Blinding Light (The Bloodmarked Trilogy Book 2) (20 page)

“Lucy, what is it? Is something wrong?” Sophie approached carefully.

“It’s fine,” I called to the room. I looked to Sophie, who still had fear in her eyes. “Everything is fine. It was nothing. I thought I heard something.” When she still looked unconvinced, I continued to reassure her, and myself. “Really. It was nothing.”

When the tension in her stance eased and my embarrassment faded, I detected the excited buzz in the room. People huddled together at their tables speaking animatedly to one another.

“What’s going on?” I asked Sophie as I examined the room. My eyes landed on the bubbly blond and her evil lackeys walking toward the tables with their plates.

“Oh, apparently we have company. Some new guy, I think,” Sophie explained.

As Allison passed, I waited for the scathing remark about my most recent blunder, but she was so engrossed in conversation with herself, I mean the other girls, that she merely gave me a pitying look.

“Did you see the hotness? Oh my gawd! So hot! He’s mine ladies. Sorry, I call dibs.” When they parked at their typical table, she continued to threaten the other girls with public shaming if they so much as went near the new guy.

“Okaaayyy. That was different. Who is this new guy that has the power to distract the Bitch Queen long enough to make her forget how much she truly hates me?”

“No idea. I haven’t seen him yet. I think he might be talking to Helen now, so the Bitch Queen hasn’t really had time to sink her claws in.”

I laughed out loud. It wasn’t often that Sophie made jokes at someone’s expense, or any jokes really, so they packed a much bigger punch. I may have been rubbing off on her just a little. “Good luck to him then. He has no idea what’s in store.”

If this new guy could keep Allison off my back for a while, he already had my stamp of approval, not that I had any say on who joined the super exclusive club they had here.

A wadded napkin sailed across one table to another before Brody shouted. “Give it up, Al. He practically owns this place. He’s way out of your league.”

“Give me a week,” Allison responded, but the rest of her words were drowned out by the rushing sound in my ears.

My heart stopped. My blood froze in my veins, and I stopped breathing. Not on purpose this time. Brody’s words rang loud in my head and kept repeating over and over.

He practically owns this place.

Sophie noticed my sudden stiffness. “Lucy, is everything okay?”

This drew people’s attention to me again, but I didn’t care. They could stare all they wanted. I had one mission on my mind.

“Where is Helen now?” I asked anyone within hearing distance.

“I think she’s talking to someone in her office,” Nick provided.

“Yeah, I saw her head that way with the new guy,” Carly added as Brody put his arm over her shoulder. She smiled playfully and threw a fry at him.

He spoke to her, but everyone heard him. “He’s not really the new guy, technically.”

Allison chimed in then, her eyes bore into mine as the hatred returned with a newfound purpose. “Stay away, freak. You don’t have a shot anyway.”

My own cattiness reared its ugly head. “He’s not really your type, but you better say what you need to say to him now, because he’s not going to be alive much longer,” I warned as I spun toward the door.

Their stunned eyes stayed on my back as I retreated. The only one who spoke was Allison. “What is she talking about?”

Her voice faded as I stomped down the hallway. She was the least of my worries. Boiling rage melted the ice in my veins. He was just going to pop by for a visit after being absent for over a month?

I thought my abandonment issues with him were finally lessening, but his reappearance brought back the painful reminders of all that transpired between us. He had been my protector for so long, and I didn’t realize how much I counted on him to always be there for me, whether I needed him or not.

Until he left me.

I hated how much influence he had over my moods. Over my life. He made all the rules. I wanted to murder him.

I rounded the corner and marched toward the office. I made it ten feet from the closed door before stopping cold.

His voice drifted through the barrier, temporarily stunning my heart. The contradictory soft roughness of it trapped me in place. I was hypnotized.

I hadn’t heard that smooth, low voice in over a month and my memory of it didn’t do it justice. How would I fare from seeing him?

Their words registered as they broke through my internal conundrum. It was Helen speaking. “She’s not ready. Especially after the other night. I don’t understand why her training isn’t showing signs of improvement.”

“How can you
not
understand?” Gavin argued. “She’s lost everything she’s ever cared about. Her best friend was killed and she blames herself. I’m pretty sure that, alone, is enough misery to hinder her improvement, but it gets worse. She’s lost the only home she’s ever known, practically kicked out of it. As if she hasn’t blamed herself enough, she has the encouragement of the Chief of police to blame herself as well. And to top it off, she thinks she’s lost her soul.”

“Which we both know isn’t true,” Helen said conspiratorially.

What the hell did that mean? I knew what they believed to be true, but how could they be that certain?

The reminder of Holly’s dad hating me stung a little, too. I thought I might have been past that, but nope. Guess not.

Helen continued. “And we also know she hasn’t lost
everything
she cares for.” I pictured her hard glare boring into Gavin as she directed that comment toward him.

There was a long pause before he spoke again. “That’s exactly why she hasn’t given up completely. She just needs to be reminded she has something to fight for. She lacks the motivation and the confidence in herself. She’s scared right now because she’s worried about hurting more people, and that mental block is holding her back from all the potential. She needs a little confidence boost,” he suggested.

“Are you saying I should put one of my own in danger so she can be the hero?”

He sighed. “No. Just keep sending her out. She needs to get back to her routine. The rest will come.”

“Do you think that’s wise with everything that’s been happening?” she asked. I assumed she meant the vampire who was making new vampires to send after me, but I wouldn’t rule out another threat they’re keeping from me.

“She’ll be fine. She’s strong. Once she realizes it, she’ll be unstoppable.”

“You know… she would probably get back in the action a lot faster if it were your life on the line,” she hinted. This was met with firm silence.

It was bad enough they discussed my weaknesses behind my back, but I drew the line when it came to my feelings. They sure as hell weren’t her business to discuss.

Reclaiming the fire, I charged ahead, barging into the office. The solid oak door banged against the wall with a loud, satisfying thud. Helen stood against the side wall, startled at the sight of me.

He leaned against the middle of the desk casually with his arms folded over his chest. The typical fitted black suit draped over his six-three frame with annoying perfection. It was accentuated with a white collared shirt he wore untucked and loosened at the top by a button or two. Lazy arrogance completed the whole package.

It was when I met his eyes that my steps faltered. My memory of his face definitely did it no justice. And those eyes held so many things unsaid in their depths.

He didn’t school his features fast enough. I glimpsed relief along with a bit of excitement and something indecipherable that made my heart beat faster. When his eyes shifted to take in my black workout pants and thermal, I remembered I was still wearing the same clothes I worked out in last night and crawled through a sewer in earlier today.

Shit. Why did he always have to look flawless, and why couldn’t I have at least showered within the past 24 hours?

“Lucille!” Helen scolded. “You shouldn’t barge into someone’s office like that.”

I turned my scowl on her. “I’m fine. Thanks for asking,” I sneered.

“I’m sorry.” She finally acknowledged the red indicator light that notified her when the spotlights were triggered. “Is everything okay? Did something happen?”

“Like I said, I’m fine.” I twisted my head back to Gavin. “Besides a few self-confidence issues apparently.”

His lips curved up and he drew his hand to his mouth to try and cover his amusement, but it lit his eyes.

“Lucille,” he finally spoke to me. “I was wondering how long it would take for your anger to emerge. I felt it even before you entered the room, so right on schedule, huh?”

Momentarily distracted by the thumb stroking his bottom lip, I grasped his comment and silently vowed he would be feeling a lot more than my anger by the time I was done with him. What was it about this man that brought out the girly need to bite, claw and shove a knee in his groin?

Practicing the civility I have been honing since my arrival here, I leveled my gaze on him before speaking. “If you don’t want your office looking like a baby gorilla’s playpen, I suggest you meet me in the sparring room.”

There went a month’s worth of feigned maturity, down the drain in under a second.

His smirk broke into a full-blown grin, which was a breath-stealing gut check, but I kept my reaction subdued and put on the fiercest face I could summon in spite of my thrashing heart.

“Baby gorilla’s playpen?” he repeated, shaking his head at my absurd, ill-planned analogy.

The need to defend myself rose up inside but I squashed it, knowing it would only further prove how much he flustered me. I simply imagined all the ways I wanted to wipe the smile off that gorgeously smug face of his.

“Now!” I barked before whipping around so fast my ponytail smacked me in the face.

His light chuckle faded behind me as I headed for the largest training room. I felt his presence close behind me without checking to see if he was following. I briefly wondered why I hadn’t sensed him as soon as he arrived. Then again, I have been fairly scatterbrained these past couple days.

We passed a few gawkers in the hall, who came running from the cafeteria to witness the impending showdown. Or my meltdown. Either way, they came for a spectacle. However, when Gavin passed them, he barked out an order for them to get lost. Keepers scattered left and right to avoid the punishments of disobeying.

Cowards. He wasn’t that scary.

As soon as he stepped through the doorway to the sparring room, I released a month’s worth of pent up frustration. It all resurfaced at once. It was the first time since coming here I didn’t have to worry about hurting anyone or consider the consequences of my anger.

Grabbing fistfuls of his lapels, I wound up and swung. The crash reverberated through the enormous space and shook weapons free from their places on the wall, sending them clattering to the floor. The shock on his face must have been mirrored on my own as we stood stock-still staring at each other. Apparently, my strength had no limits when it came to him.

He composed himself quickly and appeared ready for the inevitable conversation about his abrupt departure and even more surprising return. The corners of his mouth began to twitch, but pummeling him appealed more to me than confronting him about the past several weeks. I charged.

He dodged my initial attack, but my increased speed and training allowed me to spot his obvious defensive maneuver and adjust my direction. While he anticipated my typical frontal attack, he moved to block another jab as I crouched and twisted my way around him. The swiftness of my second attack rendered Gavin’s defenses useless.

Thank you, Wade.

I shoved him against the wall and sprung. Snaking an arm in front of him, I wrapped it around his neck and squeezed before using the wall as a springboard. I ran up and kicked off of it. In true WWE fashion, I flipped, using gravity and my death grip on Gavin to bring his large body down with me.

He crashed to the floor next to me, but I was on top of him before he could right himself. The frustration plateaued as piles of tension tumbled out of me in a series of rapid-fire blows. His face replaced the vault. It didn’t break or give under the pressure of the assault, but by the time he worked his hands between us to intercept the punches, blood smattered his crisp white button-down. It dripped from rapidly healing gashes above his eye and at the corner of his mouth. It stained my knuckles, which were now pinned behind my back.

He rolled on top of me to keep them in place. Our heavy breathing interrupted the silence, although the exertion didn’t warrant it. Something powerful was building between us, and I hated the vulnerability currently rooting itself inside me.

He recognized the mood change and quickly rolled aside, pulling me upright. “You hit the panic button.” It wasn’t a question but a prompt to explain myself.

When I lunged at him again, unwilling to face the reunion yet, he easily dodged it. “What happened out there?”

I landed a punch before he spun me, shoving me away while carefully maintaining the bare minimum of physical contact. 

“What had you running scared?” he tried again, a hint of concern crept into his voice.

“It was nothing,” I answered vaguely. “Just a mistake.”

His eyes bore into mine, but he chose to ignore the lie. I couldn’t bring myself to answer that question honestly yet. I knew the truth of it would terrify me more than any assassin army. He cursed when he detected it in my eyes and turned to wipe both hands down his chiseled features.

“I’m sorry, Lucille,” he said, turning back to face me. “It seems our friend, Shane, has made another friend of his own. I got word that the assassin who nearly killed you in St. Louis picked up your trail.”

“So he’s here?” I screeched, unable to hide the panic.

“I can only assume he had help from Monroe and whomever he’s working with, but I still don’t know how they could have found you,” he droned, more to himself. To me, he said, “I don’t know if he’s here or not, but I won’t let him get to you.”

The hollow promise did little to abate the growing fear. I couldn’t trust him to stick around when things got ugly.

“I know things haven’t been easy for you, but how are you doing?” he asked.

It almost sounded like he cared. Distracting me from the bigger issues and thoroughly squashing the fear, anger flared, bright and hot. I threw a backhanded punch, and when it connected, I stunned him with a left hook. He blocked my elbow before it met his chin and circled around me, putting several feet between us.

I met his steady gaze, my eyes blazing with unleashed fury. “Oh, so now you want to ask about me? Now, you want to know things? After weeks of silence!” I shouted.

Lunging at him, I tossed a weak, diverting jab before ramming my knee into his gut. He skirted around a weapons rack to put a barrier between us. He seemed more determined than ever to keep his distance from me.

“Okay, let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about my grieving period and my lack of confidence,” I spat, reminding him of his openness to discuss my emotional health with Helen. “Or maybe, we should talk about how you want me to go back out there so I can get my ass handed to me by the assassin that’s currently hunting me.”

“I told you I wouldn’t let him get to you,” he said firmly.

“Because you’ve been so reliable lately,” I seethed, my newfound patience fluttering away like Dandelion seeds on a summer breeze.

“Lucy,” he sighed. “I’ve always had your best interests in mind. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but everything I’ve done has been for your protection.”

The way he said it grated against my nerves. He sounded like a mercenary, his motivations for helping me severed from any deeper ties I once thought were there. I knew he promised my mother he would protect me, but like an idiot I thought there might have been more to it than that. It was becoming glaringly obvious that his intentions carried no personal foundations.

“And there is one thing I didn’t mention to Helen. Probably the most important reason for your struggle and frustration.”

“Oh, do tell. Since you’re an expert and authority on all things me-related.”

He fought a grin before his expression turned grave. “You’re scared of yourself. You spent all that time hating yourself for what you might become, but now that you’ve become your worst nightmare, you’re terrified of what you’re capable of. I know you fear unleashing what’s inside of you. I know how scared you must have been when you nearly drained that man in the street. The fear of being what you are haunts you. It holds you back and is the root of your confidence issues. Before you turned, your anger and guilt overshadowed your fear of consequences. Now that you’ve seen some of those consequences, you fear your power. You went from embracing it to dreading it.”

“I get it, okay. Maybe I don’t want to embrace it if it means people get killed.”

“Eventually, you will trust your instincts, and you won’t worry about killing anyone because you won’t let yourself.”

Ire was always a shield against intimacy, used to keep people at arm’s length and hide underlying issues. I considered myself a closed book with impenetrable bindings, but, again, he used x-ray vision to see right through them, dissecting each sentence of my life story. I loathed this man as much as I loved him.