Blasphemous (9 page)

Just as I finished uttering my last word, I saw Bass chatting with two women hanging onto his every word. He was their fucking golden boy who could do no wrong; I was getting sick of it, of him.

When my phone rang, I strolled away out of earshot, relieved that I had something else to do other than think of the fucking man. Without looking at the caller, I took it. “Hello?”

“Hey baby! I’ve missed you.” Carter.

Boy, was it wrong that I was relieved to hear his familiar voice? “Really, Carter, we both know your words don’t hold much meaning.”

“I know you don’t believe anything I say anymore, but I’m changing,
Em. I haven’t been with anyone since you, physically or emotionally,” he immediately added, reassuring me of his renewed ways.

Was this man Carter Mason?
I think not. “There is no way you can go a few days without it, Carter. You always needed it.”

“That’s true, but that doesn’t mean I can’t have my release. I think I’ve thought of you in all ways possible.”

Um, shit. Heat suffused all over my body as my vivid imagination thought of him doing what he just clearly stated. “You can’t mean that.”

“I do. My memories of you are so alive that I sometimes feel like you’re here with me. You’ll know what I mean when you get back. I’ll be your slave if you’ll have me.”

That had me laughing, hard.

It was refreshing to laugh this freely. I forgot how great it felt. “If I asked you to massage my feet every night, you’d do it, no questions asked?” I asked, teasingly. The thought of Carter at my beck and call was surely pleasing.

He gave a throaty laugh before responding to me. “Anything you want Emma. I’m not asking for anything except for you to just see that I’m dead serious about you. If that means I’ll be your butt boy, then so be it. I don’t give a damn.”

I was grinning from ear to ear when I caught Bass studying me with extreme scrutiny. I didn’t know what it was, but I could tell, even from a distance, that he was trying to hold his anger down. His expression alone was enough to sober me up quickly. The truth was, as tempting as the sound of Carter’s offer was, it didn’t change how badly I wanted to be with Bass.

I’ve begged, but he was unyielding. I was completely out of options. The only way left was to free him.

Looking away from Bass, I focused on Carter. “I—I have to go.” I cut off the call before I started walking away, fast, really fast. Before I knew it, I was running away from there like the hounds of hell were upon my heels. I was running until I reached the cottage, heaving and out of breath as I went inside.

There was nothing I wished more right now than to leave this forsaken island and to be away from Bass because I couldn’t take it any longer. I had less than two weeks. How the heck was I supposed to survive the explicit torture?

Then the idea came.

I could stay at the villa
. Well, at this point, I had to do what was the best for my sanity, even if that was moving out of this cottage and ending this blasted misery of being around him every single day. It was the best I could come up with without being too irrational. So I best get a move on with packing.

I wasn’t even surprised when I heard him enter my bedroom,
all rogue and uncontained a few minutes later. “
Why were you running?
What are you doing with all this luggage?”

Without glancing his way, I continued packing as I contemplated if I should reply or not, but I suppose, the reasonable side of me won out. With the calmest voice I could muster, I graciously answered him, “I’m moving to the villa. It’s better this way.”

“
Why?
Is that because
you’re French boyfriend
demanded you move out?”

Ah, so he found out about Paris! No wonder he was here, demanding to know things. “Think whatever you like,” I said nonchalantly, still not looking at him. I was going to play it cool. 

“You love playing with my head, don’t you?” Bass kept on going.

Not particularly. “No. I want nothing to do with you.”

He sighed, cussed, and then sighed again. “Of course, my imagination doesn’t have to work extra hard knowing how easily you put out.”

War of the words.
He was sharpening his tongue, goading me to fight back, but I wasn’t going to be baited. “Well, at least that saves you time,” I calmly whispered.

I could hear him move closer. I didn’t even need to look up to see the spite, revulsion and scorn permeating off him like a cloak. “You fuck another man while my come was still buried in you. You fucking disgust me, Emma!” Bass screwed each word with venom.

It shot through me like a virus, chipping away at my resistance, slowly breaking through my cool composure. “That would be right, Bass.
Will you go now?
”

“No! I. WILL. NOT. FUCKING. GO!” he exploded like a detonated bomb. “You will tell me every single detail, Emma. God help me before I draw them out of you! You’re walking on very fucking thin ice here. So think twice before you open that treacherous mouth of yours.”

Great, just freaking great! Why couldn’t he just disappear and go back to party with his admirers? “Stop talking because nothing good is coming out of that mouth!” I screeched, shooting him a death stare. He simply matched it, his stance ready to pounce any second.

“I’m only going to tell you this once, so you better listen good. I didn’t fuck or kiss any man. I want to move out because I can’t take this anymore. Being around you is draining. Fighting with you is pointless because, guess what?
There’s no point anymore, we’re through. Now that you’ve got that out of me,
please
, just go away.” I was genuinely pissed as I walked past him and went out to the patio to cool down.

How dare he march in here like he hadn’t rejected me?
How fucking dare he!

When I heard him follow me out, I exploded. “God, please, give me space! What the hell do you want from me, Bass? Isn’t it enough that you’ve paraded it around that you’re all happy? Isn’t it enough to flirt around with women when I’m around? I get it. We. Are. Done! I’ve accepted it. You’re done and I’m so fucking over this.”

“Well, fuck, do you honestly think you’re the only one here that’s hurting? You fucking threw everything in my face, Emma!” he blasted at me.

“You
had
the power to end this misery for the both of us,
but you didn’t
and because of that we’re unbearably hostile to each other. I’ve finally accepted it.” It seemed like all energy, all the life, just drained out of me. “I’m tired of fighting with you, Bass. Let’s end the spite right here.”

“It wasn’t that easy… I had doubts…” Bass trailed off.

“I know you did. I truly did. That’s why I don’t want to talk about it any longer.” With another defeated sigh, I went back inside my room and continued packing my things.

“If I give you another chance, will you promise to be honest with me?”

I stopped midway as his words set in. “You’ve rejected me, over and over again. What made you change your mind?”

“This.” He gestured at my haphazard things all over the room. “You’re packing and willing to move away from me.” He paused. “I’ve wanted to mend things with you, but I needed more time—more time to figure my feelings out. I feel that if I don’t fix this now, we’ll never get the chance to again.”

I shrugged, unconvinced by his admission. He was just getting paranoid because we were kaput. That was all. Men tend to do this. Heck, Carter did this, too.

“I’m not ready for us to end,” Bass choked out. He suddenly seemed vulnerable as he waited for me to say something.

“Yet you were and you pushed for it to happen.” I shoved my clothes on the floor, remembering what I went through the past two weeks. “Look at me, Bass. Didn’t you see that I was falling apart? You saw, I know you did. You saw me hurting for quite some time now,
but did that ever change your mind?
No, you were unyielding.” Pressing my lips together, I gathered more courage. “But it’s fine. These affairs usually end right about where reality checks in, so we’re right on schedule.”

Bass instantly tensed up with that admission. “Is that what we had?
An affair?
”

No. You were my love affair… my dream come to life. The thing about dreams, though, you inevitably wake up.
Dimitris shook me, but it was Jacques who woke me up. “An affair, arrangement, friends with benefits, fling and the list goes on, but it all comes down to one thing, sex. So, yes, that’s what we had. Lot’s and lots of sex.”

“You make it sound like what we had was cheap, Emma.”

“Maybe it was.”

“Take that back!”
Bass snapped like I just told him he was a poor actor.

As if.
“Fuck off and leave me alone.”

“Take those words back, Emma!”

The hell I was. “I said. Fuck. Off!”

Bass yanked my arm when I was about to leave the room, holding me down. “Take. It. Back,” he bit out, determined to get his way.

“No.”

Cupping my jaw, he penetrated me with those vicious eyes. “Tell me one thing, Emma,” he murmured in such a succinct, deadly voice, it was all I could hear. “
Did you love me at all?
”

I could lie about other things, but never my love for him. “I meant every word.”

“If you love me, then why aren’t you happy that I’ve changed my mind?”

“Because you were cruel,” I said with sadness. It was the truth. He truly was cruel, much more so than Carter because he meant so much more to me. If he’d given me time, I would’ve been completely his, but he was too caught up with his own misery that he didn’t see what it was causing me.

“I’m deeply hurt, Emma. I just love you so much it completely changed me. I’m a reasonable man, but with you, I become this jealous, overprotective, insecure guy. I feel like you’re going to leave me for Carter because you chose him once and you could do it again.”

“If I wanted Carter back, then nothing could’ve stopped me from having sex with him. If I wanted him back, not even
you
could’ve stopped me from being with him, but I did none of those, Bass. I was completely enamored with you. I was so happy that I felt like I was floating most of the time. All good things come to an end, though.”

“Emma…”

I shook my head, stopping him from talking.

Bass slowly took his fingers from my arm, before letting it completely drop to my side. He dropped his gaze, parting his lips as if to say something, but changed his mind and closed it shut. He gave me a curt nod before leaving my bedroom and going into his. 

~E~

I decided to stay in the cottage because I didn’t want to make more gossip about my relationship with Bass. I just had to endure this since it was my own fault for getting involved with him in the first place.

I was surprised to find Bass had stayed in the past two nights. He was mostly on the patio reading, watching movies or on his laptop. We barely spoke to each other, but at least we were civilized. It made it bearable. I could feel that all the anger was subsiding. Even his hate, it ebbed away as if never there. We co-existed in a pleasant manner. I was somehow okay with that. Anything was better than hostility.

On the fourth day, I was disconcerted when
Dimitris entered the cottage with Bass hanging on his arm as he gently lowered him down on his bed.

“Bass!” I shrieked, rushing to his side. “What happened to him,
Dimitris?”

“He had an accident on the set. I don’t get it,” he said with profound confusion. “We practiced the fight scenes for almost three weeks now, each one went great, but today, he seemed like he didn’t care and I accidentally hit him straight in the head.” Sighing, he glanced at me with worried eyes. “He’s already been examined, but he declined medication. He just needs sleep. Give him a day or two and he’ll be okay. I’m sorry that I can’t stay longer, Emma, but I need to attend a benefit in Athens tonight,”
Dimitris said as he started to take Bass’s shoes off. I interrupted his chore and did it myself.

I gave him a hug, releasing him after a minute. “Thank you and have fun at the benefit.”
Dimitris let himself out since I didn’t want to leave the room.

Hovering over his resting form, I slowly took care of his jeans, easing them off his body. I trained my eyes not to check on his bulge since it was clearly inappropriate, but hell, I almost gave in. Bass had a fat, sizable one that went hand in hand with his appetite.

Sitting right next to his arm, I touched his face, trying to wake him gently. “Bass, what happened? Are you hurting? Is there anything I can get you to make you feel better? How about an icepack?”

“I need a kiss,” he made an audible whisper, eyes still shut.

Blinking a few times, I was perturbed, thinking I misheard him. He did, after all, just have a big blow to the head. “Sorry, what?”

“Kiss me.”

Was he trying to make a joke out of this?
Well, I wasn’t amused. “I’m being serious, Bass.”