Black Falcon: Complete Series Collection (20 page)

“What!?” I rip the phone away from my ear after her shrill screech. “What do you mean ‘he has a girlfriend’?”

A tear rolls down my cheek, and I wipe it away with my palm. It’s hard to say that out loud. “I guess he has for a while, but that’s not the worst part.”

“What can be any worse than that?”

“She’s pregnant.”

Aubrey gasps. “Like, with a baby?”

I roll my eyes. “Yes. She says it’s Noel’s.”

“Oh, my God. Screw the job. Run away as fast as you can from that freak show. Come home.”

I can’t bring myself to tell her that Sophie is Riff’s ex. That will only make her feel weird, and the situation is fucked up enough as it is. I sigh and think about catching the next flight to New York so I can wallow in my apartment. Being anywhere around Noel Falcon is the last thing I want, which is why I’m here. I need to get some space and figure out my next move.

A knock on the door startles me. Damn, I should’ve put the Do Not Disturb sign on the door. “Just a minute,” I say.

“Who is that?” Aubrey questions.

I shove up from the bed and start toward the door. “It’s probably just housekeeping.” I pull open the door, expecting to find maid service, and my heart clenches. “What are you doing here?”

Noel shrugs with his hands deep in his pockets. The neck of his red shirt hangs loose from his fight with Riff and his dark hair is still wild. His face is red and the sparkle in his blue eyes is gone, replaced by dullness. He looks awful. “Can I come in?”

A sane person would slam the door in his face after telling him to take a flying leap. As much as I want to do that, I can’t bring myself to after looking at his face. He looks broken. Maybe he actually cares that I left? I open pull the door and he squeezes past me. I lean my forehead against the door and take a deep breath. “Aubrey, I’ll have to call you back.”

“Is it him?”

I nod. “Yes.”

She takes a breath. “Tell him to fuck off. You don’t need to put up with his shit.”

After I tell her okay and she’s satisfied I’m about to throw him out on his ass, I end my call. He’s waiting in silence—waiting on me to make a move. Since I’ve already let him in, I have no choice but to face him, to hear him out. I turn around and lean against the door, but I can’t look at him. The worn carpet marks a path from the bed to the door. I wonder how many happy couples spent romantic weekends in this room and if any ever went through anything like this situation—betrayal by a lover.

Noel steps toward me and grabs my hand. I try to jerk away, but he refuses to let go. “I know you hate me and never want to see me again, but I can’t let that happen. You mean everything to me. I don’t love Sophie. I never have. I love you, more now than ever. I can’t lose you.”

My chest clenches tight at the sound of her name on his lips. A tear falls from my eye. “Why did you sleep with her? How could you betray Riff like that? More importantly, how could you keep this from me? We are not supposed to have secrets.”

He sighs and brings my knuckles to his lips. “I don’t even remember her getting into my bed, to tell you the truth. I’m not always on my best behavior and, honestly, a few months ago, I was too wasted most of the time to remember much of anything. One morning I woke up and there she was—completely fucking naked. I knew Riff would go through the fucking roof when Sophie told him what happened, so I bought her a plane ticket home.”

“You sent her home?”

He nods. “I wanted the problem gone. I felt like shit. I couldn’t believe that, even in a fucked up state, I could let that happen. Riff’s the only family I have. I would never dick him over, or so I thought. That’s why I sent her away—to fix things.”

“You don’t remember sleeping with Sophie at all?”

Noel frowns. “Nothing. That’s what kills me. I watched Riff call her a million times after he figured out she’d split. I knew at some point I would have to ‘fess up to my shit. To be honest, I prayed Sophie would never tell him, but I knew she would. It’s just the kind of person she is.” He takes a ragged breath and pinches the bridge of his nose. “She told him we’d slept together, and she could never go back with him after that.”

I shake my head. Poor Riff.

“Riff hated me for taking her away from him. We’ve fought so many goddamn times over her, I’ve lost count. I try to explain that I don’t love her, but he won’t listen. That only makes things worse. He’ll never forgive me.”

“Have you seen her since she left?”

He shakes his head. “No, and I never planned to either. Not until a month ago when she called Riff to tell him she’s pregnant with my baby. I have a hard time wrapping my head around it, you know. Even wasted, I always use a condom. I don’t know how this happened.”

I look into his eyes. “You didn’t use a condom with me.”

Noel’s gaze flicks to mine. “That’s because you’re you. I love you. You’re the only girl I’ve ever loved, and I had to fucking have you. I had to be near you—feel you completely. I’ve missed you so much.”

I blink out a couple more tears. “If you haven’t seen her, why do people call her your girlfriend?”

He sighs and pinches his nose between his thumb and forefinger again. “I called Sophie after I found out she was pregnant. She told me she’s almost positive it’s mine, and I felt sick. I always thought I would start a family with the love of my life. Someone just like you.” My stomach knots, and my legs feel week. I grip the door handle for support. “The thought of a little kid running around who belongs to me made me want to step up to the plate. I don’t want the kid to hate me. If Sophie’s baby is mine, I want to be there for it.”

Noel will make a great father, and I guess I didn’t give him enough credit. He’s not as immature as I thought. I shake my head. “That still doesn’t explain the whole girlfriend thing.”

He shrugs. “Sophie said the only way she’ll let me be a part of the whole process is if she can claim we’re together—something about not wanting to look like a slut.”

“But you’re not even sure the baby belongs to you.”

“I know, but if it is, I want to be a better father than mine is. I want to be in its life. I won’t turn my back on it. If Sophie wants to call herself my girlfriend, that’s fine, but I don’t have to love her and it doesn’t have to be true.”

“Do you know how absurd that sounds?”

Noel nods and sets his gaze on me. “I would’ve never agreed to it if I knew that we were going to happen. You have to believe me.”

Mistakes can happen. I know that. Noel isn’t a virginal type of guy. Hell, the whole world knows he has a massive sexual history, but the world doesn’t get to see this sweet side of him—the side that will do anything for anyone. My Noel.

I ask, “Can’t you just wait and get paternity tests once the baby’s born then take her to court? I’m pretty sure you can afford an attorney.”

“I could do that, but then I’d miss all the ultrasounds and the birth. I want to be a part of everything if that’s my kid.”

“If the baby isn’t yours, then that means it’s—”

He rubs his face. “Not Riff’s. He can’t have kids. He got into some kind of accident when he was younger or something.”

“But it’s possible, right? She was with him before you.” The thought of Riff and Noel sharing the same girl makes me shudder.

“I don’t think so.”

“How does Riff feel about all this?”

Noel shrugs. “He won’t talk to me about it. He feels betrayed and won’t speak to me. Whenever I try to talk to him about it, things get...ugly, and that’s not good for the band.”

He’s right. This whole situation sucks, especially for the band. I’ve seen the tension between the two. I knew all that male territory-marking was about more than just me. Noel drops my hand and runs his fingers through his hair. His hands stay behind his head while he paces near the foot of the bed. I’ve never seen him like this—torn between wanting me and needing to take responsibility for a fucked-up mess.

I can’t watch him fall apart. It’s not him. “Would you stop? You’re making me nervous.”

He stops pacing and sighs before sitting on the edge of the bed. Both of his shoulders slump, and his blue jeans strain against the length of his long, muscular legs. My eyes roam over his body. His chest heaves under his red T-shirt as he rests his elbows on his knees and stares at the floor.

I can’t help but think this is one of the last times I’ll be locked alone in a room with Noel Falcon. This feels like our good-bye. The accusation of always leaving because I’m second to him plays out yet again. There’s no way I can stay with him while he’s caught up in all this baby-mama drama. A few quick steps, and I find myself next to him. My body seems to have a mind of its own when it comes to Noel. The pull to him is crazy. I sit next to him. Our hips and legs touch, and I lift my hand to rub his back. As much as I wish this wasn’t happening, he’s still one of my oldest friends, and he’s hurting. He sighs and grabs my other hand, bringing my wrist to his lips and kissing the delicate skin over my pulse point. Need zings through me, and I squeeze my thighs tightly.

“Thank you,” he whispers against my skin. “Thank you for staying with me.”

My lips turn down. He doesn’t know this is my good-bye. “Noel...”

He brushes my lips with his fingertips. “Shhhhhh. Let’s not talk about this anymore. I just need to hear you say you love me. That this isn’t going to ruin us.”

I bite my bottom lip. Even though I’m unbelievably pissed, I can’t deny the feelings in my heart. I do love him, more than anything, but I can’t do this. I can’t be the other woman. Noel’s eyes plead with me to tell him I love him and that I still need him. I pull his fingers away from my lips and then cup his face. He turns his head and kisses my palm. One last kiss is all I can give him. I can’t tell him that I love him, even though I do, because it will only lead him on.

I commit to memory every line and curve of his face. Never again will I hold him like this. I lean in and press my lips to his, and he shuts his eyes. He tenses and tentatively moves his lips with mine. A single tear rolls down his cheek. He feels it too. He knows me well enough to know this is it for us. Noel wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me into him. Panic surges through me. If he starts touching me, it’ll be over. It doesn’t take much from him to turn me on, and I can’t let my body overrule my head.

I break our kiss and lean my forehead against his. “Noel...I can’t.”

He opens his eyes. “Can’t or won’t?”

I shrug and drop my hands into my lap. “Does it really matter?”

“It matters to me. We can work this out. I just need some time to—”

I shake my head. “No, Noel. I can’t be that girl. I can’t be second in your life. You’ve always known that about me. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

He lays his hand on my thigh, and my whole body tingles. “Would you’ve come here—been with me—if you’d have known? I wanted you here with me, and when I saw my shot to make that happen, I took it.”

I cross my legs in an attempt to create more space between us, but my body instinctively turns into him. “But you lied to me. I can’t forgive that.”

A harsh breath escapes his lips. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

I move his hand off my thigh. “I believe you, but that doesn’t change the situation. I understand you feel like you need to be with Sophie. I do. But I can’t be a part of your life during all this.”

Noel tilts his head. “What are you saying?”

I take a deep breath. “I need you to leave.”

“Lane?”

I shake my head and close my eyes. “Please leave.”

“No. Don’t say that. Don’t shut me out.”

He’s not going to go willingly, and if I don’t end this now, I might let him con me into staying, being second in his life. I gaze into his eyes and try to look as hard as possible. “I’m done with you.”

He grabs my hand, and I jerk away. “No.”

I shove off the bed. “Get the fuck out.”

Noel steps in front of me. He leans into me, and I step back, bumping against the wall. “You want me to go?”

“Yes.”

He searches my face while his warm breath hits my lips. His hands go on either side of me, effectively pinning me against the wall. Our thighs touch as he pushes against me. I swallow hard and try not to think about how close his body is. His nose traces my chin. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Noel kisses my chin, and I close my eyes. My head tips back. His lips feel amazing, and my chest actually heaves. “You can really give this up? Won’t you miss how I make you feel?”

Of course I’ll miss this. The entire time we were apart I missed him. This time won’t be an exception, but for my own sanity, I have to end this. I can’t allow my feelings to be toyed with. Knowing I’ve fallen for him again so quickly scares me. If I allow this thing between us to continue and he eventually leaves me for Sophie, I’ll be crushed. I’m just trying to think ahead.

A tear rolls down my cheek, and I turn my head away from him. “Please stop hurting me.” The words come out as a whisper, but I know he hears them.

He flinches, drops his arms—freeing me from his muscular prison—and steps back. He runs his hand roughly through his hair. “I’m sorry, Lane.” Before another word can be said, he turns and heads out the door. I jump when the door slams behind him.

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T
he cheapest flight to New York leaves tonight at nine o’clock. It sucks I have to pack up and leave this room Mike so graciously gave me. Checkout is at noon, and hanging out in the airport for eight hours will suck so much.

I throw my pajamas in my bag and zip it. I walk toward the door as a knock startles me. I open the door without looking through the peephole and stop in my tracks. “Mike? What’s up?”

He shoves his sunglasses on top of his head. “Oh, good. You’re ready.”

I tilt my head. “Ready?”

“Yeah, I’m here to take you back to the bus.”

I shake my head. “I’m sorry you wasted your time coming over here, but I’m not going back.”

Mike frowns, and his eyes look sad. “Noel knew you would say that. Here.” He hands me a paper.

I take it. “What’s this?”

“Your contract.”

My brow furrows as I read through the legal document baring my signature and Noel’s. “I don’t understand.”