Blessings From the Father (15 page)
Read Blessings From the Father Online
Authors: Michelle Larks
“You must be more delusional than I thought you were,” Mariah remarked. “There is nothing about your life that screams control. You are so out of control that you don't even realize how sad your life is.”
“If there's anything wrong with my life, then it's your fault and Momma's,” Cassie spit out. Her voice rose as she glared at Mariah. “And, you need to keep your nose out of my business. I can take care of myself.”
“Please.” Mariah shook her head. “Your business is hanging around the bus stop trying to score your next hit. You wouldn't know the meaning of business or taking care of yourself if it hit you in the head.”
“You've always placed Momma on this pedestal haven't you?” Cassie asked her daughter. “Well guess what? Momma is not perfect. Why don't you ask her what happened when you were born? What part she played in all this? She always comes across as the innocent, long-suffering mother. But you'd better believe me, she is the root of all my problems.”
Rosemary looked stricken with each word that came out of her daughter's mouth. She tried to speak, but couldn't find her voice.
“How dare you criticize Granny?” Mariah shouted. “She's been nothing but good to you. She raised your child, me.” Mariah pointed to her chest. “She's loved and stood by you when anybody else would have given up on you.” She pointed a trembling finger in Cassie's direction. “You've lied and stolen from us and you have the nerve to criticize someone. You need to lay down the pipe, get some help, and get yourself together.”
“You need to wake up and see things for what they really are.” Cassie stood up and pounded on the table. “You are so blind.” The napkin on her lap fluttered to the floor. “I think I've overstayed my welcome. I don't know why I came here anyway. Coming here just never seems to work out.” Cassie stalked to the living room as Rosemary watched her with tearstained eyes. Mariah glowered at her with twisted lips.
Cassie removed her coat from the closet and put it on. She opened the front door, stomped outside, and slammed the door behind her.
Rosemary bowed her head sorrowfully.
“That's an addict for you. Their problems are always someone else's fault and not their own.” Mariah turned to her grandmother and said, “I don't understand how she had the nerve to blame her problems on you and me.”
“Me either.” Rosemary shook her head sadly. “That's just Cassie being Cassie.” Her hands shook.
“She sounds like she has mad beef with both of us. I think I liked her better when she ignored me.” Mariah sighed. Then she looked at Rosemary. “Granny, you don't look good. Are you sure you're all right?” Anxiety shone in her eyes.
“I do feel a little shaky,” Rosemary admitted. She stood up. “I'm going upstairs to lie down for a while.”
“Can I get you something? You have been taking your medication haven't you?”
Rosemary nodded her head. “I'll be fine. I just need rest for a minute.”
“Okay, I'll wash the dishes. Do you need me to stay here with you?” Mariah stood up and began clearing the table.
“No, I just need to lie down for a minute,” Rosemary said. She started walking toward the staircase. “Try not to be so hard on Cassie, she's just mixed up.”
“It's Thanksgiving and I'm not going to let Cassie spoil the day for me. Go ahead and get some rest. Let me know if you need anything.”
“I will.” Rosemary walked heavily upstairs to her bedroom. After she removed her shoes, she lay on the bed and closed her eyes. “Lord knows I've got to do something to fix things before this situation gets out of control. Cassie is becoming more unpredictable. I should have come clean with Mariah years ago and told her the truth regarding her birth. She has been through so much, and I just didn't want to be hurt anymore. Lord, did I sacrifice my daughter's love and respect for my granddaughter's happiness?
“People always say how they wish they could turn back the hands of time. I know that I can't but I so wish that I could. Father, help me to make things right. Help me to get my two girls together. In the name of Jesus I pray.”
While Rosemary poured her heart out to God, a troubled Mariah washed dishes and tidied the kitchen. Though she tried to put down Cassie's ranting as dope talk, Mariah had a feeling that there was some truth to Cassie's ramblings. She was disturbed and vowed to get to the bottom of things.
Chapter Seventeen
At the correctional facility located in Marion, Sonyell and Sasha were dressed in holiday colors. Sonyell wore a form-fitting red top with black slacks, while Sasha looked pretty in a gold sweater and black skirt. Mother and daughter were nearing the end of their visit with Michael. Many families were gathered in the common area to spend Thanksgiving Day with their loved ones. Michael's brother, Marvin, his wife, Ashley, and their daughters accompanied Sonyell and Sasha on the visit. Conversation in the visiting area was nonstop. Voices rose and fell intermittently with loud crescendos.
Michael dipped his head and said in his deep bass voice, “Just think I'll be home back in Chi town in three weeks. I can't hardly wait.” He rubbed his hands together.
Sasha was glued to her father's side. She'd given him her undivided attention during their two-hour visit. “I'll be so glad when you come home, Daddy,” she said shyly.
Michael leaned over and pulled one of his daughter's braids. He grabbed Sonyell's hand. “Spending time with my two favorite girls will be the best Christmas present in the world.” He dropped Sonyell's hand and made a circle with his hands.
Michael's brother and his wife were sitting on the other side of the room. They allowed the family private time.
“Sasha, why don't you go sit with your Uncle Marvin for a minute? I need to speak to your dad privately before we leave,” Sonyell asked her daughter
“Do I have to?” Sasha lips drooped as she whined.
Sonyell gave her daughter a look that brooked no argument. Sasha stood up and looked at her father pleadingly. He shook his head, and the girl walked away from the table.
“So, do you have a definite release date?” Sonyell asked Michael. Her eyes watched Sasha sit down with her uncle, his wife, and their children. Soon she was chatting with her cousins. Occasionally her eyes landed back on Michael.
“December fifteenth. My paperwork is all done and being processed. I would like to have a job lined up by the time I get out of here. Did you have a chance to take to Mari?”
“You know I have my doubts about you working for Mari.” Sonyell licked her lips.
“I don't know why.” Michael's eyes narrowed. “It's hard for a con. We both know my record is pretty bad. In times like this it helps to have friends with a hookup.”
“Before I talk to Mari, I need proof that you've changed. I know you've talked a good game. But, I still need to see you and verify for myself that you've changed before I ask a friend for favors.”
Michael looked askance toward Sonyell. “I guess I can understand that. But the difference is that I'm older. I'm actually getting out a little early for good behavior, not to mention the overcrowding of the jails. I've completed my GED. Heck, I've even been going to church here on Sundays. Sonni, I want to try to do right by you and Sasha.” Michael grabbed her hands and held them tightly.
Sonyell was moved by Michael's words. Still she wore a stoic expression on her face. She'd heard this before, especially when Michael was being released from prison. His good intentions usually lasted a month or two.
“I can see you don't believe me, and if you don't feel comfortable asking Mari to help me, then so be it. There are some things I may have to do on my own. Being in here”âMichael's hand swept the space between the coupleâ“has shown me the error of my ways. I've talked to therapists and they've explained to me how I ended up the way I have.”
“And, what did they say?” Sonyell lifted her eyebrow as she leaned forward in her chair.
“My environment played a big part in my life choices,” Michael answered knowingly.
“If that's the case, then how come your brother Marvin went to college, got married, and has his slice of the American dream? After all, you two were raised in the same house by the same mother.”
“Well, Ms. College Girl.” He smiled. “All of us are not the same. You know I was never into school the way you and Marvin were. My brother was a straight-up nerd. Some of us are cut out for school and some of us aren't. They explained all of that to me during the sessions. All I can say is that I was young and dumb and I made some bad choices. You've been there for me. Now it's my turn to do what I can to make life better for you and Sasha.” There were no signs of deception and Michael's demeanor reflected sincerity.
Sonyell tried not to get her hopes up. She had been down this road a time or two. She was acutely aware of how Michael could be charming when he choose to. Sonyell was grateful that his criminal activity consisted of mostly robbery and auto theft. He'd dealt drugs at one time. Michael had never gone as far as to commit murder.
“Babe, this time I completed a HVAC course. You know that I've never taken any classes while I was locked up before. I was always plotting my next criminal move because that's where I thought the money was. But now, I'm getting older and Sasha is growing up. She needs a father. I want to be the best I can for her. I don't want her to visit me in the joint the rest of my life. That's why I'm a changed man. I have two reasons in the world to change my ways: you and my baby girl.” Michael spoke earnestly and with his hand over his heart.
“Well, like you, I don't want Sasha to question me in the future as to why I stuck by a man in prison.” Sonyell dipped her head toward Michael. “So I hope you've really changed. I don't plan to go down this road with you again. You'll either get it together this time or we're through. I've loved you since we were in eighth grade. My family and friends think I'm crazy for standing by you.”
“I know, Sonni. If I could undo parts of my past, I would in a heartbeat but I can't. I can only move forward and I know my actions will speak louder than words. I want us to get married.” He placed his hand over his heart.
Sonyell's eyes widened. She and Michael had spoken of marriage back in high school, even after she became pregnant and had Sasha. But it never happened. Michael was always in jail and Sonyell refused to get married while he was incarcerated.
“I just hope you can live up to my and Sasha's expectations.” Sonyell pointed to their daughter. “It's too soon to talk of marriage, but if you are sincere and prove to be the man I thought you were years ago, I'd be proud to be your wife.”
Just then Sasha walked up. She looked at her mother and yelled, “Married? Are you and my daddy getting married?” She clasped her hands together.
“Slow your roll, little girl, we'll see.” Sonyell smiled. She pulled Sasha's hand and guided her daughter to the chair next to hers.
Sasha looked at her father solemnly. “Grandma Nedra said you have demons and that's why you go to jail so much. Are your demons gone, Daddy?”
“Yes, they are.” Michael smiled at his daughter. “You can tell my momma that I'm a changed man.”
Sonyell looked at her daughter and Michael soberly.
If only it were that simple,
she thought.
I hope so. I hope to God that Michael is sincere and a changed man.
A shiver passed through her body and she tried to hold her fears at bay.
If only it were that simple,
she thought.
I hope so. I hope to God that Michael is sincere and a changed man.
A shiver passed through her body and she tried to hold her fears at bay.
Marvin and his family returned to the table shortly after Sasha did. The family conversed a while longer. Then Marvin announced they were ready to go. “That drive from Chicago wore me out. We left for Marion early this morning after I got off work. We're staying here for the weekend, so we'll be back.”
“Thanks for bringing my family here to see me for the holiday, bro,” Michael said appreciatively to his brother.
“I hadn't been here in a minute to see you, so I figured I'd better get a visit in. We're all excited about your coming home. We just want you to do right and stay on the outside for a while,” Marvin scolded his brother.
“No doubt.” Michael nodded. “I was just telling Sonni, I've learned the error of my ways and I'm going to do right by her and Sasha.”
“I hope so, man. Momma ain't getting no younger. It would be nice if she could see her baby boy doing right.”
“I hear you,” Michael said good-naturedly. “I hate to see you go, but knowing you'll be here for the weekend is a real treat.”
“Momma,” Sasha said glancing at Sasha, “where is Daddy going to stay when he gets out of here?”
“Wow.” Sonyell raked her fingers through her hair. “We hadn't really talked about that. I guess we'll talk about it some more over the weekend.”
“Wouldn't he stay with us? I mean he is my daddy,” Sasha replied. She tugged her snowflake earring.
“We'll see,” Sonyell replied vaguely. “There are still some decisions we have to make.”
Marvin stood up. “We're going head out so we can check into the hotel.” He held his hand out and the brothers shook hands. Ashley and the couple's daughters, Whitney and Jasmine, hugged Michael and told him good-bye. The family headed for the exit.
Sonyell stood up. “I guess we'd better be heading out too. Come on, Sasha, you will see your dad Saturday.”
Sasha stood up reluctantly. “I wish we didn't have to go.”
“By this time next month, we'll see each other on the regular. So do what your mom says,” Michael instructed Sasha.
He stood and hugged Sasha for a long time. He whispered in her ear. She nodded at him admiringly. Then he turned to Sonyell. “I know your mind is going to go into overdrive, but I promise you, babe, everything is going to be fine. You just wait and see.” He took her into his arms and held her tightly. He gave her a chaste kiss since Sasha was with them.
Sonyell took her daughter's hand. They walked toward the exit. Mother and daughter turned to wave to Michael before they left. Michael blew them a kiss in return.
Sonyell held Sasha's hand as they stood in line to be processed out. She closed her eyes and prayed with all her being that things would work out this time. She wanted her daughter to have both parents actively in her life. Sonyell sighed heavily and opened her eyes; she knew only time would tell. Sonyell and Sasha rushed to catch up with Marvin and his family.
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