Blinding Light (The Bloodmarked Trilogy Book 2) (16 page)

“Except each other,” I whispered, but he was already heading back to the mat where Wade was stretching. That was the hardest lesson for me to learn. I never valued my life either when I thought I had nothing to lose. But there was the real kicker. You always have something to lose when you’re human. When you care.

The clacking of wood against wood broke through my melancholy. As the two men sparred, Wade pointed out the different techniques. I learned some cool double windmill looking move was called a Downward Flower, or Upward Flower depending on the motion, and I paid close attention to the different grips for strike moves, like the Cross strike and Downward Smash. The spin moves were definitely the most fun to watch, but I grew bored with just watching.

When it was time for me to practice, Wade brought me into the ring while Max broke off to train with one of the others who had trickled in throughout the guys’ session. I recalled all the moves Wade had pointed out during his match and executed them as he watched from the sideline while critiquing and making minor adjustments to my stance and grip positions.

We repeated this process with several other weapons, including various pole arms and poleaxes like the pike, the sword staff and war-scythe. Although most had cool names, like war hammer, we still hadn’t gotten any closer to the sword.

Wade skillfully dodged my incessant begging for sword practice by moving on to other assortments of weapons. Each served as a distraction like a shiny new toy, but my mind never strayed from the implications of learning how to wield a sturdy blade.

He made several promises that we would get to swords, but I first needed a healthy understanding of each type of weapon and their uses in different situations.

“You will get there, Lucille. I promise. The more knowledge you gain about weapons and the techniques behind them, the better off you will be in real world situations. Your reactions will be faster and allow you to be more resourceful when you need to improvise.

“You’re doing great, though. Tomorrow we can move on to ranged weapons, which I know you have experience with. I want to hone your skills to perfection, and then we can move toward the axes, blunt weapons and different melee weapons until we get to the sword.”

I tried holding back the smile, but the excitement must have been written all over my face because Wade’s mouth twitched in response.

“You really are doing well, Lucy,” he repeated. “Keep practicing your techniques tonight, and we’ll meet here again tomorrow morning.”

With that, he turned on his heal and left for the dining hall. Oddly, I felt more confident with my weapon training than I had with my strength training. Maybe I
could
do this.

†

On the way to the kitchen, I passed Rachel in the hall. “Hey,” she called. She approached timidly. “Did you… Did you really choke Allison out this morning?”

“Um, yeah. It was a slight misunderstanding. She caught me at a bad time,” I explained, defending my actions.

“That’s badass,” she said, grinning from ear to ear.

Say what?

Not the response I was expecting, but relief washed through me knowing that she didn’t expect me to hulk out on her.

“She deserves to be taken down a peg every once in awhile. But FYI, she is super pissed. Helen took her off night guard duty for a week to practice her defensive moves, particularly the ones involving breaking a stranglehold,” she warned, and I swore her smile brightened. The girl had a bit of evil in her. I loved it. She reminded me of, well, me.

“Thanks for the heads up.”

“No problem. Look, I was a little skeptical when you first came here. I know most of us were, since we had been taught to hate vampires. But I’ve seen for myself that you’re nothing like them. I think Allison may have been more traumatized than most of us. I don’t particularly like the girl, but she’s had it pretty rough.”

“Yeah, I get that. Thanks, Rachel. I’ll see you later.” I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t trying to make Allison hate me, but we weren’t going to be friends any time soon. And she provoked me today, so I wasn’t about to apologize.

Oh, shit. Speaking of apologies...

“Bye, Lucy,” Rachel called from halfway down the hall.

“Hey, Rachel! Have you seen Sophie?”

“I think she’s in her room.” With a quick backward wave, she flitted out of sight.

I made a brief pit stop to the kitchen for my nightly meal and then snuck upstairs swiftly to avoid any run-ins with Allison. Sophie’s door was cracked open, but I knocked before pushing it open further.

Although it was much smaller than mine, it still boasted an en suite and its own walk in closet. The color scheme was fairly neutral. The beige and grey tones were contrasted with black furnishings. Everything was tidy and by the look of her desk, she was a very organized person. There were labels on pencil canisters and separate pen jars, paper stock bins, staplers, binders and everything in between. The only things disrupting the organization were the hundreds of books overflowing from the shelves and practically encrusting every available surface.

She looked up from the current book she was reading, a hesitant smile playing at the corners of her mouth. She sat in the chair by her window and offered a quiet greeting. “Hi,” she said.

“Sophie, I’m so sorry about the way I acted last night. I’ve been kind of off lately.” Understatement of the year.

“It’s okay. It was a dumb idea, anyway,” she sounded defeated.

Shit. I was an asshole. And I didn’t have any experience in dealing with nice people, but I owed her an explanation because she was sweet and didn’t deserve my anger.

“No, it wasn’t. The Sword of Michael is kind of a big deal. And it’s extremely important that it doesn’t end up in the wrong hands. You were right. I was wrong. I just have so many things on my mind lately, but that’s no excuse for lashing out at you.” The last thing I wanted was to start losing my cool around innocent people.

“Is that why you attacked Allison this morning?” she asked.

Did everyone hear about my finest moment? That would explain the funny look Chef Eric shot me as I was leaving the kitchen.

“No, that was a whole new can of worms,” I answered.

“Oh,” she said timidly. “What was it about then?” she asked, her curious nature getting the best of her. She quickly backpedalled. “I’m sorry. It’s none of my business. I shouldn’t have said any-“

“Stop apologizing,” I interrupted her. “It’s okay. We’re friends, right?”

She nodded emphatically. “Yes.”

“Okay, great. It’s fine if you want to ask me personal questions, Sophie.” I went with the most delicate approach I could think of, but if it were Holly, I would have said something about growing some lady balls. I winced against the thought of my best friend.

No crying tonight, Lucy. Suck it up.

Pushing some books aside, I sat on the bed and faced her. Lightening the mood, I replied, “Would you believe me if I said it was about a boy?”

It helped, because her shoulders instantly relaxed, and she smiled wider.

“Really? You like a boy?”

“No. I love a boy,” I clarified.

Saying it out loud for the first time made me lightheaded and a bit queasy. I never thought it would be possible to feel so much for someone, but I did. I loved Gavin, even though I wanted to strangle him at times. That’s beside the point.

“Is it someone here?” Her voice dropped lower with insinuation and she wagged her eyebrows.

I couldn’t help but laugh at her excitement. “Definitely not. He’s not exactly… the mortal type.”

“Aaaahhh.” She drew the sound out as realization dawned on her. “That would make sense, I guess, but aren’t all other vampires evil? How is he different? Or is it like an extreme case of the Bad Boy syndrome?” She squished her face together in concentration, trying to piece together a puzzle. She was a curious little cat, always inquisitive.

“The Bad Boy syndrome?” I laughed.

“You know, like he’s so bad that it makes him more alluring? In all the romance novels I’ve read, the leading male character is always a bad boy type.”

“Well, there could be a case made supporting his bad boy status, but he’s not the evil kind of bad boy.”

I’ve met an evil bad boy, and the only thing that drew me to him was the need to drive a stake through his blackened, undead heart.

“So, if he’s not evil, is he like you?” she asked.

“Not exactly. He’s…” At a loss for words, the only one that came close to describing him was, “an impossibility.”

“Hmm.” I saw the gears turning and could tell she wanted to ask more, but she must have sensed I wouldn’t offer anything else about him.

There had to be a reason he never told me about his dual bloodline, and I refused to divulge his secrets to anyone else.

“So, who is he?”

Remembering our conversation about the elusive estate owner, I knew she had never met him before. “I met him in St. Louis. We sort of… worked together. He’s not a big fan of other vampires either.”

“Wow. So you guys, like, fought side by side? That’s so romantic.” She sighed dreamily.

“Yeah. Bleeding all over each other is the epitome of romance,” I deadpanned.

She laughed, causing her glasses to slip to the tip of her nose. “I just mean that it’s more of a you two against the world kind of thing. You two were a united front who had each other’s backs, right? And it seems that tempers and passions would be heightened in life and death situations, so your bond would have to be pretty strong. You must have had a lot of trust, and… I don’t really know what I’m babbling about. I’m sorry. It’s not like I’ve ever really been in that kind of situation. I only read about them.”

She sounded sullen and became withdrawn, reverting her gaze to her fingernails. I saw the regret in her face and knew she dreamt of the epic adventures she reads about in her books. I realized then, she thought my life was like one of her books. Did she hope by being a Keeper she could experience an extraordinary life?

“Sophie,” I called softly, drawing her attention. “First of all, stop apologizing. Second of all, you don’t want my life. Trust me. There’s no guaranteed happily ever after. I mean, the guy I’m in love with left me and won’t even talk to me. Do you know what unreciprocated love is? It’s called heartache, and it sucks.”

“I know I’ll never be a part of the action. I’m not a fighter, but I want to do something exciting with my life.”

“Wondering whether or not you’re going to die or get your friends killed is not exciting, nor is it fun. It’s not glamorous or romantic. It’s scary as hell. The only chance at romance and excitement you will get is if you leave this life behind. This world can’t offer you those things. The only thing you can get out of it is a short life.”

She sucked in a sharp breath, and I mentally cringed. My words may have been a bit harsh and on the pessimistic side. And yes, I may have sounded a little like a woman scorned. But lying to the girl would only encourage her fantasies.

Sophie bowed her head in defeat. “You’re right.” A moment of silent acceptance passed before she spoke again. “I thought about going to college.”

“Really? You should do it,” I encouraged.

“I don’t know. I want to, but it’s a huge change. And there’s so much I can do here to help.” She was talking herself out of it already, fearing the unknown.

“You don’t need to be here to make a difference in the world. Millions of people make a difference in someone else’s life every day. You definitely need to go to college. You wanted adventure. Nothing says adventure like taking a giant leap of faith headfirst into that big pool of hopes and dreams. Complacency deteriorates the soul, like a cancer that slowly kills you from the inside. If you stay hidden in your comfort zone, one day you are going to wake up bitter and filled with regret. I mean, look at me. I’ve been stuck in here for a month now and I’m already wasting away from teenage drama and complete and utter averageness.”

“You’re far from average, but you’re right, Lucy. I’m going to start looking into colleges around here.” Her smile grew stronger. “But what about you?” she asked.

“What do you mean?” Confusion colored my question.

“Did you ever tell him you loved him?”

I was a bowling pin being set up. I didn’t like where this was headed. “Yes,” I said stubbornly. “Well, I didn’t say those words exactly, but he knows I have feelings for him,” I admitted.

“Maybe you should take your own advice.” Bowling me over, she aged about ten more years in wisdom. “Don’t leave any room for doubts. Make sure all the cards are in his hand.”

He always held all the cards, which was part of the problem. He dictated our relationship from the start and made the rules. Maybe what I needed to do was move on and stop trying to force myself into the role of the pining girlfriend who never was. I just needed to convince my heart to let go. But what if he did care for me, and I just needed to break down his walls? Argh! This was so confusing.

“How am I supposed to tell him if he won’t talk to me? I don’t even know where he is.”

“I’m sure he’ll come around. I get the impression he’s not the type to blow someone off, especially not you. You’re strong and beautiful and a good person,” she said with conviction.