Blessed Tragedy (7 page)

“So Mark, did you get my guys monkey suits?” The thought of my band mates wearing suits made me giggle more than it should have. To them, dressing up meant finding a shirt that didn't have a band logo on it. It'd be interesting to see how everyone cleaned up.

“Nah, I figured Jon might kick my ass if I went that far. But don't worry; they'll do ya proud by the time I'm done with them.” He winked at me and I knew he was sincere. Mark understood how difficult it was for me to put them in a place where they might be judged by our closed-minded family.

“I think Mark's right,” Matt chimed in, taking a long draw off his beer. “With a little fairy dust, there's hope for you four yet.” I wasn't sure who should be more offended; my brother who'd essentially just been outed or myself and my band mates for the thought that we didn't have 'hope' without help from my brother.

“You're an ass, you know that Matt?” While I was genuinely upset, every male in the basement laughed at the lack of conviction in my voice.

“Whatever you say, Moo.”

Oh hell no! I'm going to be forced to kill my brother the night before my mom's wake.

“Moo?” Jon and Travis asked in unison. Colton sat down next to me, holding me in place on the couch.

“I told you your brothers have loose lips when they drink,” Colton said. He pulled my upper body down so I was lying across his lap. I wanted to get up and kick Matt's ass but Colton's lap was just too comfortable for me to leave.

“I told you not to call me that in front of anyone, Matthew Edmund.” I glared at the men standing around the pool table giggling like little girls by this point. “And you two, forget you ever fucking heard that. I swear I'll throw you under the bus, literally, if this follows me to Wichita.”

While they said I could count on them to never bring it up again, the glint in their eyes told me my life was going to be a living hell.

“Okay,” Travis agreed, “but if it's not going with, that means it's fair game while we're here. Where in the hell did 'Moo' come from?”

“I might have had a fascination with cows when I was
four
. Yes, I've dealt with their shit for almost twenty years. It's a little old at this point but I can't shake it.”

“Fascination my ass.” I glared at Mike for getting in the middle of this. He was usually the one who acted like a wallflower in any social situation. Why was he suddenly Mr. Talkative? “She was obsessed. If she saw a cow while we were driving, she'd yell to it hoping it would look her way. One time, she begged Dad to pull over so she could go and say hello to a cow that was near the fence. And if she saw anything with cows on it in the store, she had to have it. I'm pretty sure the boxes are still upstairs. Want me to grab them so you can decorate the bus?”

“Fuck you, Michael. Don't you have something you could be doing?” The words were there but there was still no emotion in them. The only reason I was fighting sleep was fear for what they would talk about once I passed out.

It didn't take long before the need to sleep won the fight with my paranoia. I'd deal with the ramifications later. And if there was one thing I knew, it was I'd be sure to hear about what I missed. Possibly for the rest of my life.

“Come on, sleeping beauty. Let's get you into your bed,” Colton whispered. I cracked my eyes open just far enough to see where I was; still in the basement. Two concerned big brothers were watching the exchange between me and Colton a little more closely than I was comfortable with.

“Where's Trav and Jon?” The game of pool had disbanded and we were alone with Matt and Mike. Of course, the one brother I wouldn't have to worry about reading too much into the closeness had made himself scarce.

“They're outside with Mark.” I cocked an eyebrow at the thought of my gay brother in the hot tub with my two very attractive band mates. “They'll be fine. Let's go.”

Before my foot hit the first step, my brothers scooped me up and pulled me back into the rec room. I turned around to see them standing shoulder to shoulder in front of me.

“So, uh...” Mike having trouble finding the words when he wanted to speak was worth noting. Mom always said he was as quiet as he was because he only said what needed to be said when it needed to be said.

“What he's trying to say,” Matt said, taking control of the conversation and slapping Mike in the chest, “is you were pretty good out there. You obviously love what you're doing and it's pretty evident that Jon, Travis and Colton care about you. So, we're sorry for giving you such a hard time for so long.”

There were no tears this time. I'm not sure if that's because I was getting used to hearing kind words from my family or if I had hit the point where there simply were no more tears to shed. I wrapped one arm around each brother and pulled them in tight. “Thanks,” I whispered before releasing them.

Colton and I plodded up the two sets of stairs and into my bedroom. “You know they'll have your balls if you sleep with me tonight, right?” Sleeping under the same roof as Colton and still having an empty bed was going to be a special level of torture, but nothing compared to the wrath of four angry Neumann men.

“What do
you
want, Rain?” I realized in those few words just how well Colton knew me. It had nothing to do with his question and everything to do with how he addressed me. When we were around my family, I was Maddie but here in my room, when it was just us, I was Rain.

I bit my lower lip, debating whether to tell him the truth or not. The look in his eyes begged me to ask him to stay. He didn't want to sleep alone either.

“I don't want you to go but I don't want to explain your untimely death to five thousand fans on Sunday night either.”

“We can deal with them in the morning. If you want me here tonight, that's where I'll be.”

“Thank you.” I took the hot pink down comforter off the bed and pulled back the sheet. Colton crawled in behind me and pulled me against his chest.

As I drifted to sleep, his lips pressed against my bare shoulder. I knew I should object but I liked it. It was such a simple act, but it was a step in a direction we'd both decided we weren't going to go. That didn't upset me as much as I thought it would.

Chapter Six

I woke up the next morning to Colton gently rubbing my back. A full night of sleep didn't change my feelings that something was different between us. I inhaled sharply at the tingling I felt as his fingers grazed along my side.

“You okay?” His voice was tender, his breath warm against my skin.

“Yeah, I'm good,” I sighed. Despite everything I knew I was going to be dealing with in the next two days, I did feel good. It felt waking up in the arms of my best friend, knowing that he was willing to give up time off in order to be with me. “We should go find Jon and Trav.”

“They're having coffee with your brothers, they're fine.” Colton wrapped his arm around me again, not in any hurry to face the day. He pulled back the arm that had been under my neck and brushed the hair away from my face. “And I smoothed things over with your brothers and your dad. I think they understand.”

“What did you tell them?” Somehow I didn't believe they'd think it was completely normal for two adults to sleep in the same bed without anything happening. If roles had been reversed, I knew I wouldn't believe it.

“Relax. I told them that you didn't want to be alone last night and I stayed with you.” He kissed my shoulder again and I nestled myself deeper into his chest. “You just lost your mom. You had your entire world flipped on end yesterday. It'd be a lot for anyone to take in, even a badass like you.”

I wasn't fully convinced no one would say anything but he was right and he had been honest. I didn't want to be alone. If there were questions, we could answer them without having to worry about matching our stories because nothing happened. And if push came to shove, I knew we could count on Jon to corroborate our story. He wasn't one to turn down any chance he got to give Colton a hard time about not screwing me.

I rolled over so I could look at Colton as we lay in each other's arms. This morning his eyes were a crystalline blue, the kind that seemed to almost glow with purity. I wasn't sure if I'd never noticed that before or if I'd worked to push their beauty to the back of my mind.

Right or wrong, I couldn't resist the urge to run my fingers through the coarse hair on his chest. There was just enough there to play with without feeling like I was touching a bearskin rug. I felt his breath hitch as my hand traveled up his sternum.

“Thank you,” I whispered. Even if I'd wanted to, I'm not sure I was capable of breaking my gaze from his. We both knew this was a turning point and I prayed it wasn't only that way because of my weakened emotional state. “What time is it?”

“It's still early, almost eight.” The same voice I'd listened to every morning and every night was low and soft causing me to take a deep breath. If we weren't in my parents' house and if I wasn't still battling my feelings, I knew we would have been all over one another.

Instead, I drew myself up so I was leaning over his face and brushed my lips against his forehead. “That means it's time to get up. I think my aunt is going to be here around eleven, my other aunt and uncle shortly after. By three, I'm going to be begging for a stiff drink with the number of people who are going to be here.”

I pulled a plain forest green t-shirt out of the duffle bag I packed when we were leaving last night. Since my family seemed more accepting of my appearance now, I wasn't going to sweat my ass off until I absolutely had to. I opened my dresser and saw that all of the clothes I'd abandoned years earlier still filled the drawers. I pulled out a pair of denim shorts and pulled them on.

“Ready?” I turned around and saw Colton watching me. It's not like he hadn't seen me get dressed before but the way he looked at me sent a shiver up my spine. It was probably a good thing we were in one of the few places where I could guarantee nothing would happen because I was very close to doing something I knew I'd regret later.

“Yep, let's go.” The way Colton wrapped his arms around me as we walked out the door was becoming all too familiar. We probably looked like a couple of fools waddling down the hallway so we wouldn't step on each other's feet as he pressed into my back but that was okay.

“You know, you keep holding onto me like that and no one's going to believe there's nothing going on,” I laughed as we came to the top of the stairs. “And then we're back to me having to explain your death and I'm pretty sure your little groupies would kick my ass then. It'd just be bad.”

“Okay,” Colton said throwing up his hands in surrender, “You win. But only because I don't want your brothers to kick my ass. They're really not as bad as you make them out to be, you know.”

“Well, let's just say they're not as bad as they used to be. Trust me, the loving family you see right now has only been in existence for about twenty-four hours.”

As I led Colton into the kitchen, the room went silent and everyone turned to look at us. It was obvious Colton's attempt to explain our sleeping arrangements fell on deaf ears based on the scowls on Matt and my dad's faces.

The rest of the morning was spent in awkward silence. I knew part of it had to do with everyone trying to mentally prepare for Mom's visitation and the onslaught of relatives who were on their way to our house but it was still disturbing. I have never been the type who deals well with silence, especially when accompanied by long glances.

My dad asked me if I'd thought about his question and I told him I'd have to talk to Colton to make sure he was with me. While he hadn't asked me about having us do something together, it was the only way I was going to make it through.

Colton and Jon walked through the front door as I made my way towards the basement looking for them. I didn't expect the guys to hang around with my family all day; it was enough just to know they were here for me when I needed them. I motioned to the basement door so I could talk to them in private.

“Hey Colt, can I ask you a huge favor?” He might not think it was anything unusual but it was taking everything I had to ask him to do this.

“I already told you I'm here for whatever you need. If I didn't want to help you out, I'd be on the bus in Wichita or holed up with some honey in a hotel room.” We all laughed knowing Colton was full of shit. Not once had we seen him pick up a groupie or anyone else. When Jon told him he'd be much better off if he grabbed one of the girls who threw themselves at him, he made it abundantly clear that groupies weren't his thing.

“I know, but this is pretty big.” My focus was broken by the sounds of an acoustic guitar coming from the far corner of the rec room. I'd heard Travis tinker around on the guitar before, but this was totally different. It was beautiful. He was playing
Dust in the Wind
by Kansas. There was no way he could have known that was one of my mom's favorite songs. “Hang on,” I whispered, not wanting to interrupt. By the time Travis finished the second verse, my vision was blurred by tears and Colton was holding me.

“Good job man, you made Rain cry,” Colton said when Travis finished and looking up.

“Hey little storm cloud, you okay? I didn't think it was that bad.” Travis propped the guitar against the side of the pool table and came over to hug me.

“I just...wow. That was awesome.” Hearing him play like that gave me an idea. “I'll be right back. You guys stay here, okay?”

I ran up the stairs taking two at a time, almost plowing into Matt as I rounded the corner to find my dad. “Hey, sorry, where's Dad?” I prayed he would be okay with my latest idea.

Dad was in his office poring over paperwork looking worried. He shoved the papers into a drawer when he saw that I had barged into the room. “Hey Moo, you okay?”

“Yeah, but I need to ask you a question.” For someone who exerted as much energy on stage as I did every night, I shouldn't be huffing and puffing like a lifelong smoker at the end of a marathon. I rested my hands on my knees to catch my breath.