Blackmailing Benjamin (Full Trilogy) (5 page)

Betraying Benjamin: Chapter 6

W
hen Andre and I ventured inside, Ben was apparently locked in his own room. The room he’d never used during the entire time we’d lived here. I hesitated outside the master bedroom. Every single night for the past six months the three of us had slept in that huge bed together. I’d grown comfortable with the arrangement. Simply knowing there was an attentive man whom I loved dearly to embrace me when I climbed in was enough. Knowing the two of them tended to snuggle as much with each other as they did with me just made it all the more beautiful.

The beauty had dimmed a bit tonight, however. I stood staring at the closed door to the room Ben used for everything but sex and sleep. I’d never seen the door closed before. I started to knock but Andre stopped me.

“Let him be. He’ll come around.”

I gazed up at Andre, anxious and a little desperate. “Are you sure? When we were kids he could sulk for days.”

Andre only shrugged. “I’ve never fought with him. I have no idea. Go in if you think it will help.”

Did Ben need to be alone or was he crying out for attention now? Whatever it was, I wanted desperately to fix it.

I took a chance and knocked.

“Ben? Can we talk?”

No answer. I knocked again.

“Ben, please talk to us.”

Still no response. I was on the verge of camping out against the door, but Andre tugged me toward the other room and subdued me with his gentle touch. I buried my face against his chest again, my stomach still tied up in knots. I would be close to Andre during the coming year, which was no small consolation, but I ached for Ben. Over the time we’d been together I’d learned enough about him to know he didn’t do well by himself. Our various schedules frequently meant the three of us could be apart for days at a time, only managing to find time together late at night. And when not even a night together was possible, Ben would sink into a dark, sullen mood until we could find time to be together.

“For how long?” I asked, tilting my head up to look at Andre. “How long can he live without us?”

He leaned back and glanced toward the door. “I don’t know, but it’s killing me.”

I eventually fell asleep in spite of my mind churning through all my worries and anxiety over moving so soon. When I woke up Andre was gone and I panicked briefly, worried that he’d left already. My heartbeat finally settled after a moment. He wouldn’t have left without saying goodbye, of that I was at least certain.

Voices carried down the hallway and through the cracked bedroom door. They were mostly low, but every so often Ben’s strident tone would reach my ears, alternating with Andre’s deep, even voice. Ben still sounded upset. I got out of bed and threw on one of Andre’s discarded t-shirts, then edged my way down the hallway until I was close enough to hear them without interrupting.

“Don’t you dare say you’re going to stay for me, Andre. Yes, I hate you both for going. I feel betrayed. Maybe not by you … by the football league. By my mother. By the fucking universe for all I know. By my own goddamn heart. Just leave already so I can get on with getting over you, all right?”

“Ben…” Andre began.

“Enough! It’s bad enough that I have to have this conversation twice. I’m done.”

I heard a rustling sound followed by footsteps and then a door slammed. The sound of it reverberated through my body, amping up my anxiety again. I edged my way around the corner to see Andre leaning against the kitchen counter, head bowed and shoulders slumped in defeat. He looked desperate and near tears when he looked up at me.

“I tried,” he said, and gave me a weak shrug.

“I know,” I said, hesitating to go to him after all the things Ben had said. The truth was, I felt like I was betraying him, too, even though Andre and I didn’t exactly have a choice. Neither did Ben, short of sabotaging his college degree. We were all in the same impossible situation. Choosing each other would mean compromising our ideals. Choosing school or career meant compromising our relationship. While I desperately wanted to believe we could survive a year apart, Ben’s reaction made me doubt my convictions for the first time.

“You have another day with him,” Andre said, a half-hopeful look in his eyes. “Try to get him to come around.”

I only nodded.

“I know,” Andre said, followed by a rueful chuckle. “He’s got it in that gorgeous blond head of his that the world is ending. Not much will talk him out of that idea.”

“His world
is
ending. And so is ours.” My voice cracked and I struggled to keep the emotions tamped down, otherwise I’d end up a crying mess again.

Andre let out a little strangled sound and abruptly stepped toward me and wrapped me in his arms.

As it was, Ben didn’t return that day. I said a tearful goodbye to Andre that afternoon and then focused on packing. The next morning my dad showed up to drive me to the airport. I barely heard anything he said to me, though I sensed some kind of unsaid apology in his words. It just pissed me off more, but I didn’t say anything. With Andre now on the other side of the country, I felt split, and I doubted staying in Los Angeles would have helped me or Ben remain whole. The prospect wasn’t any more likely once I got to D.C., either.

I was helpless now, and all I could do was simply hope that a year apart wouldn’t destroy what the three of us had together.

When I heard Dad say Ben’s name, I tore my attention away from the the scenery along the freeway.

“What did you say?”

“Ben’s moving home I guess. He said something about your roommate—what was his name?”

“Andre.”

“Yeah. Ben said he moved away, too. That’s a shame, he seemed like a good guy.”

“Did he tell you where Andre moved to?” I asked.

Dad shook his head. We’d reached the airport so I said nothing else until he pulled up to the curb outside the terminal. With all my luggage on a cart, we finally paused and I gave my dad a hug goodbye.

“D.C.,” I said as we pulled apart. Dad gave me a quizzical look. “That’s where Andre moved to. You can tell Linette. In fact,
please do
tell her exactly that because Ben probably won’t and I’d really like her to know.” I had a distinctly bitter taste in my mouth remembering my stepmother’s threat. Getting the last word only gave me the tiniest bit of satisfaction, however.

Dad’s expression clouded. There were so many little things left unsaid between us, but as long as Linette had a hold on him, nothing I said would make it through. He nodded, his face grim as he turned to get back into his car.

“Daddy?” I called just before his head dipped below the car’s roof.

“What is it, Katie?”

My heart surged at his old nickname for me. Maybe the sweet guy I remembered from before Mom died and Linette took her place was still in there somewhere. I wished I could figure out how to get him to admit what Linette had done without confessing things I didn’t want him to know. There was one thing I could tell him, though.

“Tell Ben I love him.”

“I will. Have a safe trip.”

Silently I vowed that if we made it through the next year, I’d do whatever it took to keep the three of us together.

Book Three

Belonging
to
Benjamin

Belonging to Benjamin: Chapter 1

B
en plastered on a fake smile for the camera, wishing like hell the day would hurry up and end. His graduation cap itched, and the dark gown had been soaking up the heat of the sun so it felt like a sauna. He should’ve gone naked underneath like so many of his fellow graduates, but the stunt would’ve been wasted. The only people who might have appreciated it were all the way across the country.

He hoped he’d be seeing them in only one more day. More than that, he hoped they hadn’t entirely forgotten about him. Flying across the country and hunting down Kat and Andre was something he needed to do though. In spite of how they’d left things almost a year ago, he still loved them. He had to find out for himself whether their silence had been due to his own refusal to reach out. He’d been a fool for not trying all year.

Andre had been the only one to reach out to him, though in an indirect way. Ever since his old lover had left to play pro football for a team on the East Coast, Ben had been compelled to watch every single game. It was after one of those games when he’d seen Andre’s interview. Prepared for the standard platitudes the players would spout for the camera, Ben had been surprised when his own name spilled from Andre’s lips. He didn’t remember everything Andre had told the interviewer, but those few words he did remember still echoed in his mind and gave him hope.
“I did it for my dad, of course, but really I owe it all to Kat and Ben.”

His parents hadn’t been thrilled with his announcement that he was moving across the country. They expected him to attend law school at Stanford, but he was done being under his mother’s thumb. Georgetown was where he had his sights set and it had less to do with the school’s merits than its location.

“I’m done with your bullshit, Mom,” he bit out, still managing to keep his lips stretched for the sake of the professional photographer.

“Your father and I hoped for more for you, dear. We only want the best,” his mother replied, her voice just as stilted as his.

“He’s not my dad,” he muttered, but said no more because the man in question, Garrett Farrell, was approaching. Ben felt a little guilty for the jab. Garrett had been a better dad to him than the asshole who had left him and his mother for a younger woman when he was ten years old. Garrett also happened to be the father of the woman Ben loved.

Kat’s absence still stung. She’d avoided all of them for the past year, not even returning home for the holidays, the animosity between her and his mother like a wound that refused to heal.

“We ready for more photos?” Garrett asked, with jovial humor. The man was no fool, though. Ben’s stepdad only affected those mannerisms when he sensed tension between Ben and his mother. Always the diplomat, Kat’s father had probably been the biggest reason he and Kat had agreed to attend a local university at the same time. They still hated to disappoint him.

Ben relaxed a bit now that he had another person to divert his attention. Garrett still wasn’t entirely an ally — he generally tended to take the side of Ben’s mother — but at least he’d never cornered Ben or Kat to assert his agenda.

“I was just trying to impress on Ben the flaw in his plan to move to D.C.,” his mother said in her fake cheerful voice.

“He’s an adult, Linette. He’s made his choice and Georgetown’s law program is one of the best. Let him go.”

“I’m standing right here, you know,” Ben said.

Finally the photographer finished up and handed Ben and his stepdad a card, letting them know where they could order the photographs from. Ben swiftly stripped off his gown and cap, only half aware of what looked like an argument going on between his mother and stepdad a few paces away.

When he glanced at them he was surprised by Garrett’s scowl and the angry expression on his mother’s face. They’d had arguments before, but nothing that had provoked that kind of a standoff between them in such a public place.

Ben strained to hear what they were fighting about, stepping a couple paces closer. The two of them were too distracted to notice him, and he could just hear their tense voices, pitched low to avoid a scene.

“I know my daughter. Except for your ridiculous plan, she never does anything she doesn’t want to do.”

“That’s my issue. Ben’s always been affected by her insane schemes. This is no different.”

“Ben’s perfectly capable of making his own decisions. If that means being close to Kat, who are we to stand in his way? It’s better than them being at each other’s throats.”

Ben’s mother made an exasperated noise. “She’s his
sister
. How can you condone such … abhorrent behavior? I did everything I could to make sure that didn’t happen and here you are giving your
blessing
?”

Garrett sighed. “They aren’t blood siblings. Just because we’re married doesn’t preclude them from having a relationship.”

Ben’s mother shook her head. “It isn’t only that. It’s been a year. She’ll break his heart, I’m sure of it. You know how sensitive he can be.”

“Jesus, Linette. Give them a little more credit. I saw them together just before Kat moved. They’ve never seemed happier.”

“Well, that black roommate of theirs is living in the same city as Kat. Did you know that? How do you know she’s not
involved
with him now?”

Garrett didn’t answer for a second. When he finally spoke again, his voice had acquired a dangerous edge—something Ben had never heard before. “I have never once questioned my daughter’s choices or her judgment. I might not agree with everything she does, but I trust her to make the right decision for herself. You could learn a few lessons from her.”

With that, the older man stalked off, leaving Ben’s mom standing and gaping after him, her mouth working like a fish deprived of water.

Ben was dazed by the revelations of the conversation he’d just overheard. How long had they known about him and Kat? And Jesus, Garrett had been aware of it already and never said a damn thing to him or to Kat. His gut knotted up into a tight, painful ball and heat rose to his face. He stood rooted to the spot, staring in shock at his mother. She had done this to them.
She
had been the mastermind behind making Kat leave, not because of Andre … because she
knew
. She knew about his and Kat’s relationship, and she’d taken Kat away from him.

Slowly, his mother turned, shaking her head as though in impatience. When her gaze fell on Ben, her face paled.

He clenched his teeth and pointed at her. “Don’t say another goddamn word, Mother. I’m done with you.”

Belonging to Benjamin: Chapter 2

B
en spent the next day in a haze of anger and hurt. What would have happened if his mother hadn’t manipulated Kat into leaving? Kat wasn’t the kind of person to give up easily, but when his mother had played Kat’s dad against her, she’d agreed willingly enough. If there was one person in the world Kat hated to disappoint, it was her father. He still remembered seeing the anguish in her eyes their last day together, but he’d been too overwhelmed by his own feelings of loss and abandonment to acknowledge her pain. They’d been quiet that morning while Andre packed and prepared to leave for his cross-country flight. Andre wouldn’t let them go with him to the airport. Instead, he’d kissed Ben goodbye and told him to stay—to make sure things were set right between him and Kat again before she had to turn around and leave herself.

Ben hadn’t been able to face her, though. He cursed himself now for his ridiculously petulant behavior at the time. He hadn’t been able to see past his feelings. All he knew was that she and Andre would be together and that they were leaving him behind.

It wasn’t until he was seated on the plane the day after his graduation—almost a full year after that painful farewell—that his emotions shifted toward the positive again. He let out a deep breath when the plane’s wheels lifted off the runway, anxious but resolute about his decision. It didn’t matter to him how Kat or Andre received him once he found them. As long as they knew the truth. He had felt abandoned and desolate when they left, even though he knew it was beyond their control. He’d known that it was his own mother’s doing, but now he knew without a doubt that it hadn’t been for the reasons he’d believed.

He managed to sleep through most of the six-hour flight, his dreams drifting like they always did to the last evening spent with the two of them. In it he could taste the sweet tang of Kat’s pussy as his tongue slipped between her slick folds. Sometimes the dream would morph into one where he was the only one with her, their skin sliding together as he moved above her, his cock sunk deep inside her hot, hungry channel. Kat always looked so beautiful like that, her dark hair splayed across the pillow and her full breasts bouncing with each of his steady thrusts. Andre would inevitably appear and the pair of them would fuck her again and again, each time drawing more beautiful sounds of pleasure from her lips.

The passenger seated next to him let out a sound of shock that awoke him abruptly, his cock aching and straining at his seatbelt through his jeans. His face heated in shame and he shoved his small pillow into his lap. The elderly lady at his right turned her head toward the window, apparently disgusted.

The erection lingered for longer than he’d have liked, but he couldn’t get the dream images out of his mind. Over the past year, he’d had frequent dreams and had always awakened with a gut-wrenching sense of despair over his loss. But his class load coupled with his fear that they’d moved on kept him from contacting them to reconnect. This was the first time since Kat and Andre had left that he awoke feeling pleasantly buzzed from the euphoria of making love with them.

He checked his watch and then stood up from his aisle seat to visit the lavatory before the plane began its descent to the Dulles airport. With his rising anxiety over his reunion with Kat and Andre, his hard-on had subsided. He still maintained a hopeful excitement that had been present ever since he’d walked away from his mother the day before with the understanding that he and Kat didn’t need to keep their secret any longer.

His luggage collected, he caught a cab and directed it to Andre’s Fredericksburg address he’d tracked down, believing it would be safer to find his old lover first. He was certain Andre would give him a more welcoming reception than he probably deserved. Then perhaps they could see Kat together.

It was close to mid afternoon when the taxi stopped on a tree-lined street in front of a newer-looking brownstone townhouse. His heart pounding hard in his chest, he paid his fare and hauled his heavy suitcases out of the trunk and up the steps. He cursed his shaking hand when he jabbed his finger into the doorbell and waited.

No response.

He leaned to the side to glance through one of the narrow windows that bracketed the wide front door. What if Andre wasn’t home? It was late enough in the day, he had hoped Andre might be home but he had no idea what the man’s schedule was. It was off-season and training hadn’t started, as far as he knew.

He hit the doorbell again and waited, pulling out his phone to flip through his contacts. Andre had sent him a brief text to wish him a happy birthday a few months earlier, but he hadn’t responded. He hoped his friend still had the same number.

Just as he hit the “Send” button, the door was flung wide open. Ben’s stomach lurched and his head jerked up. Andre’s tall, wide-shouldered bulk filled the doorway, his dark chest glistening with water droplets. All he wore was a thick, red terrycloth towel, barely clinging to his hips.

Somewhere inside the townhouse echoed the trill of a cell phone, but Andre didn’t seem to hear it.

“Miss me?” Ben said.

“Damn straight,” Andre said, his gaze heating as it swept down Ben’s body.

Ben almost smiled at Andre’s use of one of Kat’s favorite phrases, but didn’t get the chance. Before he could react, Andre gripped him by the back of the neck and tugged him across the threshold into his arms.

“A fucking year. You should have called me back, asshole,” Andre said a second before their mouths crashed together in an urgent tangle of lips and tongues. Nothing else mattered in the moments that followed. Ben immersed himself in Andre’s freshly showered scent, breaking their kiss only to bury his face in Andre’s neck and inhale deeply.

The door swung shut behind him, and suddenly he was pressed against it with Andre’s fingers twining through his hair, tugging his head back. Lips and teeth grazed against his bared throat, kissing and sucking. Ben let his hands roam over the familiar landscape of Andre’s body, tracing the lines of all his thick, corded muscles. Ben’s cock was rock hard now and he ground his hips against Andre’s, their erections aligned perfectly through the layers of fabric that stood as barriers between them.

“This has to go,” Ben said, sliding his hands down Andre’s stomach and yanking at the towel. The damp length of fabric fell to the floor and Andre’s cock was gloriously thick and hot in Ben’s palm, twitching under his touch.

Andre groaned and tilted his hips into Ben’s stroking palm. “You next,” he said in a gruff, urgent voice. His hands tugged at the hem of Ben’s shirt, pulling it off over his head. He immediately switched to Ben’s jeans, ripping at the buttons and zipper, shoving them and his boxers down over his hips. Andre didn’t waste time pulling them all the way off, but pressed his hips in again and gripped their cocks together in his hand.

Ben took hold of them both, too, just above Andre’s grip, and they stroked in tandem, each thrusting against each other. He tilted his head back and accepted Andre’s mouth against his again, moaning in ecstasy as the friction of their cocks rubbing in their palms sent currents of pleasure through his body.

Andre’s tongue swept in hungry licks between Ben’s lips, plunging in and surging out again. He nipped and bit as his hips continued their slow grinding against him, his cock hot and soft as velvet in their shared grip. His free hand tangled in Ben’s thick hair and tugged his head back. Hot lips descended to Ben’s neck and the bites continued, each one reminding Ben how much he had missed Andre’s touch and how much he needed to feel consumed utterly and completely by this man. He hadn’t forgotten what a joy it was to lose himself with utter abandon to someone he loved.

It didn’t matter now. All that mattered was Andre’s touch and the rising vibration of their cocks against each other. Andre’s balls smacked against his own, their soft weight adding their own sensual caress. He let out a low, long moan, which Andre echoed, sinking his teeth harder into Ben’s shoulder. Before he could register them, the waves of pleasure surged through him with violence and his hips bucked up into their hands. Hot streams of semen shot in unison from both tips of their cocks, the bulk of it painting stripes along Ben’s stomach.

Ben let his hand fall to his side and released a stuttering sigh. Andre still held them both within his large, gentle grip, his gaze dropping to stare at them in wonder. He stroked them together again.

“I missed this,” he said. His gaze met Ben’s, but something in his eyes seemed distinctly sad.

Without having to ask, Ben understood that look. In spite of the amazing reunion, something was still missing.

“You haven’t seen her, have you?” Ben asked.

Andre expelled a deep breath and handed Ben his discarded towel. “Not for months. We lost touch after the season started. I tried, but she stopped answering my calls and texts.”

“Are you busy tonight?”

“Only with you,” Andre said.