Blessings From the Father (23 page)

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Authors: Michelle Larks

BOOK: Blessings From the Father
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“Ali is young. You are doing the right thing by giving her time. Her loyalty is to her mother, and that is normal. Perhaps in time she will accept Mariah as a friend and more if your relationship continues to evolve.”
“I hope so, Pastor. Well, I'm going to head back to work and make sure things are okay there. Thank you for your time, Pastor.”
“It was no problem. I am always glad to see you and I hope something I've said today has given you comfort. In fact, I'd like to say a prayer for Mariah.” Reverend Cambridge stood up.
Carson did the same. He dropped his head and closed his eyes.
“Father God, I ask that you wrap Mariah in your cloak of protection. Help her to see the situation with her father for what it is. We all make mistakes, no one is perfect. Help Mariah to realize that no matter what Harold did or didn't do, he turned his life around. Most importantly, he turned his life over to you. Put love and understanding in Mariah's heart and comfort her when she needs you the most. These blessings I ask in your Son's name. Amen.”
Carson thanked Reverend Cambridge and told him that he'd see him on Sunday. The Lord put another mission on Carson's heart as he drove back to work. He made a detour, entered I-94, and headed to Altgeld Garden.
Chapter Twenty-five
Twenty minutes later, Carson knocked on Rosemary's door. She opened the door and was shocked to see Carson in front of her. “Goodness,” she said as she brushed her hair back. “I didn't know you were coming here.”
“I'm sorry if I interrupted anything, Mrs. Green. I wanted to talk to you if you have time.”
“Sure, come on in,” Rosemary told him. She stepped back to allow Carson to enter the house.
They walked into the living room. Rosemary sat on the couch and Carson on a chair across from her.
“Is Mariah all right?” Rosemary asked tentatively. Worry lines furrowed her brow.
“I didn't mean to upset you. Mariah is fine. I had lunch with her this afternoon. I won't take up too much of your time. I wanted to talk to you about Mariah's father.”
Rosemary seemed to shrink within herself. “What about him?” she croaked out.
“Well, I'm sure Mariah told you I knew her father. In fact he told me about Mariah, her conception, and everything else.”
“Why would he tell you something like that?” Rosemary asked. “That information is so personal.” A sinking feeling formed in the pit of her stomach. Her hands began trembling. She put them on the side of her body out of sight.
“I agree it is.” Carson nodded. “But Mr. Ellison was my mentor and sometimes they share personal information with their mentees. To show they are less than perfect and have made mistakes in the past.”
“How much do you know exactly?” Rosemary moaned, clearly alarmed. She put her hand over her chest. She prayed Harold didn't tell Carson about her part in the deception.
“Well, he wasn't graphic or anything, but he did say that you wouldn't let him see or talk to Mariah.”
“Under the circumstances, how could I?” Rosemary stated somberly. “Harold Ellison tore apart my family from top to bottom.” She snapped her lips shut.
“I know you went through a tough time. The reason I came here”—Carson held out his hand entreatingly—“is to see if there is anything we can do to prepare Mariah for the truth.”
“What do you mean?” Rosemary's eyes grew wide as saucers. Her hand flew to her bosom.
“I mean, Mr. Ellison left his journals for Mariah. The journals will tell the truth about what happened. She is going to eventually know that you and I both know what happened.”
“Oh, Lord God in heaven.” Rosemary's breathing grew shallow. She gasped for air.
Carson gulped. “Are you all right, Mrs. Green? Is there something I can do to help you?”
Rosemary made sucking noises as she tried to breathe. She pointed to the kitchen. Carson sprang from his seat and ran in the kitchen. He spotted her inhaler on the counter, snatched it up, and trotted back to the living room and gave it to Rosemary.
She quickly inhaled the medication. Carson looked on worriedly. Finally her breathing became somewhat regulated. Her forehead was beaded with sweat. “Can you get me water?” she managed to get out to Carson.
He returned a minute later with a glass of water. Rosemary swallowed it down. Carson waited patiently for her to get herself together. Finally, after thirty minutes, her breathing had returned to normal.
“I'm sorry. Sometimes my attacks are triggered due to stressful events. I think that's why I could never talk to Mariah, for fear that I would have a full-blown attack. This one was minor.”
“I see,” Carson said. He felt miserable for having brought on the asthma attack. He watched Rosemary with a worried look on his face.
“I've had twenty-nine years to tell Mariah the truth. Somehow, even with all that time, I've never been able to tell her. She knows that I am holding something back from her. She has asked me many times what I know and I still can't find the right words.” Tears leaked from Rosemary's eyes.
“I almost want to tell her, but I don't think it's my place. Mr. Ellison wanted to tell Mariah his story. My minister thinks I should respect Mr. Ellison's wishes and just be there for her. I know she's going to need both of us.” The young man babbled helplessly.
“What exactly did he say in the journal? Do you know?”
“I just know he talked about his childhood. He explained about his decision to go into the army, and how he met your husband. There were entries about his meeting Mrs. Ellison, his marriage to her, your daughter, and of course Mariah,” Carson explained.
“Oh, God, what am I going to do?” Rosemary covered her face with her hands and rocked in her seat. Her shoulders shook as she sobbed.
“Mrs. Green, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. Maybe I shouldn't have come here today.” Carson waited for Rosemary to compose herself.
“You know what scares me the most about all of this? I think Mariah is going to feel I let her down. She has always placed me on a pedestal. I've told her many times that I am a regular person with my good and bad ways. I was all she had and she gave her love to me freely. I just can't find the words. . . .”
“But, when she finds out the truth, she is going to have so many questions, Mrs. Green. Maybe if you don't feel up to talking to her, you can answer the questions. Maybe that's all God wants us to do at this point. My minister says God has this under control, and I guess we will just have to wait on the truth to be revealed.”
Rosemary's eyes were red. “I don't know. I am going to have to pray and maybe talk to my own minister. He urged me to tell Mariah the truth many years ago. If I told her what really happened, I feel like I'd tear her world apart and I just couldn't do that to her. I love her too much.”
“I know what you mean. I have children of my own, and we try to protect them from the unpleasant parts of life. I guess we'll have to face Mariah's wrath if it comes to that and pray for the Lord to make her strong enough to face what may come.”
“I guess so. Like I said, I'll have to pray and talk to Reverend Dudley. I don't know what else I can do.” Rosemary shook her head sorrowfully. She felt like her day of reckoning was around the corner and she wasn't quite ready.
“Can I do anything for you? Is there someone I can call? Do you need a doctor?” Carson felt guilty for subjecting Rosemary to his questions.
“No, it's just the shock of knowing that Harold put all of that in his journals. Mariah told me she has been reading them. But she hasn't shared too much about what she's learned. I will be okay. Thank you talking to me, Carson.”
“Are you sure? I hate to leave you if you aren't feeling well. I could never forgive myself it something happens to you,” he remarked caringly after walking across the room and patting Rosemary's shoulder.
“You're a good man, Carson,” Rosemary said. “I know Mariah is not going to take the news well. It comforts me to know that she has you to lean on.”
“I don't know about all of that.” Carson shook his head. “She'll know I was aware of the truth; she may be upset with me too.”
“My girl is not one to hold a grudge. I think with time, she will be okay. At least that's what I pray the outcome will be.” Rosemary tried to comfort Carson.
“We have to trust in God she will get through it one way or another,” Carson said. He looked at his watch. “I have got to go. I'll call you in a few days to see what you're thinking. If you want to just let events unfold, then I will abide by your wishes.”
Rosemary stood up. She and Carson walked to the foyer. After Rosemary opened the door, Carson leaned down and hugged the older woman. “It's going to be okay. God has got this and He doesn't fail. Whatever happens will be a part of His plan.”
Rosemary clung to Carson for a minute. “You are absolutely right,” she replied. “Everything will go according to His plan.”
Carson drove back to Indiana, his heart heavy. He didn't know how fast or slow Mariah was reading the journals. He knew it was only a matter of time before she had the answers to all her questions. Unfortunately, they wouldn't fit into a neat tidy box, like he was sure she hoped they would.
Chapter Twenty-six
Mariah was reading a volume of the journals. She was curled up on the couch in her living room with a cup of hot chocolate on the coffee table. Her eyes were glued to the next entry.
I finished high school today. Most of the kids had parents to cheer them on as they walked across the stage. All I had was the director of the orphanage and Reverend Smith to attend my graduation. I guess that was better than nobody. My guidance counselor, Mr. Price, tried to talk me into going to college. He said I have a natural aptitude for learning and mechanics. I even applied to a few schools and was accepted. But more schooling isn't in the cards for me. I have a hankering in my soul to travel. I've had enough of the South. So I applied to the army and I report for basic training at Fort Bragg, North Carolina in three days. Fresh out of high school to the military, there are worse things a man can do. They army provided me with a bus ticket, my stuff is packed, and I am ready to go. Most people think I'm crazy to enlist with the war going on in Vietnam. Of course I always hear from other boys my age, why would I even consider fighting in the white man's war? But, I haven't quite decided what I want to do with myself. Seeing the world might give me a clearer picture.
In spite of herself, Mariah couldn't help but feel sympathetic for the boy who had become her father. He was raised in an orphanage, never having known his parents, and suffered verbal and physical abuse. She could only imagine what life must have been for him. And it gave her some insight into his mental state. She felt she was coming to know Harold Ellison quite well. Though she still couldn't figure out what Cassie saw in him. Mariah cupped her hand around her chin and kept reading.
Mariah set the journal down on the sofa beside her when her cell phone rang. “Hey, you,” she addressed Carson.
“Hey, how are you? What have you been up to?”
“Well, I did a little more work after you left. Then I started reading another one of my father's journals. I'm at the part where he finished high school and joined the army.”
“I remember him telling me about that,” Carson remarked.
“So, did he like it?”
“He wasn't crazy about being in Vietnam. He said he never got over some of the atrocities he saw committed while he was there. But, I think the army served its purpose. He was able to travel around the world, and found his calling in life. I'll let you continue to read about him. I don't want to give away too much.”
“It's certainly fascinating stuff. He's really a good writer. I can picture in my mind a lot of the stuff he talks about.”
“Good. I think that's what he was hoping for when he left the journals for you to read. So what do you want to do for dinner? Are you cooking?”
Mariah sucked her teeth. “Are you kidding me? You know how I feel about cooking, especially during the week. What about you? Are you cooking?”
“I could,” Carson shot back. “You know between the two of us who the better cook is.”
“You're right,” Mariah conceded waving her hand. “But you've had more practice than I have. Having children will do that every time.”
“Thanks for giving me my props. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, Shanti called me last night, and she asked if Sasha could spend Saturday with us. I am taking the girls to Dave & Buster's Saturday evening.”
“I am sure Sonni wouldn't have a problem with that. In fact, I'm babysitting Sasha Saturday night to give Michael and Sonni some private time. So tell Shanti I believe Sasha going with you Saturday will be a go. I will check with Sonni first.”
“Great. You're welcome to join us if you want to,” Carson offered. He sipped from a bottle of water.
“I'll think about it. I may pass this time and spend some time with Granny. We haven't seen each other since Christmas Day, although we've talked.”
Carson looked downward when Mariah mentioned Rosemary. He had debated with himself whether to mention that he had gone to see Mariah's grandmother. He decided not to mention it.
“I am so excited about moving into the house next door. It's beginning to shape up, and I feel like it's my house. I've enjoyed staying in the big house, but it never felt like my home. I assume you're going to help me move?” Mariah asked Carson.
“Definitely,” Carson said enthusiastically. “I talked to Alex and a couple of guys on my crew and we'll be there bright and early, when you're ready. Are the painters painting the coach house too?”
“Yes. I figured I might as well get everything done at one time. You know I've ordered new furniture and it's stored in the coach house. I donated more furniture to the Salvation Army, and kept some furniture.”
“I hear you.” Carson looked at his watch. “I need to head out. I'll call you later about dinner. It's supposed to snow steadily throughout the evening. We're supposed to get six inches of snow. If the snow continues, then I'll bring over my snow blower and clear out the snow for you.”
“Hmmm, that sounds good. How about I order Chinese as incentive for you?”
“That sounds like a good plan, but you know you don't have to do that.” Carson shook his head. “Spending time with you is incentive enough for me.”
“I like the sounds of that,” Mariah purred. “You've got to go, and I have reading to do. Be careful and I'll see you later.”
“You take care,” Carson told Mariah tenderly.
 
 
Carson entered his office on Kennedy Avenue. He took off his coat and hung it up. Then he sat in the chair at his desk, dialed his voice mail, and checked his phone messages. He jotted the messages on a legal pad.
Carson returned the calls. Then, he called his crew manager to make sure no problems had arisen during his absence. There hadn't been any. Carson swung his chair around and faced the window. He felt so uneasy about the information Mariah was about to uncover. He wished he could take on her hurt, but he knew that he couldn't. He just prayed things would work out the way Mr. Ellison wanted them to. He remembered when Mr. Ellison had first told him about his daughter.
At first Carson had been appalled. He couldn't wrap his brain around what Mr. Ellison had told him. He avoided Mr. Ellison for a few weeks. Finally, he gave up that burden to the Lord, and God instructed Carson not to turn his back on his mentor, everyone makes mistakes, and to have a forgiving spirit. Now, the question was how would Mariah react? That was the $64,000 question, and time would reveal her reaction, sooner rather than later.

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