Blood Instinct (19 page)

‘It’s not the kind of spell you forget once you’ve read about it. It was the only thing that came to mind at the time, but I kept hope there were other ways.’

‘But this reversal spell remains the only thing you came up with.’

‘Which is why I knew I had to find a way for Sophie to lose her serrynity. Jask, before Caleb knew how I felt, he
was
going to kill me, but he couldn’t. I still don’t know what changed his mind…’

‘Maybe he decided to punish you more by making it pass to Phia.’

‘If he’d wanted to punish her, he wouldn’t have told Jake to give me his blood,’ Alisha interjected. ‘He wouldn’t have ensured my blood was tainted so the serrynity couldn’t jump to me if Sophie wasn’t alive.’

‘Caleb took a risk too, Jask,’ Leila said. ‘He took a massive risk letting me go. I could have run to the TSCD; I could have exposed what he was.’

Jask glanced from one sister to the other, their gazes unrelenting. He looked back to Leila. ‘Are you convinced enough of this to send Alisha in your place?’

Leila’s eyes flared slightly.

‘Just a question,’ Jask said. He looked back to Alisha. ‘Jake would protect you, right?’

‘Caleb will want
me
,’ Leila said. But her hesitancy over sending Alisha did nothing to ease his concern.

He glanced once more at Alisha and once more at Leila before stepping through the middle of them towards the door.

‘I have no idea of his true intentions anymore than you do, Jask,’ Leila called after him. ‘But if it helps, I’m not a fool. I haven’t just had my head in books for seven days. I made contact with the Serryn Order.’

Jask turned to face her again.

‘They know nothing about Caleb,’ she continued, ‘but I took on some training that was long overdue. The reason I keep turning down Kane’s offer to learn how to use his sword is because I don’t need to learn. I had an experience of my own with Caleb that fuelled my willingness to expand my skill set a little more – on a basic level, at least.

‘I’m not going to go down without a fight, Jask, if that’s what it comes to. I’m still the serryn this was intended for. I’m holding on to the hope that I can bring us a peaceful resolution, that I can save Caleb in the process, but I’m not going to sit back and watch the world burn as I try. And if you don’t want to either, you need to give us the best fighting chance we’re going to get. You need to give Sophie a fighting chance while the opportunity is still there.’

S
itting against the wall
, side-on to the door, Sophia looked up from the mattress. Her eyes were red raw, but there was no anger behind them. No fear.

She cocked her head as an indication for him to join her.

He mirrored her, his knees drawn up to his chest, his arms wrapped around them.

‘Well, this isn’t at all awkward,’ she said after a few moments of silence, flashing him a futile attempt at a smile. She reached for his hand, squeezing it lightly. ‘Don’t you dare carry the blame for this. As far as I’m concerned, we both played an equal part.’

He reached across to rake back her hair, to expose her neck. It still sent a bolt directly into his heart, his stomach coiling at what could have been.

‘Now it’s all cleaned up, it doesn’t look so bad,’ she said. ‘Solstice gave me some stuff for it. It’ll heal soon enough.’

But Leila’s words echoed in his head:
You won’t need to worry about Caleb killing her – you’re going to do it for him.

‘I could have killed you, Phia.’

‘And me you.’ She glanced at the floor before looking back at him. ‘So much for staying away from each other, huh? We’re like fucking magnets, aren’t we? Bloody positive and negative.’ She looked away before meeting his eyes again, sorrow emanating from within her. I’ve tried, Jask. I’ve tried to control it.’

‘I know you have. So have I.’

‘But it’s going to keep getting between us, isn’t it: the dark part of me and the dark part of you? It’s spoiling it. It’s spoiling what we had.’

He wiped the tear from her cheek. He held her gaze, building up to broaching the thing they needed to discuss. And her eyes flared as if she sensed something ominous was coming, her pupils flitting back and forth as if she was about to receive the ultimate emotional blow.

He turned to face her more fully. ‘We need those things from Caleb, Phia. I want you to consider Leila’s proposition.’

Except there was only one solution. After the panic in Leila’s eyes when he’d suggested Alisha go in, there was only one alternative. Because when it came to it, Leila wasn’t quite as confident as she made out.

‘But I’ll keep to my promise: I’ll be the one to go in, not Leila,’ he said.

Sophia stared at him aghast. ‘What? No!’

‘Corbin will be in charge in my absence.’

She moved onto her haunches. ‘But, Jask, this is stupid. Caleb will use you as leverage as much as he would have used Leila and you know it.’

‘Which is why I’ll make it clear that I won’t be used that way.’

‘And if he says no to your request? If he looks you in the eye and tells you he’s not going to help? Jask, if you lose your temper in there…’

‘You saw what I did to you – and that’s not even the half of it.’

Silence descended like an impenetrable wall between them.

‘This might be our only way, Phia.’

‘So I no longer have a say in this?’ she demanded. ‘What am I now: a portrait? Jask, he could kill you.’

‘He won’t. If it comes to it, I have something to exchange.’

‘What?’

‘Thanks to your Alliance friend, we know Jarin funded the attempt on his and Jake’s life.’

Her eyes flashed. ‘You’re going to
tell
him?’

‘If I have to.’

She stood and spun round to face him. ‘I don’t think finding out that the Higher Order turned on him and Jake is going to put him in the most buoyant of moods. Not to mention the fact that the one responsible for trying to assassinate them is the same one that caused his other brother’s death. Jask, what the hell are you thinking? I forbid you to go.’

‘You
forbid
me?’

‘Yes,’ she said, ‘I forbid you.’

He stood. He stepped away. He raked his hands through his hair before turning to face her.

‘You’re right,’ he said. ‘Leila’s right. The serryn in you is bringing out the lycan in me, and I’m making the serryn in you worse. Even after the blue moon, it’s not going to get any better between us. We’re in trouble, Phia.’ He moved closer to her and grabbed her hands. ‘This might be the only chance we have at being together.’

‘By putting yourself in the firing line? That kind of defeats the purpose, don’t you think?’

‘Even if I did believe Caleb felt something for Leila, we have no idea what those feelings are now. It’s too big a risk, which is why it
has
to be me.’

‘So I lose you. Or I lose Leila. And all for the tiny, almost-insignificant possibility that Caleb Dehain even has this one, single syringe.’

‘Don’t you at least want to know if it exists?’

She shook her head. ‘You
cannot
put yourself on the line for this, Jask. We need you here. Your pack needs you.
I
need you.’

He closed the gap between them. He gently cupped her face, his eyes gazing deep into hers. ‘Phia, if there was any alternative… I can’t live with myself if I don’t try.’

Her eyes filled with tears as she recoiled. ‘You might not live through this at all.’

‘I can handle Caleb.’

‘Even if the syringe does exist and you do manage to get what we need, there’s still that chance it’ll go back to Leila. I’ve seen behind the serryn’s eyes now, Jask, and I’m not doing that to her. I’m not giving it back to her – I’m not condemning her to that. So if you’re doing this to keep us together, you’re wasting your time because I will never forgive you. I will
never
forgive you for going back on your word to me. For backtracking on what we agreed. For making this your decision instead of mine.’ Tears trickled down her cheeks. ‘
Never
.’

And she turned on her heels, slamming the door behind her.

C
orbin found
him fifteen minutes from the bunker, perched on the ledge of the abandoned apartment looking out over Blackthorn. Jask had been gone without word for a couple of hours. Under normal circumstances that was nothing unusual, but with Blackthorn potentially dripping with military on the lookout for him, the move was verging on negligent.

And there was only one thing that ever made Jask negligent.

The half-empty bottle of whisky in Jask’s hand, an empty one already cast aside, confirmed Corbin’s fears: Jask was losing hope. Head resting against the wall, Jask knocked back another mouthful and sniffed as he continued to stare ahead in silence.

And Corbin knew that look. That look took him back decades, to the time after Jask had lost Ellen. A time when he had warned his alpha about being on a downward slide.

Jask hadn’t listened back then. He wasn’t entirely sure Jask was going to listen now. But as his beta, it was his responsibility to try.

He cared too much not to try.

Corbin made his way along the stone ledge and sat alongside him. ‘Well, this is productive.’

Jask didn’t flinch. ‘You shouldn’t be here.’

‘Neither should you. You should be back at the compound with your pack.’

‘I needed time out.’

‘Then take it somewhere safer than here.’

When Jask didn’t respond, Corbin drew his knees to his chest, the soles of his boots resting on the edge of the ledge as he draped his forearms across his knees.

‘I don’t know what you said to Phia, Jask, but she’s locked herself in her room, refusing even to talk to her sisters.’

‘Leila thinks I should ignore her protests. She says it’s more the serryn in her speaking than Phia herself; that the serryn is defending itself against being removed.’

‘And does Leila know yet that you’re planning to go to Caleb instead of sending her in?’

He knocked back another mouthful. ‘No. Not yet.’

‘So you’re planning on doubling the irate witches you have in one confined space?’

‘Looks like it.’

‘And leaving us to clear up the mess.’

His grave eyes snapped to Corbin. ‘So what would you suggest, Corbin, huh?’

‘I thought you’d ruled out going to Dehain. You said it was pointless.’

‘That was before I nearly ripped my girl’s throat out.’

Jask took another swig as he gazed out over Blackthorn’s mist.

‘Then send
me
in, Jask. Let
me
go to Dehain.’

Jask turned to look at him again. He searched Corbin’s gaze for a moment, then sighed, frowning as he looked ahead again. ‘No way.’

‘Why not? I’m your beta. It’s what I’m here for.’

‘No, you’re here to lead the pack should anything happen to me – not to put yourself on the line for me. Besides, I wouldn’t do that to Tuly. To Solstice.’

‘Because deep down you know your instincts are right: you know going to Dehain is futile. Something else is bothering you, Jask. I know the signs well enough: the drink, the isolation, the recklessness. You made me a promise a long time ago that you wouldn’t let this happen again. I made
you
a promise that I would tell you if I ever saw it happening again.’

‘One quiet drink.’

‘With the streets crawling with military. With morphed lycans potentially on the loose. With Caleb out there somewhere. I’m not going to let this be you again.’

‘It’s not like that.’

‘No? Shall I add denial to the list?’

Jask licked the alcohol from his bottom lip. ‘What if Leila’s wrong?’ He met Corbin’s gaze, despair glinting behind his eyes. ‘What if this is the
real
Phia putting her foot down? Apparently, if I do this, if I try to save her life – try to save our relationship – she’s going to hate me anyway. Because she’s right: I am putting Leila on the line one way or another. She sees this as her one chance to put Leila before herself – and I’m taking that from her. I promised her. I gave her my word. And I think I’ve betrayed mates more than enough for one lifetime.’

He knocked back one final mouthful before casting the empty bottle aside to clink against the other.

‘Ellen and Phia have nothing in common as far as that goes,’ Corbin reminded him.

‘Yeah, well I’ll never forget that pool of blood for as long as I live.’

And neither would he. Corbin would never forget Jask’s tears, and eventually the rage, as his alpha had staggered away across the quadrant, Rone’s first cry – the only surviving twin – signifying the death of Jask’s mate, his hope.

He would never forget Solstice cradling Rone in her arms to become the parent Jask had been too emotionally scarred to be.

And he would never forget Jask having warned Ellen from the outset, Jask having told her the curse if he risked having young. Ellen had chosen to ignore it. And Jask had eventually succumbed to her optimism.

Ellen had put her desire for a family first instead of heeding Jask’s warning – and Jask had ultimately been the one to pay the price.

The moment they found out Ellen was having twins, the curse of three had been a foregone conclusion: the curse that dictated only one of the three would survive.

And that had been Rone. Until he’d been murdered by Sirius’s army a week before.

‘I’ll never forget that look in Ellen’s eyes when she trusted me to bring up Rone,’ Jask added. ‘To love him when she couldn’t. And I’ll never forgive myself for betraying that trust. I’ll never forgive myself for rejecting Rone like I did. And now there’s Phia – and a whole other kind of curse threatening to tear us apart. And once again there’s fuck all I can do about it except risk losing her one way or another. So what do I do? Do I save her life but risk losing her, Corbin?’

And Corbin had to say it; he had to point out the hard facts. It was his responsibility to point out the hard facts.

‘Or stand no chance of saving her life at all but risk your pack anyway?’

As Jask’s glare shot to his, Corbin broke away for a moment.

‘Jask, I’m here for you,’ he said, ‘but I’m here for our pack too. You know Dehain will milk this for all it’s worth. The head of the lycans begging for his help, how could he not? He’ll want you on bended knee. And everything we’ve spent eighty years doing to forge our place in Blackthorn, to protect ourselves despite being in the minority, will be undone in one night. You’ll be showing him that you’re willing to put a girl – a human girl you’ve known less than a week – above your pack. The pride, self-respect and safety of us all will be at risk.
Your
pride, self-respect and safety will be at risk. Are you really willing to give that up for
her
?’

Jask stared at him for what felt like a lifetime. ‘Which is why, if I do this, I’ll need to step down.’

And the empty bottles now made perfect sense. Because Corbin knew then that what he was saying was no more than what Jask had gone there to deliberate.

Corbin’s insides coiled in horror. ‘
What
?’

Jask’s gaze was unnervingly resolute. ‘You can give me a vote of no confidence and I’ll fight this alone.’

‘Jask, you can’t! You can’t do this. Not
now
. Your pack needs you.’

‘So does Phia. And I know I can’t have both.’

Corbin turned as far as he could to face him. ‘But if you go this alone, it’ll weaken Phia’s odds too. And with what happened tonight, you know you can’t keep her safe alone. You’re a threat to her now too.

‘Jask, this is the worst time to be tackling this. The peak of the blue moon might have passed, but there are a few more hours to go until the lull. If you go to Caleb with that lycan in you all fired up like it was tonight and he refuses to help you, one of you isn’t going to make it out alive. If it’s him who doesn’t, you’re going to have the whole west side looking for you, for this pack. Who’s going to protect Phia then? You know we’re stronger together. The pack has always been stronger together. Give it a few more hours. Sleep on it even. But you have to reconsider, Jask. You
have
to.’