Blame it on the Stars (The Blame Game) (17 page)

Nick interrupted
, “Or you can call her mom.”

Chris
thought about that for a moment. “Mom sounds nice.”

Catlin stood
and gave the boy a quick hug. “It sure does. Why don’t I go grab a quick shower, and you go change your clothes.”

Chris
looked down at himself. “I’m dressed.”

“
Yeah, in the same clothes you wore yesterday, and
slept in
.”

He
shrugged again.

Catlin guided him toward his room.
“You go change, I’ll go change.”

Chris
looked back at Nick, who just laughed. “I guess it’s a mom thing. Don’t fight the power, boy.”

Catlin had one of the best days of her life. The four of them shoveled off the driveway and sidewalks around the house, then dragged a sled and some cardboard to a nearby hill on their land. It was just perfect for sledding, and they stayed there for hours. When they were finally soaked through and chilled to the bone, they walked back home. Everyone changed into dry clothing, and Catlin made them some hot cocoa and sandwiches.

After lunch, she laughed as the three guys hurried to the
TV to catch ‘Days of our Lives’. She pulled a pillow and blanket down off the sofa, and stretched out on the floor. She dozed off during the soap opera, and when she woke up, Chris was asleep beside her under the blanket. She ran her hand through his spiky hair, a clone of his father, and over his angelic little cheeks. When he stirred, he snuggled closer to her. Catlin wrapped her arms around him.

A
t that moment, it hit her.
I need this little person in my life
. One way or another, she would have to make it work.

They played more video games in the afternoon,
and then Catlin found some books on the bookshelf, and read some stories to Chris. They ate dinner, played more games, and watched TV until nine. Catlin stood and stretched. “Well, excuse me, but I need to make a call.”

They nodded to her, and she went to her room.
She dialed Steve’s number.

“
Hello.”

She could tell he was not in a good mood.
“Hi honey,” she said softly.

“
Hello. How are you feeling?”

“
Better.”

“
And how is everything going?”

“
Fine.”

“
Jesus, it’s like pulling teeth! I’m losing my patience with this situation, Catlin. You’re the most important person in my life, and I don’t even know where you are.”

“
I told you I’m in Kansas City.”

“
With an ex-boyfriend?” he asked sharply.

“
No!” she exclaimed “I’m with my brother.”

“
I’m racking my brains trying to figure this out. There’s something you’re not telling me.”

“
Yes, there is. But I can’t get into it over the phone. I’ll tell you when I get home.”

“
I want you to come back tomorrow.”

“
Okay.” She sighed. “I can do that.”

“
And I want to know the truth. Are you really not with an ex-boyfriend?”

She hated like hell to lie. Her gut churned at the very notion.
“Steve, I love you. That hasn’t changed. Please don’t be angry with me. I’ll explain it all tomorrow.”

“
What time will you be home?” he asked sullenly.

“
Damn! I guess I can leave in the morning, and be there by noon.”

“
I don’t think you’re in a position to be copping an attitude with me,” he informed her.

“
You’re starting to piss me off, and I’m not sure you want to do that. Why don’t we just say goodnight.”

“
I’ll see you tomorrow.”

S
he hung up, and wandered back into the front room, where the guys were watching TV. “Looks like I’ll be leaving in the morning.”

Christian
yelled,
“No!”
and dove at her legs. “Please don’t go!” He sobbed into her jeans.

Catlin was shocked.
“Hey, it’s okay...come here.” She got on her knees and hugged him. “I can come back.”

“
Nooo.” He continued crying, and Catlin looked to Nick and Craig for help.

Nick came over to the boy and put his hand on his shoulder.
“It’ll be okay, son. You’ll see your mother again real soon.”

Chris
hugged her neck tightly. “Stay here with us. You can be a teacher here. I want you to stay.”

“
Chris.” She pulled him back enough to look in his eyes. “I can’t live here. I have a life in Marshall. But it’s not that far away, and I want to see you as often as I can. I want you to be a part of my life.”

He was still sobbing and shaking his head.
“You’ll go away and I’ll never see you again. It’ll be forever, like it was before. I don’t want you to leave me!”

Catlin was crying now.
“No, I promise you, it won’t be that way. I just found you; I’m not going to let you go.” She held his face in her hands. “Chris, listen to me. I don’t want to be without you. I didn’t know what I was missing before, but I do now. I love you, and I want you in my life.”

“
Mommy!” He hugged her neck so tightly she almost couldn’t breathe. “Please don’t leave me Mommy!”

Catlin didn
’t know what to do. She looked up at Nick again and shook her head.

Nick knelt down by them.
“Chris, come here.” He pulled the boy off of Catlin and toward himself. “Listen. Mom’s not going away. She’s just going home.” He looked at Catlin “I guess we’re going to have to work out some kind of visitation schedule.”

She wiped her eyes and nodded.

He nuzzled his son. “Maybe this weekend I can take you to Marshall to see Mom.” He looked at Catlin, and she nodded enthusiastically. “Chris, would you like that? You want to go see where Mom lives?”

The boy lifted his head and looked at her.
“Could I, really?”

“
Really.” She nodded. “You can stay with me all weekend. Then your dad and I will figure out some kind of schedule, so I can see you lots and lots.”

Chris
stood between his parents, and put one arm around each of them. “Why can’t we stay together, like today? Today was the best.”

“
Today was great,” Catlin told him. “But honey, your dad and I have our own lives. We’re not together, but we both want time with you. We’re going to have to work it out.”

Chris
finally nodded, and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand.

Catlin brushed his hair back
. “Why don’t you get ready for bed, brush your teeth, and I’ll come in and read you a story.”

“
I don’t want to go to bed!” He pouted.

“
Oh, I think you better. The roads are cleared up, so you’re going to have school tomorrow. Come on, go get ready. I’ll pick a book and be there in a minute.”

Chris
obliged, and went to his room.

Catlin leaned back on her haunches, and rubbed her hands over her face.
“Oh my God,” she said softly.

Nick smiled at her.
“It only took two days. Didn’t I tell you you’d love him?”

She looked at Nick.
“It didn’t take two days. It took about two minutes.”

“
So what do you think now?”

She
sighed. “I think now I have a whole new set of problems.”

When Chris was settled in bed, she brought in a book she found on Craig’s bookshelf. “This was one of my favorites when I was your age,” she told him “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, by C.S. Lewis. There’s a whole set of these, they’re called the Chronicles of Narnia. How about I start the first one tonight, and we’ll read more every night we’re together.”

He nodded, and made room for her in his bed. Catlin read several chapters, until she could see
Chris nodding off. She closed the book. “I’ll make breakfast for you in the morning, before school.”

He looked at her.
“Will I really get to see you this weekend?”

“
Absolutely. I swear it. I love you Chris.”

He hugged her, and settled
back into his bed. He looked at her one last time. “You won’t forget me?”

“
Inconceivable!” she mimicked the movie they’d watched, and they both laughed. “Goodnight, honey.” She put a kiss on the top of his head, and pulled his door shut.

She went into the front room with Nick and Craig. She held the book up to Craig.
“Can I borrow this? We’re going to read the whole set.”

He nodded.
“You know, we have a gig Saturday night, so he’s not going to be able to stay all weekend. Just Friday night.”

“
Oh!” Catlin made a face. “What if I brought him back on Sunday? Whatever time you say.”

Nick nodded.
“That’ll work, if you want to do it.”

“
I do. So you’ll leave after school Friday to bring him down?”

“
Yep.” Nick replied, and Catlin wrote out directions to her house.

“
I guess I’ll leave after he gets off to school in the morning. I have some ‘splaining to do at home.”

Nick and Craig chuckled at that.

“I want to thank you both for everything. This has been the best couple days without sex that I’ve ever had in my life.”

They laughed again, and Nick said
, “We can take care of the sex part, if that’s a problem for you.”

“
No thank you.” She stood and headed to her room. “You taking care of it, now
that
would be a problem. Goodnight, guys.”

They bid her goodnight, and she went to bed. Catlin climbed between the sheets, feeling a mixture of nerves and excitement in her stomach. She knew it would be hard facing Steve, but she had so much to look forward to in her life.
It just has to work out!

Chapter Thirteen

When Catlin arrived home at noon the next day, Steve
’s car was parked in front of her house. She pulled into the garage, got her bags from the trunk, and hauled them in through the kitchen.

Steve
sat in the front room, sipping a drink.

“
Don’t get up.” She shoved all her stuff through the bedroom door and deposited it there.

He didn
’t. He just looked at her.

Catlin took off her jacket and threw it on her bed.

“How were the roads?” he finally asked.

“
Fine. Dry. Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

“
I’m the boss, remember?”

“
You’re acting like
my
boss. We never do well when we start out this way.”

He shook his head.
“I’ve been going over and over this in my mind, trying to figure it all out. I really need some answers.”

“
Do you want to hear my story, or do you want to rant?”

He took a drink
. “Let’s hear it, I guess.”

“
Don’t be an ass, Steve. Please just listen to me, and then you can pass judgment.”

He nodded, and she began.
“I was fourteen when Craig started up the band he’s in now. They made a studio out in one of our barns. It was a neat set-up actually. Well, the guys started coming around every day. I always hurried and finished my chores so I could climb up into the hayloft and listen to them practice. I knew they were good.”

Steve had settled back into his chair, and was listening intently.

“One of the guys started noticing me. It was just kidding around mostly at first. But then we started dating. My father hated the idea. My mom died when I was nine, so I pretty much got to do whatever I wanted. But daddy thought Nick looked like a hood with his long hair and black leather jacket.”

“
Nick, is he Craig’s roommate?”

She nodded, and continued,
“Things got pretty serious. Daddy tried to keep us apart, but we snuck around a lot. Craig covered for us. It was exciting and romantic for a fourteen-year-old girl, and he taught me a lot of things.”

“
About love?” Steve sneered sarcastically.

“
Yeah, about love,” she snapped back. “I loved him. We loved each other.”

“
Jesus, Catlin, you were fourteen! What could you know about love?” He looked at her. “Were you having sex with him?”

“
Now begins the passing judgment.”

He shook his head.
“I simply can’t believe a person is ready to have sex at fourteen.”

“
Well, ready or not, we did it. We did it a lot, if you want the whole truth.”

He closed his eyes.
“Not sure I needed to know that.”

“
Well, you do need to know this. He got me pregnant. I was fifteen, pregnant, and Nick and Craig were living in Kansas City by that time.”

Steve looked her in the eyes.
“Oh, Jesus.”

“
Yeah. The day they moved away was one of the worst days of my life. Craig and I were so close, and I loved Nick, I couldn’t imagine losing them both. I figured they’d go off to the big city and forget all about me. Well, they didn’t forget about me. It wasn’t long after they left that I found out I was pregnant.”

“
Oh, Jesus.” Steve repeated, but his tone had mellowed.

“
Yeah. I called Craig, and he brought Nick home. We sat down with daddy to discuss all the options. God, it was awful! Nick was yelling at daddy. Daddy was yelling at everybody. Craig thought I should have an abortion. Daddy wouldn’t consider that. Nick wanted to take me off to Kansas City and raise the baby together, but daddy wouldn’t hear of that, either. I wanted to give the baby up for adoption, but nobody seemed to like that idea. We yelled at each other for hours before I finally announced that it was my decision, and I was going to do the adoption.” Catlin looked out the window. “I have never seen Nick as mad as he was that day. He punched a hole in our living room wall before he stormed out of the house. If looks could kill, well, I’d have been dead. And Craig, well, Craig and Nick are two of a kind. What one does the other does. Craig left, too.”

“
What happened?” Steve asked softly.

“
I never saw Nick again. I had the baby, and they took him away. I never looked at him, or held him. He was just gone. It wasn’t until I started asking after the adoption papers that I learned there was to be no adoption. Nick had taken the baby, and was going to raise him.”

Steve
’s eyes grew wide. “Nick’s son—?”

Catlin nodded
. “My son. Nick and his parents raised him. I was so mad that Nick had done that behind my back, and Craig had helped him. I wanted to forget all about that baby and get on with my life, but I knew that I would never be able to, because of Nick and Craig. Jesus, Steve, can you imagine how I felt? I was barely sixteen when he was born. Dana’s age.”

Steve closed his eyes.
“My God,” he whispered.

“
Yeah. And I hadn’t seen or talked to any of them for almost ten years, until last weekend.”

“
When I arranged it.”

She nodded.

“Christian, that was his name, wasn’t it? Your son.”

“
Yeah.” She smiled. “Nick called me.” She lied a little about that. “He said I needed to meet my son. Craig and he did their damnedest to talk me into it.” She stood up and paced around. “I really didn’t want to, and I told them that. I mean, I am so happy, I just didn’t think I needed this in my life right now.” She looked down. “But I couldn’t get him out of my mind, Steve. I tried, I tried so hard. But all I did was make myself sick. I got physically sick worrying about what to do.”

Steve stood up in front of her.
“Why didn’t you talk to me about this? You have to start trusting me sometime.”

“Don’t you see that I couldn’t? I have never talked about this with
anyone
. Jetta is my best friend, and she thinks we have no secrets. Well, we do, this one.”

“
I think I understand, Catlin. So tell me, did you meet him?”

She allowed the
smile from deep inside her to creep across her face. “Yeah. Oh my God, Steve! He’s wonderful. He’s smart, and funny, and he called me ‘mommy’. He cried when I said I was leaving. He literally sobbed at my knees. It was a horrible feeling, and it was a wonderful feeling. Does that make any sense?”

“
Yes, it does.” Steve pulled her into his arms. “It sounds like love.”

Catlin was sobbing into Steve
’s shirt now. “I do love him! I wouldn’t have believed a few days ago that it was possible for me to meet him and fall in love with him in a matter of hours. But when it’s your child, when you can look in his face and see yourself, oh... I’ve never felt anything like that before.”

Steve smiled at her.
“When a baby is born, you go through those same emotions. He’s a red, wrinkled, slimy little blob, and he’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. Do you think if you would have seen him after he was born, that you would have wanted to keep him?”

She shook her head.
“I don’t know. Maybe. But deep down, I still believe I did the right thing. Yeah, I have some regrets now, but I can’t imagine my life if I had become a mother at sixteen.”

“
You wouldn’t be standing here with me right now.”

She hesitated
. “So, is standing here with you right now temporary, or a permanent thing?”

He pulled her close to him.
“It’s a very permanent thing. Dammit, I hate it when you lie to me. But I hope we’re almost through with the secrets.”

“
I guess I should tell you then, Nick is bringing him here this weekend. He’ll drop him off Friday night, and I’ll take him home Sunday. Then Nick and I are going to work out visitation.”

Steve sighed, and nodded.
“That complicates our lives a little more, doesn’t it?”

“
It’s what I want, Steve.” She looked at him.

“
Did you consider including me in any of the decisions? It’s going to affect my life tremendously.”

“
No, I didn’t. Do you want to be part of this? Because if you’re not with me you’re against me.”

“
I’m with you. And I’m consulting you about the decisions I make now. So please remember to try and do the same.”

She hugged his chest.
“God, life has complications.”

He laughed.
“I seem to recall your telling me that life with you was
not
going to be easy.”

She
grinned. “But I said something about fun, right?” On a more serious note, she asked, “So are we okay? I hate it when you’re mad at me.”

He
gazed into her eyes. “Is this the end of the surprises? Because I’m not sure I can handle any more.”

She nodded.

“And you’re feeling better?”

She nodded again.

He swept her up into his arms, and carried her to the bedroom. When he looked down, he spotted her suitcases blocking the entrance. “Shit.”

She laughed.
“That’s what you get for not helping me carry them in.”

“
I had myself worked up pretty good there for a while,” he admitted, and kicked one bag with his foot until he could get around it. He laid her on the bed. “I missed you.”

“
I missed you too, very much.” She clutched at his shirt until it came untucked. She ran her hands up under it, and over his bare chest.

He was freeing her of her clothes at the same time. They made love frantically, as if they were ra
cing against a clock. Afterward, Catlin lay in Steve’s arms, finally allowing herself to feel happy. She ran her fingers over his chest. “Do you have to go back to work?”

“
I should.”

“
But do you
have
to?”

He looked at her.
“Do you have a better idea?”

Catlin whispered in his ear.

His eyes widened. “I’m not sure that’s legal in forty-eight states.”

She grinned. “I won
’t tell.”

By seven-thirty on Friday, Catlin was starting to worry. She hadn’t heard from Nick, and they should have arrived hours ago. She paced and jumped when the phone finally rang.

“
It’s me,” Nick said. “We’re in Topeka, having car trouble.”

“
The Mustang?”

“
Yes.” He sounded furious. “A mechanic just got here, so I’m hoping it won’t be much longer.”

“
How’s Chris?”

“
Grouchy and tired. And hungry. I’m going to grab him something to eat, he can’t wait any longer.”

“Okay. Call me when you’re on your way?”

“
Will do.” He hung up.

Catlin pushed the disconnect button on the phone, then released it and dialed Steve.

“Hello,” he answered.

“
Hi. Nick’s having car trouble, so they’re going to be late.”

“
Where are they?”

“
Topeka. He said a mechanic just got there.”

“
You want me to come over?”

“
No, let’s just stick with the plan, and we’ll see you tomorrow.”

“
Okay. Thanks for letting me know.”

“
Love you.”

“
Love you too. See you.”

She hung up the phone, and put the dinner she had fixed away in the fridge.

It was nine-thirty when Nick finally called back, reporting the car’s radiator fixed. They would be to Marshall in an hour.

At ten-thirty, Catlin opened the door to Nick carrying a sleeping
Christian. “Sorry,” he whispered.

“
Couldn’t be helped.” She motioned to the bed she had made for him on the floor. “Put him down here.”

Nick did, and she pulled off the boy
’s shoes.

He stirred.
“Mom?”

“
Hi honey.” She smoothed his hair back.

Chris
smiled and fell back to sleep.

Catlin covered him up, and motioned for Nick to follow her into the kitchen.
“Hungry?”

“
No thanks.” He shook his head. “Pissed and tired.”

“
Drink?”

He raised his eyebrows
. “What do you have?”