Blessed Vows (5 page)

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Authors: Jillian Hart

BOOK: Blessed Vows
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When she opened her eyes, she realized Jake had stepped away from the swing and was sitting on the closest picnic table bench, watching her with serious eyes.

It was as if in that brief moment he could see right through her to the places that mattered and held the greatest truths. Her heart skipped a beat and her soul brightened the way sunshine brightens the day after passing clouds.

In that moment it was as if the earth stilled and time halted and she saw the man he was; she saw beyond the
warrior and her brother's friend and Sally's uncle. Jake was no longer a stranger. She couldn't say exactly why; it was only something she could feel. Like faith. Or like hope.

She could sense the heart of the man, his integrity and character and strength. And his goodness.

He folded his strong arms over his broad chest. “Come join me.”

That sounded like the best idea ever. Her feet were moving her forward before she made the conscious decision. “Sally seems to be having a good time. I'm glad you brought her.”

He took the bowl she offered him. “Being here seems to have done her a world of good. I haven't seen her smile since I came to pick her up. Now I owe you.”

“For what?” She eased onto the far end of the bench. “I didn't do anything. Just made supper and apple pie and now I handed her a Popsicle.”

“Ben told me you were humble, too. Not just nice and sweet and funny—”

“My brother is biased, plus he spends most of his time far away from here. You know that. Distance makes the heart grow fonder and dulls the memory of a person's faults.”

“Sure, okay. I don't buy that.” He bit off the end of his Popsicle. “You are funny.”

“Me? I haven't said anything funny since you got here. I wish I were funny. You know, like a comedian.”

“Well, you are the only woman I know who wears big pink rabbits on her feet.”

“What?” She stared at her slippers. She was still wearing them? “I'd forgotten all about them.”

“And you're nice. You could have let your pet moose attack me and Sal.”

“It was tempting.” She slurped the melting goodness off the top of her grape pop. “Like I said, I owed you for saving Ben when he was hurt.”

“He seems to be doing better. They say he'll be back on base after his honeymoon.”

“He's pretty psyched about being able to return to active duty.”

“We're pretty psyched he's coming back. He might get back to work before I do.” Jake nodded to where Sally sat twirling in the swing while licking the dripping goodness of the iced treat. There was a whole lot he didn't know how to say. His job wasn't just any job. He was a para-rescueman; he put his life on the line so that others might live. And he couldn't do that living near the base and being home every night to take care of Sally.

And yet if he didn't take her, then there was no one else but social services. He wouldn't do that to her. He couldn't. He loved her too much and he could never break the trust his sister had placed in him for Sally's sake.

Lord, I know this is all in Your plan. So please, show
me the way to help Sally through this. Show me what I'm supposed to do with her and for her.

Jake had no idea how this was going to work out. He had orders to be back at Hurlburt by the end of the month. He fully expected to be deployed immediately. He'd rejoin his squad in the Middle East. Orders were orders, and how he was going to do his duty and be home to take care of Sally was a mystery. Was there a chance he could find someone trustworthy to take care of Sally while he was gone? A good nanny was his only option.

“I imagine having her in your life is going to change things a bit.” Understanding shone in Rachel's lovely blue eyes, as if she could see his dilemma.

She was so friendly and kind, it was hard to remember he'd only just met her today. Maybe it was because he knew Ben so well and he'd seen the family pictures—with Rachel in them—that Ben had, as long ago as the tough seven weeks of PJ qualifications at Indoc that made boot camp look like a day at the beach. Whatever it was—probably God's hand in things—he felt as if he'd known Rachel far longer. And that she was someone he could trust. That was something he hadn't had in a real long time.

“I'm lucky I have my own place off base. Ben lives in the same complex.”

“Are you on the beach, too?”

“Oh, yeah. Not that I'm ever home to enjoy it. But
at least I've got a roof and four walls and a bedroom to get fixed up for her.” He bit into the sugary grape ice and savored the blast of flavor on his tongue. “First I've got to get her settled. Make her feel like she's got a home no matter what.”

“That will mean a lot to her.”

The gentle evening breeze gusted, catching wisps of Rachel's beautiful hair. The rich chestnut strands were shot with gold from the soft rosy evening's light and caressed the side of her face, emphasizing the creamy complexion of her skin and the delicate cut of her high cheekbones. Hers was a beautiful face, he realized. So lovely that he could not look away.

She seemed unaware of her beauty—both outward and inward—as she bit into her iced pop and watched Sally on the swing. She tilted her head to one side, her hair sweeping against the delicate arch of her neck. The breeze stirred between them, bringing him the scents of grape and a subtle sweet cinnamon scent.

“It's going to be a huge adjustment for Sally. She'll have to get used to living in a new place. She'll have a new school. She'll have to make new friends. And on top of that, she'll be grieving,” Rachel said.

“You do understand.” It was only proof the Lord had brought him here for a reason. He felt overwhelmed with his responsibilities toward Sally—not that he was about to let her down. He was all she had. “I want to do right by her. It's just gonna take a lot to help her through this.”

“But she will get through it. She has you.”

“I'm not going to be enough for her.” Honesty. It popped off his tongue before he had a chance to think of a less-revealing answer. He felt exposed as Rachel turned on him her sympathetic gaze, as tender as a touch, and he reeled from it.

He wasn't comfortable being this close to anyone, and yet it was too late to take back the words. They could not be unspoken, and now he heard the silence between them. And he worried she would think the same thing. He didn't want this woman he liked—he really did—to think less of him.

“You're her uncle. You're a big strong warrior who has faced danger all over this world and put your life on the line for what was right. What better man to take care of a vulnerable child?”

He shook his head, as if he really thought she was wrong. “I know nothing about little girls. Not really. I hardly know Sally. I've been deployed most of her life. We're more strangers than family.”

“I've seen you two together. I don't believe that.”

“Then you're wrong.” He didn't know how to explain it. He'd kept contact with Sally and his sister over the years, they were the only family he had since his parents' deaths. He'd loved Jeanette and his niece, but his career was beyond demanding, and he had little time for more than a phone call every few weeks.

He loved Sally. But it had been from a great distance.
He rescued soldiers who were in trouble wherever and whenever they needed him. He couldn't do that and be home to take care of Sally.

“If we're going to be friends, then there's one thing you'd better know about me right up front, Mr. Jake Hathaway.”

“What's that?”

“I'm never wrong. Well, not about this. I know exactly what it's like to have your world shatter. But I was lucky. Paige was old enough to keep us together. To hang on to the diner and this house. She became the head of the family. Our uncle Pete kept a close watch on us, and he helped out always. But Paige kept us a family. She gave up her dreams of going to college to stay and raise us. To run the diner. To make the mortgage payments. To make sure we got through school and into college if we wanted.”

“You went to college?”

“I'm a waitress with a bachelor in education and English. I wanted to teach.”

“That's why you're so good with kids. You would have made a great teacher. Why didn't you?”

“That's tricky. It's about doing the right thing. I bet you know something about that.”

Her gaze fastened on his. For all her softness she was a very direct woman. He could see the steel in her, too, a strength that made him sit up a little straighter and respect her. “Family,” he guessed.

“Yes. Paige stayed to run the diner for us. And now that her son's a senior in high school, he'll be going away to college next year, Paige wants to get on with some of the goals she had to set aside. I've agreed to take over the diner for her. Which means I have to learn things like bookkeeping and purchasing and managing.”

“When you'd rather be a teacher.”

“I'd rather see my sister happy. She deserves it, after all she's done for me. For all of us.”

Shame exploded in his chest. The Lord worked in mysterious ways, but He was always faithful. Always awesome.

Jake had been struggling with what to do—and the good Father had brought him here, to this woman of gentleness and goodness, to remind him of what really mattered in this life. Family. Keeping children safe. It was why he trained so hard and pushed himself so far every day he wore his uniform.

He believed in what he did—saving others, protecting others and defending this country so women like Rachel and children like Sally could live their lives in peace and safety.

Before he could turn to thank Rachel for her gentle reminders on this peaceful evening, the sliding door rasped open and there was Ben, walking with a slight limp, looking a ton better than he had the last time Jake had seen him in the field hospital. He chose to leave his thanks unspoken to Rachel and stood to greet his best friend.

Hours later in the hotel as he watched Sally sleep through the motel room's adjoining door, he remembered to give thanks for his time spent with Rachel. The thought of her stuck with him, like an imprint on his soul.

Chapter Five

T
here was something about weddings. A singular joy raced through Rachel's soul as she stood next to Cadence, her brother's soon-to-be-wife, in the crowded little room in the church's basement. She would be gaining a sister today.

“Of course it would have to be the windiest day ever.” Cadence rolled her eyes in good humor despite the tangle of her once-perfect curls. “At least I look more like myself this way. Ben isn't used to seeing me all dressed up, instead of with my wet hair tied back after a day working at the pool.”

Cadence was a swimming instructor and diving coach at the county pool, and her hair was wet and tied back in a ponytail more often than not. As the first of the autumn leaves scoured the basement window, Rachel handed Paige one of the homemade pearl-and-rib-
boned barrettes that perfectly matched Cadence's homemade wedding dress. Paige wielded the curling iron with skill before plucking the barrette from Rachel's fingers.

Weddings were like fairy tales coming true. Rachel couldn't hold back the happiness she felt for Cadence and her brother. They had found true love, one of God's greatest blessings.
Please, Father,
she prayed,
protect them and guide them. Help them to make their love stronger with every passing day.

Rachel caught Cadence's gaze in the mirror. “You have never looked more lovely.”

The bride's chin wobbled. “I've never been more nervous in my entire life. I'm getting married, not competing in the Olympics. But look at me.” She held up her hand, lovely with a new manicure. “Like a leaf.”

“Nerves are perfectly normal,” Amy commented from the doorway behind them, where she was gently shaking out the beautiful tulle and pearl veil. “When I married Heath, I was scared to death. And it didn't make any sense because I wanted to be his wife more than anything.”

“That's exactly how I feel.” Cadence lowered her trembling hands to the edge of the dressing table and took a steadying breath. “I love your brother more than my life. But I'm not sure if I can keep my knees steady enough to walk down the aisle to marry him.”

“You'll be fine.” Paige slid the final barrette into
place in Cadence's thick, beautiful hair. “Once you see Ben, the nerves will slip away.”

“Do you promise?”

“Absolutely.”

“That isn't making me shake less.” Cadence's chuckle was a nervous one.

Rachel took her trembling hands and squeezed. “It's an important moment and worthy of anxiety. You want it to go right. You want your life from this moment on to be full of love and happiness.”

“I don't want to disappoint Ben. I love him so much.”

Rachel melted, because this was the way love should be. The only kind of love she wanted for her friend Cadence and her brother, but also, one day, for herself.

“Oh! They're ready for us!” Amy exclaimed from the doorway. “Do you hear the organ upstairs?”

The first sweet strains of “Amazing Grace” sifted through the floorboards and the sound seemed to hearten Cadence. The beautiful bride managed a calm smile. “Ben is waiting for me?”

“He's at the top of the stairs,” Amy answered as she carefully handed the veil to Paige.

Cadence's eyes teared. “This is it. I'm really going to get married.”

“Really and truly.” Rachel could feel the change as she helped Cadence to stand. “How are those wobbly knees?”

“Only a little shaky. I'm doing better. You're right. I
just need to see Ben and I'll be fine.” The bride gasped as Paige secured the veil, and the delicate fabric fluttered over her beautiful face. “Do I really look all right? Do you think he'll be pleased?”

“He's going to burst with pride when he sees you.” Paige leaned close to hug Cadence, and then stepped aside so Amy could do the same. “Welcome to the family.”

Rachel swiped at her tears. Her friend glowed with a radiance that only a bride in love could have. She passed out the bouquets. The gentle fragrance of roses and lavender seemed to bless them as they filed out of the room and up the stairs where organ music filled the sanctuary. Amy's strapping husband Heath offered his wife his arm and led the way down the aisle.

It was so beautiful. Rachel savored the moment, her heart full as she watched her younger sister and her husband progress arm-in-arm. Maybe it was the glint of jeweled light through the stained-glass windows that seemed to bless them with a caring touch. Or the sweet strains of Pachelbel's famous canon began, and the music seemed to draw the couple closer. Amy tilted her head back, her dark-blond locks tumbling over her shoulders, to smile up at her man.

Big, solemn Heath met her gaze and for an instant it was as if the world stopped moving, the music stood still and the sunlight beaming from above brightened. The abiding love between wife and husband seemed to
have a shine of its own. A beauty that added to the beauty in the church. Although the pews were mostly empty—Cadence and Ben wanted a small wedding—a collective sigh of awe seemed to whisper through the aisles.

Happiness wrapped around Rachel like a hug. The loneliness of her own personal life hardly mattered. Not when she saw how blessed Amy was. And how happy Cadence and Ben could be. One day, she would have joy like this. And until then, she gave thanks that the people she loved most had found what her heart yearned for. There was nothing more important on this earth than love.

“They look committed to one another.” A familiar baritone rumbled next to her ear.

Rachel jumped. She hadn't heard anyone approach, but there was a man right beside her, tall and handsome in a black tux. “Jake. You scared me to death.”

“Sorry. I'm trained to be stealthy. Didn't mean to sneak up on you.”

“Well, you did. You're the dude I'm supposed to let escort me down the aisle.”

“Yes ma'am, if you're the maid of honor.”

“Guilty.”

She took one look at his strong arm. Even beneath the black fabric she knew he would feel like tensed steel. The aisle stretched out ahead of them, and the idea of fitting her arm against his gave her a sudden jolt of panic. She didn't know why, and she couldn't explain it.

Before she'd met him, she knew she'd be walking down the aisle with Ben's best friend. But now that she'd met him and actually liked him, and seen that in that tuxedo he was the single most handsome man she'd ever seen, her heart flip-flopped in her chest and gave a romantic tumble all the way to her toes.

It wasn't love, of course. Love took time, it took commitment and careful tending. But this was a serious case of like. As she threaded her arm through his, she had to fight to keep her feet firmly on the ground. The solid feel of him, his steady presence at her side, the way his gait seemed to match hers, there was something right about being so close to him, like a key in a lock. Her heart clicked.

The sun chose that moment to beam even more brightly through the rich panels of the stained-glass windows, and it felt like heaven's touch cradling them in light and color. The church was a blur—the candles, the flowers and the faces of the guests standing as the wedding march began. But none of that seemed to register, not next to the absolute calm that came into her soul.

Jake released her and she realized they were at the altar where their beloved pastor was smiling kindly, his Bible in hand. Dazed, she took her place beside Amy, her vision too bright to see anything but Jake settling into place beside Heath, putting his hands behind his back and turning to face the bride and groom.

She felt changed and she didn't know why. She was still the same; she still felt the same, still thought the same. Everything around her was the same. But it was as if something had transformed; as if she'd taken a step in a fork in the road that she couldn't see, only feel.

“They are going to be so happy together,” Amy leaned close to whisper. “Look at them.”

The bride and groom glowed. Not in a flashy obvious way. But as they approached the altar, it was easy to see the deep steady light that filled them. The same light of an unshakable love that silenced everyone in the sanctuary.

I want a love like that, Rachel wished.

This time it didn't feel so far out of reach.

 

“Rachel.”

The male voice coming from behind her in the diner didn't sound right, but she turned without thinking, Jake's name on the tip of her tongue. Even as she realized it wasn't the handsome best man who had approached her.

She took in the blond hair, the dark eyes and the familiar look to him. She didn't recognize him right off. “Wait. Derrick Whitley, right?”

“Yep, that's me.” He strolled to a stop beneath the black and gold banner reading Congratulations! that swung over the aisle. He jammed his hands in his pockets. He'd matured, he'd put on a good thirty pounds, but
he had a humble smile. “I don't know if you've heard, but I'm moving back to Montana.”

“Your mom mentioned it to me the last time she was in the diner.” Mrs. Whitley had also said that Derrick was an accountant who made a fine living and was single, since he'd divorced his unfaithful wife. It was hard not to feel sorry for Derrick. He still seemed as nice as ever. “Ben said you two have managed to stay friends.”

“It's not easy keeping up with him. I hear he's going back to Florida after the honeymoon. And that Paige is leaving the diner to you.”

“You know a lot for a man who's been out of town for the last decade or so.”

“Mom keeps me updated.” Derrick reached into his shirt pocket. “If you need help when you take over the diner, maybe you'll be looking for a new accountant. Give me a call. Or maybe I could just stop by and see you sometime. You know, during lunch.”

“Sure.” Not that she was so interested in Derrick, but this was more than a surprise. She couldn't shake the feeling that something had fundamentally changed in her life, in the path she was walking, and so she accepted the card with a nod and pointed Derrick in the direction of the buffet line.

Where had her nephew gone off to? She spun around, searching through the arriving guests for her favorite little boy. A little girl dressed in a purple sundress and matching lavender sandals gave a little wave from the front door.

“Rachel!” Sally hung on to her uncle's hand, all the trust in the world shining in her eyes as she clung to him. “I gotta grape dress, too!”

“We match.” Rachel gave her full skirt a swish. “Do you want to come with me?”

“Um, okay.” Sally tipped her head back, her full curls cascading over her reed-thin shoulders. “You're comin' too, huh, Uncle Jake?”

Rachel found it hard to keep her admiration volume on low as Jake gave a slow nod. She braced herself against that high-wattage smile of his, but he didn't smile. No dimples, nothing. Instead she saw the iron curve of his jaw. The hard gleam of his stormy eyes. And the military stance of a soldier at attention.

“Sure.” Jake's lips barely moved. “Go ahead.”

Was something wrong? The last time she'd seen him, he'd looked happy congratulating Ben after the ceremony. As Sally sidled up and reached for her hand, Rachel decided Jake had a lot on his mind. He carried serious responsibilities on those wide shoulders of his. She knew he was hoping to leave on a late-afternoon plane. “Did you want to help yourself to the buffet? I'll get Sally fed. Does that sound like a good plan?”

“It does.” He didn't look at her but pushed up the sleeve of his jacket to study his watch. “We've got plenty of time. I made a call to the airline on the way over. As of five minutes ago, they have space available on their afternoon flight to L.A.”

Okay, so he did have leaving on his mind. As she watched Sally press closer to her uncle, Rachel understood. The girl needed security. She was afraid of losing Jake, too. “Great, but I guess you won't be stopping by for that roast I promised you.”

“That's too bad. Sal and I had a good time last night.”

“Me, too.” She didn't want to analyze that too much. He was leaving. Of course he was—she'd known that all along. It made no sense that she felt disappointed. “Hey, Sally. We've got a kids' party all set up on the patio. Do you want to come see?”

“Is Uncle Jake comin' too?” Endless hope rang in those words, and a child's honest need.

Jake let his sleeve slide back into place. “I'll come and see how you're doin'. You go have fun with Rachel.”

“Oh. Okay.” Sally swallowed hard. “Uh, when are you gonna come see?”

She thinks I'm mad at her, Jake realized and felt like a heel. “I'll come see you as soon as I get some grub. Deal?”

“Deal.” Sally's eyes stayed wide and wary as she stuck to Rachel.

Rachel. Just looking at her made his temper want to erupt like a major volcano. He had to get a grip. He had to chill out. He was a highly trained soldier. He had discipline. Tons of discipline. So why couldn't he seem to calm down?

Good question. One he didn't have an answer for. He watched Rachel cast him an uncertain look, something between a grin and a look of relief, as she turned to lead Sally through the diner. The bridesmaid dress she wore was all soft-looking silk that flowed like a dream behind her. She was everything lovely and feminine and domestic, everything that was way out of his reach. He'd never felt turmoil about that before. He'd known long ago that his job and domestic tranquility weren't compatible. A settle-down kind of woman wasn't for him.

“Hey, Hathaway.” Ben called above the crowd on the other side of the long buffet server. “Come meet Derrick. He jumps. We're talkin' about going up when I get back from our honeymoon. Are you still gonna be around?”

“What's that, three weeks?” Revved up at the thought of skydiving, Jake navigated around the small crowd at the end of the buffet. “I don't know how long my sister's estate is gonna take to wrap up, but maybe. Count me in, if I'm still on this side of the continent.”

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