Bleeding Heart (20 page)

Pushing myself against his chest, I lost myself to the feeling of his smooth lips on mine and the taste of him in my mouth when I felt his hands on my waist tighten. And then he pulled away with a strangled breath. “Nova,” he breathed. Taking one look into my lust filled eyes, he groaned. “Fuck.”

I leaned back. “I’m sorry.” I whispered, feeling a blush taint my cheeks. What on earth had come over me?

“Don’t be sorry, love.” He said firmly. “Never be sorry for wanting me.”

My blush deepened, because I knew, he knew, how badly I wanted him in this moment. It had to be written all over my face, no doubt.

Slowly, I wiggled from his lap. A quick glance around the beach showed that not many people cared to watch us. Most were couples so entranced in one another they had no reason to even glance our way. I found I was thankful for that blessing as I settled back beside Calix on the blanket. Again, I dug my feet into the sand before I stared out over the brilliant blue.

“I’ll, um, take that wine now.” I stated after a few moments had passed and Calix had made no move to pour the wine, preferring to watch me with those penetrating blue eyes of his.

Quietly, Calix poured the wine. I couldn’t help but think he looked a little bothered by something, but I’d nearly just kissed the life right out of him, so I didn’t want to ask what was bothering him. I doubted he hated my kiss as he’d been kissing me just as fiercely as I’d kissed him, but I also knew him well enough to know that there was something on his mind.

Calix handed me the glass and I opened my mouth to question him when he spoke. “Nova,” He sounded so unsure. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck rise in spite of the Greek heat. “I have to talk to you about something.”

I felt my eyes sway to his face even though I wanted to ignore everything he was saying and continue on in the bliss I’d found against his lips only moments prior.

Gathering my courage, I spoke gently. “Okay.”

He took in a deep measured breath and I felt my heart begin an unsteady, thunderous beat in my chest. “I want you to know I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you through. I should never have taken you - I know that. I knew that when I took you, when I was planning to take you, once I had you in my house. I’ve always known that what I was doing was wrong, but in my mind,” He paused on a strangled breath and I knew this was so much harder for him than he’d originally made it seem. “I kept telling myself I was justified. I wasn’t. I know that. My actions don’t deserve forgiveness, but I need it.”

“From me?” I asked in surprise. “You want my forgiveness?”

He closed his eyes. I knew the action wasn’t out of hope, but more because he was too ashamed to look at me. He was ashamed for what he’d done to me. This was the first time I had seen even an ounce of remorse in this man, and it shattered my heart. He was so strong and so capable and so
Calix
. I didn’t like seeing him this way.

Placing my hand on the side of his face, I turned his face to meet mine. “I forgave you a long time ago, Calix.”

His eyes fluttered open and in their brilliant depths, there was a deep disbelief. “You did?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

“But,”

“I love you, Calix.” I whispered. “I’ve loved you since the fourth day you had me.” I didn’t allow my eyes to stray from his even when his mouth parted and his breath caught and my face heated with a blush. “I don’t know how it happened, so please don’t ask me. But I knew, on day four, that I loved you. When you disappeared, I tried to convince myself that I hated you all over again - because you’d hurt me - not because I was confused as to why you’d taken me, but because you’d left me. Then you came back and I was right back to that fourth day. On the dock, I wanted to be with you. I hoped to make you love me in return but I thought,”

I couldn’t continue. How could I tell Calix that I thought there was no chance of him ever finding it in his heart to love me after the sins of my father? I couldn’t - I just couldn’t do it.

“You thought what?” He asked, his hand moving up to where mine was resting against his cheek. His fingers twined with mine and he pulled my hand from his face, holding it. “Tell me, love.”

I blinked, feeling wetness form in my eyes as I thought of the horror of Calix never loving me. “I can’t.”

“Baby,” he whispered. “Let me in. Tell me - there’s something bothering you, I can see it.”

“Calix,” I choked on his name and again, he placed his wine in the sand before taking my glass and placing it beside his. Then, he dragged me into his lap and held me tight.

“I love you, beautiful girl.” He whispered into my hair.

“How?” I breathed and he stiffened.

“What do you mean, how?”

“How could you possibly love me, Calix?”

“I don’t understand the question, Nova.” He said honestly. I knew he was being honest, because I could literally hear his confusion in his voice.

Burying my face into his throat, inhaling his scent, I found the strength to whisper my fears as he had once whispered his to me. “How can you love the daughter of the man who took away your childhood, murdered your parents and left you in a state of revenge?”

For a moment, he was quiet. The entire time the silence beat around us, I held my breath. When he finally spoke, his words lifted the weight of the fear I had been carrying around in my heart. They were so beautiful and perfect and I knew I would carry them with me for eternity.

“I love that girl because even though she is his daughter, she’s perfect. You’re perfect, Nova. In all your softness, you’ve healed me my darkness. I might have lost my childhood, but since I’ve known you I’ve been learning how to play. My parent’s are gone, but I know they would have adored you, Nova. I know that because I remember them and my grandmother has told me, countless times, that my mother would have adored you and my father, her son, would have been proud to know I’d found a woman with your astounding strength and admirable gentleness.” He paused for a moment, but I was too speechless to respond. And he continued. “I’ve carried the need for revenge with me for a long time, love. It’s burned through the good in my soul, leaving me haunted and dark. Until you, I was a man driven only by revenge. Now that I have you, now that I know what love is, I don’t feel the same drive toward revenge as I’ve felt for so long. Instead, I feel the need to move forward with my life - with you.”

My breath caught at the meaning in his words and I stilled in his arms. “Calix,” I breathed. “Are you saying,” My words trailed off and Calix spoke.

“I’m saying I would rather focus on building a future with my wife than I would on ruining the man who destroyed so much of my life.” He pulled my chin up to press a gentle kiss to my lips. “I’m saying that I love you and I need you more than I need to take my revenge.”

“I love you too, Calix.” I whispered against his mouth as my heart swelled impossibly large in my chest. Calix loved me. He really loved me - enough to release his need for revenge against my father. “Thank you.”

He held me tight, his body trembling with emotion as he spoke. “I’ll do anything to have you forever, Nova. I’ll do anything to be the man who makes you smile, every day. I’ll do anything to be the man you lie down next to each night - the man you share your dreams and your life with.” He took in a sharp breath. “If I have to let go of my revenge - for you - I will.”

Pressing my forehead against his, I let his words sink in. Calix wanted a life with me. He didn’t want his revenge the same way he once had. He didn’t need to use me to get to my father any longer. He simply needed me.

The way I was feeling inside - so warm and simply happy - was wonderful. I wanted to assure him that he didn’t need to do anything to keep me. He already had me. I was his forever more. Because somehow, he had found a way into the crevices of my heart. He’d infected the organ with an alarming entirety I had no desire to cure. I wanted to prove to him that there was no action needed to bind me to him - I was already his - bound by law.

So, I didn’t say anything at all. Instead, I wiggled from his lap to stand on the blanket where I pulled my shirt and skirt from my body before tossing the fabric next to the ridiculous hat I’d placed on the blanket. Standing in only my soft pink bathing suit, I moved a few steps backward. Then, I looked at Calix and grinned. “Come into the water with me?”

Calix didn’t reply. The heat in his eyes was daring and I knew he would most definitely be
coming
in the water with me. In more ways than one.

Before I knew it, Calix had stripped from his shirt and was prowling toward me in only his swim shorts. He looked positively delectable as he hunted me, herding me toward the water. When I felt the cool moistness lap against the back of my ankles, a shrill scream of delight and anticipation floated from the deeps of my throat and I turned to run quickly into the blue. I didn’t get even a step into the water before Calix had me in his strong arms, my body against his hard chest. I giggled a mock scream as Calix ran into the water, splashing violently into the perfect blue. Then, I felt his body flex and I was in the air, flying through the warm, moist Greek breeze, before I found myself submerged entirely in the water.

Not a second passed before a set of powerful arms pulled me back to the surface and then, even before I’d pulled in a breath of air, I felt lips against mine and I tasted Calix on my tongue.

I pushed away my need for air as I kissed him. Wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his broad shoulders, I held myself to him. His hands roamed over the expanse of my back, and as he swirled his tongue against mine, I tasted the salt of the ocean on his lips. Before long, my breaths were coming in fast and with my every pulled in breath, I tasted him - the man who owned me so completely. I tasted him so deeply I didn’t doubt for even a second that he was there, infused in the very essence of my soul.

“I need you.” He moaned against my lips. My body instantly replied to his words, aching for him, preparing for him.

“Yes.” I whispered. In the distant recesses of my mind, I remembered there were people on the beach. The thought made me grow stiff in his arms and I pulled back. “We’re in public.”

Calix grinned mischievously. “I know.”

“But we can’t,”

“I can have my wife wherever I want her.”

“Calix!”

“Shhh,” he nipped my bottom lip. “No one will know, love.”

“How?”

“They can’t see under the water.”

“Oh,” And then I felt my heart begin a steady racing I couldn’t seem to slow. My breaths rushed in and out of my lungs as I gripped his shoulders tight.

His blue eyes watched me carefully as he shifted himself in the water, exposing his erect length from his shorts before moving my bathing suit bottoms to the side. Cool water rushed against my exposed flesh and I gasped sharply at the unfamiliar sensation.

“Oh God,” I whispered. “Calix.”

“Feel me, Nova.” He commanded a strangled plea as he slid his thick head through my prepped folds and I marveled at the ease with which my body readied itself for him.

“I do, Calix.” I answered to his plea. “I always feel you. Even when you’re not touching me, I can feel you.”

Those words were all he’d needed to press his length into me. In one stroke that rendered me speechless, I was filled with him. He rested inside of me, allowing me to grow accustomed to his intrusion as his eyes studied my face, and then he swayed his hips with the gentle swell of the ocean waves rolling toward shore.

Calix made love to me. His motions were natural and gentle. They weren’t hurried or harsh. This was perfect. Every time I had Calix inside of me, losing myself to him losing himself in me, I never failed to think that this time was more perfect than the last.

I prayed I would never lose this with him. As I dropped my head to kiss him, our sharp breaths mingling, I had a feeling deep in my bones that I never would. I knew, I would forever long for Calix. I knew, his body was the only thing that possessed the ability to quench the hunger in mine. His soul was the only soul who not only stood beside mine, but also twisted and twined until we weren’t two single souls, but one.

Chapter 19

We had been back at the house in Alberta for nearly two weeks. I’d been so worried about the end of our honeymoon, but now that we were home, I was glad we were back. Things between Calix and I hadn’t changed as I had feared, so deeply, that they would upon our return.

He was still very attentive to me, spending nearly all his time by my side. There were some women who I suspected this would annoy deeply, but I found myself feeling almost lost whenever Calix wasn’t near. I’m beginning to believe, he had purposefully conditioned me this way. I felt, in a way, that I was very similar to an animal. And Calix was my master. I know how it must sound - silly really - but with Calix next to me I know I’m safe. He’s trained me to want him next to me always. The thought of him going away to work and leaving me here was a frightening one I was having a difficultly coping with.

As it was, Calix had converted the bedroom directly across the hall to ours, into an office so he could do as much work as possible from home. He’d bought me an ereader and allowed me to download to my heart’s content - I did. I had a countless number of books on my to be read list, and whenever Calix was working in the office, I would snuggle up in the reading corner he’d made me in the room, and I would read. Again, I know this sounds odd, but being away from him is physically difficult for me now.

My mind flashed back to the day we’d flown home and my vision glazed over as I replayed our conversation.

***

“Nova, I need for you to understand something.” Calix placed his hand on my thigh and squeezed gently. I knew this action was supposed to lend me a comfort of some sort, but I didn’t feel comfortable. I was worried. I was worried there was something very wrong and I was worried, because we were flying home and I was terrified of losing the bliss I had found with Calix while on our honeymoon once we’d returned home.

“What do you need me to understand?” I struggled to force the question from the confines of my throat.