I saw Bo’s face when he came to me after Caster’s party.  Somehow, when he looked at me, he saw the better person that lives inside me, the person I quell every day.  He could see her, but I couldn’t.  Today, I wanted to see her, too.

Nothing was worth selling my soul for, and that’s what I felt like I’d been doing all this time by going along with Trinity.  I was as guilty as she.  Though she only physically took Summer with her, by sitting back and doing nothing, it was like we all went with her, supported her.